by Mz. Robinson
Shontay and I hadn’t discussed the new edition to her family since that day at her house. Since then, she, Kenny, and his baby’s mother had been trying to work out some form of understanding.
“Kiya is adorable,” She said, looking out the window. “She looks just like Kenny.”
“You’re cool with that?”
“It’s too late for me not to be,” She said. “I wasn’t given a choice.”
“You have a choice of whether or not you want to be a part of their extended family.”
“It’s a package deal,” She said, looking over at me.” If you want the man you want the child.”
“Why do you want the man?”
“I love him,” she said.” He’s my husband.”
“I know ‘Tay, but is it worth all he’s put you through? Is it worth sacrificing the happiness you deserve?” I asked.
“Kenny’s made sacrifices too,” she said, softly.
“What has he sacrificed?” I asked, angry. “Other women?”
Letting out a fake laugh, I concentrated on the traffic around me. Tapping my brakes lightly I watched in my rearview mirror as the car behind us slowed down and put some distance between us. They had been tailgating us for more than thirty minutes.
“No,” she said, solemnly.
“Plus, he had a child with another woman,” I added.
“I know that ‘Tavia.” “So what sacrifice?”
“You don’t think I’m upset about all of this?” She asked, raising her voice.
“Are you?”
“I’m mad as hell!” She snapped. “I’m mad that I love him. I’m mad that I can’t let him go. But most of all I’m mad that another woman gave him the one thing I can’t.”
I took my eyes off the road just long enough to look over at Shontay. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. “Tay,” I asked,” What do you mean?”
“I’m sterile, ‘Tavia.”
I focused back on the road in front of me. “How long have you known?” I asked.
“Since I was fifteen,” she confessed.
“What happened?”
“I had PID,” She said, sniffling. “And I didn’t get the proper treatment.” I read about PID, Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, and that if left untreated it could leave a woman sterile. But I had never heard of anyone as young as Shontay having it.
“Tay,” I said softly.
“My fallopian tubes were severely damaged.” She cried.
Taking one hand off the wheel I grabbed hers,” I’m sorry Tay,” I said sincerely. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“The only people who know are my mom and Kenny,” She said.
“That’s why you stayed with Kenny,” I told her.
“He accepted me for me,” She said,” He loved me and wanted me even though I was damaged.”
“You’re not damaged,” I told her.” Not being able to have children doesn’t determine who or what you are.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” She said, wiping her face with her hands,” You still can.”
I never thought about my ability to conceive a child or the possibility that I couldn’t. For me it had never been an issue because I’ve never wanted children. Shontay on the other hand always loved being around kids and always talked about starting her own family. Now knowing that she couldn’t, I felt so much pain for her. But not as much pain as I felt for her because she didn’t seem to realize that her physical condition didn’t give Kenny justification to do what he did.
Letting go of her hand I wiped my face. “So are you bringing Kenny to Daddy’s birthday party?” I asked.
“No, I know you don’t like Kenny,” she chuckled.” I’m coming solo.”
“Bring him,” I said, hesitantly.
“You sure?” She asked.
Laughing, I said,” Yeah I’m sure.”
“Thanks ‘Tavia.”
“Welcome.”
“So will I finally get to meet Damon?” She asked. Taking the I-565 exit I headed in the direction of Shontay’s home.
“Of course,” I said, smiling. “Mama invited him before she invited me.”
“Ms. Charlene really likes him.”
“Girl, yeah.”
“She’s probably already planning your wedding.”
Throwing one of my hands up I shook my head, “Marriage is not in my vocabulary.”
“That’s the same thing you said about relationship.”
“Don’t go there.”
Laughing, she said,” Okay, but never say never.”
I pulled into Shontay’s driveway and put my car in park. We were walking up to her front door when a black Impala with dark tinted windows pulled in front of her house and stopped.
“Who is that?” I asked.
“I have no idea.”
We waited to see if anyone was going to get out. No one did. I strained to see through the tint. I couldn’t make out how many people were inside the car. Unlocking her front door Shontay stepped inside. Following her I shut the door behind me. Dropping her bags, Shontay walked over to her living room window.
“They’re just sitting there,” she said, peeping through the curtains.
Looking over her shoulder I watched as the car finally spun off.
“I guess they had the wrong house,” Shontay stated, walking away from the window.
“Maybe.” I stood in the window, staring into space. I had a bad feeling. I didn’t know when, where, or how but something was about to go down.
Chapter 19
With Daddy’s 53rd birthday approaching and her divorce pending from Bill, Mama had her hands full. I wanted to keep as much stress of her as I could, so I volunteered to help her with the party planning. I looked around the living room and that’s when the reality of Mama and Bill’s divorce set in. All of his belongs were gone. All the family pictures that included him were gone. He was gone.
“I’ll be a single and free woman in sixty days,” Mama said.
The two of us were sitting side by side on her sofa going over the details of Daddy’s party.
“Ten days before your father’s birthday,” She said, smiling.
