I arched my neck back and peered up at the large sky overhead. Feeling brave, I eased back farther until I was floating on the lake’s surface. Water filtered through my hair and around my ears as I grinned and closed my eyes. I hadn’t been prepared to feel Klaus’s hands on my neck and back, but I felt his supportive strength. As I peeked a glance at the prince, I noticed he was staring down at me attentively. I couldn’t break myself to look away.
“Is there anything wrong, Klaus?” I asked hesitantly, grazing my fingertips over the surface of the flowing water.
“No, nothing is wrong,” he replied. There was a small form of a smile on his lips. “I’m just very glad you consented to come here today with me.”
“I’m glad you invited me too,” I agreed. I pushed my feet back down to the watery earth, easing back just enough to create space between us. Klaus grinned and turned to admire the drifting mountains around us. I tucked a bit of my wet hair behind my ears as I continued to watch him. The guilt I felt in not being honest with Klaus began to crawl through my gut again. I wanted to tell him the truth.
“I wish to ask you some things, Aurelia. If that is alright with you,” Klaus’s voice broke the silence between us.
“Of course,” I murmured, arching my brow with curiosity.
“If you could return home to your father without the arranged marriage, would you? Would you wish to leave Saarland der Licht?”
Klaus turned and began to close in the distance between us; keeping himself only at arm’s length. His green eyes searched mine, seemingly trying to find an answer; one I was unsure how to give.
“I would not . . . wish to leave,” I replied softly, jerking my head. “I’m afraid my relationship with my father is unresolvable. I am quite sure if I returned, my presence would be interpreted as agreement to the arrangement he wished for me.” I knew if I ever returned to Tränen, my presence could not be welcomed. I was certain I was seen as the cause to my father’s death, despite his own transgressions against me.
Klaus nodded again and inched a bit closer.
“If I asked you to stay here with me, would you consider the offer?”
“To stay with you?” I asked a bit confused.
“Yes . . .I would like you to stay here in Saarland with me,” he explained. His eyes were unwavering with his question. To stay forever; to stay and live with him in his beautiful palace. . . I had nowhere else to go, and no one else to turn to. Klaus had become my only friend in my new life away from the König and Tränen.
“I would consider it,” I murmured. “Yes.”
“I would like for you and I to be friends, Aurelia,” Klaus said seriously, as he pushed a wet hand through his hair.
“I thought we already were,” I admitted softly, a small smile grew on my lips as my cheeks began to warm.
“I’m glad then. I’d like Saarland to be your new home. I would like you to stay in the palace. I can make any arrangement you may need. I’ll always do my best to make sure you’re safe and tended to.”
I wanted to tell the prince that his kindness and generosity meant everything to me, but the words didn’t seem enough. As we swam a bit more, taking pleasure in the cool water, his words echoed in my mind: stay with me . . . stay with me. . .
If I stayed, what would happen to me after he was married? What would happen if . . . or when he found out the truth? Would he turn me away? I was startled from my thoughts when Klaus grabbed my fingers and looked at my pruned skin with a chuckle.
“Come Aurelia, dry yourself,” he said amusingly. He began to wade back to the shoreline, and I followed. Klaus sat down in a flat grassy patch and lay back, patting the spot beside him. As I gazed down at myself, it was apparent my chemise was clinging to my skin, leaving nothing to the imagination. But Klaus was too polite to allow his eyes to drift away from my face. I laid down beside him, and instantly felt the warmth of the sun on my skin. As I laid there, I felt bare and exposed and strangely uncomfortable; as though I were waiting for someone to appear over me. I tilted my chin to see Klaus had closed his eyes, while the sun seemingly kissed his skin, drying him and his wet garments. With a sigh, I closed my eyes too and tried to focus on the sun’s rays.
“Aurelia.”
In an instant, my eyes were open and I saw my father’s face peering down upon me. He was wet, and the water droplets from his hair fell on me. There was a cruel smile etched on his face as I felt his hands move to my chest, cupping my breasts through my wet undergarments. I tried to scream, to stop him, but nothing emerged from my lips. Turning my head, I found Klaus was no longer beside me. There was no one but my father and me; I was at my father’s mercy.
“Aurelia, I have found you. I told you I would always find you.”
I felt his hands slide down my stomach, down beneath my wet garments. I began to fight against him more forcefully, clawing at his shoulders, his back . . . doing what I could to push him away. I tried to scream again, but to no avail.
