by JL Paul
She opened her mouth to tell him that it wasn’t a done deal since they hadn’t recorded it yet, but the unyielding look on his face stopped her.
“Fine,” she sighed. “Thanks. I really appreciate it and it will be fun to record together.”
“I know,” he said as the song ended. Planting a soft kiss on the top of her head, he grinned at her. “Happy birthday.”
“Thank you,” she said, holding in the wistful sigh. Giving her hand one last squeeze, he left her on the dance floor to join Chad at the bar.
***
Pushing the sunglasses up her nose, she leaned back in the chaise on Chad and Lexie’s deck, listening as the gulls shrieked overhead, arguing over something floating in the water, possibly, or else a piece of trash carelessly left on the beach.
The sun warmed her body, lulling her into a drowsy state while Chad and Rob talked baseball near the grill. Standing by the rail overlooking the hot sand, Lexie chatted away on her cell phone, talking about dresses and shows and caterers to someone – mostly likely Mel.
The little birthday bash Lexie had thrown for Sidney had been over for several days and now Lexie was pouring all of her planning talents into the studio party that would be held in a few weeks. As Sidney had never attended before, she was curious as to what sort of affair it would be. Lexie had assured her that, while it would be dressy, it would be nowhere near the ball gown, red carpet ordeal Sidney had imagined. Sidney was looking forward to it even though she wasn’t the dress-up sort of girl. And Melanie would more than likely be attending. With Rob.
Shading her eyes, she peered at Rob through the dark lenses of her glasses. He stood beside Chad in cargo shorts and a faded blue t-shirt that stretched across his chest. His hair curled in the back due to the sweat that had formed on the back of his neck.
As she watched, Rob shot her a wink as he and Chad disappeared into the house, talking about a guitar, almost certainly heading for Chad’s basement.
He was so beautiful to her. So perfect. Everything about him was wonderful. How in the world would she ever be able to look at him and not long for him?
She’d tried desperately to let go of her feelings but it wasn’t like letting go of the string to a helium balloon. Even though she’d told him that she was fine with what had happened between them, it stood out, in her heart, like a beacon on a stormy night.
He was going on that stupid couples cruise with Melanie in August. Lexie had told her. Lexie, ecstatic over the possibility of her best friend reconciling with her cousin, hadn’t been able to contain her excitement.
And Sidney was drowning in rough waters, reaching for that beacon, but not able to grab hold. How had she let this happen? What had she done?
Snapping forward, her breath seized in her chest, just as Lexie dropped into the chair beside her.
“Well, it looks like the finishing touches are almost done,” Lexie said, turning to smile at Sidney. The smile slipped off her face once she spotted her friend’s distressed look. “You okay, Sid?”
Swallowing, Sidney tried to nod. She sucked in oxygen in an effort to loosen the knot in her chest.
“What’s the matter?” Lexie asked, kicking her legs to the side of the chair, reaching for Sidney with uncertain hands. “Are you sick?”
“Oh, Lex,” Sidney groaned, her head spinning, tears threatening to spill. “What have I done?”
“I don’t know,” Lexie asked, her face a white mask of horror. “What did you do?”
Sidney scooted to the side of the chair, facing her friend. Swallowing over and over, she ducked her head. “I can’t keep this inside any longer. I need to talk to somebody. I need to talk to somebody who’ll listen and not judge.”
Aliza, Sidney thought. She should call Aliza. They’d met only once at the Center and had talked one additional time, but with Sidney’s busy schedule and her return to work, she hadn’t found a second to give the woman a call.
And she hadn’t told her about the Rob incident, either. Shame had prevented it but now, Sidney wished she would have gotten over herself and just confided in her counselor.
“Sid, you can tell me anything,” Lexie said, taking Sidney’s hands. “I’m your friend.”
Nodding, Sidney looked into Lexie’s concerned face as affection gushed up inside her. Yes, she could talk to Lexie. Although she’d considered Rob her best friend, Lexie had always been around, a true companion and someone whom Sidney thought could eventually be a confidant.
