by Marian Tee
Lying on the sand, I turned to my side and gazed at the woods. Autumn had just started, but the trees were all dead, branches thinning into leaf-less sticks. When I had passed it, there weren’t any birds either, as if the winged creatures knew only death awaited them here.
Time moved ever so slowly, and when I checked my phone, I was stunned that only five minutes had passed.
I slept.
When I woke up, Katarina was seated beside me, knees drawn up. She had her back to me, but I could see her shoulders were shaking.
“Katarina?” My voice was a low strained whisper. What would I do if she really were crying?
Wordlessly, she turned to me—
Katarina’s entire face was gone, leaving behind a gaping skull blackened by fire. Your fault, this is all your fault, YOUR FAULT—
She lunged for me.
I screamed.
ZARI!
ZARI!
And then I felt it, Alexandru shaking my body, hauling me out of my nightmare.
My eyes flew open.
Was I really awake this time?
“Zari,” Alexandru said hoarsely.
And then he was hauling me into his arms, and relief slammed into me as I felt the familiar heat of his body.
Thank God.
I didn’t even think of refusing the comfort my Master offered. I wrapped my arms around his neck as tightly as I could. I listened to his still-thunderous heartbeat, inhaled his scent, and pressed my hand against his chest. I did everything I could, feverishly, to assure myself that this was not another nightmare.
Before I realized what was happening, I had already started to cry, the tears falling silently down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry, pet.” My Master’s voice was raw. “I’m sorry for shouting at you.”
I shook my head against his chest. I deserve it. I didn’t dare speak yet. I was afraid if I did, I would find myself crying harder and the tears would never stop.
Guilt remained a crushing weight inside me, forcing me down into a bottomless pit of despair. I squeezed my eyes shut, but it was pointless. All I could see were my visions.
The school, razed to the ground…
Katarina, dying in front of me…
What if I really was the reason she would die?
What if she wasn’t the only one who’d die?
What if everyone in school died…and just because I was exactly what Rhapsody said – someone who loved a man who might not be able to love me in return?
Would I let everyone die just because of that?
My fingers tightened on Alexandru’s shirt. Master.
Alexandru stilled. What is it, pet?
I need to talk to Katarina. Alone.
Chapter Four
ZARI
That night, Katarina and I met in a private room in one of the resort’s restaurants. One of Alexandru’s guards accompanied me, and I watched silently as he performed a spell that would ensure whatever Katarina and I spoke of in this room, no one would hear.
The guard walked back to us and held out an empty chalice.
Katarina reached down, and I blinked when she came up with a pocketknife. Where could she have hidden that, I wondered absently. She was dressed in a one-shouldered tight-fitting gown, and I hadn’t even seen the barest outline of a knife under the silk.
I had dressed for the occasion, too, but next to her and her C-cups, I looked more like a boy pretending to be a girl.
Katarina noticed my gaze on her knife. As if she sensed my curiosity, she explained, “I hid it in one of my shoes.”
I frowned.
“I literally step on it all the time.”
What?
Pulling the knife out of its sheath, she said, “This one, I use for ordinary stuff.” She pricked her finger with the tip of the blade and a drop of her blood fell into the chalice.
I gulped. This was ordinary stuff for her?
“The knife on my left foot, on the other hand, that’s for killing demons. Its blade is dipped with poison.” As she spoke, Katarina twirled the knife in her hand before handing it to me, with the blade pointed at her for my safety.
I hesitated. Who knew if she had used preternatural powers to trick me into thinking that this was the same knife?
“Lady Zari.” Katarina’s voice was gentle. “Do you truly believe your Master would ever like someone able to commit cold-blooded murder without just cause?”
I took the knife from her hand. Pricking myself made me suck in my breath, and I was shaking by the time the guard walked away with my blood. “Thank you,” I mumbled as I gave the blade back to her.
The guard completed the spell with our blood and bowed to us afterwards before leaving. When we were alone, Katarina asked, “Alexandru says you wanted to talk to me?”
Something about her voice made me look at her. She hadn’t been…as cold as this before, when we first met.
“Are you actually angry with me?”
Reaching for her wine, she asked lightly, “Why do you sound so shocked?”
I shrugged awkwardly. “Probably because, I dunno…maybe because you’re centuries old, I’m eighteen, and it’s like getting mad at a baby?”
She laughed. “Oh, Lady Zari. You of all people should know that love has the power to make children of us all. Brats really, with the way it can make us selfish, greedy, and…” Her voice lowered a notch. “Shameless.”
My cheeks burned at the subtle dig, but I didn’t deny it. I had been shameless in the way I had blown up on Alexandru, and I would only act more like a kid if I couldn’t make myself accept that.
I said stiffly, “That’s not what I want to talk about.”
“I know.”
Again, she surprised me. “Y-you do?”
