by KA Sterritt
“Shit, Audrey. I’m really sorry he did that to you. I need to sort this out with him. It’s never going to happen between us. I thought he knew that.”
“Either way, I don’t want to be his consolation prize.” Tears welled in her eyes and I hugged her with all the love I felt for her.
“He doesn’t deserve you, Audrey. You deserve someone who knows you are the most awesome chick in the world.” I pulled back and looked at her so she could see my sincerity. “He’s out there, I know it.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in happy endings.” She wiped her eyes and tried to smile.
“Yes, well, you got me there. But I’ll make an exception for you. If anyone deserves a happy ending, it’s you.”
Audrey threw her hands in the air. “I’m over it. It’s Saturday night and I’m standing here sniffling over a man.”
“We should go out tonight,” I suggested. “How about you call that guy you met at the club last weekend?” I forced myself to sound enthusiastic. As much as I would do anything to help lift her spirits, I’d been kind of hoping for a quiet night in.
“Corey. I guess I could call him to see what he’s up to.”
“Right. Give him a call while I jump in the shower.”
Feeling infinitely better after a hot shower, I ventured out in my towel to find out if I could put on comfy clothes.
When I saw Audrey’s giddy smile, I already knew the answer.
“Tonight, we’re going north!”
“Okay, great.” I feigned excitement.
“Why don’t you see if Ryan wants to come? I really enjoyed his company that night we had dinner.”
“Okay. I guess I can see if he’s up for it.”
Ryan replied to my text almost immediately, saying that he would meet us there. He had a few things to take care of first.
Satisfied with my casual yet sexy outfit, I grabbed my journal and started to write. It was cathartic to explore my newfound feelings in the safety of my journal, where they could stay safely locked away.
Chapter Nineteen
We would ordinarily have caught the ferry to Manly but a cab was a much better option in the rain. The cab ride gave me a chance to fill Audrey in on my overnight stay at the Hummingbird. She was beyond thrilled but thought we were crazy for thinking we could keep things casual.
“The chemistry between you two is ridiculous,” she’d said, shaking her head.
The bar we were meeting at overlooked the ocean. The palm trees that lined the beachfront were reminiscent of the Hummingbird foreshore. I felt an ache in my heart when I thought of the time I’d spent there with Ryan. There was absolutely no way I could be missing him already. No freaking way.
Audrey went in first and I followed her, taking off our coats as we were hit with the warmth from the busy bar. It felt like every male in the room turned to look as we entered. They were no doubt staring at my gorgeous best friend. Whilst I had opted for a casual look, she was rocking skin-tight jeans and a beaded halter top that showed off her slim, toned arms. She never went anywhere in anything but heels so I was dwarfed by her. I was glad to be out of the limelight – I wanted her to be the centre of attention.
“Audrey! Over here.” A good-looking guy fitting Audrey’s description of Corey was waving us over.
As we got closer I could see he was standing with a group of his mates. My eyes locked with the guy standing next to Corey and my blood ran cold. Sam…
“You made it,” Corey said, pulling Audrey over to him. He kissed her on the cheek, which I thought was sweet. This was just what Audrey needed to boost her self-esteem after the Jason debacle. “These are my friends. Sam, Gavin and Vinny.”
Audrey introduced me and we all shook hands. When Sam took my hand, he looked me straight in the eye and held onto my hand. Audrey must have recognised Sam too.
“Oh, Sam. You were at the club last weekend too.” Then she stopped speaking. It must have suddenly dawned on her that I had left with him, making this situation potentially awkward.
“All of us were there,” Sam replied, still looking at me. “Holly and I are well acquainted.”
“Drinks!” Corey announced. “What are you having, ladies?”
“Bubbles, please,” we both replied.
Sam stood close to me. “Busy, huh?” I wasn’t quite sure if he was serious or joking.
“Um… Yes, I am busy.” I stared at my feet. “I had no idea you were friends with Corey.”
“Don’t look so stressed out, Holly. We didn’t even sleep together.” His eyes raked down my body and his hand gently rubbed my right arm. My body didn’t react in the slightest to his touch. “Let me know if you want to hook up again tonight.”
“Look, Sam. I did have a good time with you but I’m here for Audrey tonight. She needs me.”
We both looked over at Audrey and Corey. Audrey was in full flirt mode and Corey was clearly under her spell. He didn’t stand a chance.
“Doesn’t look like she needs you.” Sam smiled and smugly took a sip of his beer.
“I’m… um… kind of seeing someone.” I felt awkward saying it because it wasn’t really true. I wasn’t in a relationship with Ryan, we were just having casual sex. Sam didn’t need to know that though. The truth was, I only wanted to be with Ryan.
“Oh. Okay then. I didn’t realise you had a boyfriend.”
“Oh no. I’m just doing some work for him. He’s not my boyfriend. We’re, um…”
Sam raised his eyebrows. “You sure about that?”
Ryan’s imposing presence made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. His arm came around my shoulders and I was pulled possessively into his side.
“She’s with me.”
Sam held his hands up defensively. “Sorry, mate. No harm done. You can’t blame a guy for trying.” He offered his hand to Ryan, who shook it politely and introduced himself.
