by Garren, Jax
He ran his knuckle along his worst scar, the one that pulled up one corner of his mouth like a manic clown, and felt how the puckered, knobby tissue wrapped over muscle and bone.
Despite its faulty appearance, his skin still barricaded against infection, kept him warm and held his insides together, just like anybody else’s. Things he’d never appreciated before they were taken away. But his cheek didn’t register any sensations along that line as he touched it. His whole body was like that—feeling here, deadened there. The way it came in and out at random startled him sometimes when somebody brushed against him as he made his way through the common room or moved into line to fill a cup of coffee.
He had a hard time casually bumping into people, and he thought he was going to have sex like it was no big deal? And not just some hook-up, but sex with Jolie Benoit. Making love to that woman would be…it would be fucking epic, is what it would be. Sensation overload.
This was a problem.
If he ever wanted to have a sex life again, and gods, did he, he had to move past it. But Jolie shouldn’t have to put up with his mental shit. She was already putting up with his physical damage; it wasn’t fair to ask her to put up with more. He should’ve faced this before he met someone who mattered so much. But since the accident he’d never met a woman worth pushing himself for. It was always easier to just deny he had any feelings or needs.
At least, it had been until a feisty redhead showed up with a smile that turned him inside out.
He took a deep breath and pushed himself out of bed. No wallowing. Get up, get some food, say hi to friends. Have a normal day. If he could drag himself out of a hospital bed with swollen skin and no prosthetic for the “pleasure” of rolling up and down a hallway, he could get out of bed any day. Everything looked better when he got his ass moving.
* * *
Ten minutes later, Hauk was clean and in the kitchen scrambling eggs.
But he was not feeling better. Maybe it was paranoia, but he could swear he was getting sidelong looks and a little extra space from half the people who walked in. Breakfast made, he ignored the instinct to take it back to his room and hide, and instead brought his meal out to the common room. But after five minutes of terse nods from people choosing to sit anywhere but at his table, he decided he wasn’t being paranoid.
Then Brayden took three steps into the room, saw him and turned around.
That was it. Hauk chased him down the hallway and caught him by the collar. “Come have breakfast with me.”
“O-o-okay.”
Despite the acquiescence, Hauk held on to his friend until he deposited Brayden on the bench acro che >upss from him. “What did I do last night?” Hauk scooped more eggs into his mouth.
“Last night? Oh, uh, you took out some guys from Atropos and carried Jolie back home.”
Hauk paused. “I brought her here again?” Fuck. She hadn’t stayed. “Where is she now?”
Brayden’s sigh sounded relieved, as if this was an easy subject to talk about. “I thought she was with you still. At least, she was when we all left your room.”
Hauk raised an eyebrow. “All?”
“Yeah. Travis was worried about Jolie, so we—Tally and LaRoche and he and I—ambushed you.”
Hauk put his fork down. “Did everybody survive?” He hoped he was joking.
“Yeah! That sedative you had LaRoche make worked like a charm. Good call on you.”
Hauk took another bite. “Okay, so did everyone see? What’s the deal this morning?” He waved his hand around. A horrific thought struck him. “Did I hurt Jolie?” He’d never hurt her before. He hated not remembering what happened.
“Oh, no. She’s fine. We got her away from you and everything. And like I said, when I left she was sitting on your bed, looking all dreamy-eyed at you.” He gave Hauk the first smile he’d gotten all morning. “I hoped she’d stay, but I guess she went home.”
He wasn’t sure what Brayden meant by “dreamy-eyed” but it didn’t sound like a bad thing. Although Brayden sometimes had an interesting way with the truth; she might’ve been more like nightmare-eyed. “Why was Travis worried? Was she protesting or something?” Not that he’d blame her, but he hoped not. Jolie had assured him repeatedly she wasn’t afraid of him when he wigged out because he was “nice” to her.
She’d actually used the word “nice” and he’d about laughed his head off.
