Candy sneers at me from her position, “She won’t do fucking shit. She’s a washed-up whore wanting to be an Ol’ Lady. Stryker will come back to me when he gets sick of gentle fucking with the lights off.”
Before my brain realizes my feet are moving, I’m towering over Candy. Her eyes widen in fear. I raise my fist high in the air and bring it down hard onto her cheek. The sound of bones crushing under my fist releases me from my restraints. Releases me from my own fears. I can do this. I can be a badass like the rest of them. I can fight the demon on my back and take back control. I can be me again.
All the years of abuse and neglect come pouring out of me. Blow after blow I rein onto these two women, allowing me to take it all back. Take back my strength, take back my mind, take back my soul. My limbs are heavy when I finally stop. Blood coats my knuckles, staining my hands.
I feel a soft touch on my shoulder. I jerk my head up and stare into warm hazel eyes. “Welcome back. Feels good to regain control doesn’t it?” Poison leads me out of the kitchen. My knees tremble with every step. Adrenaline is pumping through my system causing my body to shake.
“It does feel great. I can’t stop shaking though,” I half laugh, half sob. Poison wraps her arm around my shoulder, steadying me.
“That will wear off in a little. You did great. Those bitches will stay away, licking their wounds, but when they come back, they’ll steer clear of you now. They got the message Stryker is yours.”
“What if he finds out and decides he wants one of them and not me?” Oh my lord, that will break me if he does. What if he wants sweet and innocent and I’ve turned into a monster? What if I can’t control the need to fight? What if I’m changed and he doesn’t like it?
“Holly, stop.” Poison stops walking bringing me to a halt. “I can hear your mind running a million miles an hour from here. Stryker might be a brooding asshole, but he’s your brooding asshole.” She turns me to look at her, resting her hands on my shoulders. “He might not say it with so many words, but he cares about you and he wants you to be able to stand up for yourself. He wants you to be strong. I don’t know what Candy or Bambi said or did to you in there, but I do know you needed this. You needed to take back your life and if anything, Stryker will be proud to have you by his side with your head held high, knowing you can hold your own. Now go wash your hands and meet Siren and me in the living room.”
She gives me a gentle shove toward my bedroom. Before I open the door, I stop and turn around. “Thank you for helping me, Poison. I’ve never had anyone in my corner before.”
“You’re welcome. And it’s not just me having your back, you have a whole MC who will die protecting you. Especially one I wouldn’t want to cross.” Poison gives me a wink and shouts over her shoulder, “Hurry up we need to have girl time.”
A smile graces my lips and I hurry into my bedroom. I slip into my bathroom, closing the door behind me. I turn on the water and let the warmth seep through my hands as I scrub the blood away, watching it run down the drain. I’ve taken back my control and like the water turning from red to clear, I know I did the right thing. The urge to cut isn’t even in the front of my mind. It’s locked away and I pray it never returns.
Turning off the water, I dry my hands and stare into the mirror. The woman staring back at me is someone I’ve never seen before. She’s someone I’ve always dreamed of being and never thought I’d get there. My brown eyes appear to be lighter, my tanned skin glistening off the lights, and the one thing that’s always been missing is a genuine smile that graces my lips. I’ve worn the mask for years, smiling when needed, but this is a real genuine smile with a hint of badass underneath. Taking back my control, having a strong, sexy biker as my man and friends stand beside me, not over me, lifts a heavy weight off my shoulders. I love what I see and I never want her to go away.
With a renewed bounce in my step, I open the bathroom door. I stop dead in my tracks. The hair on the back of my neck stands on end. Someone’s in here. Someone’s in my sanctuary. I look around the room and my breath catches in my throat. No, this can’t be happening to me. Sitting on my bed is someone I thought I’d escaped. Someone I desperately didn’t want to see again.