“So Ryan,” Sam said casually. “Holly here tells me she is working for you. She didn’t tell me your company.”
“Davenport Property,” Ryan replied, a little icily I thought.
“Really? So you’re Ryan Davenport then.”
Ryan just nodded. He was being rude. Sam was just being friendly and taking an interest.
“Excuse me,” Ryan said. He put his beer down and walked off towards the bar.
“Sorry about that,” I said. “I’m not really sure what his problem is.”
“I’m his problem.”
I shifted uneasily. “Well, I’m sorry anyway.”
“Don’t worry about it.” His hand gently rubbed my arm again. “If it doesn’t work out with Mr Personality, give me a call. Keen to hook up with you again anytime.”
Unfortunately, Ryan returned just in time to overhear that last statement. He looked thunderous.
“Can we go outside for a minute, Holly?” he asked, through gritted teeth.
“Um, okay. Sure.” I looked over to Audrey, who had also heard the whole thing.
“You okay, babe?” she mouthed.
I nodded, then followed Ryan outside. We walked in silence across the road and down the steps leading onto the beach. The small waves were gently lapping against the wet sand. Despite the cold, I hungrily breathed in the fresh ocean air. Knowing Ryan wanted to get something off his chest, I looked at him, ignoring the soothing view of the ocean.
“So what was that about?” I asked, breaking the silence.
“When did you hook up with Sam?” The question seemed to torture him.
I didn’t want to lie to him. “Look. I didn’t realise he was friends with Corey, or…”
“Or what? You wouldn’t have invited me so you could hook up with Sam again?” The hurt in his voice was evident and I felt a mixture of anger and regret.
“No. I don’t want to hook up with Sam again. But I don’t see what business it is of yours.” I couldn’t look at him. Instead, I tried to summon the calming balm of the water.
“Are you serious?” His hands went throu
gh his hair in what I was beginning to recognise as his signature act of frustration. “Don’t think for a second you’re going to be fucking anyone but me, Holly.”
“We’re not in a relationship. You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do.”
“Fuck!” he yelled, making me turn around. “Fuck!” he yelled again, out at the endless expanse of open water.
“What do you want me to say?” Tears welled in my eyes.
After a few deep breaths, he turned and took hold of my hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t like seeing you with him. I didn’t like hearing him say he wants to hook up with you again.”
“I didn’t sleep with him. I don’t want to be with him. I don’t.” I put my arms around his waist and looked up into his tortured face. “This was meant to be just sex, Ryan.”
“I know. But I won’t share your beautiful body with anyone.”
“Fine.”
He kissed me then took my hand, leading me up the beach.
Before we entered, he stopped. “Come home with me tonight.”
“Aren’t you sick of me yet?”
“Not even close.”
Chapter Twenty
“Wow.”
“That’s one word for it,” Ryan chuckled as he nibbled at the dip between my naked breasts.
Ryan lived in a luxurious, serviced apartment on Woolloomooloo Wharf. We’d barely made it through the door, when our clothes started hitting the floor and we stumbled ungracefully towards the bed. There was no talking, no hesitating, no questioning anything other than how quickly we could get naked and he could get inside me. We were like a pair of horny teenagers, each desperate for the release only the other could provide.
When our bodies connected, it was another crazy, intense physical experience. Being completely together was starting to feel more like necessity than desire. When he pulled out of me, I immediately felt the loss. I wrapped my arms firmly around his neck so he couldn’t get far. He seemed just as keen to stay wrapped around me.
Eventually, he got up to dispose of the condom. When he returned, he handed me one of his t-shirts. “Will you join me on the deck?”
I got out of bed, pulled his t-shirt over my head, then went to find him outside.
“That’s a good look on you.” His approving smile made me feel sexy and beautiful. Snuggled under a blanket with Ryan, the outdoor heaters blasting, it didn’t matter that I was hardly dressed.
“I think this might just be the perfect arrangement,” he said, chinking his champagne glass against mine.
“What?” I scoffed. “You have a little hissy fit and I do whatever you want?”
“Exactly.” His cheeky smile made me laugh.
“Don’t get used to it, buster.”
He kissed me lightly and I could taste the expensive champagne on his lips. “I think I might already be used to it,” he whispered, resting his forehead against mine.
When I put my arms around his neck, my charm bracelet lightly grazed his cheek.
“Tell me about your charm bracelet.” He reached back and gently brought my wrist back so he could touch the delicate charms.
“It belonged to my mother. She died when I was fifteen.”
I sat back, pulling my hands into my lap, and waited for the anxiety that never came. The words had spilled out before I realised what I was saying. I had just allowed him to know my greatest wound. A man I had only known for a short time. A man I was trying really hard to just have casual sex with.
“Oh Holly, I’m sorry. You didn’t talk about her in the past tense in your presentation.” He reached for my hands and waited for me to continue.
“I don’t usually let my personal life interfere with my career. That was the first time I’d ever mentioned her at work. It was a bit of a shock really.”
“Well, I’m honoured. Your presentation was really intense, but in a good way. I could tell you were passionate and I was completely mesmerised. Your colleague, err, Emma?”
