by Miss Dee
A Mother’s Love
The Body Dies but the Spirit Lives on
Miss Dee
Copyright © 2015 Miss Dee
All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including scanning, photocopying, or otherwise without prior permission of the copyright holder.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive right to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
This book is dedicated to my mother Kim Patterson
My brothers Kewan and Kesean Patterson, Demetrice and Durrell Ringo
To my children Shurya Orr and Cornelius Crigler Jr.
They make up the pieces to my heart.
And to all the Motherless Children out there please always remember that a mother’s love is forever.
Cover design: Miss Dee
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Blog: http://dericaringo.blog.com
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Part One: Denesha’s Story
Chapter One
The day was beautiful. I had the perfect dress, the perfect man, the perfect place, but I had to think was this the right thing to do? I had been through a lot, so much in these years that I didn’t know if I even deserved to be happy. I thought about Quincy his handsome face. He was the perfect color of caramel with the biggest beautiful eyes I had ever seen. He had stolen my heart, changed my life, and accepted me. But was I good enough for this great man? Huh, I know I was wrong for thinking all of this on my wedding day. Hours before I was to marry the man I loved but I couldn’t help but think this way. I needed to call him. I was in the shop on Hampton getting my hair done for our big day. My long jet black hair was getting straighten to perfection. I called his cell he picked up immediately.
“Hey baby.” His sexy voice flowed into the phone.
“Hey sweetie,” I said with great apprehension.
“What’s wrong D, everything alright?”
“Yeah I am okay.” I said I was trying to keep my head straight so that the Nina who was doing my hair wouldn’t burn me. “I was just thinking, are you sure you ready for this?”
He sighed “baby I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me if I wasn’t”
He was right why was I tripping he knew who I was and he understood me and accepted me. I needed to get off the bullshit and accept that somebody loved me with no extra motives.
“You right baby I’m just tripping you know pre wedding jitters. I will be aight. Where you at anyway baby” I asked looking in the mirror. I had to hand it to Nina she was hooking my hair up.
“Handling business matter of fact gotta go. Love you.”
“Love you too.” I said even though he had hung up the phone. Ugh! I hated when he did that. As I finished getting my hair did for my big day my mind drifted off to my younger days.
Nine years earlier…
Bowling was our Saturday night ritual for Rick, me and my girls. It was me Denesha, my best friend Zaharra, Red, Yellow, and Rick he was gay. We had been kicking it and friends since Middle School. Zaharra was brown skinned with a big butt, her hair was in a short pixie cut as always. She had the loudest, ghetto mouth to match her ghetto booty. Red and Yellow the twins were some skinny redbones that were exactly the same size zero and were identical except the fact that Yellow had a bigger nose. Then we had Rick gay ass in our crew. He was cool one of those pretty niggas that was scared to break a nail. He looked like a dude and even talked like one but we knew better because sometimes he would act too sweet and he related to us to well. Now I was an average pretty girl I was brown skinned short, thick, and cute as a button. People say I reminded them of the actress Gabriel Union.
We stepped in the Bowling alley and I tell you it was live, as usual. Every High School kid kicked it at the Bowling alley. It was bout three different bowling allies around the city so we liked to switch which one we went to every Saturday. We always tried to come early so that we could get a spot but when we entered it was thick. We were not the last people in line but we had ended up getting the last lane.
The white guy that worked there yelled out to the crowd, “Alright there is going to be a two hour wait you all can either wait or come back.”
The guys behind us were angry because we had gotten the last spot. They were about to leave when Red told them they could join us. Now Red is a real flirt she always up in a nigga face so when she saw that the guys were leaving she invited the guys to join us. We were used to her doing the shit but we were still mad because she didn’t discuss it with us. Honestly the guys were cute it was about seven of them. But we didn’t want any of the other potential guys at the Bowling alley to think they were with us.
We decided not to sweat it and enjoy our night but we were definitely going to have a talk with her ass. The guys chipped in and paid for the games since we had let them join us. We each grabbed our shoes and went to our lane. We were the last lane at the end. It was so many fine guys in the building that I couldn’t help but put a little swivel in my hips. I had on my jeans that made my ass look like an apple so I know they were watching. I never been really good with gravity so here I was walking and slipped but I didn’t fall. The one guy we were with grabbed my hand.
“You aight ma” He questioned.
“Yeah I’m good” I said fixing my hair. He came up to me real close and whispered in my ear as he leaned in I could smell the scent of his breath it smelled sweet like peppermint, “Trust and believe they watching don’t try so hard.” I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear.
We bowled for two hours and had so much fun. I was striking and showing out since I was trying to impress Lo that was his name. And I must admit he was fine. He was dark skinned with a low hair cut. He had the cutest big doe eyes I had ever seen. He wasn’t too tall. About 5’ 6 but that was okay I was only 5’ 0 myself. We exchanged numbers before we left and the entire bus ride home I was praying he called. When we got to my stop Zaharra and I got off. She was going to spend the night over my house, as always. We had to catch two buses so when we got off the 63 we waited for our last bus the 23.
