I’d been able to arrange for us to ring the bell for the opening of the day’s trading. It was something I thought Hallie would get a kick out of, but like most other things lately, she didn’t seem particularly excited about it.
On the morning of the offering, we stood on the famous podium below the bell.
“You want to ring the bell?” I asked Hallie as we waited for the exchange to open.
“You should do it,” came her quiet reply.
Excitement and energy filled the room as the day of trading got ready to open. I was with Hallie and the IPO team, all celebrating the fruition of a goal. When the moment came, I pressed the button that rang the bell, and a flurry of noise and activity began as the traders on the floor began to call out.
I’d worked hard for this day, but I found myself not able to focus on it or enjoy it as I should with the uncertainty about Hallie never far from my mind. Why couldn’t I just tell her how I was feeling and ask her to stay? Probably because the few times I’d started to, she brought up her parents and house, and finally being able to provide for them. I admired how dedicated she was to them, and I couldn’t get in the way of that.
“You must be thrilled,” Dave said as we all flew back to Virginia after the opening. “Sloane Labs made over two-hundred million today.”
“I can’t wait to put it to good use,” I replied. I was happy, even as I was torn inside. Not about the money. No, the money would go into research and development to find ways to prevent and cure disease. But it put me one step closer to losing Hallie.
I had a long history with women. I’d respected all of them and cared for many. But what I felt for Hallie had me feeling unsettled and nervous. Usually, by this time in a relationship with a woman, I felt ready to move on. With Hallie, I was desperate to find a reason to keep her close. A few weeks back - on the trip home from Seattle - I’d told her we needed to continue our fake marriage a little longer after the opening so as not to impact stock prices. Of course, except for the investors we saw during the dog and pony shows, most people didn’t know I was married and wouldn’t notice if I divorced.
She accepted my idea that we’d need to carry on the charade a bit longer, but something in her demeanor had me feeling guilty about it. I’d agreed to build her home, and she was eager to get it done and care for her parents. I was keeping her from that.
When we arrived back in Virginia, I considered driving her to her house so she could see that work had already started. In fact, according to Gabe, it was nearly completed. But I was too selfish to do it knowing that once I did, she’d leave and our fake marriage and our pretend life together would be over.
So instead, when we got back home, I held a private celebration with Hallie, having every intention of telling her my feelings. We had champagne and made love. It was the perfect moment to tell her how I felt, and yet I didn’t. Why? Why couldn’t I say the words I was feeling in my heart?
As she lay in my arms, it occurred to me that as long as we were in this fake marriage, a deal was hanging over our heads. I had to complete my side of the arrangement, pay my debt, and only then could I ask her for a new arrangement. One in which we weren’t fake, and there was no business deal. That meant the sooner I ended the fake marriage and finished her house, the sooner I could tell her how I felt and ask her to stay with me.
The next morning while she was getting ready for work, I called Gabe to find out how much longer the house would be.
“What’s the hurry? Don’t you like having her with you?” Gabe asked. I could tell he was at the house as there were construction sounds going on behind him.
“I do like having her here. That’s why I need the house done.”
“When the house is done, she’ll leave. Isn’t that the deal? I could draw this out and keep her with you.”
“You’re a good brother, but I don’t want to coerce her. As long as we have this deal hanging between us, she can’t really be mine. I need to meet the terms of our arrangement, and then I can see how she feels about me.”
“She loves you, man. Even I can see it. We all can.”
I couldn’t, “I can’t move on until this deal with Hallie is done.”
“Understood. By the way, I’m thinking of charging you copyright fees for stealing my grand gesture. I fixed up Sam’s house to win her back.”
I rolled my eyes, “You fixed her house for your TV show.”
“Well yeah, but finishing all the house to her book specs, that was love, man.”
“Can you get it done so we can move on, you know, fucking forward?” I loved my brother, but right now, I didn’t want small talk or chitchat. I wanted the house done so I could move on with Hallie.
“Actually, we only need a few more days. A week maybe. It’s probably time to bring her here.”
I heard movement in the house. Not wanting her to overhear my conversation, I told Gabe, “I’ve gotta run.”
Once off the phone, I finished getting ready for work, and then Hallie and I went on with our day as usual. Except again, something had changed in her and all of a sudden, I wondered if I was foolish for falling for her. Before, she’d seemed aloof and a little distant. Today, she was cool toward me as I drove us to work, and we went about our work. I couldn’t determine if she was angry or just having a bad day.
I decided it was time to ask her about it, so I called her into my office, “Is everything alright? You seem a little out of sorts today.”
“No. I’m fine,” but she said it in a clipped voice that suggested she wasn’t fine.
“You sure? Are your parents alright?”
She turned away and swallowed like she was gathering her strength, “I’m fine, Nate. They’re fine. I’m just ready to get my home fixed so I can take care of them.”
I felt a stab in my heart. She was ready for this farce to be done. She was ready to move forward with her goal. She was ready to leave me.
“In fact, I’d like to stop by and see them this afternoon since I didn’t get a chance to when we got back from New York yesterday,” she said, rising from the chair she was in.