“Eva,” I corrected with a straight face. I was laughing jubilantly on the inside.
“Oh right, Eva. She clearly has talent but once you started talking, I was sold.”
I felt surprisingly comfortable talking to Ryan about Mum. I opened up further. “My mum was an architect, you know. You may know her designs. Anna Wilson?”
“Are you serious?” He sat up straighter. “She’s a legend in the architecture world.”
I stared at the incredible harbour view, but my mind was elsewhere. “I didn’t mention her name in my presentation because I didn’t want it to have any influence.” I shook my head and looked him in the eye. “She kept her maiden name for work, so no one ever makes the connection to me.”
“You certainly inherited her genius, that’s for sure.” He leaned forward and kissed me gently on the lips. “I told you my instincts were good.”
I would never get tired of looking at him. “Tell me something about your family.”
“I thought we weren’t getting personal.”
“Err… I just told you about my mum. I think you have to tell me something now, to keep things even.”
“Fair enough. What do you want to know?”
“How often do you see your sister?”
“Not that often. Aspen lives in Melbourne. Mum flies down regularly to see her and I catch up with her when I can. I think you’d really like her, actually.”
“Aspen is an unusual name.”
“It’s where my parents met, and most likely where she was conceived, although I’d rather not give that any thought.” He scrunched up his face in disgust.
“My mum loved to ski. She would have loved to go to Aspen.”
I had so many more questions I wanted to ask about his family, but I was distracted by my growing desire to kiss him again. Ryan looked absent somehow, but I had no idea what he was thinking. Staring at his perfect face, I knew I didn’t want anything to ruin this perfect moment.
“Let’s go back to bed,” I said, snapping him out of his thoughts.
We discarded our clothes on the way back to the bedroom.
“Are you taking birth control?” Ryan asked, as we climbed into bed.
“I am,” I replied. “But I’ve never had sex without a condom.”
“I don’t want to use them with you anymore.”
I looked at him questioningly.
“I want to feel you with no barriers. If we both prove we’re clean, would you consider ditching the condoms?”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“I won’t be having sex with anyone else while our arrangement is in place. And you sure as hell won’t be having sex with anyone but me, so–”
I cut him off. “I said okay, Ryan.”
“You did? Oh. Okay then.”
I was surprised by how easily I had consented to his request. I wanted to feel him without any barriers too. It was something I’d never experienced before.
He looked at my lips hungrily.
I smiled my consent. Ryan wasted no time grabbing my waist and pulling me against him. Our lips collided and the ensuing inferno raged once again. Our bodies melded into each other as if they were made to be connected. I was shocked by how quickly I was ready to be taken by him again. The way I felt when we were together was becoming a dangerous addiction.
Despite being content in his arms, I forced myself to get up and gather my clothes from around the room. My heart wanted to stay, but my head was telling me I was getting attached, and that wasn’t good. For this to really work, we needed to keep some boundaries in place.
When I was fully dressed, I turned to Ryan who was watching me with an unreadable expression.
“Well, um… Thanks?” I said, laughing
“You are more than welcome,” he replied, grinning. “You can stay if you want.”
“I think it’s best if I go home.” I knelt on the bed and kissed him.
He grabbed the front of my t-shirt and deepened the kiss.
“Okay. Okay. I have t
o go.” I pulled away and stood up.
When I reached the door, I glanced back. He was staring at me with that same unreadable expression. Neither of us smiled. We just stared for a few seconds. What are we doing?
Chapter Twenty-One
The week passed in a blur of meetings, site visits and more meetings. I was back at the Slater Jenkins offices, so maintaining a professional relationship with Ryan had been no problem. I had only seen him once, and that was at the site with six other people – including Slater. Part of me had hoped for a stolen glance or a warm smile. I got neither. Our arrangement was working.
As I headed home from work on Friday afternoon, my phone alerted me to a text message.
My place or yours?
Once again, we were insatiable the second we were alone in his suite. The more we were together, the more comfortable we became with each other’s bodies. Lying naked together, I ran my fingers down his toned abs. A small raised scar on his lower torso made me sit up for closer inspection.
“What happened there?”
“Oh, that,” he replied, sitting up. “Just an old sporting injury.” He appeared distracted again. “Are you hungry?”
“Famished. What are you cooking me?”
“Very funny. Let’s grab a bite downstairs at one of the wharf restaurants.”
We decided on an Asian fusion restaurant and were treated to one of their best tables. I guessed Ryan was a good customer.
“So how was your week, Ms Ashton?” he asked as our dumplings arrived.
“Busy. Lots of meetings and site visits. Yours?”
“You know, I really wanted to come over and kiss you when we were on site together. It nearly killed me to keep my distance.”
“Well, that wouldn’t have been very discreet.” I was happy our arrangement was working so well, but was strangely relieved to hear him say he’d wanted to kiss me. I’d sure as hell wanted to kiss him.
“I’d like you to stay tonight,” he said, flooring me with his intense gaze.
“You would?”
“I’ve had a really busy week and I’d like nothing more than to bury myself deep inside you over and over. I’m not ready to let you go just yet.”