She nodded. “It’s been clear to me from the first day that you’re the type who dislikes confrontations.”
I tried not to grimace.
“You’re the type who’d rather suffer in silence than admit someone’s hurt you.”
“Congratulations then,” I said flatly. “You’ve got me all figured out.”
Her lips curved. “I do.” She paused. “Which is why I also know the only reason you’d want to talk to me is because of your visions.” Her eyes remained steady on me as she asked, “You’ve seen me, haven’t you?”
“Yes.” I was pale and shaking in my seat, doing my best not to remember, doing my best not to surrender to the crushing weight of guilt.
Silence.
“And it’s not good.”
Her voice was so calm. How could she sound so calm when I realize now that she really had figured me out, that she knew what I had to say even without me speaking a word? How?
“I’m sorry.” I choked the words out.
“I doubt it’s your fault.”
I shook my head. “You don’t understand—”
“No, Lady Zari. It’s not your fault.” Her voice turned gentle, and I remembered then that she wasn’t just the woman who I was jealous of. She was also a hunter, bound to protect the innocent, and a healer, committed to saving lives.
I remembered that she was a good person, and it was because of me a good person like her would die.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” My voice was thick with unshed tears. If Katarina weren’t going to seek comfort in tears, then I wouldn’t either.
“Lady Zari, I mean it. I’ve been around long enough to know the truth. If Death wishes to claim me, it will, and there’s no stopping it.”
“I n-never wished you were dead, Lady Katarina. I’d never—”
“I know.” She paused. “Do you…do you know when it might happen?” She held her hand out as she asked, which showed just how much she knew about soul seers.
Shakily, I reached out to grasp her hand.
~~~~
Burning hot, the flames dancing, rejoicing as it reached new heights and turned the world into orange.
Everywhere, it was orange.
In the distance, I s
aw the school.
I ran towards it even as the walls of the school crumbled, one after another. It was falling apart before my eyes, the roof crashing down, the floors giving out, and—
I covered my ears as I heard it for the first time.
Screams.
Hundreds of human pets screaming—
Burning—
Dying—
And at the center of it all was Katarina.
She too was screaming, burning, dying.
And it was all because of me.
I forced myself to move even as I sobbed. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” I tried to search for a clue, wiping the tears and ashes constantly from my eyes as I did. I had so little time left before I had to go back or burn with this world.
Praying for strength, I took a deep breath and jumped through one of the doorways. Fear engulfed me, my skin melting under the heat, but I ignored the pain and doggedly searched for a clue.
This was not real, I told myself. This was not real.
I stumbled towards the reception area, the pain crippling, and I started to gasp for breath.
I fell on the counter and began rummaging. A slip of paper caught my eye, an appointment note that had the date encircled—
~~~~
I tore out of my visions with a gasp, and I could only nod in thanks as I took the glass of water Katarina held out. The icy cold water relieved the irritating and burning sensation in my throat. Even now, I could feel the sting of smoke on my eyes, the way the heat cooked my skin, and the pain, oh God, the excruciating pain.
Katarina didn’t say a thing, only watching me patiently, carefully.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
She froze. “A year then? A month?”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry.” I didn’t think I could ever say it enough. “You don’t even have a week.”
“Oh.” Her eyes turned glassy with shock. “I s-see.” She leaned back against her seat. “But these visions…” It was my first time to hear her sound so hesitant. “They don’t always happen, yes?”
I nodded vehemently. “We can do something to stop it.”
“Yes. Definitely.” But she didn’t sound like she believed me.
I bent my head down, and it was all I could do not to let my shoulders droop even as the weight of my guilt became heavier and heavier.
Even now it was unclear.
How it would happen, why it had to be her, what it had to do with me…
But one thing was certain.
Whatever happened, her death would be my choice.
I would choose whether she lived or died.
“Lady Zari?”
My head jerked up. “Y-yes?”
“Were you always able to prevent your visions from happening?”
I almost didn’t answer, but in the end, I knew I had no right to withhold the truth. And so I whispered, “No.”
“Then I really may die.”
“Yes.”
“And I have barely a week left?”
I nodded.
“Then…if that’s so…could you please give me Alexandru back while I’m still alive?”
Chapter Five
ALEXANDRU
They set out early to hunt the next day, him and his pet, with Katarina to serve as their medic along with Erou and his team of enforcers. If anyone asked, the official answer was that Zari’s Master simply wanted her with him to ensure he was on hand if she ever fainted again.
He turned over his shoulder and saw Zari and the baby vampire talking in low whispers, their heads bent. His lips tightened. He was not the kind of man to stand by and just watch his pet, his woman – and Zari was his, will always be his – be seduced by another man.
But this was different.