“No, Ash said she’d seemed surprisingly happy to be, quote, dragged off by an out-of-control lunatic, unquote.” Brayden stole a piece of bacon off his plate and took a bite. “She saw the fight, and I think you wigged her out pretty hard core. Sorry ’bout that.”
Hauk snorted. “Why does that not surprise me?” He smirked at Brayden. “‘Ash,’ huh? When did you start calling her that?”
“That’s what you call her. And hey, she’s justified with the wigging out, man. You’re freaky when you’re all rawr.”
“Is that what they’re calling it nowadays?” Feeling decidedly more relaxed, he took a sip of his coffee and scooped up the last of his eggs with toast. “So what’s got everybody else on edge? It’s not like this is the first time I’ve come home ‘all rawr.’”
Immediately Brayden tensed up again.
Hauk sighed. “Come on, Brayden. Just tell me. You know I can’t stand all this hush-hush shit.”
He frowned. “Okay, so, you know that stick drive from yesterday?”
Hauk nodded over another gulp of coffee.
“It’s full of video footage of you fighting. We think they’re using it as a training video.”
Made sense. Professional fighters studied their opponents when they could. “And?”
“Well.” Brayden slouched down, growing even more uncomfortable, if that was possible. “Travis was watching them to see if he could figure out why Ananke was trying cke ouched to hide them from us. And it sort of attracted an audience. People were cheering for you and everything. It was pretty awesome.” He drew a figure on the table and blushed. “I don’t think I realized how often you’ve saved my ass. Thanks, man.”
“It’s my job. So what went wrong?” It wasn’t like people didn’t know what he did. Did seeing it change things? He didn’t think his friends were that hypocritical.
Another big breath. If Brayden didn’t just spit it out, Hauk was going to consider shaking it out of him. But finally Brayden licked his lips, cleared his throat and said, “There’s a video of the fire.”
Hauk froze. “The fire? On base?”
“Yeah.”
His mouth went dry as trepidation clenched his chest. “And?”
Brayden bowed his head and there was pity in the gaze he shot up from under his shaggy black bangs. “You’re guilty, man. You went into a rage, killed those guys and set the fire. I’m sorry.”
Hauk set the coffee cup down before he squeezed it into broken shards. “Show me.”
* * *
Jolie frowned at the law firm across the street. Her jeans were tight, her shoes pointy and her T-shirt obviously not hers. She looked exactly like she’d spent the night at a man’s home. Which she had. And she was pleased with that. It wasn’t, however, the best disguise for getting into a law firm on a Saturday morning. But that’s where Ashley had gone (looking a little rumpled herself, Jolie had noticed), so that’s where Jolie needed to go.
She squared her shoulders and headed for the two-story Craftsman-style home that had been converted into the offices of McKey and Lancaster. Nobody was out and about in the quiet neighborhood. The small lot only contained three cars, Ashley’s and two others.
A window was open upstairs, likely taking advantage of the unseasonably warm day. God bless chaotic Texas weather. That entrance would be simpler.
The porch was easy to scale. After a quick glance inside to make sure no one was around, Jolie climbed into a conference room just as Ashley passed by the door, blithely on her way down the hall.
Jolie reached into the hallway, slapped a hand over the girl’s
mouth and hauled her inside the conference room. Ashley tried to struggle, but it was no contest, and soon she went still.
“Sorry to startle you,” Jolie said with a sly smile as she turned Ashley around and released her mouth.
Ashley sucked in a breath of relief. “You scared me to death! What are you doing here?”
Jolie propped a hand on her hip. “What did you take from Tally and LaRoche’s lab?”
Ashley dropped her jaw in surprise and closed it again. “What makes you think I did anything of the sort?”
“Other than watching you?”
She shifted uncomfortably. “What I’m doing isn’t your business, and you’re not supposed to be here.”
“Anyone stealing from The Underlight is my business.”
To Jolie’s surprise, the girl blushed. She’d expected Ashley to deny it; hell, Jolie halfway didn’t believe her own accusation. Ashley didn’t seem the stealing type. But that blush was as good as a confession.
