by Todd, Ian
“Ah still think ye’re making a mistake. They’ll turn oan ye, the way they dae wae everywan else. Build ye up tae knock ye doon. That’s their motto, so it is. If ye think ye’re any different, then ye’ve another think coming, so ye hiv.”
“Jimmy, Ah’m no biting, so Ah’m no. And anyway, when did you become such an expert, aw ae a sudden?”
“Ah’m jist saying...she’ll destroy ye, the same as that other pair ae tadgers did in The Echo and The Citizen. Christ, ye must be a glutton fur punishment,” Jimmy replied, picking up the plates and putting them intae the basin in the sink before re-joining her.
“Did ye no read her story oan that social worker who goat shot?” Helen asked him, instantly regretting opening her gub.
“That wis a put-up job, so it wis. That wis jist the wans wae money helping oot other wans wae money, so it wis. It’s aw a class thing, or hiv ye furgoatten that as well?” he replied, haunin her a lit fag.
“Jimmy, before we go any further...don’t try and educate me oan class distinction or ye’ll end up wae that frying pan o’er there bouncing aff ae that thick skull ae yers, so ye will,” Helen threatened, taking a puff ae her fag.
“Ah’m jist saying...why invite mair trouble tae yer door when ye’ve goat mair than enough tae last ye a lifetime, eh? It disnae make sense tae me, so it disnae.”
“Aye, well, if sense ruled ma life, Ah widnae be sitting here wae somewan like you, noo, wid Ah?”
“See you, ye’re something else, so ye ur,” he laughed.
Helen looked at him. She wanted tae burst intae tears and gie him a hug. She’d fallen in love wae Jimmy Taylor the moment she’d first clapped eyes oan him. He wis honest tae a fault, baith in opinion and actions. She knew fine well that his love fur her wis unreserved. She wis aware aboot how disappointed he wis wae the boys turning oot the way they hid. He loved the lassies dearly, bit he’d always wanted tae be close tae the boys. Fur him, hivving boys should’ve been aboot gaun tae the fitba oan a Saturday efternoon, or gaun fur a pint wance they turned eighteen. Charlie wis long gone and Johnboy hidnae darkened the door since he’d stayed the night efter being let oot ae borstal oan Hogmanay. She knew he wis hurt by Johnboy’s lack ae visibility although he widnae bring it up in conversation. Helen always suspected that he blamed her fur that. Helen hid been in charge ae bringing the weans up while he’d been oot working, driving wagons up and doon tae England. It hid been doon tae her tae lay doon the dos and don’ts wae the boys. She remembered wan time when Johnboy, who could only hiv been aboot four or something, hid come running up the stairs tae the hoose screaming the place doon. He’d been stung by a wasp while he wis playing wae his pals doon oan the dykes in the back court. When he’d come flying through the kitchen door, howling, Jimmy hid swiftly goat aff the chair and bent doon tae pick him up. Johnboy hid done a quick body-swerve that wid’ve made a rugby coach proud and hid run tae her, grabbing oan tae her apron. She remembered the hurt look oan Jimmy’s face. He never said anything, bit she’d always remember that disappointed, hurt look. Jimmy wisnae like her ain da. Jimmy couldnae be gruff fur mair than five minutes while her da wis opinionated and always hid a stern expression oan his face whether the sun wis shining or no.
“So, whit’s yer plans the day, as if Ah cannae guess?” Jimmy asked.
“Ah’m heiding up tae Susan Flaw’s tae prepare fur ma meeting wae Pearl’s boss the morra. Why?”
“Oh, nothing.”
“So, whit aboot you?”
“Ah’m gonnae nip doon tae Soiled Sally’s and put up they shelves she goat aff the back ae a lorry.”
“Well, make sure ye don’t take anything aff ae her fur daeing it. Ye know whit she’s like.”
“Aye, aye, don’t worry. If she offers me anything Ah’ll tell her tae put it towards yer election fund.”
“Jimmy, ye’re starting tae get oan ma tits, so ye ur.”
She lit up another fag. She could hear Jimmy rummaging aboot in the cupboard in the lobby where he kept his tools. She waited, knowing whit wis coming.
“Aw, fur Christ’s sake! Hiv you been messing aboot wae ma tools again?” he shouted.
Helen smiled. Issie’s man, Tam, wis daeing a homer fur somewan and hid been roond earlier in the week tae borrow some ae them. She hidnae been interested in whit he wis efter so she’d telt him tae jist go and help himsel.
“Tam wis roond earlier in the week,” she shouted.