“I did something really stupid, Lex,” Sidney sighed. “I don’t know why. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“You didn’t…call that Grant guy, did you?” Lexie asked with wide eyes.
Shaking her head, Sidney took another large breath. “No, but I did something equally stupid.” Swallowing, she ducked her head, composed her face, and looked Lexie in the eyes. “I slept with Rob.”
There. She’d finally admitted it out loud. Something loosened slightly in her chest, allowing her to breathe a little freer. She could discuss it with Lexie, maybe get it in perspective and get over it.
And then she could move on.
“You, what?” Lexie whispered, mouth a perfect circle.
“I,” Sidney said, looking over her shoulder. No sign of Rob or Chad. “I slept with Rob. A couple of weeks ago.”
Lexie dropped Sidney’s hands as if they were on fire and stood so quickly that she sent her chair skittering. “You did? You slept with my cousin?”
“Yes,” Sidney hissed. “Keep it down, please. He didn’t want me to tell anyone.”
“I cannot believe this!” Lexie said, flames in her eyes. “What will Mel say? Oh, this is going to kill her!”
Sidney jumped to her feet and placed a hand on Lexie’s shoulder. “Lex, please, don’t tell her. I don’t want…”
“Don’t want what?” Lexie shot back, shaking Sidney’s hand away. “Don’t want Mel and Rob to be happy? Are you jealous of them? Of course you are! Rob’s a famous singer. Who wouldn’t want to be with him?”
“No, that’s not it,” Sidney tried to explain. She reached for Lexie again but the other woman jumped back.
“Stay away from me,” Lexie hissed. “I can’t believe I thought you were my friend. I can’t believe Melanie thought you were her friend!”
Lexie stormed through the patio doors, leaving Sidney alone on the deck, wondering what she’d done this time and how did she always manage to screw everything up.
Sixteen
Sidney remained frozen on the deck, the sun pounding on her head, the gulls still screeching. She knew none of it. Unaware of her surroundings, she stood in her spot, nibbling on her lip, wondering if she should find Rob and talk to him or just leave and wait for him at home.
“Hey, Rookie,” Rob said, stepping onto the deck with beer in hand and confusion on his face. He pointed over his shoulder. “What’s wrong with Lex? We heard her slamming doors and stomping on the floor so Chad went to see what was going on.”
She deflated, falling to the chair, angry, confused tears falling from her eyes. “Rob, I messed up. Again.”
“What?” he asked, sitting beside her. “What do you mean?”
Inhaling, she bit the bullet and let it all out. “I was freaking a little bit. I … I am just not sure… I mean, I messed everything up. I realize that. I should never have asked you to do what we did.”
“Whoa, slow down,” he said, glancing at the patio doors. “I thought you were okay with it?”
“I don’t know,” she said, running her hands through her hair. “I thought I was but then I was thinking about stuff and started to freak out. I tried to talk to Lex but she got all mad…”
“Wait,” he said, clutching her arm. “You tried to talk to Lex?”
Sidney nodded, biting her lip.
“You told her? About us?”
Again she nodded.
He swore. Loudly. He got out of the chair and walked a few steps away, his back to her. She released a breath and watche
d him until he spun around, anger spilling from his eyes.
“I thought we weren’t going to tell anyone, Sidney?” he said, inching closer. “I thought that was one of the rules.”
“I just…”
“But you turn around and tell Lexie? Mel’s best friend?”
His eyes took on a crazed look – one that told her he would not be reasoned with. Still, she had to try.
“I needed to talk to someone,” she said, feebly.
“Why not me?” he asked, his voice hoarse. “Or Aliza? That’s what we pay her for.”
“I don’t pay her,” Sidney said, suddenly angry. “She volunteers.”
“Well, I certainly make huge donations to that Center or hers just so she can fix you up,” he said, his features scowling into an ugly, angry mask. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“I don’t know, Rob,” Sidney said as her anger grew. She stood toe to toe to him, fury shaking her bones. “I don’t know. It’s a touchy situation with me, you know.”
