by Todd, Ian
‘Is it what you expected?’
“Nope,” she’d replied, laughing.
Efter checking the patient’s dressing, the patient hid taken her by the haun and nodded fur Senga tae sit.
“Mrs Crawford...Alison, Ah’m really sorry aboot whit Ah said oan Sunday aboot the newspaper story. Ye wur right tae be annoyed. Oh, and by the way, it wisnae aw bad that time Ah wis whisked aff through the night by the Social Worker tae a strange hoose. The people who looked efter us wur lovely and kind, so they wur. Two things still stick oot in ma mind. When we goat put tae bed, they put us in the same bedroom. There wur two single beds. Wance the door shut, ma wee brother wis across that room and in beside me like a whippet. Ah’m no sure whit it wis that they covered us up wae...some sort ae big thick fluffy blanket...bit Ah kin still remember how saft and warm it felt. Before that, they gied us a glass ae milk and the maist fantastic biscuits Ah’d ever tasted in ma life. Ah’m no sure whit the biscuits wur, bit ever since, Ah’ve always harassed that ma ae mine no tae buy the cheap ginger snaps, bit tae go fur the McVities wans. They’ve never matched the taste ae the ginger wans Ah goat that night, bit Ah’ve been a ginger-snap gal ever since. None ae ma pals will eat them and think Ah’m weird, so they dae,” Senga hid said.
‘Homemade is always far superior to anything you’ll get out of a packet,’ the pad hid replied.
“And another thing...Johnboy Taylor no fancying red heids?”
‘Yes?’
“Ah’m no that convinced deep doon. None ae the boys who originally came fae the Toonheid...Tony Gucci, Joe McManus, Paul McBride and Johnboy, hiv ever shown any interest...well, any romantic interest, towards any ae the lassies that originated fae the Toonheid wae them. The boys who we hing aboot wae and who come fae Springburn, urnae interested in the Springburn lassies either, bit ur always trying tae get aff wae us Toonheid wans. Is that no weird? The only wan that’s different is Silent, probably oan account that he disnae say much, well certainly no tae us lassies. He speaks in amongst the boys though...well...every noo and again, he dis. He wisnae born in the Toonheid. He appeared in the Toonheid oot ae the blue wan day, when he wis a wee boy, wae Paul McBride and he’s been aroond the place ever since. He disnae hail fae Springburn either, so he’s oan the make aw the time, trying tae get aff wae baith the Toonheid and Springburn lassies. He dis no bad, because aw the lassies think he needs mothering, so they dae. He’d be a psychiatrist’s pet dream, so he wid, if they could get intae that heid ae his. We’ve aw heard snippets aboot whit he gets up tae wae the rest ae The Mankys, although that’s something Ah widnae want tae go intae.”
‘Do you think he might prefer the same sex?’
“Whit, Silent? Ur ye jesting? When he’s no oot and aboot, getting up tae nae good, he spends aw ae his time trying tae get intae everywan’s pants, so he dis. Whether ye came fae the Toonheid or Timbuktu, Silent wid be in there like a rat up a drain pipe, so he wid,” Senga hid scoffed, laughing.
‘Have you told your friend, Pearl, about your thoughts on Johnboy and his aversion to girls with red hair?’
“Naw, bit if Ah’m honest, Ah suppose Ah’m hauf hoping that Ah’m right aboot the red hair and aboot the boys no being attracted tae us lassies that wur aw born in the same place as them. Pearl’s situation probably gies me a bit ae hope in that someday, Johnboy might take notice ae me as a lassie and no as part ae the crowd. Listen tae me...Ah sound like something oot ae the Sound Ae Music, so Ah dae,” Senga hid said embarrassed.
‘Perhaps they see you more like sisters?’
“Aye, well, that’s a possibility. Ah wance heard Johnboy Taylor spouting aff that if he ever goat married it wid be tae somewan mair exotic than a Glaswegian. When wan ae the boys asked him why, he said, ‘Whit? Hiv ye never met any ae they mental sisters ae mine?’ It’s the end ae the night that always gets tae me. Seeing him heid aff, aw happy, wae The Mankys or some lassie, ignoring ma presence, wishing he’d jist let Pearl know wance and fur aw that he wisnae interested. Ah’ve confronted him aboot body-swerving me in the past, bit he denies everything, which makes me feel even worse fur making a fool ae masel. Why is he no interested in somewan like me? Why kin he no see that Ah love him?”
‘Oh Senga, I’m so sorry,’ the pad said, as the patient looked intae her eyes.
Senga hid sensed something wis aboot tae happen. She’d looked aboot the room tae see if anything wis oot ae place, bit the room looked the same as it hid oan Sunday. They’d sat, avoiding catching each other’s eyes and no saying a word. Senga hid felt tense, bit didnae know why. The patient hid suddenly started tae write oan her pad.