When Susan hid first telt aw the lassies that she’d set up a meeting wae the journalist that hid done the story oan the social worker, aw the lassies hid been thrilled. Helen hid soon put a dampener oan everywan by declaring that there wis nae way she wis gonnae be talking tae any journalist efter the last two assassinations she’d goat in the papers. At the same meeting that Susan hid announced her news, Helen hid explained the background tae her aunt Jeannie and how she’d gone up against JP and goat gubbed by his cheating, ducking and diving. Betty, Issie, Ann, Soiled Sally and Sharon could remember Jeannie as they wur roond aboot the same age as Helen and they’d aw gone tae the same school as Helen, although they’d never actually been involved in Jeannie’s campaigning.
“Christ, Ah furgoat aw aboot yer auld aunt Jeannie,” Issie hid said.
“Ah’m telling ye, girls. If ye think Helen’s as mental as a twisted tit, ye should’ve clocked that aunt Jeannie ae hers. Hell oan legs, so she wis,” Sharon hid hooted, accepting the jotter fae Elaine.
“Ah take it that that wis supposed tae be a compliment, Sharon?” Helen hid asked drily, as everywan laughed.
“Listen tae this...it says here that the wummin are the key. Get the wummin oan side and the men will usually follow,” Sharon hid quoted, looking up fae the diary.
“Ye mean, dae as they’re telt,” Ann hid said, tae mair laughter.
“She says here that it’s important tae nurture the wummin. Ye’ve tae take yer time tae explain why it’s so important fur them tae cast their vote. Meet wae the wummin when it’s convenient fur them and no jist fur the candidate,” Sharon hid continued.
“Aye, her and the other wummin who wur involved in her campaign used tae go and meet wae the wummin in the efternoon when their weans wur at school and the men wur oot at work, if they hid a job. Ah kin remember they used tae make big pots ae soup and trail the container aboot in the efternoons oan her wee bogey, roond the different parts ae the Toonheid, a couple ae hours or so before the school bells went aff,” Helen hid added.
“Christ, that’s a brilliant idea, so it is. We could dae that, so we could,” Soiled Sally hid suggested, getting nods fae the auld wans roond the table.
“Listen tae this. ‘Avoid the priests. They’ve already chosen their man...and it won’t be you. If ye kin, try and identify their congregation so ye know who they ur. These parishioners’ tactics will be tae keep the volunteers ae the opposition candidate talking oan their doorsteps. The longer they kin keep ye talking, the less doors ye’ll be able tae get through oan an efternoon or evening.’ The fly gits, eh?” Jemima hid shouted, efter the diary hid been passed oan tae her.
“Yes, that’s a tried and tested tactic,” Susan hid said, smiling.
“Susan, ur ye sure ye don’t want tae share anything wae us noo?” Sharon hid asked her, laughing.
“Unless ye’re well connected, stay well clear ae the press. Like the priests, they’ll hiv awready chosen their man,” Jemima hid continued, turning a page.
“Well, it’s funny you should have read that out, Jemima. I spoke with my sister-in-law, who’s a journalist on The Glasgow Echo, and she’s agreed to meet with Helen with the possibility of featuring her in her new column next week,” Susan hid said, blushing.
Silence.
“A journalist? Fae The Glesga Echo?” Helen hid asked, as aw eyes turned tae Susan.
“Er, yes. She’s the one that wrote the article about the social worker in this morning’s paper,” Susan hid said hesitantly, before the room erupted.
“Ya bloody beauty, so ye ur, Susan,” Sharon hid shoute
d, taking Susan’s heid in her hauns and landing a big kiss oan her foreheid.
“Take that, JP, ya auld weasel, ye,” Issie hid whooped, punching the air.
“Stuff that up yer arse and smoke it!” auld Mary Flint hid squealed in pleasure.
“Ur ye okay if Ah put the kettle oan again, Susan? This calls fur a celebration, so it dis,” Ann hid declared, heiding fur the sink wae the kettle.
“Ah knew that wan wis gonnae come good, so Ah did...despite her first week’s writing being shi...er...rubbish,” Betty hid chimed.
“Why, whit did she write aboot?” Nan hid asked.
“Ach, some useless crap aboot whit aw the wummin in Scotland should be wearing...if ye’ve goat the money, that is,” Betty hid replied.
“Whit’s wrang, hen. Ye’re no saying much?” Sharon hid said tae Helen.