“For you?” he asked in disbelief. “I did you a favor and how do you repay that? You blab to my cousin who most certainly will tell her best friend. You know her best friend – the ex-wife of mine that I am trying to get back together with?”
He could have punched her in the nose and the jaw and it still wouldn’t hurt as badly as his words.
Rising to her toes, she grabbed his t-shirt. “Well, maybe you can catch her in time and convince her not to tell Melanie. Then the two of you can sail away on that stupid cruise and live happily ever after. Me, on the other hand, I’m out of here.”
She shoved away from him and stormed through the house, grabbing her bag before leaving out the front door.
Walking as fast as she could without actually running, she hurried down the street to Rob’s house, wanting only to grab her things and leave before he could come home and continue the argument.
“Sidney,” Mrs. B called as Sidney jogged through the living room on her way to the stairs. “Sidney!”
Ignoring her, Sidney ran to her room and threw open the closet. Grabbing the bag on the shelf, Sidney began cramming the little clothes she had hanging into it before doing the same with the stuff in the dresser.
“Sidney,” Mrs. B said, standing in the doorway, trying to catch her breath. “What’s wrong? Where are you going?”
“I’m leaving,” Sidney declared as she jammed everything into the bag and struggled with the zipper. She dialed a number on her phone, asked for a cab service, and then waited for someone to answer while Mrs. B stammered and stuttered.
“You can’t leave,” Mrs. B said. “It’s not safe.”
Sidney gave the cab service the address and then shoved her phone into her pocket. “I’ll go to a hotel. I’ll be fine.”
“What happened?” Mrs. B demanded.
Sidney’s phone rang. She glanced at the screen, frowned, and then put it in her pocket. She brushed past Mrs. B in order to collect her things from the bathroom. She was certain that she was forgetting something but she didn’t much care. If it was something that she needed, she’d replace it. And Ross Records would foot the bill.
Once all her things were together, she stopped to hug Mrs. B. “Thanks for everything, but I have to go. I’m sure Rob will explain everything when he gets here. I’ll let him tell his side of the story.”
“Sidney,” Mrs. B pleaded, grabbing the girl’s hand. “Why don’t you wait and talk to him? You two will work this out.”
“No, not this time,” Sidney said. She pecked the older woman’s cheek before picking up her bag. “I have to go. My cab should be here in a few.”
She hurried down the stairs and out the door before the other woman could utter a word.
***
It wasn’t until she was settled into a tiny room at a local hotel that she caught her breath. She sank to the edge of the bed, staring at her reflection on the blank TV screen, listening to her phone ring, once again, in her pocket. Probably Chad. He’d called several times but she hadn’t answered. She didn’t want to argue with him, too. By this time, he probably knew everything.
Feeling like a coward for fleeing, Sidney held her head in her hands. How was she going to face everyone on Monday? She had to work. She couldn’t quit.
Yes, you can, a voice inside her head said. You’ve saved up enough to last you a month at least. You can always find another job at one of the thousands of studios. Plus, when your CD is released, you’ll be set.
The voice was right, but Sidney couldn’t see herself working for another studio. Not to mention that it was probably a conflict of interest for her to work for another label when she had a CD coming out with Ross Records.
She would just have to gut it out somehow.
Digging her laptop out of the bottom of the bag, she logged into the Ross Records scheduling program and looked at Rob’s schedule.
He was pretty booked the upcoming week with morning and afternoon meetings. It was a busy season as Ross Records had several new artists either releasing or just having released CDs. There were videos to shoot, appearances to arrange, and tours to book. She might get lucky and manage to avoid him this week. And the following week, he was leaving with Chad to check out new talent on the east coast.
Lexie might be a problem, though.
Nibbling her lip, Sidney sat the laptop aside. No, it didn’t have to be a problem. Sidney didn’t work a whole lot with Lexie. They didn’t usually see much of each other unless one sought the other out. She’d be able to hide out in Rob’s office while Rob was away and when he was there, she could always do some work from home.