‘I’ve got something for you,’ it hid said.
“Oh, er, Ah’m sorry, Mrs Crawford...Alison...bit we’re no supposed tae accept gifts fae patients.”
The patient hid waved her objection away and hid slid open her bedside cabinet drawer and lifted out a cellophane packet. She’d then written oan her pad before haunin the packet tae Senga.
‘I sat up all last night, writing, and then rewriting this. I would appreciate if you and your friend could perhaps get this Miss Dandelion, the journalist, to use this in her column,” the pad hid said.
“Whit is it?” Senga hid stupidly asked, as the pen began writing again.
‘Of course, it would be great if the article wasn’t too damning,’ the fast scribbling ae the pen oan the pad hid continued, while the eyes ae the patient questioned Senga’s.
“Oh, Ah don’t know whit tae say,” she’d replied, feeling the package.
‘Don’t say anything,’ the pad hid replied.
Senga hid then jumped up aff the bed.
“Shit!” she’d yelped, looking at the watch oan the chest ae her uniform. “The deadline fur this week...Ah’m sure Pearl said it wis sometime in the efternoon the day. Ur ye sure, Alison?” she’d asked, as the patient nodded, tears running doon her face.
“Look, Ah’ll hiv tae go. Ah’ll try and get back and let ye know if it’ll be used...if that’s okay wae yersel, that is?” she’d asked.
It hid been a mad dash. Senga hid tried phoning Pearl at The Echo, bit hid been telt she hidnae turned up fur work by that boss ae hers. Senga hid nae choice bit tae go and inform Sticky Fingers that she wis suffering fae diarrhoea, knowing she wid be sent hame. Efter getting the bus up the road, here she wis, sitting in her uniform watching a sleekit cat and a daft budgie playing dare games wae each other.
“Senga, whit ur ye daeing here?” Pearl asked, looking exactly like somewan who’d been lying in her bed aw day.
“Trying tae save ye fae getting the sack, so Ah am,” she retorted.
“Well, ye kin furget it. Ah’ve jacked in ma job. Ah couldnae staun being wae that bitch wan mair minute, so Ah couldnae. Ah swear tae God, Ah don’t believe in violence, bit how Ah didnae swing that cheeky stuck-up cow roond the office by her dyed hair roots, God only knows.”
“Well, furget that, we’ve mair important things tae be getting oan wae, so we hiv. Look at the wee present Ah’ve goat fur ye,” Senga said, taking the wee packet oot fae under her cape.
“Ye’re kidding me,” Pearl squealed, an astonished look covering her coupon.
“Hey, they don’t call me Flo the Nightingale withoot a lamp fur nothing, ye know.”
“Christ...so, whit dis it say?”
“Ah’m no sure. Ah hid a wee peek oan the bus oan the way up, bit Ah felt as if Ah wis intruding, so Ah put it back in the packet. Hiv we still goat time tae get it tae yer pal, the boss?”
“Oh, Christ. Ah think we’re too late. Ah think five o’clock is the deadline, so it is. We’d never get it doon tae the bottom ae Hope Street by five o’clock, so we widnae,” Pearl wailed in desperation, looking at the clock oan the mantelpiece.
“Look, why don’t we try. We kin phone fae the phone box oan Keppochhill Road before nipping oan a thirty two tae take us in tae the toon. Whit dae ye think?”
“Hing oan, Ah’ll wash ma face,” Pearl shouted, as she disappeared.
Chapter Sixty Three
Mary wis puzzled, intrigued and angry aw at wance. She’d nipped through tae file her column wae Dandy, who’d barely gied it a second glance before he passed it oan tae his assistant, who also looked like she’d jist stepped oot ae a garden.
“Right, Ah’m aff up tae the fruit market at Blochairn,” he’d said, withoot even a wee thank ye or a well done.
When Mary hid gone back tae her office, there wis a note sitting oan her desk saying that Pearl Campbell wis oan her way and she wisnae tae leave until Pearl arrived. She looked at the clock. Hauf past five. She’d gie the wee ragamuffin another ten minutes and that wis it. Mary hid never sacked anywan tae their face before. She wis kicking hersel that she’d missed the call. It wid’ve saved little Miss Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep the bus fare...and Mary the hassle ae hivving tae make eye contact wae the wee toe-rag. Benson hid phoned earlier, offering tae gie her a lift up the road, bit she’d telt him that she wis waiting tae sack Little Red Riding Hood in person.
“Right, well, don’t go getting yourself upset, Mary. I won’t be home until later as I’m going for dinner with the Chrysler Executives who are coming in from Linwood. Don’t wait up.”
“Miss Marigold?”