“Er, look, Ah think that’s brilliant, Susan, bit there’s nae way Ah’m gonnae go and talk tae a journalist. No efter whit that Bradley wan wrote at the launch. Christ, Ah kin remember exactly whit Ah said...and whit Ah didnae. Ah’m sorry, bit that’s oot ae the question, so it is,” she’d retorted tae the stunned, silenced group.
“Bit, dae ye no think this is different, Helen?” Ann hid asked.
“Aye, Ah mean, it’s Susan’s sister-in-law,” Mary hid chipped in as everywan nodded.
“Aye, tell her, Susan,” Elaine hid demanded, as everywan looked across at the minister’s wife.
“Oh, er, well...”
“Susan, ur ye saying that Ah’ll get a fair shout then?” Helen hid asked her.
“Is that Pearl ae yers no working beside her, Sharon? Whit’s Pearl saying aboot her?” Betty hid asked, before Susan could reply.
“Oh, Ah’m no sure Ah should get involved,” Sharon hid replied.
“Why?” a chorus ae voices hid asked.
“Because ye aw know, Pearl. She blows hot wan minute and cauld the next.”
“So, whit’s that supposed tae mean then?” Soiled Sally hid asked oan behauf ae everywan.
“Well, fur a start, she says, er, sorry, Susan, that her boss is nothing bit a hauf boiled egg fae Dennistoun who’s forgotten her roots and where she came fae.”
“Meaning?” Nan hid asked.
“She’d steal the gold fillings oot ae her ain granny’s mooth and then come back fur her false teeth, so she wid,” Sharon hid replied, embarrassed, looking across at Susan apologetically.
“Look, I can’t vouch for Mary’s values, but as a journalist, I believe she would be fair with Helen. She did say that she would meet with Helen, without giving any assurances that she would even do a story. I believe that it would be up to you, Helen, to convince her that what you’re attempting to do, would have a positive impact on the people of Springburn. Yes, I think she’s quite tough, but like you all, she’s had negative experiences at the hands of authority...particularly the male kind,” Susan hid replied.
“Hmm, Ah don’t know. The thought ae me volunteering tae get ma arse kicked isnae something Ah’m used tae,” Helen hid murmured thoughtfully.
“Look, why don’t ye think aboot it and we’ll take it fae there, eh?” Betty hid suggested.
“Aye, and Ah’ll speak tae Pearl and find oot whether she’s tae be trusted or no,” Sharon hid volunteered.
“Here’s another wan fae Jeannie that ye’ll aw recognise, so youse will. ‘Every poster that his been put up, his been torn doon. Charlie is keeping a score oan the shortest time a poster stays up or hasn’t been plastered over. Fifteen minutes is the record so far.’” Ann hid read, looking up fae the diary.
“Dae ye know who the Charlie is that they’re talking aboot? Charlie Mann. Kin ye believe that?” Helen hid said tae them aw.
“Oor Charlie?”
“The very wan. And that reminds me, Susan. Is there any way Donald kin find oot where he is? Ah’m really worried aboot him,” Helen hid asked, explaining the situation.
“Yes, that won’t be a problem. As a minister, the hospital will release the patient’s details,” Susan hid reassured her.
“Right then...the plan...here’s whit Ah’ve been thinking, based oan Jeannie’s experience, as recorded in her diary. Noo, don’t jist aw sit there silent. Jump in and add tae it. Bit, first, put up yer haun if ye went oot and voted the last time?” Helen hid asked them.
Everywan hid sat and looked at each other, before the four auld wans...Bess, Elaine, Geraldine and Mary Flint slowly raised their hauns, looking sheepish.
“Whit dis that tell us?” Helen hid asked them.
“That only the auld wans vote?” Betty hid volunteered.
“Maybe, bit whit else?” Helen hid asked.
Silence.
“Susan?” Helen hid asked her, joining aw the heids that hid swivelled in her direction.
“That not only is it more likely that the older generation will vote, but that there’s a whole swathe of traditional non-voters,” Susan hid replied.
“And why dae we think that is? Nan, why dae ye no vote?”
“Fur the same reason as you. It won’t change anything,” Nan hid replied.
“Exactly. Nothing will change...or at least...that’s whit people like us hiv been led tae believe because ae people like JP who’ve hid a monopoly oan the decision-making process in the city fur donkey’s years. Nothing will change because people like JP ur happy that people like us don’t vote. It means they kin target aw their ain pals and pals ae pals tae get behind them, so when they dae go oot and vote, nowan bit them turn up. Christ, it’s like a stroll in the park, when ye staun back and think aboot it, so it is. That’s whit Jeannie is shouting at us fae the diary, so it is. She’s telling us that if we sit back and dae nothing, then nothing will change. She’s saying we need tae fight fire wae fire and get oot there and get tore right intae them, so she is.”
