by Edie Ramer
“Sure,” she said slowly. She remembered Elsa’s words and decided part of her new life would be taking chances.
Trey asked if she liked Thai food. She said yes. Jim was a meat and potatoes kind of guy – like her dad and his dad were before he died.
But now she could eat anything she wanted, any time she wanted.
Trey said there was a Thai place in Tomahawk, and she recalled seeing it, not far from the restaurant where she’d eaten with Derek last night.
“No need to pick me up,” she said. “I can drive down and meet you there.”
“I’ll pick you up.” His voice was firm.
Though she’d made up her mind that no man was going to tell her what to do, her mouth curved in a silly smile.
A man picked a woman up when he was pretty sure he wanted more than a dinner companion.
“Is five-thirty good?” he asked.
“Yes.” Her voice was husky, and she called herself an idiot as she said good-bye.
She hung up, keeping her hand on the phone. She was becoming a slut. And she didn’t care. She was happy because he’d asked her out. As for Derek, she was happy she’d been with him last night, too.
Why shouldn’t she have both? She could call it her own reality show: Sex and the Village.
She put her hands over her mouth, then her ears and then her eyes, as if she were the three monkeys bundled in one package. In her mind she again heard Sarah say, ‘Hump and dump.’
Outside Goldie barked and rain started to pour down, pounding against the siding. She dropped her hands from her face and hurried to let Goldie in, her heart hammering, her step light.
She’d been good for so long – her whole life, it seemed. Maybe it was her turn to be a little...bad.
She reached the back door. As she opened it, thunder roared, the ground shook and lightning flashed across the sky.
Chapter Seventeen
When the phone rang again, Becky’s heart beat like an electric tambourine out of control. She wiped down Goldie with a towel by the back door but had an odd feeling that something was wrong. She let go of Goldie and dived for the phone on the counter.
Another boom thundered outside as she said, “Hello?” Goldie stopped a foot away from Becky, then shook her entire body, her skin and wet fur flapping. Water splattered Becky and she hunched sideways, leaning away from Goldie. The phone crackled as she wiped drops off her cheek and called, “Hello, hello!”
“I’m here,” Sarah said. “Wow, it’s coming down like bats and hogs.”
Becky leaned against the counter, her pants too wet to sit on the chair, thanks to Goldie, who looked at her as if she deserved a treat for soaking her. After all, hadn’t she saved Becky from taking another shower? “Idiot.”
“Are you calling me an idiot?”
“Goldie. She just soaked me.”
“Good on you. I have conversations with her all the time. Goldie’s a great listener. Hey, I just called to say I’m on my way home.”
“Drive carefully.”
“I always drive carefully.”
“You drive too fast.”
“You drive too slow. I’m almost in town. I already shopped in Medford, but I forgot the evaporated milk for the puppy formula. I’ll stop off at Wegner’s. Want anything?”
“An Ouija board. Maybe it will give me a glimpse into the future.”
“You don’t need that. I can tell you. Now that you’ve gotten rid of Mr. Righteous, it will be good times ahead.”
Another blast of thunder boomed and static came over the phone. Then nothing. “Sarah? Sarah?”
Sarah didn’t answer. The phone was dead. Becky thought of trying to call Sarah back, but Sarah was driving and it was pouring out. Becky’s mom used to say ‘The sky is crying,’ and Becky used to believe that the sky was sad.
Today’s sky didn’t sound sad. It sounded angry.
A whine came from Goldie. She stood outside the puppy room, the barrier blocking her from getting back to her puppies. Becky hurried over and let her in.
The puppies immediately surged forward, tripping over each other to get to Goldie. Each puppy rushed to be first.
Becky watched them for a few moments, with an ache in her chest. An ache because she still missed her mom; an ache because she might never be one. Finally she turned away and trudged to the table to look at the want ads.