“Aurelia . . ..”
I knew the voice that spoke did not belong my father. I tried to push harder against my father’s form, wanting to reach out to that voice.
“Let go of me!” I finally heard my voice. I could hear the other voice again, shouting my name this time.
“Aurelia!” It was Klaus. Klaus.
“Aurelia . . ..”
My father tried to hold my shoulders down, but I resisted. I fought to get back to Klaus; the gentle prince who had shown me kindness, friendship . . . love.
“Klaus!”
In an instant I sat up, my eyes wide with fear. I was truly awake now. Klaus was holding my wrists with his soft hands, looking at me with concern.
“Aurelia,” his voice veiled in worry. His emerald gaze raked over me as he loosened his grip. “You were screaming . . .”
My breathing was rapid as I peered all around me. My garments were dry and the sun had just begun to crest over the mountaintops. How long had I been asleep?
“Aurelia, look at me,” Klaus commanded. I turned my attention tentatively back to him, gasping in deep breaths. It had been a dream; all a dream. My father had never been there.
“Breathe, deeply,” he commanded as he placed both of his hands gently on the sides of my face and pressed his forehead against mine. “You’re safe.”
While his words of reassurance filled me, my entire body continued to tremble with fear. I expected him to begin to question me, but he remained silent and still as he continued to hold me. It was only after I let out a soft breath that he finally pulled away and rose to his feet. Carefully, he lifted me up and gathered our scattered clothes on the ground. We walked back to the cottage in silence. I tried to avoid his gaze as he peered over at me, until I was situated back inside, in front of the warm fire. Klaus placed another log on the reddened coals and sat in the adjacent chair.
Confusion weighed down his features as he sat across from me, but he remained silent. As I reached for the blue cloak, Klaus let out a sigh.
“Aurelia, can you tell me—”
I cut him off by shaking my head and looking away. The words of truth were on the tip of my tongue;
“I don’t wish to explain. It would be better if you didn’t ask me,” I said. His eyebrows rose in surprise from my declaration.
“So I am to just remain ignorant?” Klaus asked as he lifted his fingers to his chin.
“Bitte . . .” I began. “I cannot supply the answers to all of your questions,” I managed, as a shudder ran down the length of my spine.
“So we are to live in a sort of dishonesty? Secrecy?”
Klaus pressed his back into the chair as he gestured between the two of us. His eyes were frustrated as they stared into mine. How was I to answer his questions truthfully? I remained quiet, tasting the unspoken words in my mouth.
“I just need time, Klaus,” I admitted. “I want to share the things that haunt me, but I need time. You can understand that, can’t you?” I asked as I darted my gaze into the flames of the
fire. From my peripheral vision, I saw him slowly nod, pressing a finger to his temple.
“Time,” he repeated thoughtfully. The longer I peeked at him from the corner of my eye, the more I found myself wondering what he was thinking. He was stoic and silent. And then with a breath, he leaned forward.
“Yes, I can give you time, Aurelia. As friends, you can share anything with me and there will be no prejudice.”
Klaus was being too kind. I knew there would always be judgment regarding my father and I. Some would perceive I had gone to his bed willingly. Some would accuse me of encouraging him to pursue me into a marriage bond with the request of my gowns. I knew many would turn their blame towards me for his death.
“I understand,” I replied. “I just need time.”
“Of course,” he said as he sat back into the chair and turned his gaze to the flames.
“Should we be leaving soon?” I asked.
I noticed the sun was almost gone through the open window. Klaus turned to look out and nodded.
“Yes, I suppose we should go.”
Klaus stood and lifted a nearby bucket of ashes and poured it over the flames, dulling the fire instantly. The room became thick with darkness and I slowly stood from the chair. Klaus’s hand found mine, and he walked me to the other side of the room. He paused only as we reached the door and brushed a strand of my hair from my shoulder.
“I know you’ve been through much, Aurelia,” he whispered. “I understand.”Despite the darkness, I could make out his soft features and I lifted my fingers to touch his cheek. The warmth of his skin against the pads of my fingertips sent a thrilling spark through my body.
“Danke,” I replied shakily.
Klaus’s fingers grasped my hand and carefully maneuvered it away from his cheek. Instead, he lifted my fingers to his lips, where he gently pressed a small kiss against my knuckles. For the first time, a shiver of pleasure encompassed me. In that moment, I wished I had known Klaus before my father’s assault. I wished I were a normal girl . . .
