by Lenora Worth
“What’s got you looking so sad?”
Kellie shook her head. No way would she admit to her loneliness, or her growing feelings toward Ryan. “What was your fiancée like?”
He looked surprised by her question, but thoughtful. “Sara was like a ray of sunshine. She made everything more fun, and everything she touched seemed golden. You would have liked her. Everyone did.”
Kellie smiled. “How’d you two meet?”
“Youth group. Even though we went to the same high school, church was where we got to know each other. She was a couple of years younger than me but we clicked right away. Even then, I knew I’d marry her.” A shadow of pain crossed his face but this time, he didn’t hide it.
“High school sweethearts.” Her heart pinched with envy. What would it feel like to be the center of that kind of affection, that kind of real love?
He nodded. “Pretty much. What about you?”
“What about me?” She didn’t want to get into her disastrous swim in the dating pool. She’d always given too much too quickly.
Ryan gave her a wry glance. “No boyfriends?”
Kellie snorted. “You really think I’d be out here with you if I had one of those?”
Ryan grinned. “You make it sound like a disease.”
“Yeah, well for me, they are. I’m not about to catch any, that’s for sure.”
“Why not?”
Why, indeed. Because it hurt too much to be disappointed over and over. Because she hated waiting for her phone to ring. Because she wanted love too much and never got there.
Instead of answering, she shrugged and looked away.
“You’re a beautiful woman, Kellie. Any guy would be beyond blessed to have you.”
A shiver raced up her spine, but she wouldn’t look at him. “Thanks, but I’ve dated enough who didn’t agree.”
“I’m glad.” His voice was super soft and teasing. “Ups the chances for me.”
Kellie looked at him then, and he gave her a wink. Her heart stopped beating for a moment. He couldn’t be serious, could he? Ryan was still hung up on his dead fiancée. Maybe he only flirted with her to make her feel good. And she liked it far too much to let him get away with it. “Not if those chances are zero.”
“Ouch.”
She gave him a wide grin and he laughed.
Rubbing her arms, Kellie looked around. They were pretty far from shore. “It’s getting late. We should head back.”
“If you want to.” Like a kid on the playground, Ryan didn’t sound like he wanted to go in.
She didn’t either, but knew they should. Scooping up her paddle, she gently turned around to face the front of the canoe. “I have to or I’ll never get up in the morning.”
Ryan started paddling. His strokes were long and even, propelling the canoe forward at a quick clip. “Maybe you should give me your number so I can give you a wake-up call.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t.” She laughed.
Ryan’s interest might be a sign that he was finally moving on. If so, good for him. But would it be good for her? Would he be good for her? That was something she couldn’t answer. Not yet.
* * *
Monday evening, Kellie climbed into her car and clicked up the heat. Rubbing her hands together, she conceded that Indian summer was definitely over. She also had to admit she was rushing out of LightHouse Center more because she wanted to see Ryan than to help Dorrie. She flipped down the visor and checked her image in the mirror. A little lip gloss wouldn’t hurt.
Ever since canoeing late Thursday night, Ryan had been nothing but friendly on the work site. They had both worked Friday night and put in a long day on Saturday to finish hanging the drywall. Ryan’s brother had shown up with a handful of men, so the work had gone quickly.
Not once had Ryan flirted with her. She’d been grateful but had experienced a bout of disappointment, too. Still, they’d talked about themselves nonstop while finishing up the drywall. Kellie told him how much she loved bike-riding, especially on off-the-beaten-path kind of trails. And Ryan had confessed to a recent interest in fishing since moving to the lake. They had joked around but steered clear of any hints of a relationship. No promises or wishes. Nothing serious.
It had been great. Easy. And yet whenever anyone mentioned the regrettable end to their summerlike weather, they’d exchange a look. Paddling a canoe on the lake by the light of that big ol’ harvest moon was a secret they shared. One she cherished. One Kellie hoped Ryan did, too.
She’d kept up her end of their prayer pact, even though praying for Ryan wasn’t easy. Kellie prayed for Ryan’s continued healing, but she worried that God might ignore her selfish prayers. Her motivation in saying them was more for her sake than Ryan’s. She prayed that God would make Ryan into a man she could believe in. A man she could trust.
When she finally stepped into Dorrie’s house, she was nearly toppled over by Gracie’s bear hug.
“Aunt Kellie!”
“About time you got here, slacker.” Ryan grinned.
Kellie laughed off his comment as she returned her younger niece’s embrace. “What’s the work duty today, crew chief?”
“Finishing the drywall edges with corner bead and then taping the seams. You shouldn’t get too dirty.”
Kellie looked down at Gracie’s chalky white nose. “What have you been doing, miss?”
“Wiping walls like Ryan said.”
Kellie glanced at Ryan.
He shrugged. “Something to keep her busy.”
“Good call.”
Lately, her nieces asked for stuff to do from Ryan instead of Dorrie. He told them his tasks were jobs he couldn’t trust to just anyone, and that made the girls feel important. One more reason for her heart to swell toward the man.
