by Edie Ramer
Except this wasn’t her family. It was Sarah’s.
She stopped. Putting her hand to her upper stomach, she made a face. “My tummy’s giving me bad messages. I’d better go back. You two go without me.”
Sarah gave her a sympathetic look and so did Cody. Tummy aches were one thing everyone understood and no one questioned.
Becky turned back toward the house, her hands still on her stomach, keeping up the pretense of not feeling well, and striding fast. A big ball of sadness swelled in her throat. The only reason she was here instead of looking for a job and an apartment she could afford was because Marsh was dead. His life ended.
She would stay with Sarah as long as she was needed, but this would be a temporary situation, not a permanent one. This was Sarah’s life, and she needed to find her own eventually. Whatever that would turn out to be.
Chapter Thirty-three
“Marsh Lowtower was the finest man I’ve known,” Becky said. There were gasps from some of the pew sitters who perched like crows on the graceful wooden benches of Elsa’s church. These pew sitters had come today not out of respect for Marsh or Sarah, Becky knew. They came because they didn’t want to take the chance of missing any delicious morsels of gossip.
Glances flickered to Jim and Carl, who both stared at Becky stonily from their seats in the right front row. The people behind them no doubt wished fervently that they could see the discomfort on their faces. Instead they had to look at the back of their heads and only imagine their disapproval.
The spectators’ glances shifted to the left front row, where Marsh’s mother, sister and brother-in-law and their ten-year-old daughter sat near the inner aisle, Sarah beside them. Cody, Sam and his daughter Katie sat on Sarah’s other side, guarding her from ill wishers. Or from people she didn’t want to talk to. People who’d never supported Sarah’s marriage. Who never believed in Marsh the way Sarah believed – with all her heart.
Becky took another good look at the audience. Derek and Elaine sat in the second row behind her father. And coming up the aisle was Trey and a young man she guessed was his son. Though it was foggy outside, a gleam of late afternoon light shone in from one of the many windows and lit up Trey and followed him up the aisle.
Trey had called this morning on his drive back from Ontario. He told her he had an eight-hour drive to Miracle and he wasn’t sure if he’d make the service. She’d told him not to worry about it.
But here he was. He must’ve driven without stopping to eat. Not the smartest thing to do, but she couldn’t stop her leap of happiness or her quickened heartbeat to see him there.
Someone cleared a throat and she became aware that people were staring at her. Waiting for her to go on. She sucked in a breath, as usual, ready to do what was expected. But this time the words weren’t going to be what the majority expected or wanted. They were for two people. Her sister and her nephew.
“I’m honored to have known Marsh.” She stopped and looked around. Another throat cleared, and she recognized this as her father’s. He was glaring at her now. She knew that look. He wanted her to finish up so he could get out of there.
She looked him straight in the eye. “He was a man of integrity. He loved life.” She switched her gaze to Sarah and Cody, because they were the ones who mattered here. “He was a great father and husband.” She could hear her voice soften and she spoke more slowly. “He loved his wife and son more than anything else.
“People used to call him the junkman’s kid, but it never bothered him. He once told me that he’d had the best father in the world. But I think Cody had the best father in the world and he should be proud to be descended from a great line of men.”
A gasp came up from the row on the right, but Becky didn’t look. Instead she backed off the podium. She passed Elsa, who patted her on the shoulder.
Like a benediction.
As Becky headed down the steps at the side, she heard small hiccups from Sarah who sat with her hand over her mouth, staring at her lap, her shoulders heaving.
Becky hurried. She had a sinking feeling in her stomach for making Sarah cry. She reached her seat and Sarah looked up. Tears shone on her face, but so did a giant smile.
“Thank you,” Sarah whispered, her eyes radiant. “Thank you so much.”
At the pulpit, Elsa said a few more words, then the service broke up. Sarah brought Marsh’s ashes home in an urn and placed it on the mantel in the puppy room.