Ashley lowered her voice. “I’ coicather. m not doing anything wrong. I’m trying to help. Everyone will be happier in the long run if you don’t mention you saw me and head on home, all right?” She appeared earnest. For a lawyer, Ashley seemed awfully innocent, with the kind of wide-eyed hopefulness that was hard to fake.
“Who are you helping?” Jolie asked.
“Wesley. Now please, leave before somebody finds you.”
“You still haven’t told me what you took.”
“That’s because you don’t need to know.”
Jolie snatched Ashley’s Coach bag off her shoulder. The girl was so shocked she didn’t put up a fight, just yelled “Hey!”
Jolie shook her head and opened the clasp. “And I thought I lived outside reality. What sort of windowless tower do you exist in? Can you even see the real world from there?”
“That’s mine.” Ashley reached for her purse, her voice growling as if Jolie had struck a nerve.
Jolie ignored her and extracted a vial. It took her a moment to realize what Ashley had done. Then she felt like she’d been punched. “Hauk’s sedative?” Jolie shook it at her as her anger built. “You stole the special sedative LaRoche designed for Hauk? Why would you do that?” Other than to kidnap him? Surely Ashley wouldn’t…
Jolie looked around the office again as Ashley straightened herself up as tall as she could.
“I thought you worked for the DA’s office,” Jolie said. “You came to somebody else’s office to deliver this.”
“Hand back the sedative and take a seat,” Ashley said, her voice surprisingly firm.
Jolie dropped the purse but clung to the vial. “You work for them. Ananke. You’re one of them.” She backed toward the window as the emotions blanked from Ashley face. “How could you do this to Hauk? He loved you. He might still—”
The door cracked open and a man poked his head in. “Everything okay in here?”
Ashley motioned for him to come in, her expression still eerily devoid of sentiment.
Unsure of anything anymore, Jolie ran for the window. She managed to get a leg over the sill before a big hand grabbed her from behind. She tried to wrench away but was hauled back in and tossed onto a chair.
Ashley held out her hand. “The sedative, please.”
“No.”
The guard pried the vial from her hands.
“And your cell phone,” Ashley added.
Jolie handed that over before the guard took the opportunity for an overly enthusiastic pat-down. She met Ashley’s gaze, hoping for some understanding or anger, anything other than the all-business mode she’d gone into. Sure, she hadn’t liked Hauk’s ex, but she hadn’t suspected this kind of treachery. It didn’t make sense. “What do they have on you? We can help. You don’t have to do this.” She glanced at the guard for a reaction, but like the most dim-witted of the Hands of Atropos, he appeared content to stand like a robot until called upon.
Ashley put a hand on her hip, finally showing frustration. “They don’t have anything on me, Miss Benoit. I joined Ananke while I was at Yale. An accomplishment I’m sure you could’ve had with far less effort if you’d cared about more than having a good cavihile Itime.”
“What, like world domination? Yes. I have fun. I also care about things, like stopping the crazy goddess-worshipping cult you joined from taking over the world.”
The crazy thing was, Ashley didn’t morph into some cackling super-villain who’d pulled one over on The Underlight. She stayed the same old sanctimonious brat as she waggled a finger and started a fucking lecture. “It’s not a goddess-worshipping cult. I don’t know what they’ve brainwashed you into thinking, but you—The Underlight—you are the bad guys. You steal things. You screw up court cases, forge documents… The Cincinnati branch sent a virus into the power company, turning off electricity in February. Your organization is just this side of a terrorist network. But I guess that’s more fun than doing actual work. You’re not good for Wesley. He needs somebody stable. If you hurt him—”
Jolie laughed. “Says the woman helping Ananke kidnap him? Are you kidding me?”
Ashley stepped forward, grimacing. “I don’t owe you this explanation, but on the slim chance you actually do care about him, I’ll tell you. Yes, I’m helping Ananke catch him. To help him.”
“They’re not going to help him. They hate Hauk.”
“I have no idea if you believe that or not, but regardless, you’re wrong. We can fix his skin and give him a prosthetic that doesn’t look like it’s made from clockwork scraps.”