Beth had told her that Ryan was one of the good ones. Kellie believed her, but good ones still fell. When would that happen with Ryan? If the other night’s struggle was any indication, Ryan had given up drinking. But was it for good?
Working alongside him, they attached the corner bead and then screwed it in place. It wasn’t hard work, not like the drywall that was heavy and awkward, and needed to be adjusted and cut for outlets. They moved along at a good pace. Cutting a piece of metal corner bead, Kellie reached across the stand to lay down the tin snips. She wasn’t paying attention, nor wearing her gloves.
“Ahhhh.” She pulled her hand back too late. The slice was quick and sharp, but she couldn’t tell how deep because blood pooled in her palm.
“Let me see.” Ryan reached for her hand.
She did what he asked but closed her eyes. Blood wasn’t something she took well. She felt the light scrape of him wiping her palm with a paper towel.
He muttered under his breath.
Kellie opened her eyes. “What was that?”
He gave her a crooked smile. “I left the first aid kit in the trailer outside. Can you walk with me?”
“I hurt my hand, not my legs. Of course, I can walk.”
He chuckled, pressed the paper towel into her palm and curled her fingers around it, keeping it in place. “You look a little green.”
“That’s because this is gross.”
“Good thing you didn’t go into medicine. I don’t think you need stitches, but it still needs to be cleaned. Come with me.” He grabbed a bottle of water, told a group working in the dining room where they were going and then headed outside.
She followed him to the builder’s trailer with its roll top door left open because it wasn’t raining today. The sky was overcast, and the cold air carried with it a damp chill. Kellie shivered. She hadn’t thought to grab her jacket.
She climbed up the metal steps and went inside. It was a pretty small space considering that it housed tools and building materials. Shelves co
vered both sides from the floor to ceiling.
Ryan flipped on the overhead light that ran off the generator they used for electricity. “Have a seat.”
She hopped onto a stool while Ryan located the first aid kit and a roll of paper towels. When he had those, he pulled another stool very close—right in front of her.
He looked into her eyes. “You want to pull that off or do you want me to?”
She offered him her hand, palm up. The paper towel she gripped had turned red. “You do it.”
Gently, he cupped her hand with his own and eased off the makeshift bandage. It stung and she shivered again—from the cold or the feel of Ryan’s fingers on her skin, she wasn’t sure.
“You okay?”
She scrunched her nose as she looked at her cut hand cradled in his. The bleeding had slowed down. She shivered again.
“Hang on.” He stood up and stripped off his flannel shirt and then draped it around her shoulders. The fabric carried his warmth along with his woodsy scent.
She clutched the shirt closer with her good hand and breathed deep. “Thanks.”
He still wore a long-sleeved thermal shirt that clung to his chest and arms, showing off the breadth of his shoulders.
Wow.
He caught her gawking and gave her a lopsided smile. His cheeks actually flushed a little.
Kellie looked away. “What now?”
“Hold this under your hand.” He scrunched up a bunch of paper towels and poured water over her hand to rinse the cut. Blotting it dry, he examined her palm.
“Well?”
“You’ll live.”
“Good guesswork, Sherlock. Will a Band-Aid suffice so I can get back to work in there?”
He clicked his tongue. “No. It needs to be wrapped. And you should probably get it checked out and maybe get a tetanus shot, too. You sliced it on metal.”
She looked into his serious face. He wasn’t kidding. He was worried about her and that felt...nice. She watched the muscles in his arms tighten as he opened a little brown bottle of hydrogen peroxide. She managed to answer, but it came out a rough whisper. “I’ll be fine.”
“I hope so. This is going to sting.”
Kellie nodded for him to go ahead and douse her palm. Boy, oh, boy was he right. She nearly jumped off the stool but watched his every move instead.
He gave her hand a quick squeeze, as he again blotted it dry. Then he let go in order to drizzle triple antibiotic cream onto a rectangular piece of gauze. Placing that on her palm, he wrapped it with more gauze and then taped it secure.
It seemed like forever and then he was done in an instant. She flexed her hand. “Feels good. I should be able to fit my glove over it, no problem.”
“I don’t know. You put pressure on it and it’s likely to start bleeding again. Maybe you should call it a night.”
She glanced down, noticing again how close they were. Ryan’s knees protectively straddled her own. She looked up and whispered, “Thank you for taking care of this. No way could I have done it.”
He brushed a curl back from her face. “You’re welcome.”
Awareness radiated between them and Kellie swallowed hard. Ryan leaned forward and grazed his lips against hers with the lightest touch. Then he jerked his head back and looked at her again with eyes that searched hers.
Kellie’s toes curled inside her bulky work boots. Was he asking permission, giving her a chance to tell him no or what? Her heart pounded but the rest of her might as well have been paralyzed. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t breathe and she certainly couldn’t form the words to tell Ryan to back off.
Ryan gave her a sly little smile before moving in close. This time, he kissed her with thorough purpose. He kissed deeply but with such tenderness, she wanted to cry.
Only their mouths anchored them together, but their souls had somehow linked, too, and Kellie couldn’t think.
There was only him. There was only her.
She shuddered, and Ryan’s arms came around her, pulling her close.
“It’s okay, Kel,” he murmured against her lips. “Let it happen.”