She’d always had sympathy for any of the parishioners who were job hunting. But at least most of them had a career and experience. Maybe Rosa knew a restaurant owner in Tomahawk or Merrill and would call the owner for her. Ask them to give her a chance. Something to help with the everyday bills while she earned her degree.
Another blast of thunder and flash of lightning made her jump and gasp. Her heartbeat thundered along with the whimpers coming from the dining room. She looked at the rain lashing the kitchen window, then hurried to the office to unplug the old computer, not wanting it to be fried by a lightning surge.
Sarah should be home soon. At least Marsh wasn’t driving in this. He was still in Minnesota where it was supposed to be sunny and warm today. When he got home, he’d probably tease them about his tropical vacation while they were stuck in a cold rain.
She grabbed a throw and hurried to the puppy room to clean up. She could look at the newspaper ads later.
Maybe before then, something else would come up.
*****
Sometime during the next twenty minutes, the sky turned nearly black and sheets of rain gusted against the house. Becky started to think of biblical storms, and she worried about Sarah. Her nerves vibrated, on alert, and she listened for sirens. A couple of the puppies whimpered, but most slept snuggled close to Goldie.
She wished she could, too, but she kept thinking of the tornadoes that had ravaged two Wisconsin towns last year, killing a family that lived in a trailer park.
Finally the sky lightened and the gusts lessened. The thunder and the lightning moved to the east, not as loud or as frightening. Her nerves shot, Becky got up to fetch her go-to tranquilizer. Dark chocolate. Along the way to the bedroom, she checked Goldie and the puppies, and Goldie gave her a look that said she hadn’t been scared.
“Ha!” Becky said. “I bet you were.”
Goldie opened her mouth in a doggy grin, then her ears perked and her gaze fixed toward the road. She was up on her feet, barking happily before Becky had time to turn around.
“Mommy’s home.” Becky rushed to put her jacket on. “Everything’s all right. I don’t know why I was so worried.”
Way too worried. As if something were about to go horribly wrong. Which was odd in so many ways. She’d never been a catastrophe junkie, but now it felt as if she were waiting for the next hammer to strike her on the head.
She reached the back door as Sarah hurried toward her, holding bags of groceries to her chest, raindrops coming down steadily on her blond hair.
“Any more?” Becky held the door open wide.
“Two more.” Sarah barreled indoors.
By the time Becky made it back inside with the last two bags, the rain had lightened already. Yet the nervous feeling, like a bee buzzing along her nerve endings, wouldn’t go away.
“I was worried about you,” she said.
“I was a bit worried, too. That wind was wicked. The thunder sounded like explosions. I’m glad Marsh is safe in Minnesota.”
“Yeah,” Becky said, but she heard the uncertainty in her voice. The buzzing had transferred from her nerves to her chest, getting worse.
She put the grapes in the fridge and was picking up the half-gallon of milk when the phone rang. Feeling cold from the inside out, Becky turned to stare at it.
At the same instant, the front doorbell rang.
Sarah leaned toward the phone, looking at the Caller ID. “It’s a 218 area code. I think that’s Minnesota. Maybe it’s Marsh. I hope nothing’s wrong with his phone. He’d be lost without all his contacts.”
A ball of tension gathered in Becky’s
chest as Sarah lifted the phone, saying, “Would you get the door?”
Chapter Eighteen
“Hi, honey,” Sarah said in the kitchen, her voice sounding far away as Becky looked at her father. Only a screen door and a few inches of air were between them, and she wondered if she should close the door on him.
Instead she just stared.
It all felt unreal. As if she were watching his face on a movie screen. As if she were hearing Sarah speak on her car stereo. As if the Village of Miracle and her life were figments in a crazy person’s imagination.
That meant she was the crazy person. Because who else would imagine her non-exciting life?
Though last night had been pretty hot.
“Aren’t you inviting me in?” Carl asked.
A bright comeback came to her mind, which proved she wasn’t her normal self. She never thought of snappy comebacks unless it was at an inappropriate time. Like in church when Jim was giving his lesson.
