by Teresa Hill
"But that's what happened!" she cried.
"I know. Doesn't make it any easier to tell you."
"But you would have told me?" She needed to know that. "Even though you hated it?"
"I just did," he pointed out.
"But if you'd been in that same spot as Zach, you'd have told me, right?"
"Grace, I didn't even know you then. I don't know how I can answer that honestly. But I know you now, and I know your husband lied to you and hurt you, and your family for whatever reason kept it from you. So I know what you need from me."
"The truth." She needed to say it that plainly, to have him promise just as plainly.
"Well, I told you a little while ago on the porch that I have some things I have to tell you. About how I got hurt and what I was like afterward, and it's not going to be easy. Not for me to say it or for you to hear it. It's gonna scare you, Grace, and I don't want to scare you away."
She groaned, lay back on top of the leaves right where she was, not caring that they were still wet from the storm, and stared at the sky. She was exhausted and wondered if she'd ever get to the point where her life didn't feel completely out of control or she could trust anyone again.
"Not now," she told him finally. "Don't tell me now. I can't take any more big, emotional conversations right now."
"Okay," he said, leaning over her, looking worried.
"Before I leave," she decided. She had three more days after all, and she wanted every single moment, wanted to make the most of them. "That's soon enough for both of us. Okay?"
"Before you leave. Promise." And then he leaned down and kissed her, and for a moment, every bad thing about the day went away.
Chapter 13
Grace closed her eyes, taking in that little bit of pleasure in the midst of an awful day. She loved the way Aidan kissed, the seemingly infinite patience, the gentleness, the sweetness, the kindness. She wanted all of that, but she wanted more, too. He went to sit back up, and she caught him, not wanting to let him go yet.
"Kiss me again, Aidan."
He brushed a hand through her hair, thinking about it. What was so scary about a kiss? No, lots of kisses. Why not? What was wrong with feeling good for a change?
"You don't have to do anything else. Just kiss me. It's so good, and you said you'd do anything for me."
"Oh, that is so not fair," he argued.
"Well, what's ever fair? How much that's happened to you lately was fair?"
"Grace, you're mad right now and frustrated and hurt. Take a minute and think about this—"
"I don't want to think. I'm sick of thinking. I just want to be here with you in this place and feel good for a change. Can we do that?"
"We are doing that," he pointed out.
"Then I want to feel even better. It doesn't have to be a big, complicated thing. I just want you to kiss me."
"Honey, I just did—"
"For a long time. A really long time. I know, we'll make it a game. A bet. You're a guy. You can't turn down a bet."
"What's the bet?"
"No, a dare. That's even better. How long do you think you can kiss me without doing anything more than that?" She grinned. She had him now. She was going to get what she wanted. "I bet I can do it longer than you can."
He shook his head, looking so gorgeous it took her breath away. "So, I lose this bet if my hands start to wander? Or my mouth? Any place but your mouth?"
"Or you stop," she said.
"Grace, I have to tell you," he said, trailing his thumb across her lips, "I don't think there's really any way to lose. I win no matter what."
She smiled, so happy lying there in the leaves with him on this beautiful fall day. "I was hoping you'd see it that way."
He carefully settled himself on the ground beside her, on his side, and pulled her over onto her side, too. Then he took his time fitting his body to hers, touching barely, one of his arms stretched out beneath her head and the other around her waist, with a big, warm hand splayed wide against her back. Finally, they were face-to-face, close enough that the air he breathed fanned warmly across her lips as he exhaled.
"Like this?" he asked. "This is legal?"
"Yes," she whispered, although she truly wished he'd lose spectacularly, pushing past all the boundaries she had set. "Make me forget everything. Everything but you."
"That's why?" He backed away, giving her a hard, assessing look. "That's why you want this?"
"No, that's not why," she admitted. "I mean, I want that, too, to forget. But it's not the reason I asked."
That must have been the right answer, because he let himself cup the side of her face with his hand, stroke her cheek, her lips once again. She did the same, needing to touch him, too, wanting the right to do that whenever she wanted. His jaw was rough. He hadn't shaved yet. His hair was thick and not military short, but short, and his eyes were beautiful. Like warm, dark chocolate with the kind of lashes girls must have always envied.
They didn't kiss right away, just explored, his hands on her face and hers on his. She wondered if he was reluctant to do more or if he, like her, wanted this to simply go on and on and on. Finally, he touched his lips to hers, giving her the tiniest taste of him. Grace grinned, couldn't help it, and then laughed.
He backed away. "That was not the response I expected."
"I just think you must be a highly competitive person and that you must have incredible willpower. And I'm glad, especially glad, right now, because—"
"You want to torment me?"
"No, because I want to be able to kiss you for a long, long time—"
He cut her off by doing just that, his mouth hard and insistent, taking control and short-circuiting practically every brain cell she had. He just tasted so good, made her want this connection to never end. His face was rough, a highly erotic contrast to the softness of his lips, and she felt an urgency in his touch that she hadn't felt before.
He did want her. Very much.