“Hello, Holly. Bet you didn’t think you’d see me again did ya?” The deep timber of Sledge’s voice sends a haunting chill down my spine. His dark greasy hair hangs down in his face. His cold black eyes pin me to my spot, trailing up and down my body in a leering glare. The leather Serpent’s cut resting against his chest, straining against his muscles terrifies me. The man my nightmares are made from is sitting on my bed, in my room. And he looks like he wants to eat me alive.
“What…” I trail off and clear my throat. “What are you doing here?” My voice trembles and my knees knock against each other. The renewed strength I found just a few minutes ago flew out the window.
“I’ve come to take back what’s mine.” Sledge stands up from the bed approaching me. I search the room for some kind of weapon. My eyes land on a lamp sitting on my dresser. I slowly step toward it, a plan forming in my mind.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I was never yours.” Another inch closer.
“You were promised to me when you were old enough. Now I’ve come to claim you and take you home.” He raises from the bed. His massive body steps closer causing me to back up, further away from the dresser and my door which is now closed. Further away from getting help.
I have no words. My back hits the wall with a thud and Sledge crowds against me. His hot rancid breath fans across my face and I try to hold back a gag. He leans in and inhales my scent, a sinister smile mars his face. Memories of the first time he forced himself on me fly through my head. I’m powerless against this man.
“I’ve missed this smell. I’ve missed you,” Sledge growls against my ear, pushing his body against mine. I can feel the hardness in his jeans pushing against my stomach. I’m in so much trouble if I can’t get out of this.
“What about Siren and Poison?” I ask with trembling lips, attempting to hold back the vomit climbing its way up my throat.
“You mean those nosey bitches in the living room?” I nod my head. “They’ve been taken care of.”
He says it so nonchalantly that the fear gripping my heart melts away. Replaced by hate and anger. Hatred for what this man has done to my body, to my mind. Hatred for him taking away the one thing that was sacred to me. Hatred for all the years of physical and mental abuse. Rage blinds me. Rage for hurting my friends. Rage for every inappropriate touch, every time he drugged me and abused me so badly there were days I couldn’t walk.
Red dons my vision and I strike. Sledge didn’t see it coming and wasn’t prepared. I bring my knee up as hard as I can and connect with his balls. He hunches over howling in pain. I grab him by the back of his neck and slam my knee into his face. His nose crunches under the force and satisfaction seep into my soul.
“Bitch, you will die for that,” Sledge seethes through the blood trickling down his lips. He reaches for me but I dodge his slow advance. I need to get out before he catches me. “I’m going to fuck you then kill you, you filthy slut. I’m going to make you suck my cock after I fuck your filthy ass. Then I’ll watch the life drain from your eyes while I shoot come down your throat, squeezing your neck until you stop breathing. If you think what I’ve done to you before was bad, you ain’t fucking seen nothing yet.” Sledge roars and the hatred in his voice has my feet moving, sprinting for the door. I yank it open and run. Sledge’s heavy footstep is behind me and I pick up the pace. I run through the kitchen, out the back door and down the porch steps. I run into the woods as fast as I can. Sledge shouts for me, but his voice is drifting further and further away.
My adrenaline is wearing off and rational thoughts seep back into my mind. Shit! I left Poison and Siren with that psychotic asshole. Should I go back and help them? Yes. I need to go back and not let him hurt them the way he’s hurt me. I turn back towards the house with my mind made up. I wi
ll not let Sledge hurt my sisters. My legs are jelly with every step I take. My heart is hammering against my chest and I feel like I’m going to throw up. Dizziness passes over me and I need to lean against a tree to steady myself. My clothes are torn. Blood trickling from a deep gash in my arm from one of the branches scratching me during my escape.
Once it passes, I continue forward. One careful footstep at a time. Suddenly the urge to vomit overtakes me and I let it out. I wretch and sob, shaking uncontrollably, getting whatever’s in my system out. Another wave of dizziness takes hold. Black and white spots invade my vision and before I can stop myself, I fall. Hard. My face meets the dirt and leaves. I try to get up, but it’s no use. My arms are trembling and my legs have stopped moving. Spasms wreck my body leaving me weak.