Then she remembered she didn’t have to be appropriate anymore.
The thought freed her. It whisked away the numbness and cleared the shadows hanging over her. At the same instant, the patters of rain stopped, the clouds broke up and sunlight streamed down.
“Well?” her father demanded. He held himself upright, giving off his I’m-the-man-in-charge vibe. Not yet aware that no man was in charge of her anymore.
“Why should I?” she asked.
“Because I’m your father.” His eyes flickered. “It hurts me to be estranged from my daughters.”
“We didn’t turn our backs on you. You turned yours on us.” As she said the words, she realized that she’d nurtured a tiny hope that he’d come here because he was sorry for the words he’d said the last time she’d seen him.
Sorry that he had been angry at her instead of Jim.
Sorry that he cheated on her mother.
And really sorry that he slapped her.
“I thought you’d listen to reason,” he said.
“Your reason isn’t reasonable to me.” She remained standing inside the house, looking at him through the screen. Though he stood on the concrete stoop, about six inches lower than the entrance, she was still a couple of inches shorter than him. But for once it felt as if they were on equal terms. For once, she wasn’t trying to please him.
“I was hoping you’d come to your senses and go back to Jim,” he said.
“He was cheating on me, Dad.” She heard the thickening of her voice. The throb of anger.
He frowned. “People make mistakes.”
“I filed for divorce. I don’t love Jim. I don’t trust him. I don’t even like him anymore.” She reached for the wooden door behind her. Ready to step aside and slam it shut. “There’s nothing you can do to change my mind.”
“Go back to him and I’ll give you a hundred thousand dollars.”
“Really? You’re trying to buy my obedience?” She stepped back, feeling a vein throb in her neck. “Good-bye, Dad.”
“Wait!”
“Too late.” She started to close the door, and he jerked the screen door open and stuck the toe of his leather shoe in the jamb to stop the door.
“I just want you to listen to me,” he said.
Her hand gripped the round door handle. “How many times did I want you to listen to me and you didn’t?”
“I’m listening now.”
“It’s too late.”
“I don’t believe that. It’s never too late.” The color in his face was elevated and she could hear the harshness of his breaths. She still wanted to close the door, but seeing him so shaken up disturbed her.
“Go on, but it had better be good.”
“I know where you were this morning. I know you were at that place that calls itself a church.”
Her eyebrows shot up. It was lousy luck that he’d seen her drive up with Rosa. But she wasn’t going to discuss this with him.
“You were looking for a job, weren’t you?” he demanded. “I know you bought the Tomahawk Leader News.”
She stared blankly at him but her mind was whirling. Linda Wegner must have called him the instant she stepped out of their store. Easy for Carl to guess she was looking for a job or an apartment in Tomahawk. Probably Linda had pressed her face to the window as she’d gotten into Rosa’s car and watched them drive in the direction of her father’s home.
“I don’t want you to work there,” he said.
“I don’t care what you want.” She heard footsteps behind her. Sarah.
“I’ll offer you a better job.”
She laughed, hearing the hollow sound. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
Anger flashed across his face. “I should’ve gotten rid of her long before this.”
Sarah made a surprised sound and stepped to Becky’s side. “Are you talking about me?”
Carl’s ruddy complexion paled. “Of course not.”
“It’s Elsa.” Becky half turned to Sarah. “Elsa Hahn. I talked to her about a job today.”
Sarah stared at their father, her head slightly forward like a curious cat. She frowned and her lips parted, her tongue touching her upper lip...as if trying to make sense of what he’d said.
“Get rid of her? You mean kill her?”
“No!” He stepped back, removing his foot from the front entrance. “I’ll get rid of her legally. That’s not a real church. It’s not affiliated with any religion. They don’t even worship Jesus.”
Becky’s anger spiked again, along with a river of sorrow. “It’s too bad she’s not as virtuous as you.” Even as she said it, she knew it was a waste of breath. He didn’t realize how pompous he sounded.