I nodded, feeling like each moment ticking by I was losing her. “Of course,” I said as I stood and came around my desk, wanting to get closer. I rubbed her arms with my hands, wanting to embrace her but feeling the wall she had erected between us. Feeling desperate, I cradled her cheeks with my hands, “I’ve enjoyed being your husband, Hallie.”
She stared at me like she didn’t know what to make of my statement. Why the fuck couldn’t I just tell her I loved her?
She managed a smile, “I’m glad I could help.”
My heart fell to the pit of my stomach as my fears were realized. This was just a business deal for her. I released her.
“Enjoy your time with your parents,” I could hear the total lack of emotion in my voice. The words were like ash on my tongue. I watched as she walked out of my office and closed the door quietly.
“Fuck!” I handled that all wrong. I had to tell her the truth. If she didn’t feel the same then at least I’d know for sure, all of this waiting and wondering was going to drive me to the loony bin. I rushed out of my office to hers.
“She’s left to check on her parents,” Clair said as I looked in Hallie’s office.
Jesus, that was fast.
“Do you want me to call her and tell her to come back?” Clair asked.
I shook my head and returned to my office, “No, thank you.”
“Mr. Sloane? Is everything okay with you and Hallie?”
Christ. Could she see the change in us too? “Just fine,” I replied as I walked into my office, knowing I needed to do something and quick.
“Mr. Sloane?” Clair’s voice came from my doorway.
“Yes.”
“Your lawyer is on the line.” Why she didn’t call me on the phone about that, I didn’t know. Perhaps she was worried about me, which meant I wasn’t hiding my unease about Hallie very well.
“Thank you,” I too
k a breath to calm my nerves. I’d make a plan to woo Hallie later. For now, I needed to deal with business.
Be Careful What You Wish For
Chapter Sixteen: Be Careful What You Wish For
Hallie
“I can’t move on until this deal with Hallie is done.”
I hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but I was glad I’d overheard Nate tell whoever he was talking to that he was ready to be done with me. It hurt, but I needed to hear it because I was too easily hoping we had something more than a business deal.
I wasn’t sure who he was talking to. It must have been his lawyer or maybe Gabe as they were the only two who knew of our fake marriage.
My heart split in my chest as I heard those words. It told me that I’d failed in keeping hope about a future with him from existing. I’d told myself that he wasn’t a man to settle down, and yet, a part of me had continued to hope that maybe I was different. That he had feelings beyond lust and friendship.
“I can’t move on until this deal with Hallie is done.”
Clearly, that wasn’t the case.
After hearing him utter those words, I went to my room and wept. Finally pulling myself together, I did my best to act normal, but I failed at that as well. Nate called me into his office later in the morning, asking if I was okay. No, I wasn’t okay, you big dummy, I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him what an idiot I was for falling in love with him.
He asked about my parents, which I understood to be my cue that it was time to refocus. The IPO was done. In fact, because of the lockout period, no one who bought stock could sell it for 180 days, so only new stock sales might be affected if Nate’s “marriage” ended. That assumed anyone knew about it. The reality was, except for work and the initial investors from the dog and pony shows, no one knew. There was no reason now for me to stay with him. No reason to pretend to be married. It was time to move on.
I told him I wanted to see my parents, which of course he agreed to. Then he told me he enjoyed being my husband. At first, I wanted to latch on to his words as a sign that I meant something to him. But quickly, reason and reality took over. He wasn’t saying he wanted to keep on being my husband. No, he was thanking me for helping him.
I left his office, returning to mine for my purse. I told Clair I was off to visit my parents, and then got out of the building as quick as possible.
I was planning to go straight to my parents’ home but then decided to go to Nate’s. There was no reason for me to be there anymore. I might as well make it easy on both of us by packing up and moving out. I wasn’t sure what I’d tell my parents about moving back in with them, but they wouldn’t care. They’d likely just be happy to have me there.
I packed up all my clothes and belongings in the same bags I’d brought them there in. I took the house key off my chain and set it on the kitchen table, trying to hold back the tears as memories of the first time he’d touched me on that table flooded my brain.
I was nearly out the door when I remembered the rings. I removed the beautiful engagement and wedding rings and set them next to the key. I wondered if I should leave a note. What would it say, though? This had been a business deal. My end of the arrangement was done, and tomorrow, once I had my head on straight, I’d talk with him about meeting his end. I was sure he would because despite his not loving me, he was a good man whose word I could trust. Plus, he’d indicated he was going to follow through.
“I can’t move on until this deal with Hallie is done.”
I had to pull over to the side of the road once because my tears were too much to keep driving. Then I had to stop at a store to get facial wipes to hide the fact I was crying from my parents. Cripes, I was a mess.
When I got to my parents’ home, my dad was resting while my mom was sitting on her sunporch reading. As mothers did, she sensed something was wrong, but thankfully didn’t push me on it. When I asked if I could stay there again, she said of course and hugged me. A mother’s hug couldn’t mend my broken heart, but it did help soften the fall.
