Chapter Twenty-Three
The split-second of relief that Lily felt at Christian’s acceptance of her mission was quickly dampened by the snow. As soon as they kicked their horses to run as fast as they could through the few inches of accumulation, the wind picked up. The moderate snow flew down in heavier and heavier sheets. Lily was chilled to the bone in no time. She hunkered low over her horse’s back, feeling its uneasiness along with her own.
As they rode on, the real fear that they would be trapped in the snow and freeze to death gripped her heart. What had started off as an essential mission had spiraled into dangerous futility. If anything happened to Christian, she would never forgive herself. It was her fault he was exposed to the elements.
At last they rounded the hill before Sturdy Oak’s place and saw the indistinct shapes of houses rising up out of the swirling snow. Lily held her breath as her horse plowed forward through drifts that were calf deep and into a sheltered space between the buildings. When she was convinced they had reached their destination and weren’t going to die alone in the cold, she cried out in wordless relief.
“Over here!” Christian shouted through the whistling wind.
He walked his horse closer to the side of the buildings where snow was not drifting and jumped down. His hat was covered with white and snow stuck to the bristles of his beard. He led his horse up the path between the houses, Lily following, until they reached the main house. As Lily dismounted, he checked the front door.
It opened without a problem. Lily’s relief was so strong she wanted to weep, but her tears froze to her face before they could be shed. Christian kicked the door all the way open, then led his horse inside. Stunned, Lily only stood gaping for a moment before doing the same.
“They’ll freeze if we keep them outside,” Christian explained once they were all in the house with the door closed. “And I’m not in the mood to find the stable and put them in there.”
She nodded, shivering uncontrollably with more than just the cold. Her horse snorted and shook its head as if it agreed with him too.
“We need to build a fire,” Christian went on, leaving his horse where it was to cross to the room’s large fireplace.
The inside of the house wasn’t frigid, like the outside, but no fire had been lit in the grand fireplace for days. Lily dropped her horse’s reins and rushed to help Christian in whatever way she could. There was still a huge stack of wood next to the fireplace as well as kindling and matches. It didn’t take long for them to light a fire, but it would need to blaze for a while to warm the entire house.
With the specter of an icy death chased away, Lily’s fear for her friends returned. Still in her coat, hat, scarf, and mittens, she searched the room.
It was still, untouched, as if her friends truly had vanished. Amos and Jimmy had led her to believe that she would find chaos and signs of a struggle. Instead the house was in perfect order. The floor was swept clean, the table and counters in the kitchen were spotless, and the dishes were all neatly stacked in the hutch beside the counter. There were even blankets draped neatly over the back of the lone sofa where Sturdy Oak liked to sit. The chest that held boots was open and the boots were missing, but that was as close to ransacked as the house came.
The eerie neatness of it all sent Lily’s pulse soaring. She walked the room, touching the furniture as she looked for clues as to what had happened. A few things were missing—the woven blanket Martha loved so much, the tapestry that had decorated one wall, Sturdy Oak’s pipe and tobacco bag, all of the books—but so many other things were right where they had been the last time she had seen them. Nothing made sense.
With no more clues waiting in the main room, she dared to open the door to Sturdy Oak’s bedroom. It was just as orderly, the quilt covering the bed smooth without a wrinkle in it. But when she checked the wardrobe beside the bed she found it empty. The feel of Sturdy Oak’s spirit had left the place.
“Lily!” Christian called from the main room. “You need to see this!”
Heart racing with the strangeness of it all, Lily rushed back into the main room.
“What?” she asked. “Did you find something?”
He handed her an envelope. “It was sitting on the mantle over the fireplace.” His face was grim and chapped with cold and his voice was serious.
Lily tore into the envelope, pulling out a single sheet of paper. “It’s from Snow In Her Hair!” she exclaimed. “Dear Singing Bird,” she read. “If you are reading this, as I know you will be, then you have discovered that we have gone. I cannot thank you enough for all that you have done for our children, for the care you have shown them and the battles you have fought for them. My heart can find no words to thank you for your friendship. It is enough. Sturdy Oak has decided that the danger is too great, that opinions are too firmly set against us, for our family to stay here. We have been happy in Cold Springs, near you, near your Mr. Avery, but the time has come for us to move on. We leave behind these houses so that someone may find them and build the life we were never able to build. Live in peace.”
Lily choked with tears at the end of the letter. She couldn’t go on. Christian took the letter from her as she sank into the chair beside the roaring fire, face in her hands.
“It’s signed by Snow In Her Hair and River Woman, and it looks like some of the children too.” Christian lowered the letter and let out a breath. “Lily, I’m so sorry.”
“They’re gone,” she wept. “They were my friends and they’re gone. They didn’t even say goodbye.”
He sank to his knees in front of her, dropping the letter and taking her hands. “Knowing Sturdy Oak, they probably left in too big of a hurry for anyone to say goodbye, in person at least. But Snow In Her Hair knew you would come looking for them. She knew you were a good friend and left you the letter.”
His kind words, the affection he showed as he stroked and warmed her cold fingers with his, only made Lily weep harder.