“Dad,” Sarah said, “you’re a piece of work.”
His face flushed. “Don’t you—”
With a surge of disgust, Becky slammed the door shut.
“No!” he howled from the other side of the door.
Becky turned, her back to the door, adding another barrier in case he tried to break it down.
“I wish Marsh were home,” Sarah said, and her strained expression reflected the horror and anger and longing that churned inside Becky.
“You got the good one with Marsh. All these years I thought I was the lucky one, but you were.” Becky’s voice cracked, and she stopped to get herself together.
“I can’t imagine life without him.” Sarah smiled but there was no joy in it.
Becky shuddered. There was no joy in her, either. Not after that talk with their father. She’d always known what he was like. She just hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it.
The pounding began on the other side of the door. Becky flinched and Goldie barked. Becky heard small cries and at first thought they came from the puppies. But looking at Sarah’s horrified face, she realized they came from her own throat.
Sarah held out her arms. “Oh, Becky.”
Becky fell into them. They held each other tight as tears finally leaked from Becky’s eyes. Not for the end of her marriage, or even because of all the years she’d let her father rule her life. She cried because this must’ve been how Sarah had felt when she married Marsh. Becky’s eyes were now open to the manipulation. To their father’s need to control. And Becky realized that when it happened to Sarah, she hadn’t been there to comfort her sister.
“I’m sorry,” she said, “I’m sorry.”
“You did the best you could,” Sarah said.
Becky didn’t think they were talking about the same thing, but the tears stopped and so did the pounding. Her father had given up...for now.
But not, she knew, for forever.
Chapter Nineteen
By the time Cody came home from school, Becky and Sarah had picked up the branches on the lawn that the wind gusts had blown off. Too bad the damage from the biggest wind gust – Becky’s father – wasn’t as easy to gather and burn.
But Cody’s grin and happy wave went a big way toward shrinking the clump of unhappiness in Becky’s chest. He hugged his mom then her. His thin arms
wrapped around her waist for just one second, but Becky closed her eyes and imprinted it in her heart. Though she’d like to, she didn’t cling to him. She wasn’t going to be that kind of aunt. That kind of person.
Cody let go and darted to the fridge, eager to chug down a glass of milk before going to see the puppies. And he had another purpose. Between gulps, standing in front of the sink, he demanded for at least the hundredth time that Sarah keep the black one, because he wanted a dog of his own.
Sarah told him that the kitten slept with him and would be jealous of the puppy, but he said there was room in his bed for all three of them. Sarah laughed and told him three in a bed were too many.
Becky watched them, not really a part of it, but feeling residues of their closeness circling out to touch her. The ache started in her chest again. A good ache this time, because she knew she still could have and would have something like this. Somehow, some way, she would have this in her life.
Cody darted into the puppy room as Becky’s cell trilled. She grabbed it from the counter and saw Derek’s name. Her gaze went to the clock. Trey wasn’t coming for another hour and a half. The phone trilled again.
“Trey?” Sarah asked.
“Derek.”
“Ah.” Sarah grinned.
Becky stuck her tongue out as she put the phone to her ear.
They talked about the weather and he told her that electrical storms affected Elaine physically. Elaine thought her increased pain had something to do with the atmosphere, but her doctor told her that she was imagining it and her pain must be mental.
“She needs a new doctor,” Becky said.
“He’s the only one around who specializes in this.”
Becky didn’t say anything, though a hundred thoughts came to her. This wasn’t her road; she wasn’t here to fix him and Elaine. Derek was a smart man. He knew he had alternatives. And just because she’d had hot sex with him didn’t mean he’d become perfect.
The kitten that Sarah had adopted curled around Becky’s ankles. Becky bent forward and scooped it up, then she sat and plopped the kitten gently on her lap. It immediately began to purr and knead with its sharp little claws.