I did my damnedest to push my pain away and focus on my family. I helped mom make dinner, not acknowledging the hurt that Nate hadn’t called or texted to ask where I was. He had to have gotten home and noticed I’d left. But of course, he knew where I was and that I wouldn’t be back because that was our deal.
“So where are you on your house?” my father asked when we sat down for dinner.
“I’m home again only for a couple of hours, and already I’ve overstayed my welcome,” I teased him.
“Hell no,” my father said. “But I know you love your home, Hal.”
“I do. I hope to start on the rebuild soon.” Or as soon as Nate could help me with the financial arrangements. “I’ve made a book with all my ideas. Do you want to see it?”
“Oh, I would,” my mother said. It reminded me of when I was a kid, and I’d show her a picture I’d made. She always acted like it was the greatest thing ever created.
I went to my room and got the book, then sat between them at the table. This was as good as time as any to talk to them about my idea of them living with me.
I opened the book, showing them some of the colors and patterns I’d wanted for walls and floors. I choked up a little as I showed them some of the samples Nate had helped me pick out.
“Are these shorter?” my father pointed to a few of the counters in the kitchen.
“Yes,” I inhaled a deep breath and took one of their hands in each of mine. “The reason for that is that I’m having it rebuilt to suit you too.”
My mother's brows drew together quizzically while my father frowned.
“When it’s done, I want you to come live with me. There’s a bedroom on the main floor, and there will be a ramp to the house. It will be built to be easy for you to cook, Mom—”
“We can’t live with you,” my father’s voice sounded agitated, annoyed.
“Why not?”
“We’re not invalids, Hallie.”
I could understand his annoyance. My father was a proud man who wouldn’t go gently into that good night. But just because he didn’t want to acknowledge that he was aging didn’t mean he wasn’t.
I squeezed his hand, “Of course not. But with mom’s MS, this would make it easier for her. We could look out for each other.”
My father’s eyes were still annoyed. My mother’s expression was kind, but I could see she was going to resist too, “You’re a wonderful daughter, Hallie, but we can’t intrude on your life. We have a place reserved at the Parklands when the time comes that we need help.”
“You won’t be intruding,” I insisted. The truth was, I needed them near me. If I rattled around alone in that house, all I’d do would be pine for Nate. I did this dumb deal to build my house for my parents. They were going to take me up on my offer no matter what.
“How will you ever get married if you’re living with your parents?” my mother asked.
I swallowed the tears that threatened again - some from pain and others from anger. I’d done this crazy fake marriage for them, dammit. “You don’t need to worry about that.” I released their hands and stood from the table, needing space to get my emotions in check.
“You need to live your life, Hallie, honey. Not take care of us,” my mother said gently.
“I want to take care of you. I love you.”
My father rose from his chair and wrapped me in his arms. “We love you too, Halliebug,” he said using my childhood nickname. “You’re a good daughter to think of us.”
Before he could add a “but” and give his reasons for refusing, I said, “This is how the house will be rebuilt whether you come to stay with me or not.” I took the book off the table and rushed to my bedroom, shutting the door hard enough that it rattled in the frame. I flopped on my bed and cried. Nate didn’t want me. My parents wouldn’t let me do the one thing I’d suffered heartbreak to give them. How did my life get so screwed up? Nate, that’s how. I should have never let myself fall for him. I shoul
d have never slept with him. Of course, I’d lusted after him when I was just his assistant, so maybe I should have never taken the job.
But I did, and now I had to suffer the consequences of those actions. My heart felt like it was tearing in my chest. How was I going to endure that sort of pain day after day working with him? How was I going to go back to acting like just his assistant? I’d let him worry about how he’d tell the staff we were divorced or maybe he’d tell them the truth. Either way, I’d probably come out looking bad. I’d be the woman who couldn’t hold onto Nate Sloane. Or the one who was willing to sell herself for a new house.
Clearly, it was time to start looking for a new job because I wouldn’t be able to endure any of it for very long. There was a knock on my door, and then it opened.
“Oh, honey,” my mother hurried in as quickly as her MS would allow her. She sat on the edge of my bed. “Your dad and I didn’t want to upset you.”
“It’s not you. At least, not all you.”
She pushed my hair back from my head, “Is it a man?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll kill him,” my father said from the doorway. That made me smile.
“Oh no, you won’t,” my mother made a face at him. “But maybe you could punch him in the throat.”
“He’s big,” I said.
“Don’t care,” my father crossed his arms defiantly.
“You know, honey, just because one man hurt you, doesn’t mean there isn’t someone else out there for you. You don’t have to give up and take in your old and ailing parents.”
“I wanted to you to move in with me before him,” I turned over and sat up on my bed. “I worry about you, even if you don’t. I want to do this.”
“It’s got to be too expensive,” my father said. “Your insurance won’t cover it, I bet.”
“That’s not a problem.” Of course, I wasn’t going to tell them what I’d done to secure the money. They’d be horrified. Not only had I agreed to a fake marriage, but I’d let the man, my boss no less, touch me, and I’d fallen for him. God, I was such an idiot.
Her Hero Boss Page 13