This is it. This is the end. I didn’t even get to tell Stryker how I really feel. I didn’t tell Poison or Siren how much I cared for them. I didn’t get to tell Kayne or Blayde thank you for taking me in. Footsteps crunch on the dry leaves in the distance but I’m too weak to move. I close my eyes and welcome death.
Chapter 11
Holly
My mouth feels like lead. My head is pounding against my skull. What the hell happened to me? I attempt to sit up but nausea climbs its way up my throat and I put my head back down. The comforting scent of Stryker’s body wash fills my nose and I bury my head deeper into the pillow. A warm body presses against my back, strong arms surround my waist.
“How are you feeling?” Stryker’s deep voice rumbles against my neck.
“I’m OK. My head hurts. What happened?” I ask. I move my neck from side to side. I wiggle my toes under the blankets and check each part of my body from my legs to my neck. My arm is wrapped in a tight bandage and fire licks its way across it when I move. My head is pounding again from the movements. Bile climbs up my throat and I attempt to get up but Stryker’s still holding onto me. “I need to move,” I groan. I slap a hand over my mouth, trying to hold the vomit back.
Stryker must have sensed me being sick. He releases me and is by my side in a flash. He helps me up from the bed and into the bathroom. I lift the toilet seat lid and empty what little contents I had in my stomach. Retching hard, my head pounds even more, making me throw up again. Stryker holds my crazy hair back from my face and rubs my back soothingly. Once I’m done, I flush the toilet and lean against the wall. My body aches all over and an uncontrollable shiver wracks my body.
“Do you know what happened?” Stryker asks, sitting next to me. He wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into his warm, hard chest.
I think back to last night. Nothing comes to my mind right away. “No,” I shake my head. Frustration builds and my hands tremble. “I have no idea what happened. The only thing I remember is talking to Poison and going into my room. Where are they?”
“Siren is with Blayde and Poison is downstairs pissed off. Someone drugged them and tied them up in the garage.” Stryker leans his head against the wall. There’s something he isn’t saying but I let it go for now. My tired brain can’t comprehend anything. “Someone was here and drugged the three of you.”
“Where did you find me?” My voice is quiet. I’m afraid to know the answer. “Did I do something I shouldn’t have?”
Stryker’s body stiffens from my question and my heart slams against my chest. I pull away too quickly and my stomach threatens to make a reappearance. I dry heave into the toilet. Stryker rubs my back, but I push his hands away.
“Don’t touch me,” I cry through my raw throat. something’s wrong. Something’s really wrong. I stand up on shaky legs and stumble. Stryker’s arms wrap around my waist holding me steady against him. His heart is beating hard against my ear. “Let go. I need to leave.” I try to push away from him, but Stryker hold tightens.
“No.” One word from Stryker’s lips stops my struggle and I hang my head in defeat. “I’m not letting you go anywhere, Holly. We’re going to figure this out together.” He smooth’s my curly hair back from my face with one hand while holding me up with the other.
You’re a nasty pig. I’ll bet he has to have the lights off while he fucks you because of your disfigured body. He probably wants to vomit every time he touches you. You’re a disgusting whore.
I can’t stop the venom of Candy’s voice invading my mind. My hands shake even harder against Stryker’s chest. The urge to inflict pain upon myself is strong. I need to do something to relieve it. I need the teasing to go away. I look around the bathroom and spy Stryker’s razor sitting on the countertop.
“Can you give me a minute?” I ask. My voice is trembling with fear. He needs to leave so I can stop them. Stop the need to cut. Stop the voices.
“No, I can’t. I’m not letting you out of my sight. Something’s wrong Holly and we need to figure it out together. I’m not leaving you alone for even a minute.” I look up into his bright blue eyes. He knows what I want to do. I don’t know how, but he does.
Tears trickle down my cheeks and I can’t stop them from coming. Stryker picks me up and carries me into his bedroom. I cry even harder against his chest. What the hell is wrong with me? I need help. Professional help.
Stryker lays me down and settles next to me wrapping me in the warmth of his arms. The tears finally stop and exhaustion takes over. I succumb to the sleep pulling at the edges of my eyes and drift off.