“Bit we’re awready oot there daeing that, so we ur. Ma poor feet kin testify tae that,” Sharon hid retorted.
“Aye, we ur, bit we’re trying tae compete wae JP's crowd fur the same people who ur trooping up and doon the street who, if they dae go oot and vote, will mair than likely vote fur JP. Dis that make sense?” Helen hid asked the blank faces, noticing a smile in Susan’s eyes.
Silence.
“Issie, sorry fur bringing this up, hen, bit remember when we wur up claiming a grant fur poor Joe’s funeral expenses?”
“Aye?”
“The place wis heaving wae people. Next door in The Burroo wis the same. Christ, the queues wur hauf wae doon the drive, so they wur.”
“If ye're thinking whit Ah think ye're thinking, then furget it,” Issie hid said.
“Why?”
“There’s nae way in a month ae Sundays that ye’d get somewan like that big Mary Pickford and that wee Dan ae hers oot ae the door tae vote...unless ye paid them fur their time, that is,” Issie hid said wae authority.
“Maybe, bit everywan isnae like them. That place up there is hoaching wae people, wummin like us, whose interests will never get represented because ae whit Nan his jist said. Bit, whit if people, aw the wummin, actually thought…believed…wur convinced that if they did vote, then things could change fur the better?”
Silence.
“How many people up there in they queues, being shunted fae pillar tae post, ur still hivving tae use ootside lavvies in this day and age? How many live in damp infested hooses that belong tae The Corporation? How many ae them hiv hid a warrant sale, or the threat ae wan hinging o’er them as The Corporation dae the dirty work oan behauf ae the tic companies who’re making a bomb fae The Corporation’s tenants? Surely there’s something no right aboot that. How many ae them hiv been telt tae fu...er, piss aff, when they’ve tried tae get something done aboot the state ae the back courts when the middens hiv been overflowing and the weans hiv been playing in amongst used sanitary towels and shitey nappies? Where ur the safe play areas fur the weans? Unless people ur happy fur the weans tae cross some ae the busiest roads in the city tae reach Springburn Park, where ur they
expected tae play? How many people dae we know that hiv been bitten or been woken up by a rat or something worse, running across them when they’ve been in their beds at night? Aw the people that we stood beside in the queues up there hiv aw, and ur still, suffering fae the same wan-sided stacked deck that wis operating when we wur weans. Christ, nae wonder wummin like us don’t vote. Naw, if Ah’m putting masel forward tae represent the people who’ve been oan the receiving end ae JP and his sticky-fingered cronies since time began, then there’s nae better place tae go than up tae the NAB and The Burroo and at least hiv the decency tae ask them tae consider voting fur me. How many ae these so-called politicians ur still sitting oan their fat arses doon in George’s Square, who wur there when we wur snappers, eh? People might no gie a toss aboot politics, bit whit if we gied them a chance tae get their ain back by gieing JP a boot in his auld scrawny hee-haws?"
“How many, Helen?” Geraldine hid asked.
“How many whit?”
“How many ur still aboot since we wur weans?”
“Eh? Er…Ah don’t know, bit Ah’ll bet ye a pound tae a penny that the younger wans who’ve taken o’er fae the auld basturts who’ve died through gluttony oan the job ur aw related or connected tae the wans that went before,” Helen hid panted.
“It’s funny ye should say that. Ah know at least three current cooncillors, whose faithers and grandfathers sat as cooncillors in the same wards as them years ago,” Elaine hid said.
“Ah’m telling ye, it's aw corrupt, full ae men who wur in the unions, the masons or the Boys Brigade thegither, who’ve been running the show ever since.”
“So, whit ur ye saying, Helen?”
“Aw Ah’m saying is that we hiv tae start targeting everywan who his tae go cap-in-haun up tae The Burroo tae sign oan or the NAB. The chances ur we’ll know hauf ae them anyway. As far as JP and his crowd ur concerned, they’re aw losers anyway. We’ve goat aboot a week tae get oor act thegither. We aw know whit the issues ur. Ah widnae think there’s anywan in this room who isnae capable ae gieing it a right good shot. Whit dae youse think?”
“Is there no a danger here ae gieing people hope? Whit if ye get elected and there’s nothing ye kin dae tae alter people’s situations, Helen?” Nan hid asked.
