by Lowe, Ebony
“No Dre, this is beyond unforgiveable. I can't even stand to look at you! You make me sick! I want you gone, I want you out! It's over! We are done!” She yelled as she slammed her bedroom door and ran down the stairs. Minutes later, she ran out of the house, got in her car, and drove off.
Deondre was left standing in the middle of their room with a sad face and fake tears. I guess reality finally set in about what he had done. I hope he didn't think that a bunch of sorries would make this right.
Chapter Seven
A couple days went by and there was still a lot of tension in the air. No one in my house spoke to each other. It wasn't for lack of trying. I guess we were all still angry and in shock. I hadn't spoken to Melanie since that night. I really had no idea as to what to say to her. I didn't know if she was angry at me or even wanted to be bothered. Jeremiah insisted I give her time to come around on her own. Couldn't help but to miss her and wonder if they were okay. Against Jeremiah’s judgment, Marcus and I decided to go across the street to visit and make sure everyone was okay.
“Mariyah, why are you so hardheaded?” Jeremiah asked as I put my shoes on.
“What do you mean hardheaded?” I asked with and irritated expression.
“I told you to wait til she come talk to you”
“And I told you that's my best friend and I haven't went longer than a few hours without talking to her. I need to make sure she is okay. Why can't you just respect that?”
“Because baby, what if she doesn't want to see you then what. Your left hurt, more hurt than you are, then I have to deal with you crying and stuff”
“Wait, so I'm a burden? Are you really saying that to me?”
“No, that is not what I'm saying and you know that. I just don't want to see you hurt and crying all over again, because there is nothing that I can say or do to make you feel better.”
“Look, I will be ok but not if I don't go talk to her. Just chill. I'll be back in a few and if I'm not call me and check on me. Aight?”
“Fine”
I could tell he wasn't happy with my decision but he had no choice but to respect it because I was going whether he liked it or not. I knew deep down she needed me, and I needed her to.
When I made it to their house, I noticed Auntie Lynn's car wasn't there. Come to think of it, I haven't seen her car since that night. Not sure if they were even there, I rang the doorbell, knees shaking because I didn't know what to expect. Finally the door opened and I was not happy with what I saw. My best friend looked a mess. Her hair was all over her head, and her face was puffy and red. She had on a long sleeved shirt with baggy jogging pants, which would have been ok if it wasn't summer time. She looked weak, like she hadn't slept in days. I didn't know what to say to her, so I did the best next thing. I reached for her and hugged her tight and felt her breakdown in my arms.
“She's gone!” she cried
“Who?” I asked as I wiped her face with my sleeve.
“My mama!”
“What do you mean gone? Where she go?”
“She left that night, and I haven't seen or talked her since then.”
“Well did you call her phone?”
“Yea, it’s here! She left everything here!”
“Wait it’s been how long since she been gone? Where yo dad at? Ya"ll need to call the police and file a missing persons report!” I exclaimed.
“I told him that but he said because of the situation, they gone probably say she just took some time to clear her head.” Melanie answered.
“No, no that’s not right! Even if they do say that, they still have to file a report!” I said. “Okay so what else is it that you’re not telling me?”
She knew that I knew there was something else. She leaned over and whispered something in my ear and tears began to fall from my eyes. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I looked at Melanie, who had stood up and began to pace back and forth in tears.
“Is this for real?” I asked her completely stunned.
“No, I refuse to believe it is.” She answered. “Mel we got to tell them”
“No, no...They are going to find her and bring her home to me. She wouldn't just leave like that”
“I know Mel, but we need to tell them so they can bring her back home”
“NO! I said no...She’s coming back. I know she is. Don't you say one word of this to nobody, you promise me. Not even to Jeremiah!”
“Okay, okay! I promise.”
Just then, my parents and Jeremiah came running inside. I could see the heartbreak on my mom's face, as she reached for Melanie.
“The police are on the way” my dad said as he came and stood by me.
It took everything in me to not tell them what Melanie had told me. I was so confused and didn't know what to do or who to talk to. I made a promise to my friend and I couldn't break it but this time I felt I should.
“Where's Deondre?” My dad asked.
“I don’t know, I guess he is at work. We haven’t really talked.” Melanie replied
“Where's Brad?” My mom asked looking around.
“With him.”
It hurt me to see my best friend in so much pain. There was nothing that I could do or say to make her feel better. I felt so helpless. She was here in this house by herself. Everyone had left her. Auntie Lynn disappeared. But the way I felt, was nothing compared to what Melanie felt. The doorbell interrupted my thoughts. My dad let the police in and led them to the dining room table. Him and my mom sat down and told them everything that had happened. My eyes went from them to Melanie and back to them. I saw her about to breakdown soon. She looked like she was ready to explode. As the police took down all of the information, they left, but not before informing us that they would begin a search and file the missing person's report. One of the detectives that showed up a few minutes after the police did said that he would be interviewing Deondre and asking him why he wasn't the one to call the police. He also asked for Kita's information, which no one had. So I thought.