Whispers in the darkness awaken me, but I lay still keeping my breathing even so they don’t know I’m awake.
“Is she going to be OK?” My spine stiffens a little from the female voice in the room.
“I don’t know,” Stryker’s deep voice rumbles against my back. He’s still here. Still holding me. “Something isn’t right, Poison. But I swear to fucking God I’m going to figure out who did this to her.”
Confusion wracks my brain. What is he talking about? Did what to me? I feel fine. My head isn’t hurting anymore, my stomach isn’t revolting. I feel like my old self.
“Does she remember him?” Poison whispers again.
“No. And until I have answers, I don’t want her to worry.” Stryker’s arms tighten around me, cradling me in his warm embrace.
“That’s not very smart, Stryker. He tried…” Poison’s voice trails off when his door opens.
“Fucking hell. Is my room a revolving door now?” Stryker grumbles.
“How is she?” Kayne enters the room. I can hear footsteps near the door. “We’re all worried.”
“And we should be. What they did to her is unbearable. How easily they infiltrated the Clubhouse and did what they did, we need to tighten security. We became lazy after we took care of Drex and The Black Destroyers. There are bigger enemies out there that we didn’t see.” Stryker releases me and sits up. I pretend I’m still asleep to see if they talk more. I need to know what happened and who did it.
“Where is you know who?” Stryker asks.
“Currently hog fucking tied, begging for death,” Poison hisses. “How did we not see the bitch?”
“Same way we didn’t see her doing what she did to Holly. We were too lazy.” Kayne growls.
OK, I’ve had enough. I need to know what the hell is going on and the only way they will answer me is if I quit burying my head in the sand and prove to them I can handle it. I roll to my side and blink my eyes open. There’s a soft glow coming from a lamp in the corner of the room. A flash of a memory appears in my head about using a lamp but it’s gone as quick as it came.
I sit up and stretch my arms, making sure my stomach will not make another reappearance.
“Now that you’ve all had your little pow-wow, tell me what the hell’s going on?” I pin Stryker with my best glare. It probably looks like someone kicked my puppy, but I do it anyway.
“Holly, I…” Stryker stops and takes a deep breath. He closes his eyes and rubs his temples.
“No, Stryker. The three of you are keeping me in the dark about something and I need to know what it is. I’m tired. I’m tired of not knowing. I’m ti
red of burying my head in the sand. I’m tired of not knowing.” My voice trails off at the end of my little spiel but I hold my head high. This is where I take back my life. Take back who I am.
“Someone here knows about your past. About where you came from.” Poison says from the corner of the room. She’s sitting in the chair and Kayne is standing next to her, his hand is on her shoulder offering her comfort.
“That’s impossible. I only told Stryker.” My eyes swing back to him.
His icy blue eyes are steady on me. “I never said a word, but we think we know who and now we need to know why and how.”
“What did they do to me?” I’m terrified at discovering the truth, but I need to know.
Stryker breaks eye contact with me and turns to Kayne, “Can you give us a few, Prez?”
“Yeah. We’ll be in the kitchen when you’re done.” Kayne helps Poison up from the chair. She leans heavily on him and limps out of the room, holding her arm around her waist.
Once the door closes Stryker turns to me. We’re sitting side by side on the bed, his shoulder brushes mine, sending a shiver down my spine.
“What happened?” I ask.
“I don’t want what I’m going to tell you we found to affect the progress you’ve made. That scares me the most. What I do for a living? Doesn’t bother me. The torture I inflict on someone? That gives me peace in my fucked-up head. Fighting in the ring? Centers my mind. But someone hurting you and me telling you about it, possibly making you spiral? That scares the hell out of me, Holly. You’ve become more than just a friend these past few years. Out of all the heartbreak, jealousy and asshole tendencies I’ve thrown your way, you’ve become someone important to me. Someone I want to build a life with.”
Stryker's Salvation (A Savage Saints MC Book 3) Page 9