“You really feeling ole boy” Zaharra said as we waited in the shelter for the bus. It was cold as hell too.
“Yes girl he not like those clowns at our school he is older and I know he more mature than them fools.” I said as a matter of fact.
I felt like I was too mature for the High School boys. At the age of fifteen I wasn’t having sex because I had not met the right man. Why would I want some boy to take my virginity when he wouldn’t know what he was doing when I could have a man do it right. The bus came fifteen minutes later and it dropped us off at the corner by my house.
No one was at my house anyways except for my little thirteen year old sister Tesha. My mom stayed gone over this and that nigga house. That was pretty much how she paid our bills. She was a professional hoe. And niggas paid her too. I didn’t know my father but I know he sent a fat check in the mail every month to help take care of us. My mom really wasn’t active in our lives I think she was glad we were old enough to watch ourselves now.
The streets were dark and only lights that were on were the streetlights. I was happy I had Zaharra walking along side me because it was creepy quiet. Good thing the bus let us off at the corner and my house was in the middle of the block and good thing Zaharra kept a blade on her.
My little sister Tesha was in the living room watching television with our little cousin
Iona. They kept each other company all the time. My auntie Isyss was a hoe too. They hoed together my Mama and Aunt. They didn’t give a damn about us, we only had each other.
“Hey sissy,” Tesha said to me.
“Hey baby what yall doing still up?” I asked as I sat down next to my sister and gave her a hug.
My little sister Tesha had the cutest eyes and she was light skinned. She looked more like my Mama then I did. Tesha’s father still came around and he still did things for her. Sometimes I got jealous of her but I still loved my little sister.
“Watching Waiting to Exhale you know that’s my movie girl.” She said. “And by the way some nigga called for you.”
I smiled awwww he had called already. I knew it had to be Lo because I didn’t talk to anyone else; I didn’t have any experience with any guys. I grabbed the phone and she showed me the number. I ran into my room and dialed the number. He answered on the first ring.
“Hello,” he said sounding so sexy.
“Hey this Lo” I asked taking my shirt off and putting on my Winnie the Pooh bear pajamas.
“Yeah my bad about calling so late, I just wanted to make sure you got home safe.”
“Oh it’s no problem my mom’s don’t be tripping.” Shit how could she when she is never here I thought.
“Aw is that so, so when you gone come and see me?” He said in my ear.
Zaharra walked in the room so that gave me an excuse to put down the phone. I was so nervous. This was the first guy I had ever talked to on the phone. Sure I flirted and talked to guys at school but I felt as if they were not on my level.
“Could you hold on for a minute?” I asked I put the phone on mute before he could respond, “Zaharra he wants me to come see him what do I say?”
“Oh gosh the virgin in you is so noticeable.” She said rolling her eyes. Zaharra had had sex before with many guys so she was no beginner. “Tell him you can come one day after school.”
“Okay,” I said and got back on the phone, “Hello.”
“Yeah ma so when you gone come see me”
“Um maybe one day this week when I get out of school.”I said trying to sound cool. I was anxious at that moment to see him although I didn’t know when we would see each other.
“Aw aight ma, yeah right get that education.” He said.
We spoke for a little while longer then we got off the phone. By the time we got off the phone Zaharra was asleep on the floor in her sleeping bag. Ugh now I might be up all night listening to her snoring but that wasn’t a bad thing since I could think of Lo. I smiled to myself and before I knew it I was sleep.
Chapter Two
It was that Thursday when I finally got a chance to see Lo. We talked on the phone everyday and everyday he asked the same question when I was coming to see him. Zaharra and I came up with a plan once my Mom left. She was leaving out to go to North Dakota so it would be Thursday when I came to see him. Although my Mother was a hoe she was really strict. The only time I could go out was if it was with my friends. She wouldn’t know anything because she was going to be gone out of town but I didn’t want to leave Tesha by herself.
Zaharra told me she would stay with Tesha until I got home. I had to catch one bus to Lo’s house the 76. Lo met me on the bus stop like a gentlemen. It was freezing too! I had on little waist coat trying to look cute but this was not the look cute weather. I was so nervous when I saw him. His smooth caramel face so sexy and when he smiled I fell in love. He walked up to me and gave me a hug. He smelled good like fresh soap. We walked to his house it was right through the alley by the bus stop. Nobody was home so that made me even more nervous.
Lo knew I was a virgin I told him through our conversations on the phone. He didn’t care and he was very nice about it. He really didn’t mention it or bring it up either and that made me feel comfortable. We sat on the couch in his room and he turned on the television. He had a nice size bed it was a full size bed and his room was nice and clean. He lived with his mother her name was Nancy and she was at work.