“She's staying at the Holiday Inn on Sheridan” Mama told the detective.
Of course Daddy didn't know anything about that. He stared at mama with an angry stare.
“Don't question me; don't say a thing to me!” Mama said to Daddy “She is still my child, and I won't have her out on the street”
Daddy was so mad he got up and went home. The detective left with all of the information he had gathered. He told one of the police officers to stay here until he returned. Mama stood up, grabbed Melanie, and took her into the kitchen. Jeremiah and I followed. I refused to let Melanie out of my sight! It was hurting me to see my friend in so much pain. I couldn't help but wonder would she ever be the same after all of this.
“Oh my GOD” Melanie exclaimed “I need to call DJ. He's going to be so mad. He doesn't know about anything.”
DJ moved out as soon as he graduated from high school. He rarely comes around because he is so busy with school, work, and basketball. Even though he lived only ten minutes away, it seemed like he lived in another state. Melanie and DJ are extremely close, and they talk almost every night on the phone and Skype. As I watched her cry on the phone to him telling him everything that had happen from start to finish, I knew there was going to be more drama as soon as he got here. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be here when he got here.
Chapter Eight
Meanwhile, mama had asked me to take a ride with her somewhere. She wouldn't tell me where we were going, but the car ride itself had me a little suspicious.
“Riyah, I want to talk to you about your sister” She said as she drove to our destination.
“Ma, I really don't wanna talk about her” I replied
“I think you need to, she is still your sister no matter what, that won't change...EVER!”
“Yea, I know...don't remind me”
“Riyah, you’re going to have to forgive her one day”
“Yea, well it won't be no time soon believe that”
I could te
ll mama wanted to say so much more but she didn't want to argue. The look on her face told me she was exhausted. I wish I could fix all of this so she wouldn't have to look so worn out but there was no fixing this.
“Ma are you okay? You don't look too good!”
“I'm fine baby; I'm just worried about our family. I want to fix it all but nobody wants to help me.”
“But ma, this is something out of your hands. You can't fix this. I don't think nobody can.”
“Oh baby, GOD can! I just wish HE would show up already and take control over everything.”
“I know mama. Where are we going anyway?”
“Nice try! I'm not telling you because I don't want you to run away. You will see when we get there. We're almost there!”
“Okay now I'm really worried. Ma, where are you taking me?” I asked but got no response.
I was so nervous that my legs began to shake. “Please not now GOD! Don't let me have an anxiety attack right now.” I prayed.
As we pulled into a parking garage, I looked up and saw this person walking towards us. I sat there and watched Mama get out of the car. When she realized that I was still sitting inside, she motioned for me to come on. Reluctantly I unbuckled my seat belt and stepped out of the car. Mama grabbed my hand and led me to this person. As we got closer, I began to make out this person and I realized who it was.
“Are you serious?” I asked Mama as I let her hand go.
“She is your sister and we need to talk this out, so that our family can begin the healing process” Mama explained.
“But why am I the only one here, where's dad?”
“Your father is going to take a lot more time and effort to get through to. I will work on him, but first I need you two to begin working on your relationship.”
“Mama, we have no relationship. In case you didn't notice, we haven't had a relationship since we were babies. There's no repairing this.”
“Mariyah, I understand that you are hurting, I am to...”
“Then how can you defend her and act like everything is okay?
How can you stand here and ask me to do the impossible, forgive my sister for sleeping with my godfather and hurting my best friend? She ruined our family, both families. Our family will never be the same again because of it, and I'm supposed to just forgive and forget.”
“No not forget, but you do have to forgive! Listen, we cannot turn our back on her. She has nowhere else to go.”
“Well that's not my fault.”
“Will you just try to forgive her for me please?”
“I don't know ma!”
“Tell you what, let’s go in and do this counseling session and after that we can decide together on what we want to do.”
“Ma you brought me to a crazy doctor! I'm not crazy, she need to be here not me.”
“Mariyah”
“Mama...look I love you and you know I would do anything for you but...”
“No buts...you'd do anything for me...then let's go in here and give this a chance. What harm can it do?”
“Ugggh okay fine, but she better not sit by me, I don't want none of her cooties!”
We walked into the counselor's office, and I could have sworn all eyes were on us as if they knew what we were there for.
“See ma, even these people staring at us all funky. This ain't gone work. Can we go?” I asked as we sat down in the waiting room.
“Maybe this was a bad idea Mama” Kita responded
“Oh, now you wanna speak. No you were a bad idea all together.” I replied with an attitude.
“Mariyah don't start!” Mama warned.
“I ain't startin nothin mama, ya'll brought me here thinkin it would help this thing but honestly I could care less about her and her getting help. She should of reached out for help a long time ago.”
“Can you please not speak about me like I'm not sitting here?”
“Can you please not speak to me at all?”
“Mariyah cut it out now and sit down!” Mama snapped. I could tell she was getting upset.
“Fine, but I'm not happy about it.”
“Ugh you’re such a brat!” Kita scoffed at me.
“Well you’re such a hoe but you don't see me going all willie nillie and judging you do you?” I replied.