“Pearl? Ye’ve arrived...and wae a friend in tow, Ah see,” she said, taken by surprise.
“Aye, this is ma good pal, Senga. Ah think ye might’ve spoken tae her oan the phone earlier, so ye did.”
“Oh, aye...and you’re a nurse? Ah see...the student nurse!” Mary exclaimed, the penny suddenly drapping.
“Aye, pleased tae meet ye. Ye look exactly as Pearl described ye,” Senga said.
“Aw good, Ah hope?”
Silence.
“Right, er, well, look, grab a seat...the baith ae ye. Ye didnae turn up fur work the day, Pearl. Kin Ah assume that, er, ye might hiv something fur me, even though the deidline fur the column wis four o’clock and Dandy his went aff in search ae fruit and nuts?”
“The deidline’s passed fur the early edition fur the pubs the night, Miss Marigold, bit there’s still plenty ae time fur the morning edition,” Pearl reminded her, eyes shining wae excitement.
“Of course...of course there is, Pearl. Aye, Ah’m wae ye noo, hen. And you…we…hiv the social worker’s story?” Mary asked, licking her lips and trying no tae faint wae excitement.
“Er, well, aye and naw,” Pearl replied.
“Look, Pearl, we either hiv or we hivnae. Which is it?” Mary demanded, spreading her hauns, as she looked fae wan tae the other.
“It aw depends oan the terms, Miss Marigold,” the student nurse said.
“Terms? Whit terms? Ah thought this wis between me and Pearl? We never spoke aboot any terms,” Mary replied, eyes narrowing.
“Oh, there’s always terms, Miss Marigold. Ye said it yersel. Ye said the paper wid pay a fortune fur this story...remember?” Pearl declared innocently.
So, that’s whit the wee cow wis efter, Mary thought tae hersel. Fuck, everywan up oan the tap landing wis probably away hame or oot at their clubs. Shit, shit, shit! So, this wis whit it wis like tae be blackmailed, she thought. And fae a wee bloody carrot heid and a student nurse as well.
“And here’s me thinking that the nursing profession wis aw aboot caring fur people,” Mary sneered.
“Oh, it is. Please don’t get me confused wae, er, some ae the forked tongues that hing aboot in a place like this…like a bad smell,” Senga said pleasantly, crinkling her nose, bit clearly up fur hivving a go.
“So, whit dae youse want then?” Mary asked, feeling sick as a parrot oan the wan haun and aboot pishing hersel wae excitement oan the other.
“Don’t look at me. Aw Ah’m trying tae dae is whit Ah get paid fur. It’s Senga ye’ll need tae talk tae, so it is,” Pearl replied, as Mary turned tae the uniform wae the red crossed bands haudin her cape thegither.
“So, Senga?” Mary asked her, in whit she hoped wis her friendliest and warmest voice.
“Three things, non-negotiable.”
“Oh, and whit wid they be, hen?”
“Pearl here is guaranteed her job fur at least a year and a day fae when she first started. If ye don’t like whit ye’ve goat efter that time, then ye kin get shot ae her, bit no before then,” Senga started aff wae, as Pearl looked at her pal astonished.
“Done,” Mary said, gieing Pearl a wee wry smile.
“That ye don’t destroy Alison Crawford wae the usual pish that comes oot ae this building. Whit she’s written, his tae be contained within the column itsel.”
“Nae chance! Ma bosses up the stairs wid hiv a hairy fit, so they wid. Ah don’t know if Pearl his telt ye, bit Ah’m no the flavour ae the month aboot here, so Ah’m no,” Mary shot back, feeling her anger bubbling tae the surface.
“Keep tae the column and the next time Ah’ll try and get ye a face tae face interview up at the hospital, so Ah will. That’s a promise,” Senga shot back.
Silence.
“And the third?”
“Ye interview and dae a spread oan Helen Taylor, the wummin who’s staunin tae be a cooncillor up in Springburn, in next week’s paper,” Senga replied, calmly and quietly.
“So! Ye wur lugging in tae ma telephone conversation wae ma sister-in-law efter aw, Pearl? How could ye? And here’s me thinking Ah hid yer loyalty and trust,” Mary scowled accusingly.
“Dae we hiv a deal?” Senga asked quietly.
“Ah’ll guarantee Pearl her job, bit that’s aw. Ah don’t hiv the power tae agree the other two,” Mary replied, desperation in her voice.
“Right, let’s go, Pearl. The Evening Times office is jist alang in Gordon Street. Let’s see whit they’ll offer us,” Senga said, as the baith ae them stood up tae leave.
“Wait! Wait a minute...gie me time tae think...Ah need a second or two,” Mary panted, reaching fur her fags as she felt the sweat running doon between her bra cups.