“What have I done?” she whispered through gulping sobs. “I forced those children to stand up for things that I believed, not them. I used them as warriors in my battle.”
“They shared that battle too,” he assured her, laying his hand on the side of her face. His palm was warm and rough against the tender skin of her cheek.
She shook her head, brushing him away. “No, I don’t deserve your kindness, Christian. I put Sturdy Oak’s people, I put children in an untenable position. They were reviled because of me, and they felt they had to leave a home where they were happy because of me!”
“No, sweetheart.” He shook his head, pulling her forward so that he knelt between her knees and wrapped his arms around her. “You have the biggest, fiercest heart of anyone I’ve ever known. Sturdy Oak’s people stood up for their rights because you inspired them, not because you forced them.”
“But the damage is the same.” She took in a shuddering breath, leaning against him to keep from falling. “I acted without thinking, considering only what I wanted. Just like I did with the academic games. Like I did with you.” She straightened to meet his eyes.
A wistful smile tickled the corners of Christian’s mouth. “You weren’t the only one acting without thinking, sweetheart.” He brushed the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. “But if thinking first would have kept me away from your arms, then I don’t want a single thought in my head for the rest of my life.”
Her heart swelled and twisted in her chest. “But I’ve been so reckless. I brought you out here in the middle of a blizzard! I’ve put my life and yours in danger for a futile cause!”
“Love is never futile, Singing Bird. You care about people so hard that Mother Nature had to send a blizzard to get in your way.”
She laughed at the image, even though it made no sense, then leaned into him and hugged him for all she was worth.
“I feel like such a fool,” she moaned, resting her head against his. “No, I don’t!” She pulled away just as quickly, meeting his eyes with renewed fear
. “This is a blizzard, Christian! Where are Snow In Her Hair and River Woman and their people? What if they’re caught out, like we almost were? And my students. Were they all at school when the weather took a turn? Are they all right?”
“Sssh,” he hushed her, coaxing her to lean against him again. “I’m sure they’re fine. The school is close to town, so if they saw they weather getting bad they would send them home or keep them safe. And Sturdy Oak knows more about Montana and its fickle weather than anyone. They probably knew the storm was coming for days and took shelter somewhere safer than anyone else. No, we’re the only fools who would go charging out in a snowstorm.”
She let out a breath and squeezed her eyes closed. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he whispered. “You’re fiery and bull-headed and don’t listen to anyone else, and I love you more and more for it every day.”
She burst out with something between a laugh and a sob. “I was going to say the same thing about you.”
“Then we’re a matched set,” he said, pressing his cheek against the top of her head. “We deserve each other.”
Lily let out a grim laugh and squeezed her eyes shut. Christian held her and she held him, for how long she didn’t know. All she wanted was to be with him, to be in his arms. In her whole life, the only place she had ever truly belonged was in his arms. The fire crackled behind them, but it was the warmth of the love she felt radiating from him that warmed her.
“Now come on,” Christian said at length, pushing back from her and brushing away the last of her tears. “Those horses are starting to look jealous. We should take care of them and find them some water before they kick us out into the blizzard.”
Lily laughed, but the weight of the guilt she still felt hung over her like a blustery snow cloud. Christian lifted her to her feet, kissed her forehead and then her lips, then turned to see what could be done about the horses.
The storm continued to rage outside as the two of them found old rags to serve as brushes to rub down the horses. There was nowhere for the animals to stand but in the house’s one main room. They were as tired and anxious as Lily was, but far more patient as they were cared for.
The afternoon ticked by. The windows were white with snow, revealing nothing of the world outside. Chills of fear slithered down Lily’s spine every time she looked out a window. They had come close, so close, to catastrophe because of her foolishness. By the time the sun began to set and the white of the outside world faded to gray and then black, she had vowed to herself never to do anything impetuous again.
Christian spent most of the afternoon minding the fire and trying to get the pump in the kitchen to work so that they could have water without the hassle of melting snow. The pump was frozen. How he got it working was a mystery. Once it was working, however, and once the stove had been lit, Lily managed to scrape together a few things that Snow In Her Hair and River Woman had left in the pantry to make a simple stew.
“It’s good,” Christian told her as they sat at the large table, the horses eyeing them from the other end of the room.
“It is not,” Lily sighed. She set her spoon down. “I can’t cook.”
He laughed. She sat straighter, half in surprise and half in indignation. His eyes danced with mirth as he finished chewing and swallowed.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “I can cook as good as anyone after years of bachelorhood.”
“Why didn’t you ever marry?” she asked, then bit her lip over the outburst.
His smile grew. “Because every single woman that ever looked my way just grinned and simpered and tried to drown me in sugar sweetness and homemade pies.”
“Oh?” She arched an eyebrow.
“Yes. I can’t stand cloying women.” He stood, reaching out a hand to her. She took it and he pulled her to her feet. “But I love a good challenge.”
“You love to argue, you mean.”
Whether it was the food or the warmth that now permeated the room, or simply the mischief in Christian’s eyes, Lily’s worry began to thaw. In the middle of a blizzard, miles from home, she felt safe.