She glanced at the cramped hotel room with the wobbly table next to the window.
Home sweet home, she sighed.
***
A cab dropped her off at the garage entrance Monday morning, shortly after nine. She waved to Moe; the attendant that morning, before scanning Rob’s assigned parking spot for his car.
“Morning, Sidney,” Moe said as he let her through the walkway. “Cabbing it today?”
“Yes,” she said, not wanting to get into specifics with Moe.
He nodded. “Figured as much. Mr. Rob was in and out early this morning.”
“How about Chad?” she asked in as nonchalant a manner as she could.
“Nope,” Moe said. “I suppose Mr. Rob picked him up for a meeting or something.”
“Probably,” Sidney said with a relieved smile. “Have a good day.”
“You, too.”
She got into the elevator, praying that Lexie would be in her office and not wandering the halls when the elevator doors opened.
Luck was finally on Sidney’s side that morning. When the elevator deposited her, no one was in the halls. She hurried to her locker, tossed her bag inside, and then ran to Rob’s office, locking the door behind her. She rechecked his schedule, thrilled to see that Rob had added a lunch meeting, and then got to work.
That Monday set precedence for the rest of her week. She managed to avoid all three of them and only communicated to them when necessary and that was through digital means. It sucked, for sure, but it was the only way that she could see being able to keep her job. And it seemed to be working as it was becoming more and more obvious that Rob, Chad, and Lexie were avoiding her, too.
It hurt her to know that none of them wanted to speak to her or to set things straight. But she’d been the one to initiate the situation when she’d inadvertently asked Rob to sleep with her.
The first weekend after the blowout was lonely. She sat in her room, browsing the Internet or watching boring television. She longed to hang out on Rob’s deck with her friends or maybe go to Woody’s for a drink. But she couldn’t. She was stuck right where she was. She didn’t dare venture out on her own for fear of Grant. If only he’d slip up and get caught, then she could find a quiet little pub and maybe make some new friends.
The thought made her lonelier than ever. She really didn’t want new friends. She missed the ones tha
t she’d had.
Were they really true friends?
“Of course they were,” she muttered aloud.
Sure, that’s why they all abandoned you when you were distressed.
“I started it all,” Sidney argued. “I was the one to sleep with Rob. And then I told Lexie after I’d promised that I wouldn’t.”
Real friends would seek you out – try to work through the problems. Real friends wouldn’t abandon you. Especially with some freak on the loose.
“They didn’t abandon me. I abandoned…” She groaned. “Oh, what the hell? I’m arguing with a voice in my head?”
With another groan, she crossed the room to the window and peered out at the traffic from her spot on the fourth floor. She’d left Woodridge Beach and had found a room in the neighboring hill community of Peak. Not as affluent, it was still nice. The hotel, while cramped, was clean and the staff friendly. She wasn’t sure how long she planned to stay there – hadn’t exactly thought things through before leaving Rob’s house. She’d have to start looking for a place of her own. Maybe an apartment in a secure building – one with a doorman and a buzzer and stuff like that.
I’ll start looking tomorrow, she thought as she drifted to the phone to order room service. Once that was done, she headed for the shower and another lonely evening in front of the TV.
***
The next Monday was ten times better. Rob and Chad had left early that morning for a scouting trip in New York. Lexie had gone with them, wanting to spend a little time with Melanie in the Big Apple. Sidney was able to come and go as she pleased without worrying that she’d run into any of them.
She wondered, as she sat in Rob’s office, his scent permanently infused into the leather of his chair, if he would be spending time with Melanie as well. Perhaps they were making plans for their trip together. Perhaps they were buying matching beach towels and bathing suits.
Groaning, she pushed the laptop away in order to bang her head on his desk.
“What kind of company has couples cruises?” she asked the wood. “And who looks for that kind of thing, anyway?”
Face pressed firmly against the smooth surface of the wood, she didn’t hear the door open until someone cleared their throat.