“What’s wrong with clockwork scraps? Besides, they’ve offered him that already. He turned them down.”
Ashley smiled as if she were speaking the clincher. “We can also fix his rages.”
Jolie stopped. Catrina had a theory that the rages somehow stopped the tattoo from working. If she was right, and Atropos “fixed” his rages… “They’re trying to activate his tattoo.”
Ashley tilted her head to the side. “What are you talking about?”
She didn’t know. Jolie looked from the bruiser on her left to Ashley. It was possible the girl believed everything she was saying and really did want what was best for Hauk. She seemed plenty naïve enough to buy Ananke’s bullshit. If that was true, all Jolie had to do was convince Ashley that she was hurting Hauk and they could turn this around. She didn’t know how commanding Atropos worked, but if the guard recognized Ashley’s authority as a member of Ananke, he may not even try to stop them from leaving. This could be easy. If she just got Ashley to see reality. “The tattoos of Atropos. They marked Hauk with one.”
“Hauk has many tattoos. What’s important about that one?” She was actually listening.
“That’s what locks in the mind control.”
Ashley laughed. “Hypnotic tattoos? You don’t actually believe that, do you?”
Shit. How did this stupid woman not know about the tattoos or the goddess or, hell, what the organization was actually doing? “I’ve seen it. They use magic to turn people into mind slaves. This guy. Right here. Look at his wrist.” She pointed at the guard.
“Magic. Right. And then we slay the dragon and rescue the princess from the evil witch who locked her in a tower.” She scowled. “You should try listening to your father instead o cheras bf your anarchists. He deals in facts.” She took the vial from the guard. “Keep her here for an hour then let her go. If you hurt her, I’ll give your name and home address to her father, got it?”
The guard nodded.
Jolie sank back into the chair. “Fuck.”
Ashley raised an eyebrow. “You kiss your momma with that mouth?” On that line, she headed for the exit.
“Mother isn’t really the kissing type.”
Ashley stopped in the doorframe and turned around, anger sparking from her. “You know, Hauk has so much affection for you, and I’d really hoped you’d earned it. But you just keep rolling with the cliché, don’t you. Poor little rich girl didn’t get enough love, so now you strip
off your clothes and hang out with criminals. Anything to piss off Daddy and Mommy, huh?”
Jolie clenched her jaw as Ashley’s words cut through her. They weren’t true. They might’ve been true once, but not anymore. Jolie was more than that. The Underlight had given her a real purpose. “You don’t know anything about me.”
“I saw your type all the time in college—rich kids who came from everything, didn’t have to work a day in their lives, bored and searching for the next new thrill. But Hauk’s been through too much to be run over by somebody who’ll toss him out when the wind changes directions.”
“I won’t do that.” So yeah, her longest relationship was less than a year, but that didn’t mean it would always be that way. Jolie had it in her to go the distance with the right guy. She wasn’t some rich, selfish party girl with nothing else to show for herself.
Was she?
Ashley’s eyes dropped some of their hardness until she was almost pleading. “I know you’ll do what you please. You people always do. But if you can find it in your heart to leave him alone—”
Jolie’s voice dropped to a deadly growl. “Get out before I hit you, you bitch.”
Ashley straightened up as if affronted. “Fine.” She turned and strode out the door.
Jolie yelled after her, “You are a horrible, frigid person and I can’t believe Hauk ever had sex with you!”
Ashley yelped like a strangled puppy.
Offended, huh? Jolie hoped that straightened her uptight spine ’til it snapped. She tried to stand up, but the bruiser got in her way.
Dead end. She yelled down the hallway, “Hauk is never going to forgive you for this! You are handing him over and they are going to rape his mind!”
No response.
She had to get out of here and warn him. She tensed to stand.
“Sit,” the guard said, this time with a heavy hand on her shoulder.
She sat. She tried yelling one more time, not even su
re Ashley could hear anymore. “They’ve been trying to get their hands on him since he got back to the States. And you are handing him over. You fucking moron!” She put her head in her hands and screamed.