She had been different, ever since she stepped out of the door, white-faced and unwilling to talk to him. Katarina had managed a smile for him, but her eyes were glassy. He had seen that look on her once, and it was the day before she had left him. She was hiding something from him again, and he had a feeling it was a secret she shared with Zari.
“Talk to me.” He sat on the edge of the tub, washing Zari’s back.
His pet only shook her head.
“Don’t make me force it out of you.”
“I’ll hate you forever if you do.” She looked up at him, and he was stunned to see in her eyes that she did mean it.
But he saw something else, too.
Guilt.
And that was when he realized the demon already had its claws in its next victim.
Someone tapped him on the shoulder.
“Hunter.” His voice was chilly as he acknowledged Katarina even before turning to look at her.
Katarina winced. “Ouch.”
He knew it was an attempt to regain their old camaraderie, but it didn’t work.
Her smile faded.
Once, such a sight would have been heartbreaking. He could remember the days when just the thought – the memory – of it would have made his chest tighten. And that had been as recent as a month ago, Alexandru thought. But now it did nothing to him. Now, he knew that he had changed as well. Now, he realized that for so long a time, he had clung to the memories – even when the love had faded – out of pride.
He no longer loved her.
Katarina.
He could say it freely now, and it did not hurt.
Alexandru turned to her, blindly, his chest heavy with regret.
Their eyes met, and a stricken look crossed her face. No. She walked past him, nearly running.
He went after her.
She deserved that from him now at least.
Katarina, wait.
Don’t call me that. Her voice was a sob in his mind, and Alexandru’s fists clenched. Even though she no longer had a claim to his heart, it did not erase the fact that she had been a large part of his life. He didn’t like seeing her hurt, would never stand by if he ever saw her in pain.
Katarina—
I said, don’t call me that. Call me a hunter, call me a bitch – call me anything but that if you can’t say it like you used to.
They were in the woods now, the same woods that he had torn past in order to reach his pet when she had been trapped in her nightmares. It was one of the greatest hazards of being a soul seer. Visions lent more power to nightmares, turning them into murderous weapons.
Ahead of him, Katarina stumbled.
He was by her side in a second, knowing that a skilled huntress like her would only lose her footing like that for one of two reasons. She was dying…or she had her heart cut off, the way she had cut off his when she had left.
Slowly, he helped her up. Katarina, I’m sorry.
She closed her eyes tight. I don’t want to hear you say it.
I no longer have to.
She released a strangled sob. How can you be so sure you won’t love me again?
I know—
But you haven’t given me a chance—
I know. He spoke with both certainty and remorse because he did not want to give her any false hope.
Did you ever love me, Alexandru? She was crying now, beating his chest. I feel like such a fool. You didn’t really love me, did you? You only told yourself you did because you needed me while you haven’t met her yet – your heartkeeper—
She sagged against his chest, her tears soaking his shirt.
Perhaps I did need someone to save me from myself all those years, but do you not realize? It could have been anyone else, but my heart chose you.
Katarina released a keening cry at his words.
So, yes, if you need to hear it, I loved you. With every thought, every beat of my heart, I loved you—
Katarina sank to her knees, and he followed her, cupping her face so she would see in his eyes that he spoke the truth.
I love you, too, Alexandru. I never stopped, so how can you stop—
“Because you left me.” This time, he spoke the words out loud, not to hurt but to have her hear the tr
uth and make her realize just how big the hole she had left in his life – the hole he had been unable to fill until his pet stumbled into his life, a half-naked slave who ended up stealing the heart of her owner.
“If you had not left, we would have been happy together. But you did, and somewhere along the way, it faded. And I hadn’t known until today, until it was completely gone…” He looked into her eyes. “…and I realized that my heart already belongs to my pet.”
ZARI
“You’re not going after them?” Erou asked.
I shook my head, not even looking their way as I heard their footsteps fade.
Erou stopped walking. “What’s going on?” he asked quietly. “All this time, you’ve been talking to me about silly things—”
I reddened. It was the truth. I had babbled endlessly, just so I wouldn’t think about the fact that Alexandru and Katarina were walking side by side – and there was nothing I could do.
And then she ran away, I thought nastily, leaving him no choice but to—
I paled when I realized where my thoughts were heading.
Again.
Was this how it started, I wondered crazily. Jealousy, vindictiveness, and finally murder? If I thought about it now, I couldn’t see myself killing Katarina simply because Alexandru loved her. I just couldn’t. But what if I did end up doing it? I was already changing, unable to recognize myself. Who knew how much worse it would get?
“Lady Zari? Is everything all right?”
I forced myself to nod. “Let’s not wait for them,” I muttered. “They know where to meet us.” I started walking, not bothering to wait for him.
Faster and faster I walked, trying to outrun the guilt, but it was impossible. It dogged my footsteps, and its weight grew heavier on my shoulders as we neared the hospital where I had the vision.
