by Miss Dee
“Thank you baby,” Kane helped me put my clothes on.
This man he was strong, intelligent, yet so gentle with me. I was lucky. “Kane I love.” I said before I even knew the words had slipped out of my mouth.
“I love you too Violet,” he said while grabbing my bags.
He said it like it was nothing to him. But it was the first time I had said I love you in my life and really meant it. He started helping me up and I got angry.
“No no no!” I screamed he looked surprised. “ I said I love you Kane.” I said with tears in my eyes.
“Damn she must can’t hear.” He said he looked at me and came close to my ear. “I love you too!” He shouted. I started laughing.
“I heard you boy.”
“Well shit act like it, move yo ass we gotta get to the house.”
There he go being the boss. But honestly he helped me heal better during my therapy he pushed me harder than the physical therapist. I was crying and trying to give up but Kane was not having.
He would say, “hell naw Violet quit being lazy and being a fucking baby you can do this.” And since I loved my man I did what he told me to do.
The ride home was painful I could not wait to get home. I could feel every bump and bruise every time we hit a pot hole. When I was in the coma I would hear my mother singing to she made me feel not so scared. I was happy she was with me the entire time. I didn’t know I was in a coma when she was singing to me. I just thought I was in a deep sleep and was dreaming of her. Once I realized that she was there with me I knew that it was through her love I pulled through.
I had never gotten that quality time that I could remember with my Mom but I can say that now I felt at ease. I got a bit of a closure in my life now that I knew she was always around me protecting me. I know she was an angel watching over me and my siblings. I didn’t tell them that I wanted it to be our little secret but I know it was my Mother who had protected us.
We pulled up at the house and it was just how I remembered. Kane had cooked some food. I was happy cause I was tired of that hospital food. I needed as much food as I could I had gotten too little. I walked past my full length mirror and looked at myself I started crying.
I had my short hair slicked back. My light skin was still flawless. I didn’t cry because I saw the walker or because I didn’t look like myself I cried because I felt good. Although I was fucked up and couldn’t walk on my own I was alive. I had made up with Mar and I had my man Kane. I had Jr. and Daphne too and I was grateful.
I was grateful for everything although I was ungrateful just a year before. I had used my looks to get by because that was all I had. I didn’t know what I possessed. I possessed much more than sex, head, and just a fun time. I possessed love inside of me. A motherless child I was but a beautiful young woman I had become. Couldn’t get any better than this realizing your pain does not have to be your conqueror and that love conquers all.
Chapter Thirty Four
Daphne
I had just made it to my restaurant and things were hectic. I couldn’t wait for my sister to get back on her feet so that she could be my cook at my restaurant. My cook was this black chef he was good but he was too busy being in the waitress and other bitches that work there face but being the boss and a cook I could not do.
“Willie what the hell is going on why are all of these orders backed up?” I saw at least ten customers out there trying to get some food and that was not too be tolerated. I had named my restaurant Delightful after my mom.
“Well the cook’s assistant ain’t been helping me.” He said as sweat dripped from his bald head.
Don’t get me wrong Willie was a handsome man but he was lazy or he just didn’t know what he was doing. He had been with me since I opened six months ago and I kind of think he lied about working at other restaurants, but I must admit his food was tasty but he was so damn slow. I put on an apron and helped out.
I got home that night at around eleven o’clock I was exhausted. I decided to take a nice warm bath. Mike was not in the house yet but that was okay. He was in the works of trying to get his electrician business under control because he was going to be going on tour soon. I was going to miss him I would try to make some of the shows out of town but being that I was a business owner I needed to concentrate on that.
Sherri had tried to come and apologize to me after I beat her ass but I was not having it. Terance had left her and was currently denying her baby. I knew that much when I saw they ass on Maury. It was a very hilarious episode where he denied and denied and his ugly ass wife was right beside him. I had never saw his wife but she was not cute she was a redbone with bad skin. Her teeth were a perfect white and her hair was cute short. They made a fool of themselves only to find out that Terance was the father. What a trip.
I got out the tub and rubbed my brown skin down with baby oil. I looked up at my Mom’s picture and it still brought tears to my eyes. I missed my mom so much. I was the oldest so I held more memories than my brothers and sister and that was a good thing because I could picture her beautiful face but it was also a bad thing because I missed her so much. It was like I was cheated of having something and experiencing something that my heart could never reach. My heart would never be whole, never be fully mended and I really didn’t know how to deal with that. I grabbed her picture and cuddled until I fell asleep.
I was awoken by Mike grabbing my Mom’s picture out my hand and placing it on the dresser. I reached over and hugged him. Sometimes I would get so wrapped in being a motherless child I often forgot about my other blessings like a supportive boyfriend who gave me the money to start my restaurant. Not only that but wonderful brothers and a beautiful sister that I loved dearly. Yes, I was blessed. And I knew what a Mother’s love felt like. I had experienced it as a child when my Mom was alive so I knew that her love lived on.
Shamar
The ride was so long I thought I never was going to make it. I rode by myself because I really hadn’t told anyone. I had been visiting Quincy every since I turned eighteen I had always looked at him as a father. We had been working on an appeal since technically he was defending my Mother. After years and years his appeal sentence was dropped to time served and I was on my way to pick him up.