Kellie pulled back as memories flooded her brain. The only other person who’d called her Kel was her brother, Karl. He’d let her down and stopped loving her. Her brother had cared more about his next high than his little sister.
* * *
Ryan let go when he felt Kellie push away. His pulse still thundered in his ears. His heart raced. And his mind twisted with concern. He wasn’t sorry for kissing Kellie, not one bit. But looking into her remorse-filled eyes, he knew she wasn’t happy with what had just happened between them. They’d crossed the line.
“Before you say anything, I know I shouldn’t have done that.”
Kellie closed her eyes and shook her head. “No, it’s okay. It’s my fault.”
“How’s it your fault?” He couldn’t believe his ears.
“I let it happen.” She spun on the stool away from him and hopped off.
Without a word, Kellie walked to the open trailer door and peered out into the dusky evening. Her shoulders slumped and she wrapped her arms around her middle, looking small and cold.
“Kellie...” He heard car doors slam and the crunch of feet on gravel along with feminine laughter. The church ladies had brought dinner. “Did anyone see us?”
“I don’t think so.”
He stepped close and stood behind her. “I meant that kiss.”
“Don’t.” Her voice was low and scratchy-sounding.
If only he knew what she was feeling. He knew what he felt. Something he hadn’t experienced in a long time. Not since Sara. He touched her shoulder. “But I care about you.”
“Not now you can’t.”
“Come on, you’re almost done at LightHouse Center.”
She turned on him. “But you’re not. And that’s a problem. A big problem, don’t you see?”
He didn’t. She’d called it a conflict of interest. No, ethics. But she wasn’t his counselor, so what was the big deal? He wasn’t about to let her go but knew better than to push. He had some soul-searching of his own to do. Was he ready for this?
He gave her a stiff nod. “So, we’ll wait.”
She narrowed her gaze, looking like she wanted to say more, but the sounds of someone walking toward them stopped her.
Even in the uneven light shed from the trailer’s single lightbulb, Ryan saw the color drain from Kellie’s face. Maybe she’d lost more blood than he thought. He reached out a hand to steady her, but she jumped down off the platform and walked toward the man approaching them. A man he’d never seen before.
Ryan felt the hairs on his neck rise with an eerie tingle. Who was this guy, and had he seen them inside that trailer?
“Hi, Kel,” the man said.
Ryan stepped off the trailer and moved toward them. Something didn’t feel right, and he clenched his fists, ready to take the guy down if he so much as laid a finger on Kellie.
“What are you doing here?” Kellie’s voice was barely above a whisper.
“Mom and Dad told me about the house for Dorrie. They said where I could find you. I want to see my kids.”
Ryan’s mouth dropped open. This slick guy with the I’m-all-that stance was her brother, the drug addict?
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Kellie said.
Ryan stood next to her and fought the urge to wrap his arm around her. She still had on his shirt and clutched it close. “Hey.”
“Ryan, this is my brother, Karl.”
Karl reached out a hand. “Ryan.”
They looked alike up close, although Karl was taller and appeared way older than his sister, but was it more years or experience that distinguished him? Even though his crisp jeans and fine knit sweate
r looked expensive, the guy seemed downtrodden. Defeated even. Considering what Ryan had learned in group, he shouldn’t hold that against Karl, but he did. Because he’d hurt Kellie.
Ryan finally shook the guy’s hand but with a little show of strength. “Karl. What’s up?”
Karl looked from Kellie to him and then back again.
Kellie wasn’t explaining anything. “You can’t just show up and expect Dorrie to welcome you. Why didn’t you call?”
Her brother shrugged. “I thought if you saw me, maybe you’d plead my case.”
“Not here, and not tonight. You should come home with me, now.”
Karl glanced at him, looking for support.
Ryan wasn’t giving it. He squared his shoulders, ready for anything the guy might do. “You better go with your sister. Without her say so, you aren’t getting near Dorrie or her girls.”
Karl’s face flushed red with rage. “They’re my kids!”
Ryan kept his mouth shut and his gaze strong. He was too close to pointing out that Karl should have thought of that before he left them to fend for themselves.
Karl made a move toward him.
Kellie stepped between them. “Karl, don’t make a scene. Let’s go.”
“Fine.” Karl stalked off toward his car—a nice Lexus sedan that didn’t look old.
Whatever the guy did for a living, it couldn’t be that bad. A strong urge to pound the guy hit him as he recalled how Dorrie struggled financially. Nice. Real nice.
Kellie turned toward him. “Let me tell Dorrie my own way, okay? Don’t say anything about this.”
“I’ll go with you.” Ryan didn’t like Kellie leaving alone, but the guy was her brother. He wouldn’t do anything crazy, would he?
Kelly shook her head. “You’re needed here.”
“But—”
She laid her hand on his arm. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”
Ryan nodded and headed back to the house after he watched her car pull out on to the road followed by her brother’s fancy sedan. He prayed for Kellie ever since her job interview and tonight would be no different, other than this urgency for God to protect her.
Once inside, everyone gathered around the card tables set up in the kitchen and filled their plates with food.