Sarah’s house soon filled with people coming to pay their respects. At least, that was the idea, Becky thought, as she avoided Linda Wegner and her probing asp’s tongue. Some came who genuinely cared for Marsh, Sarah and Cody. Others came because there might be a family drama here and heaven forbid they’d miss anything.
To top that, there was free food. The one thing the people of Miracle liked more than gossip was food. They liked cooking it; they liked smelling it; they liked looking at it. Most of all, they liked eating it.
The table and counters were laden with so much food brought by villagers that Becky was surprised the table legs didn’t buckle. The small house was packed. At five, as if an unspoken signal went off, mingling stopped and the villagers lined up in the kitchen like pigs to the trough at Pete Martin’s Happy Hog Farm.
Becky had lost her appetite since the night of the accident. Since the flu, actually, but usually she would’ve regained it by now. She hadn’t weighed herself but her dress felt loose. She wasn’t about to run out and get new clothes, though. Not after spotting the mini-tiramisus that Rosa and Mike had brought over in shot glasses.
“Aunt Becky, is your tummy hurting again?”
Becky realized her hands were splayed over her stomach again, and she jerked them back to her sides. “I’m fine. Are you hungry?”
“Uh-uh. Two people tried to buy Sammy.”
It took Becky a second to remember he’d named the black puppy after her uncle. “Is your mom saving him for you?”
He shook his head, and she felt his grief. “They didn’t offer enough money, but Mom says we need the money we’re getting for all the puppies.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie.”
“You could keep Sammy.”
She opened her mouth to tell him gently she wouldn’t be living here forever, but this wasn’t the right time.
Then she looked at his sad face. He’d just lost his father four days ago. If Sammy could help Cody get through this... “I’ll talk to your mom later.” Becky’s shoulders relaxed. Keeping Sammy wasn’t practical, but...it felt right.
Especially since she was half in love with Sammy already. She would make it work. She’d find a way to fix it.
“Maybe you should do it now?” Cody looked up at her with earnest eyes. “Before someone wants to give her more money.”
She didn’t answer right away, but...how could she resist those eyes that looked at her as if she were his last hope? “You know, that sounds like a good idea. I’ll do it.”
His face brightened and his slumped spine straightened. He looked two inches taller. “I’ll tell her! Right now.” Then he was off, squeezing through the crowd as if he raced to save the puppy’s life.
Becky’s eyes prickled. At that moment, it came to her that the first thirty-six years of her life were lived by design. Only they’d never been by her design. She was going to damn well change that in the next thirty-six-plus years. She would live them by her design.
A warmth grew inside her. As if her heart approved.
She turned and walked into a man’s wide chest.
Trey. She knew it was him even with her nose buried in his gray shirt. She recognized the feel of his chest and the height and the breadth of him. Recognized the spot where her nose met his chest, right between the first and second buttons. Recognized the feel of the big hands that curled around her upper arms. Recognized the faint spicy scent.
She stepped back and smiled at him. Letting go of her arms, he smiled back.
“Hey,” he said. “Fancy you running into
me here.”
Cody, his face still bright, grabbed a handful of Becky’s skirt. “Aunt Becky lives here.”
A laugh brought Becky’s gaze to the young man standing next to Trey. Easy to see he was Trey’s son. He looked like Trey, though his eyes were green and his hair a dark auburn, the color of burnt leaves. He was two or three inches shorter than Trey, but she guessed he’d be Trey’s height or taller by the time he stopped growing. With the extra years, he’d probably get his dad’s muscles, too.
Trey introduced her and Cody to Scott.
“Hi,” Cody said. “Aunt Becky’s going to keep Sammy.” He looked up at Becky. “Mom was talking to someone but you’ll tell her later, right?”
Becky smoothed Cody’s silky hair with the pad of her thumb. “I’ll tell her. Don’t worry about it.”
Trey’s eyebrows rose. “Who’s Sammy?”
“The black puppy,” Cody said. “I named him.”
“I thought I smelled puppies,” Scott said.
“Wanna see them?”
“Sure.”