“I’m sure Daddy will be very happy with that present,” I said, scanning the guest list. “Are you sure you want Pastor Davis to come,” I asked, circling his name on the list.
“Do you know any other ministers we can invite?”
“Why do you have to have a minister present,” I asked, scanning the other names.
“Because, I’m giving your Daddy this.”
She slid a small covered ring box into my lap. Looking up at her I held the box in the palm of my hand. There was silence as I slowly opened the box. Once I had the box open, I gazed at the beautiful gold diamond cut man’s wedding band.
“It’s beautiful.”
Smiling she reached into her pants pocket and pulled out another box. “It matches these,” she said, holding open the other box.
Inside were a gold ladies band that matched the band I was holding and what I estimate as being at least a two-carat marquise cut solitaire.
“He gave me these last year in Vegas,” she said.” He told me to keep them until I was ready to be with a man who really loves me.”
I looked at her smiling the beautiful smile I had grown to love and also missed during the time she and Daddy were not together. She smiled when she was with Bill too but it wasn’t the same.
“So I guess we have a wedding to plan,” I smiled.
Her expression changed to one of surprise. “You support this?” She asked.
“Yes I support it.”
“No complaining about us just getting back together?” She asked. “No comments on how I’m getting out of one marriage and jumping into another?”
“Nope.”
“What’s gotten into you?” She asked, looking at me suspiciously.
Smiling I thought about Damon. “If something is right Mama,” I said, smiling,” Why question it.”
“You have
a point.”
“Besides,” I added. “I love you and Daddy. I want you to be happy.”
“We love you too,” She smiled. “And we are.” There was a pregnant pause between the two of us. “So how are things with Damon?” She asked.
“Good.”
“Good?” She asked,” How good?”
“Real good,” I laughed.
“So good you may finally give me a son-in-law?”
“Not that good.”
“What are you afraid of?”
“What do you mean?” She gave me her “don’t play with me look”.
“I don’t know Mama.”
“Of having my heart broken, I guess.”
“He can’t break it if you never give it to him.”
“Exactly.”
“But…” I knew there was a but.
“You also can’t experience the good that comes along with loving someone and having them love you. Why deprive yourself of that?”
“I pondered her question without answering.
“Besides, Damon’s not the type of man who is going to settle for just sex.
Sooner or later he’s going to ask you for the real thing.”
“I’ll deal with that when we get to it,” I said. “But as for right now we have one wedding to plan.”
“We could make it a double,” She mumbled.
“Let it go, Mama.”
Throwing her hands up in the air, she said, “Ok, have it your way.”
Shaking my head I patted her on her leg and said, “Now let’s get back to planning your dream wedding,”
A dream wedding is exactly what I wanted my parent’s to have. The first time they got married they didn’t have enough money for a ceremony so they tied the knot in front of a justice of the peace at our local courthouse. This time I planned to give them the wedding they deserved. Mama didn’t care where the two of them got married just as long as it happened. I know the most important thing about getting married is pledging your eternal love and commitment to each other but there was no way I was going to allow my parents to make that pledge during some backyard countrified ceremony. Instead, I planned a mid-day wedding in the Rose Garden of the Botanical Gardens followed by a reception at the Ambiance.
By the end of the day, Mama and I had almost every detail of the wedding worked out. The only thing we didn’t find was a dress for Mama that we both agreed upon. I wanted Mama to have something made especially for her so I called Marcella Cantrell, a friend of mine from Spelman. Marcella was a struggling fashion designer that could make a tablecloth look like a Vera Wang. I gave her Mama’s measurements and told her to create something beautiful.
I was too tired to drive home, so I opted to spend the night with Mama. I thought I would get one of her good home cooked meals, but instead she handed me the phone and told me to call Dominos. I ordered us a medium veggie supreme and a small order of hot wings. We sat in front of the TV stuffing our faces, while watching the ten o’clock news. I can’t remember the last time I watched the nightly news. There never seemed to be anything on, other than death and depression. I use to only watch for the weather forecast but now I don’t even depend on that. Meteorologist are only guessing when they give the forecast, it doesn’t matter how many radars or graphs they use. I figured that one out when our local weatherman predicted sunny skies and a high of 89, and we ended up with a foot of snow in the middle of April.
I bit into another wing while partially listening to the skinny blonde sitting behind the anchor desk, giving the latest news.
“Police have released the identity of a young woman, whose body was discovered this morning. The woman has been identified as nineteen year old Natasha Montgomery.”
I dropped the half eaten wing on my plate, when a picture of Sasha appeared on the TV screen. She was smiling, holding a little boy who looked just like her.
“I know her.” I whispered, sitting my plate down on the coffee table.
“What?”
I ignored Mama, while picking up the remote control. I turned up the volume and continued to stare at Sasha’s picture on the screen.
“Montgomery’s body was discovered in her Valley Bend apartment, by a neighbor. Authorities suspect a possible drug overdose. An autopsy will be performed to determine the cause of death. At this time there is no suspicion of foul play. Montgomery leaves behind a one year old son.”