She felt a little thrill as that knowledge shot through her. It had been so long since she'd felt like a man wanted her urgently, like he was greedy to have as much of her as she was willing to give.
It wasn't long before they were devouring each other, a delicious, urgent heat building between them. Aidan's hands stopped wandering, seemed to be anchored in place around her back, as if he was afraid to let himself move them at all anymore.
He really was as competitive as she thought. He'd likely end this if she broke the rules she'd set, and only that thought made her resist the urge to roll over onto her back and pull him on top of her. But the idea of having the weight and bulk of his body on top of hers... She wanted that so badly, wanted to know she could push past all the boundaries either one of them set.
He groaned low in his throat, sounding hungry and needy, breathing hard, like her, as he made love to her mouth, his tongue thrusting strongly into her mouth, mimicking another movement she wanted badly to be happening for real. They'd started out with their bodies barely touching. But as the kisses went on and on, they'd gotten closer, until her breasts were nestled against the muscles of his chest, and finally their legs entwined, one of her thighs between his hard thighs.
For a moment then, she thought she might have felt something... his body starting to respond exactly as it should to what was going on between them. Grace thrust her lower body against his, wanting to know she could do that to him. She was still trying to figure it out, to be sure when...
Something cold and wet pressed against her cheek, and it wasn't human.
She shrieked and pulled away, ending up almost nose-to-cold-nose with Tink. He must have thought they were playing a new game, because he looked like he was smiling. He even nudged his nose against Aidan's cheek, too, and then darted away a few feet, pawed at the leaves and looked back at them, as if to ask why no one was chasing him.
Aidan groaned and rolled onto his back, throwing a hand over his head, still breathing hard. Grace laughed and a moment later, rolled t
oward him, snuggling against his side, her head on his shoulder, her hand pressed flat against his abdomen.
"So, you were right. No way for either of us to lose that game," Grace said, staring up through the canopy of trees and pretty leaves to the sky above. It was a beautiful day, absolutely beautiful. "And was it my imagination or did you..."
"Kind of. Not much, but it was more than I've felt down there since I came to in the hospital." He swore. "I can't believe you can get me to talk about this. Grace, was that what you were trying to do? See if you could... fix me?"
"No. That wasn't why. I just wanted you to touch me, to kiss me. I wanted more than that, but I didn't think you'd agree." She lifted her head and looked at him. "Could I get you to agree to anything more?"
"I don't know, Grace. I just found out your husband didn't leave you and you didn't leave him. He died. How long ago?"
"Seven and a half months ago."
He shook his head. "It's not a lot of time."
"Well, it feels like it's been an eternity to me, and unless you've been through it, I don't think you'd know how long it feels like."
"Okay. You're right. I'm sorry."
"Don't try to tell me I don't know what I want, what I'm feeling," she insisted. "I'll admit, I haven't come to terms with a lot that had to do with Luc and our marriage yet. But don't tell me I shouldn't be here with you if I want to. You're the one who asked me to stay—"
"I didn't know then—"
"Well, I did, and surely that decision is mine, not yours."
"I just don't want to make things any more difficult for you, Grace."
"You're not. Being here with you is the first thing that's felt good to me in a long time."
"For me, too, but honey, my life is kind of a mess right now, too. So it seems like we should take some time to think about this, about what we're doing, about whether we can be good for each other right now."
Which was so logical, she couldn't really argue against it. After all, she hadn't thought she was being reckless or rushing into anything with Luc, and look how that had turned out.
"Okay, but the thing is, I like you, Aidan. More than I should after spending so little time with you."
He looked exasperated. "Did you hear anything I just said?"
"Yes, I did. But that's how I feel, and I wanted to say it." She grinned at him, couldn't help it. It felt ridiculously good to be there with him in that moment.
He looked even madder. "What am I supposed to do with that? I'm trying to be good. I'm trying to be careful. I really don't want to hurt you—"
"I know. I believe all of that. It's part of what makes me like you so much."
"And then you go and say something like that?"
She nodded, still grinning. "Sorry. You're just so... likeable. I'd promise to try not to do more than really like you and want to kiss you, not do more than sleep curled up against you with your hands all over me, but it's Saturday. I have to go home on Monday. We don't have a lot of time."
"You absolutely have to go on Monday?"
She nodded. "I have to work. And my family would hunt me down if I didn't show up. They know I didn't want to go to Luc's mother's house. They'd never believe I'd stay a few extra days."
"Why were you going at all?"
"Guilt. I felt guilty about putting it off for so long. They adored Luc. They thought he was perfect in every way, and they think I'm grieving for him the same way they are, that I'm devastated."
He took her hands in his big, strong, warm hands and held on. "So you really have been in this all alone, Grace."
"Well, my brother knew and I don't even know who else. So we've all been carrying on this charade of pretending not to know, which makes me furious. But I'll deal with them when I get home. Not here. Not now. We have too little time as it is."
"What do you want now?"
Aidan.
She wanted him.
She wanted to be enfolded in his arms, skin on skin, nothing between them. They could stay in their makeshift bed by the fire for the next three days, holding each other, kissing, touching, anything else they could manage.