The Kershoff girls, hovering nearby and pretending not to notice Scott, stepped forward to express their interest in puppies, too.
Scott and the oldest Kershoff girl exchanged glances, and her cheeks bloomed a pale rose pink.
“You can all see them. Follow me.” Cody led the way to the puppy room, the younger Kershoff girl beside him, and the two older teens following behind.
Becky looked up at Trey. “He takes after you.”
“His mom, too. We didn’t give him an easy road.”
“I don’t know anyone who got handed an easy road.”
He smiled down at her. “Right this second it’s looking brighter to me.”
She smiled back at him. Out of her peripheral vision, she spotted someone coming toward her. Derek.
The sinking feeling returned to her stomach. She shifted her gaze to him. Though the corners of Derek’s mouth lifted, his brow was furrowed, his eyebrows puckered together.
She groaned inwardly. She really didn’t want to deal with this now.
Chapter Thirty-four
“Sorry I wasn’t able to get here sooner,” he said. “My mother hasn’t been well this week.”
“I’m sorry Elaine’s been sick.” She glanced behind him. Elaine sat on one of chairs, her cane slanted against the wall. Though she was talking to Linda Wegner, she was glaring their way. Becky had thought that Elaine was her friend, but she was scowling at Becky as if she were her worst enemy.
“She said she left a message but you didn’t call her back.”
“She left one for Sarah.”
“Oh. Well, she probably thought Sarah would pass it on to you.”
Becky raised her eyebrows. She felt sorry for him and for Elaine, but she wasn’t playing their game. “Sarah and I have been busy.”
“Oh, of course.” He looked miserable but remained standing, shifting from one leg to another. “How is Sarah?”
“She’s...okay.”
“I’m going for some coffee.” Trey gestured at the kitchen area. “Can I get you anything?”
“If there’s a mini-tiramisu left...”
“Got it.” He nodded, then headed for the food, leaving Becky with Derek.
Derek shoved his right hand in the pocket of his black slacks. “I guess you feel that I let you down?”
She opened her mouth to say no, but instead she lifted her chin and looked him straight in his eyes. “Do you think you let me down?”
He looked down and then up. “I didn’t want to. My mother needed me.”
“So much that you couldn’t call?” she asked, her voice gentle. She wasn’t angry; she was sad. Not for herself. For him. For his wasted life.
His curled hand came up and he hit his knuckles against his right jaw. “I didn’t think you’d understand.”
She raised her hand and put it on his, curling her fingers around his fist so he couldn’t hit himself again. “I think I do understand.”
“Hey, Derek,” Linda Wegner said, and he jerked his curled hand away from Becky’s, as if her touch scorched his skin. He turned to Linda.
“Your mom isn’t feeling well. She wants to go home.”
He whipped his gaze back to Becky. She forced the corners of her lips up. “It was nice of you and your mom to come. I’ll see you at the next board meeting.”
His features collapsed, then snapped back to normal so fast that Linda probably missed it, her gaze on the desserts at the end of the table closest to them.
“Let’s go,” he said. Linda reluctantly turned her gaze from the table and walked back to Elaine with him, as if he were a lost child being returned to his mother.
Becky’s heart was sore for him. He knew his mother was ruining his life, and he wasn’t stopping her. Becky wanted to think that he could easily say no to Elaine. But Becky was seven years older than him, and it had taken her walking in on a blow job before she left her husband.
Too bad Derek wasn’t likely to catch Elaine in a sexually compromising position.
Sarah was heading toward her and Becky made herself smile. “I hate this,” Sarah said, her voice low. She swept out her hand toward their guests. “All these people... Most of them didn’t respect Marsh while he was alive. I feel dirty having them in the house.”
“Kick them out.”
“I wish I could.” She’d lost weight in the last few days and her cheekbones were hollowed out. “I have to think of Cody.” She took a quick glance around. “Do you know where he is?”
“Showing off the puppies to a few kids.”