I had left the drug game alone thanks to Lorina. I told her Dad that I couldn’t do it anymore he didn’t give a damn he was hell bent on finding out who had killed his precious daughter. I hoped to God he never found out because that was one war I was not prepared for. I got hooked up with Mike and he hired me as security when he goes on tour so I was looking forward to that
I had talked to Brittany a couple of times and I even hit that on occasion but we were not getting back together that was for damn sure. I forgave my brother once he explained to me what happened. And it really didn’t matter because that was my blood. But Brittany although we had been through a lot and I understood I put her through a lot I was not taking her back. She had begged me to take her back because she knew I was a good man but fuck that I did not like the disloyalty.
I was damn sure glad that my sister Violet was okay it fucked me up to see baby girl like that. When I found out that faggot Carlos was still alive I made sure that that was short lived. I wonder did Violet have nightmares about what happened I know I do. I have nightmares about killing Lorina and about chopping Cash into pieces. And although my actions were justified they still were not right.
I pulled up at the jail and awaited Quincy’s homecoming. I told him he could stay with me until he got his own spot if he wanted his own spot. Hell we was leaving to go on tour soon so it wasn’t like he needed to get his own spot. He got in the car and we embraced. I had told my brother and sisters to meet me at the cemetery I had a surprise but that would be tomorrow today Quincy and I would chop it up and get him back acquainted with the streets.
“So Pops what you plan to do since you out?” I said as we drove down the highway.
“Son, I want a good ass meal as soon as we g
et to the city. That nasty ass jail food ain’t about shit.” He laughed.
We made it to the city at about seven that evening and I ordered some takeout at Applebee’s. We went to the house to get comfortable. When Violet and I had gotten kidnapped my Carlos and Lorina Quincy was worried about me. He didn’t know exactly what had happened that day until I told him but when he had called me and I didn’t answer he knew something was up. He had that Father’s intuition I never missed a phone call or a visit.
I made sure I had Quincy a whole new wardrobe and I made sure his room was nice. He appreciated and loved it. His own kids had pretty much quit speaking to him. Their mother told them he cared more about a bitch than them since he had given his freedom up. That was fucked up, everybody deserved justice, especially my Mom.
I missed my Mom, not really missed her because I was young when she died and I barely remember her but I miss not knowing Not knowing what it felt like to have a Mother’s love, not knowing how it felt to see her every day, hear her talk, eat her food. Not knowing what it felt like to get a whooping or when it was time to do homework not having that help from her. Just not knowing a real woman’s touch, I only had Daphne and Violet but they couldn’t relate to a Mother’s love.
We were the first to arrive at the cemetery. When we arrived Quincy placed the flowers he had bought Mom and he started crying. I mean really crying I had never seen a grown man cry so hard. He was on his knees in mud with his head down bawling like a baby. He loved her dearly. He cried so hard it caused me to cry. I felt a hand on my back and turned to see Daphne she had tears in her eyes.
She looked just like our Mother and before I knew it we embraced and I cried harder. I needed this, I needed to let this out. Why was she taken from us, why was we left on our own? Daphne was crying but she wasn’t bawling like me. She was strong, she was strong for me. I got myself together and let her go.
“I needed that sis.” I said wiping my tears.
“We all do sometimes, even trees sway.”She looked down at Quincy who was still crying. “Who is that?”
“Pops get up,” I said touching his shoulder. “Calm down Daphne is here.” Quincy consoled himself a little and got up and turned towards Daphne.
“Q!” she said hugging him. They embraced and cried. I saw Jr. and Violet pulling up. I made sure Jr. went to go get her because it was only a sibling thing no significant others.
“Okay yall calm down her come Jr. and Violet.” I went to help Violet out the car. She was walking well now she only used a cane but I wanted to help.
“Hey, Mar Mar who Daphne over there hugging on Mike gone be mad.” She joked. We walked up to them and Jr. recognized Q right away.
“Pops what’s up man!” he said looking at me then at Q they hugged. “What the fuck Shamar you been keeping this a secret when did you get out?”
“Yesterday,” Q said he had calmed down. He looked at Violet and he looked unsure. I guess so since he had killed her father. Violet looked at me.
“Who is this Mar?” she said since she knew it wasn’t our real father Shane. But I think she knew deep down who it was but she wanted to make sure.
“It’s me baby girl Quincy.” He stepped forward. I guess he wanted to face her like a man.
“Get the fuck outta here,” she smiled then held out here arms to be hugged. “I thought I would never see you again.” She started to cry. “Damn I finally got one of my parents now.” That was a relief. We visited Mama and gave her some flowers. And it was like we were a family again.
“Man I wish Mama could see us all grown up.” I said.
I see you baby Mama sees you and Mama loves you all I thought as tears fell from my eyes. Just then the sky opened and I felt warm. Not cold like before, I felt warm. I was resting my soul could finally rest Quincy was there to look after our kids just like he was suppose to I was at rest. I closed my eyes and let my soul float through those pearly gates. Yes, Father God I was finally home. Thank you Jesus.