Mary looked at Pearl who wis avoiding eye contact wae her. Whit wis she tae dae? She couldnae remember where Benson said he’d be fur his meal. She looked at Pearl’s pal, staunin there, fascinated, wae her cape wae the red straps crisscrossing her chest. She looked like an angel who meant business. How the hell hid she ever goat hersel intae aw this shit?
“Ah’ll meet the cooncil candidate wummin, bit Ah’m no promising tae dae a story oan her unless Ah’m convinced she’s worthy ae it. Fae whit Ah’ve read, she comes across as a right hard nut, especially if ye’re a poor Corporation worker. Ah’ll meet her before next week’s deadline and take it fae there. Ye cannae ask fur any fairer than that,” Mary said, pleading.
“That sounds fair enough tae me, so it dis,” Senga replied.
“So, hiv we goat a deal then?”
“The story? The column?”
“Christ knows how Ah’m gonnae dae it...bit Ah’ll try.”
“Naw, Miss Dandelion. This is important. The story his tae be contained within yer column and be based oan whit Mrs Crawford his written doon.”
Silence.
“And ye’ll try and get me a proper interview?”
“As soon as Mrs Crawford sees whit ye’ve written up, Ah’ll raise it wae her, so Ah will. She’s no expecting anything tae be glossed o’er. She jist wants tae gie her side ae the story insteid ae aw the lying dribble that yer paper and aw the other wans hiv been churning oot every other morning.”
“Then, Ah think we’ve goat oorsels a reluctant deal, miss, er?”
“Why don’t ye call me Senga? Everywan else dis,” Senga said, smiling, as she produced the packet oot fae under her cape and haunded it across tae Mary.
“This conversation and agreement stays within this office, so it dis. Ah’ll get back tae ma sister-in-law and let her think the interview came fae her. That’s non-negotiable, so it is.”
“Sounds good enough tae me,” Senga replied, wae a shrug ae her shoulders.
“Ah don’t know where ye goat yer negotiating skills, hen,
bit Ah bet it wisnae at nursing school,” Mary said, snatching the packet oot ae Senga’s haun.
Senga looked across at Pearl and nodded tae her that it wis time fur them tae disappear. Pearl’s boss hid awready ripped open the packet and wis clearly engrossed in the contents ae the patient’s papers. They’d jist reached the door oot oan tae the landing when they heard the cough behind them.
“And where dae ye think ye’re gaun, Pearl?
“Oh, er, Ah’m jist heiding up the road wae Senga. Why?” Pearl replied, looking at her pal.
“Well, get that wee ginger arse ae yers back here. Ye’ve goat work tae dae, so ye hiv,” Mary said, turning back tae the sheaf ae papers she’d spread oot oan her desk.
Chapter Sixty Four
“Charlie!” Helen shrieked, bolting upright in her bed.
“Whit the… Charlie? Who the fuck’s Charlie…eh?” Jimmy snarled, looking aboot the bedroom, bewildered, expecting tae be attacked at any second.
“Nothing, go back tae sleep, Jimmy,” Helen soothed, ignoring his panic.
“Ur ye bloody nuts or whit? Whit time is it?” Jimmy growled, peering doon at the clock beside him and groaning.
“It’s nothing. Ah wis hivving a bad dream, that’s aw. Sorry.”
“Ma whole bloody life is a bad dream, so it is,” Jimmy growled, flopping back oan his pillow and turning o’er, drawing the blanket up tae his chin.
Helen tip-toed oot ae the bedroom, picking up her electric fire oan the way. Efter putting the teapot oan the gas ring, she lifted a fag oot ae her packet and lit up. She hidnae meant tae gie Jimmy a fright, especially at hauf three in the morning. She couldnae believe how stupid she wis. Helen hid been upset aboot poor auld Charlie and hid been worrying aboot him jist before she’d crashed oot oan tap ae her bed the night before. She picked up her cup ae tea and fags and heided through tae Johnboy’s bedroom. Wance ensconced there, wae the two bars oan the fire radiating their heat, she sat collecting her thoughts. Christ...the diary. How could she hiv been so bloody glaikit. Helen held up her haun, stretching oot her fingers. They wur trembling uncontrollably. She stared at the surface ae the milky broon liquid in her cup. The vibrations across the surface reminded her ae the water in her basin when the gas board wis oot digging up the road wae a pneumatic drill during the gas leak oan Christmas day. Why hid Charlie never mentioned a diary? She popped two aspirins intae her mooth and washed them doon wae a sip ae her tea. Her headaches hid been getting worse, bit she’d found that if she could try and anticipate when she thought wan wis coming oan, the sharp throbbing pain wisnae as bad as it wid be withoot awready hivving taken the pills. Jimmy hid recently started hassling her aboot gaun tae the doctors, and it wis usually the first thing he asked when he came hame fae his work.