How did she get him to agree to that?
"I want you," she whispered, placing her palms flat against his chest, feeling his heartbeat kick up a notch or two as she said it. "I've been a good girl my whole life. I've been careful and worked hard and tried to be a nice person, and when I married Luc, I went all-in. I thought we'd be together forever."
"I'm sure you did, Grace. But it doesn't mean you shouldn't be careful right now—"
"I told you. I have been. It didn't work. And right now, I feel like... You showed up in my life exactly when I needed you, and I'm so glad you did. I'm going to let you in."
She slid her hand over his chest, to his jaw and turned his head toward hers for another of his slow, sweet, sexy kisses. The man could really kiss.
"You can't tell me you're really sorry about this," she said.
"No, honey. God, no. I just... keep thinking, you're here now? Really? At the absolute worst point in my life? Or three and a half months past the worst point? At least, I hope that was the low point."
"I'm here now because you need me now." It made perfect sense to her. "And I'm not someone who's going to run away, either. I'm not fragile. I'm a tough girl, remember?"
He pressed his cheek against hers, held her against him with a hand in her hair. "I know you are. I just wish I could be the man I used to be for you, with you."
"I don't think I could like the man you are any more than I already do. Life hasn't been easy for you lately, and yet, here you are, being... you. You're kind and strong and gentle and patient. And you not only pulled a tree off of an old lady, but you took in her dog, who I know you didn't want." She smiled at him. "You took me in, too."
He was quiet for a long time, holding her. Finally, he kissed her forehead and said, "You broke in, remember?"
Grace giggled. Actually giggled, and it felt so good.
"Luckiest thing that ever happened to me," he said. "And I like you, too. I can't imagine liking you any more than I already do. But there are things I have to do, Grace. Things I have to get through. Parts of me that have to heal, and my head... I have to get my head on straight, and I can't make you any promises until I do that."
"Okay," she said.
He rose up on his side and leaned over her. "Grace, you don't just say 'okay' to something like that."
"I just did," she reminded him.
"You need more than that. You deserve more—"
"I want you, and I have some things to do myself. So the fact that you need some time, too, is not a problem for me."
He looked completely exasperated, and she was sitting there, blissfully happy. Did he really want this to be hard? Because it didn't seem hard or complicated at all to her. She liked him. She wasn't going to pretend otherwise.
"You worry too much," she told him, and sat up, leaves falling off her as she did so.
He sat up, too, and started brushing his hand through her hair. "You have leaves all over you, even in your hair."
"You do, too."
He got to his feet and then helped her up to hers. They brushed leaves off each other, their backs, their legs, their hips, and ended up in another embrace, with more kisses. Grace felt happier than she had in ages. She had the man, the dog, this beautiful, peaceful place, a gorgeous fall day.
Life felt good for a change.
* * *
They went back to the cabin and changed clothes much the worse for wear from them lying in the wet leaves on the wet, muddy ground, and Aidan's head started spinning every time he so much as looked at her.
She liked him?
What the hell, Grace?
She'd wait for him?
Like she was ready to ignore completely every fucked up thing about him and his life right now and patiently, happily give him time to try to get his shit together. As if she had every confidence in the world that he not only could, but he wou
ld, and she'd be right there waiting for him, ready for anything that might happen between them.
He was pretty sure that's what she'd said, what she'd meant.
What the hell was he supposed to say to that? Tell her not to? That she'd be crazy to agree to something like that? That she didn't even know what had happened to him and how lousy his life had been since then?
Yeah, he could tell her that. And watch the light, the joy go out of her eyes and all the worry come in or maybe even pity. God, he'd hate that.
She'd said she wanted him. It seemed she really did, and he didn't deserve that, didn't deserve her. Shit, most of the time, he didn't even feel like he deserved to be alive. So to go from that, to a woman like her, breaking into his life and lighting it up the way she had, making him want desperately to be alive again... How did a man make sense of that? How did he handle it?
Grace came out of the bedroom, the dog trailing after her like her devoted servant. She gave Aidan a beautiful smile, wrapped her arms around him and kissed him sweetly. "You're worrying. Stop it."
"I have things to worry about," he insisted.
"You can do that any time, like when I'm gone. I want to do something fun now. I haven't had fun in a long time, Aidan, and I bet you haven't, either."
"Fun?"
"You remember the concept?
"Vaguely."
"What the last thing you did that was fun?" she asked.
"Lying on the leaves, kissing you."
"Okay. We could do more of that. We could do... lots of things, outside, on the leaves. I don't care if it's wet and a little muddy, a little cold."
He shook his head. "You say things like that, and I think I could peel your clothes off and do... anything I could manage with you, and you wouldn't object at all."
"I wouldn't," she said, giving him an oh-so-innocent look.
"Grace!"
"Try me. We can do that right now."
She grabbed the bottom of her sweater, and... Yeah, she was going to peel it off for him, helpful creature that she was. He caught her hands before she could do it, and she laughed at him.