“That's exactly what you’re doing.”
“Aw well, oh well I don't really care. Let's just get this over with.”
“That's the best thing you've said so far”
From the look mama had on her face, Kita and I had just embarrassed her. Not intentionally of course, but it was too late to take it all back. Besides, I actually meant what I said. I couldn't believe she brought me to a crazy doctor as if I was the one that needed counseling. Clearly she had it all wrong. But because she is my mom and I love her and would do anything for her, I chose to sit through it as long as this crazy doctor doesn't get to talking out the side of her neck.
“Jacobs Family” the nurse announced.
“Right here” mama answered “Come on girls”
“I think we should discuss this a little more mama before we take this step” Kita said.
“Girl don't nobody wanna discuss nothing with you. What you scared they bout to reveal more of your secrets?” I replied
“That's enough you two, let’s go NOW!” Mama snapped.
As we walked down the hall, I noticed how sad Kita looked. She looked like she had lost her best friend. I actually thought I saw a tear fall from her eye. Part of me wanted to jump up and down and say finally she feels the pain that we feel, but a small part of me felt sorry for her. Oh well, guess the big part of me won. Hate it for her. No sympathy here. Again I ask, why should I feel sorry for her after what she had done. I mean come on now. Nobody has heard from Auntie Lynn since that night. Melanie is an emotional wreck. My mom and dad are barely speaking to each other. Seriously, she has torn our family apart. Therefore, forgiveness will not come easily, if it comes at all.
We walked into this office with a big comfy couch that would definitely put you to sleep if you laid on it long enough. Mama and Kita sat on the couch, me, of course I had to be the odd ball, I sat in a recliner in the corner far away from the family’s disgrace.
“Mariyah, please come sit on the couch with us.” Mama pleaded.
“Mama, it’s bad enough you have me here with a crazy doctor and the family’s whore, now you want me to sit on the same couch as her.” I replied “Sorry mama but it ain’t gone happen”
I could tell mama was hurt and frustrated by her facial expressions. I just don’t understand why I have to go out of my way for Kita. It doesn’t make sense to me and I don’t like it one bit.
“Mariyah?” Dr. Andrews said. “Why don’t you want to sit next to your mom? It may make this process a lot easier.”
“Look Dr., I don’t want to be here or around her as it is, so me sitting there won’t make anything easier. What difference does it make where I sit? It’s not like I can’t hear what’s being said and ya’ll can definitely hear me. So what’s the real problem?” I snapped
“tsk” Kita smacked her lips and shook her head.
“Is there a problem?” I stood up and asked her.
“Yea it is!” She exclaimed.
“You’re right! It is a problem and that problem is you!”
“I get it Mariyah, you hate me. I get it ok, but you don’t have to keep throwing it in my face over and over. You have always hated me, why should now be any different.”
“Don’t go playing the innocent victim roll Kita! I didn’t hate you until a couple days ago. True I didn’t like you but that was your fault cuz of your attitude. We used to get along so good Kita. Remember? But you changed when you turned a teenager. Now you went and messed up our family, no scratch that, you destroyed our family, you and Dre, and now I’m supposed to jump on Kita’s train and forgive her for what she put us through. Am I the only one that see’s anything wrong with that picture? Why am I being singled out of
this family like it’s not more people involved? You want to start the healing process then why ain't everybody else here so we can start together. I’m sorry but don’t expect me to feel any different because I don’t. And before you ask Dr. Andrews, yes I feel hatred towards my so called sister, no I don’t want to repair our relationship, no I don’t plan on forgiving and forgetting, and no I don’t want to be here or talk about this anymore.”
As I sat back down into my seat, I looked at Kita who had folded her arms and scooted back on the couch and had nothing to say. Mama was completely at lost for words.
“Well” Dr. Andrews said. “Thank you for sharing with us Mariyah! Markita, Mom…do you two have anything you’d like to say?”
“I mean she said enough for us all. Ain’t nothing left to say” Kita responded.
On the ride home, Mama was completely silent. She looked so weak and tired. I started worrying about her then I began to think that maybe I had something to do with it. I mean I did go off when she was only trying to make everything better. I didn’t understand was I supposed to bite my tongue and let it all slide or was I right for speaking my mind and letting them all know how I felt. That was the point of that little appointment was it not? Maybe I was a little too harsh. Mama was the fixer of everything. But this time, this was something that wasn’t going to be fixed right away if at all.
Chapter Nine
As we pulled into our driveway, I noticed DJ’s car parked in front. Mama headed straight over there, but me, I hesitated because I already knew it would be more drama. I couldn’t take much more. I called J and told him that me and Mel needed to get out tonight and have some fun. He said that his brother was having a card party tonight at his crib and they wanted us to come. By now, everyone knew what was going on. Everyone’s main focus of course was on Melanie and finding Auntie Lynn. I told him I would definitely be there but trying to convince Mel to come out with us would be the hard part, especially with DJ here now. So I decided to call her instead of facing her face to face. At least this way I didn’t have to see the hurt in her eyes.