“In other news…”
I pressed the volume key again, turning down the sound. “You know her?”
“I met her.”
“When?” Mama asked, looking at me.
“Last night.” I was in shock. I had just seen Sasha, now she was dead.
“Met her where?”
“At the club where she works,” I said. “Where she use to work.”
“That’s a shame.” Mama said, clearing our plates from the table. “We’re here today and gone tomorrow.”
“She was just a baby,” she said, shaking her head. “A baby with a baby.” Mama left me sitting on the couch staring into space. I was trying to process the information the anchorwoman had just given. A drug overdose? There was nothing about Sasha that gave me the impression that she was into drugs. I know you never really know anyone but my first impressions are normally the right ones.
I kneeled at the side of the bed in my old room and said a prayer. I thanked God for my parents, my life, my health, and my strength. I thanked him for Shontay and even Damon. I asked him to bless Sasha’s son and her family wherever they may be. I said, “Amen”, and then climbed under the covers. I lay on my back in the darkness, unable to fall asleep. My thoughts shifted back and forth from my life to Damon to my parents back to Damon. I thought about Sasha and all the things she would never get to experience and all the times she would never get to share with her son. My thoughts were interrupted by my cell phone vibrating loudly on the nightstand beside the bed. I rolled over on my side and looked at the caller ID. It was Beau. I hadn’t spoken to him all day and I wasn’t in the mood to talk but I picked up anyway.
“Hello.”
“What’s up, Ma?”
“Nothin’ much and you?”
“Chillin’.” He inhaled, deeply then exhaled. I could tell he was on the other end of the phone getting high.
“I wanna see you.”
“I’m already in the bed.” I don’t know what it was but something about hearing his voice at that moment annoyed me.
“Why don’t you let me come by and join you?”
“I’m really tired.” I felt no need to explain that I wasn’t at home, because it was none of his business. In fact even if I had been at home I wouldn’t have let him come over.
“I saw the news.” I said, changing the subject.
“Me, too.”
“They found Sasha dead?” I asked the question as if he had just reported the information to me.
“That’s what they say.” He said, nonchalantly. He inhaled then exhaled again.
“That’s awful.” I said, picturing Sasha’s pretty face.
“That’s life, Ma,” he said. “We’re born. We live. We die.” He was telling the truth but it was the way he said it that further agitated me.
“Does she have any family here?” I asked “What about her mom and dad?” I paused, then asked,
“Who’s going to take care of her son?”
“Hell if I know,” he snapped. “What are you…the damn police?”
“I was just asking.” I snapped, back. “You don’t have to get an attitude.” I was officially pissed off.
“Why you so concerned about that hoe?” He asked. “It’s obvious she wasn’t concerned when she was taking hits.”
“And as far as her Mama goes... you can check the corner of 10th and 12th for her because the last I heard she was up north on the hoe stroll.”
“And her dad…well that nigga could be any trick on the east side of Buffalo.”
“As far as her son goes... the lil’ nigga ain’t m
ine, so I don’t give a fuck what happens to him.” Beau was cold and callous. I decided I’d had enough of him.
“Look I’m tired.” I said, faking a yawn. “I need to get some rest.”
“Yeah, you do that.” He said, calmly. “I’ll holla back.Night, Ma.”
“Good night.” I put my phone back on the nightstand, and then rolled back over. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head. It didn’t work. There was a new thought clouding my mind, I was thinking it was time for me to cut Beau off.
Chapter 20
Saturday I decided I needed a little rest and relaxation, so I treated myself to a trip to the Terrame Day Spa. I started with a facial, followed by a seaweed wrap and a full body massage. If I was into girls, I would have taken the pretty Vietnamese chick who gave me my rub down, home with me. That’s how good she made my body feel. When she finished; kneading and rubbing my body I felt completely revived. After my massage, I got a fresh manicure and a pedicure. Once the top coat dried on my nails, I paid Minh then left the spa.
It was still fairly early so the flow of traffic wasn’t heavy yet. That’s one of my favorite things about living in a smaller city. You don’t have to worry about forty-five minute waits on drives that should only take you ten minutes. I’m not saying during lunch hour or rush hour you won’t run into a delay but it’s nothing compared to the traffic you have to deal with in ATL or Los Angeles. I rode along I-72 listening to the R Kelly’s greatest hits CD, Scar made me. Track 5, Sex Me, flowed through my speakers. I sung along with the R. while occasionally checking my rearview mirror. The car behind me had been riding my bumper for at least a mile. I tapped my breaks then redirected my attention to the road ahead. They eased off for a split second then started tailgating me again. I was not going to let one inconsiderate asshole on the interstate ruin my good mood, so I checked my mirror to make sure the right lane was clear, put my signal on, and then got over. If he or she wanted my spot in the lane that bad they could have it. I waited for the car to pass me but it never did. Instead they got over behind me and continued to ride my ass.
I tapped my breaks again. The car slowed down but then started tailing me again.