“I do,” he confessed. He slipped an arm around her waist and yanked her against him. “I love a lot of other things too.”
“Like what?” Her heart thundered against her ribs.
“Like a woman who calls me out in public.” He kissed her, nibbling on her bottom lip.
“You provide ample opportunity for that,” she told him when he let her take a breath.
“I like a woman who doesn’t think I’m right all the time,” he went on.
“Curious, since you think you’re right all the time.” She traced her hands up his arms and rested them against the back of his neck, toying with the hair at his nape.
“I like a woman who puts me in my place,” he said, voice dropping to a rough growl.
“And I know exactly where that place is.”
She kissed him, rising to her toes and nudging his head down to meet her hungry lips. He responded with such eagerness that her body sang with excitement.
“I like a woman who kisses me,” he continued. His hands splayed on her waist, reaching up to cup her breasts. “And I like a woman who knocks on the door in the middle of the night because she wants to go to bed with me.”
“I’m sure it happens to you all the time,” she breathed, her lips hovering inches from his.
“Strangely enough, it’s only happened once.”
“Is that so?”
If there was a door, she would have been knocking on it right then.
“Do you like a woman who wants to feel your mouth on her breast?” she murmured, slipping her hands under the collar of his jacket.
He let go of her long enough to shake his jacket off. She pushed his suspenders over his shoulders.
“In fact, I do,” he growled and reached for the buttons of her bodice.
“And do you like a woman who wants to feel your hands between her legs? Your fingers stroking?”
“Very much.” His eyes blazed as they held hers. He spread the front of her bodice wide as she lifted the hem of his shirt out of his pants.
“What about a woman who wants to reach into your trousers to hold your….” Her eyelids fluttered down.
“Cock?” he filled in the word for her. “She’s my very favorite kind of woman.”
He stepped back long enough to tug his shirt over his head and throw it on the table. Then he took Lily’s hand and led her back through the main room and into the bedroom.
“I thought we should continue the discussion in here,” he said, sliding her blouse off of her arms.
In spite of his words, the discussion was forgotten. All Lily could think about was getting out of her clothes and him getting out of his. They helped each other—and got in each other’s way—as piece after piece of clothing was shed and dropped. The bedroom was still chilled, so as soon as they were both naked they climbed beneath the covers.
In a flash, they were hotter than the sun. Lily sighed at the press of Christian’s body over and along hers. He was so much bigger than her, so much firmer in every way. His abdomen pressed against hers, sending tremors through her. His thighs nestled between hers, and she moved her legs apart and along his, tracing her toes along his calves. His arms were strong and tender as he stroked a hand up her side, over her breast, and along the length of her own arm, lifting it above her head.
With every movement he kissed her—light, soft kisses and deep, searing ones. His mouth was familiar to her as the wind and pulled the air from her lungs just as effectively. She sighed aloud as he kissed her jaw, traced his tongue along the slope of her neck, and nibbled his way down to her breast.
“Is this what you want?” he asked, then closed his mouth over her nipple, suckling her.
The soft, wet pressure and the rough scrape of his tongue against her sensitive flesh was heaven itself. She closed her eyes and writhed under the pleasure he gave her. Every kiss and lick and nip sent pulsing wa
ves of liquid heat to the part of her that wanted to spend its whole life filled with him.
“I love your body,” he hummed, kissing his way back up to her neck while his hands claimed the curves of her hips. “I’m not supposed to say that about a lady, but it’s true. I love your body and I want to do things to it that would make a good woman blush.”
“I want you to do them,” she sighed. “I want you.”
He laughed, a low, possessive sound that made the hair stand up all over her body.
“That’s another thing I love in my woman. She wants the same things I do.”
He lifted her hips high off of the bed and thrust into her at an angle that had her gasping in surprise. He filled her slowly and completely. She sighed at the sensations he created as he plundered her. His strength alone held them up, even as she wrapped her legs around his waist and encouraged him to thrust faster. His strength had held her up so many times without her even knowing it. He was everything to her.
His thrusting became more insistent and he gripped the headboard to keep himself balanced. The tongues of cold air that snuck between the sheets as the bedclothes slipped further down Christian’s back were as exciting as a touch. Lily felt her body respond to the stimulation, her nipples hardening and her skin tingling, as she gripped the sheets beneath her. The impossible sweetness of Christian’s thrusts, igniting all the right places inside of her, carried her near to the bursting point.
As she tipped over into waves of light and pleasure, she cried out, unchecked. She didn’t want to pretend anymore, no longer wanted to act the role of stoic miss. She moaned with all the abandon Christian deserved to hear, letting him know how much his body thrilled her and how deeply his heart touched hers.
He responded with a matching cry of approval and passion. Moments later, his cry pitched to a gasp as he came inside of her. Knowing that he had spent himself for her filled Lily with a deep satisfaction. Gone were her worries over propriety or image. This man who had just come apart in her arms was hers in every way.
She smiled as he relaxed, lowering her back to the bed and stretching at her side. They both panted, exhausted with the force of their love.
In Your Arms (Montana Romance) Page 28