“He loves the puppies.” Sarah’s lips curved, her tensed body relaxing slightly. “For Cody’s sake, I’ll be sorry when they’re gone. A couple of people showed an interest in the black puppy tonight.”
“Sammy,” Becky said, and smiled. There was something about that dog...
Sarah smiled, too, and Becky saw heads turning to watch them. “Dean Wegner is coming tomorrow to look at him,” Sarah said.
“Tell him not to bother. I want to buy him.”
“Are you serious?” Sarah’s eyes narrowed. “Did Cody put you up to this?”
“You know Sammy’s my favorite.” Becky glanced over Sarah’s shoulder. “Here comes Trey with my tiramisu. Be nice to me and maybe I’ll split it with you.”
Sarah glanced over just as Trey was stopped by a former English teacher from Tomahawk High School.
From Trey’s grin and the way he bent to talk to the much shorter woman, he had fond memories of her. The sight gave Becky a small frisson. She enjoyed reading and wondered if Trey liked to read, too. Wondered if that’s what he did at nights in his hotel room while away from home.
“Boy Number Two,” Sarah said, nodding toward Trey.
“Man Number Two,” Becky corrected.
Sarah nodded. “Very much a man. What about Derek?”
Becky pressed her lips together and shrugged. “Very much a boy.”
“I see. So it’s Man Number Two then?
“It’s neither,” Becky said, her tone crisp. “Boy Number One is a mama’s boy, and Man Number Two warned me that he’s a traveling man.”
“In that case, you deserve the puppy as a consolation prize.”
“Sammy might be worth more than both men.”
“You talking about me?” Trey handed her the plate with the tiramisu.
“Since you brought me dessert, I’ll take that back.” Becky looked at Sarah. “You want to share?”
“I’m not hungry.” Sarah smiled but there was a sorrow in her face that made Becky’s heart ache. “I’ll see if the puppies need water.”
As soon as she left, Trey said, “I have to go to L.A. tomorrow.”
“Did you come back just for...the funeral?” She’d been about to say ‘me,’ but that would be going too fast for him. Too fast for her, too, though so much had happened since she caught Jim with his pants down, it seemed like another lifetime instead of just weeks.
“No, I came back for you.” He gave her a look that made her wish they were alone. “And my son,” he added. “I want to be home as much as possible for him. I should be back next week.”
“You’re taking more cars?”
He nodded. “And a couple Indian motorcycles. I’m using parts I got from Marsh.”
“I’ll tell Sarah. She’ll be pleased.”
“Tell her I want to rent one of her storage buildings.”
“I will.” She tried to clamp down a spurt of happiness. If he rented the shed, that meant he’d have a reason to come back.
“The weather is great in L.A. Want to come along?” He didn’t take his eyes off her face, as if her answer mattered.
She pushed her hair behind her left ear. “Not this time. Sarah will need me.”
He nodded. “And you’ve got a puppy now.”
“I imagine I could bribe Cody to take care of it for me...” She smiled at him, and he smiled back.
Then she caught sight of Linda Wegner less than a foot behind Trey, a paper plate of food in her hand, her eyes bright. Linda stared at her and Trey like a bird that spotted a fat, juicy bug to eat. Becky lifted her eyebrows at Linda, who scurried away so fast that chunks of her sandwich fell off the plate.
Linda went straight to Angie Schuster, the second biggest gossip in town.
Trey followed her gaze. “Trouble?”
She smiled and shook her head. “For people like that to hurt you, you have to care. And I don’t care.”
He lowered his head toward her. “If I stayed,” he said, his voice lowered, “I could fall in love with you.”
Chapter Thirty-five
Becky felt lucky today. She stepped out of Sarah’s house into the sparkling sunlight.
Inside her belly – maybe her womb – it felt like there were other sparkles.
It was the first day warm enough to wear shorts this year. On the front sidewalk, she stopped to breathe in the spring air, her face up to the sun in a worship position, her eyes closed. Getting her daily dose of Vitamin D3 from the source – and maybe even encouraging some color on her pasty white legs.