We watched BET and talked about all the stars and the latest celebrity gossip. Lo I found out was nineteen. I know what could a nineteen year old do with a fifteen year old? I was young and since Lo showed me some attention more than any other guy had showed me I felt like he liked me. Being next to him was a turn on for me. He only had his arm around my neck and I was soaking wet. I know he could tell I was nervous but he was being a gentleman about it.
“You nervous ma?” he asked as he put his arms around my waist and kissed the back of my neck.
Electric shocks went through my body. I had a low cut shirt to entice him and my titties were sitting really pretty. I had never had sex, shit I had never kissed anybody before so he was opening me up and I couldn’t even resist.
“Yeah a little” I confessed. He kissed me again on my neck and then went to my ear. My panties at this moment was creaming over.
“You like that ma?”
He knew damn well I did by the way my body was tensing up. As he was kissing me he started to ease his way up my thigh. Once he got to my love box he stopped kissing me. He touched my love box and then he touched it again and looked at me. I looked scared I didn’t know what was wrong. “Damn ma you so damn wet I can feel it through your jeans.”
I started laughing it was a nervous laugh cause I didn’t know if that was good or bad. “You want me to leave?” I asked. I didn’t know what to do.
“Hell naw, I want you to stay. I definitely want you to stay.” That night we did a lot of stuff. Mostly kissing and fondling but I left with my virginity he wasn’t gone get it that easy.
I liked Lo a lot he was my first boyfriend but he was going to have to work to get the cookies out of the jar. Over the next couple of months Lo and I got real close. We stayed up on the phone all night talking he made sure I went to school, and we made sure we saw each other every week.
I was only fifteen but I knew I was in love with Lo he was my everything. I loved everything about the man. The only thing I hated about him and wish that he wouldn’t do was drink so much. I didn’t think that it was a problem. He said he was just a social drinker. But when he did drink he got a little mean and possessive. But that was because he was in love with me and didn’t like for any of his friends to look at me or try to talk to me when we were together.
It was the weekend and one of Lo’s guys had a party at his house. I had Zaharra come with me. Tim was Lo’s friend and we went to school with him also, he was in his senior year. So we had met before, it was just their friends and a couple of females they knew. There was liquor flowing and Lo was drinking everything in sight as usual. He didn’t really have a specific drink he liked he just liked to drink. We had been dating for about four months now.
I had been thinking about sex a lot lately. I had even asked Zaharra how it felt. She had told me that it was going to hurt but after a while it would feel good. Lo had been pressuring me lately to have sex with him and although I was scared I wanted to give it to him. What if he decided to have sex with someone else I would lose him? I definitely had to put on my big girl pants and give it up because no one was going to take my man.
We were chilling at the party they had all the hottest shit bumping throughout the house. I was sitting next to Lo and he was playing with my pussy. He always did that and he didn’t care who he was in front of us. I was his and if I protested he got mad. I was super wet he started to whisper in my ear all the nasty things he wanted to do to me. I whispered back to let’s get away and go somewhere private. He walked over to Tim and told him something and then came to me. He led me upstairs into one of the rooms. It was dark going up the hallway and you couldn’t hear the music as loud as we made it upstairs. It must have been Tim’s room because it was a plain full sized bed in the room with a TV sitting on top of a dresser. He had lots of naked white bitches hanging on his wall.
Lo sat on the bed next to me. He started kissing on me and getting me real hot. He smelled of liq
uor but I didn’t care. I loved him and he loved me and that was all that matter. That day in that room Lo took my virginity. It wasn’t romantic or anything like that having sex hurt like hell at first. That was my first time in the room of Lo’s friend. That summer we had sex over and over again and by the end of the summer I was good and pregnant.
Sitting in the bathroom in McDonalds I looked at the test again two lines that meant I was pregnant. The tears streamed down my face I was only fifteen what was I going to do? I had to tell Lo first I know he was going to be mad.
I caught the bus over Lo’s house from McDonalds to give him the news. He answered the door and gave me a kiss. I sat down on his bed. I didn’t know where to start.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“I’m pregnant” I blurted out.
I just knew he was going to be mad but he kissed me and told me how much he loved me and he wanted to marry me. So that made me feel a little better but I was still scared. The next task was to tell my Mom whenever she got home. Lo and his mom Nancy came with me. Nancy was a nice lady who I really adored. The only thing is that Nancy was a drunk. Like mother like son. But she was a real genuinely nice lady. Lo was an only child so Nancy treated me like the daughter she had never had. A lot of times I spent time with Nancy when Lo wasn’t around I never really had a real mother figure.
When I got home I walked in my Mother’s room and told her I needed to talk to her about something that was real important so she needed to be home. She seemed like she had an attitude at first when I said it. She was putting makeup on her brown pretty face.
“Mom you about to leave tonight again” I asked her as she put eyeliner under her eyes. Her room smelled good with a mixture of different fragrances.
“Naw girl why, “She said sounding annoyed.
“I gotta talk to you about something tomorrow.” I said looking scared.