“Come,” he murmured with a smile in his words. “Let’s go home.”
33
I awoke to a gentle knock on my door and Adelais’s smug face as she wandered into the room with a tray. After placing it on the nearby table, she moved to the windows and parted the curtains, filling the room with sunshine. I squinted against the brilliant rays as I pushed myself up in the bed to sit.
“The palace has been alive with rumors of you and the prince being out late last night,” she remarked with a snort as she turned to look at me. I pushed the covers away and slid my feet to the floor. As I walked to the table, I kept my attention focused on the contents on the tray. Adelais crossed the room with a sigh and muttered,
“Do you have nothing to say for yourself?”
I ignored her question completely and gestured to the cup on the tray.
“What is this?”
“Spice tea,” she replied with a roll of her eyes. Perhaps she realized she’d get no answers from me, for she turned her attention to the armoire doors. I lifted the warm mug to my lips and enjoyed the sweet, soothing taste of the spice tea as I watched her. Adelais pulled a dress from the drawers and turned to look at me with a slight grin. She laid out the soft green fabric on the bed and looked to me for approval. I was in awe of the shiny silk dress. The front bodice had an assortment of beautiful embroidered flowers on it, which trailed down the front of the gown, all through the body of the dress.
“I thought perhaps you’d like this,” she said, pride on her features as she stood.
“It’s beautiful,” I agreed, my eyes traced over the delicate embroidery.
“I promise it’ll look much better on you than on the bed,” Adelais retorted as she lifted her hands to her waist. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the beautiful folds of fabric. Adelais cleared her throat and raised her brow curiously.
“Are you going to stand there all day staring at it, or wear it?” I lowered my cup to the table and walked to the bedside where she and the dress waited. She continued, “Will you need help, milady?”
Shaking my head in reply, I peeled off my nightgown and stepped into the green fabric quickly. I slid my arms through the sleeves and held it up into place as Adelais came behind me and began to tie it into place. My gaze drifted to my reflection in the nearby mirror, where I saw a girl I hardly recognized. She had a soft pink hue to her cheeks, and her hair appeared shiny and soft.
“I believe the prince is waiting for you,” Adelais commented, coming around to admire her handy work.
For a moment, I was able to forget the past; all that my father had done to me. For a moment, I was simply a girl in a beautiful gown.
“Is he in the dining room?” I asked, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. Adelais nodded as she began to gather my sheets and clothes from the day before. I didn’t wait to hear any more teasing comments from Adelais; I turned on my heel and left my rooms quickly. My feet moved without thought towards the dining room, as my heart began to beat wildly. What would Klaus think of my dress? Would he be glad to see me? After everything that had happened yesterday, there was a bond. . . something I had never felt with anyone before.
My mind wandered back to the beautiful lake and Klaus. In my mind, I could still see him lying in the grass, smiling at me. I realized I had grown attached to Klaus without even knowing. And while it was thrilling and exciting, it sent a cascade of fear through me. I did not want to do anything to tarnish the friendship we were developing.
I found Klaus standing by one of the windows, looking out silently as he held a cup of something steaming in his hands. I paused in the doorway to watch him; taking a moment to truly admire him. The more time I spent with him, the more I found myself trusting him. He was the first person, aside from Myriah, who I truly cared about. Klaus turned, placing his cup down onto the table before him; his attention was suddenly on me and he cleared his throat. The sound jolted me back from my thoughts.
“Guten Morgen, Aurelia,” he said warmly. Klaus paused, shifting his gaze over me, from my shoulders, down to where the dress swept over the polished floors. “You look . . . beautiful”
Nervously, my clammy hand slid a strand of my hair behind my ear.
“Come, let’s eat,” Klaus beckoned and moved towards the dining table, motioning with his hand for me to join him. I noticed none of the servants were in the room, tending to us or delivering food. As if to explain their absence, Klaus cleared his throat again.
“After the servants brought breakfast, I told them they could leave us for the morning.”
“Oh,” I replied softly, jerking an awkward nod. “I see . . .”
Klaus came to stand behind me and pulled my chair out. He placed his hand on the back of the chair with a small, polite grin.
“Bitte, sit.”
Following his command, I sat. Klaus walked to his chair and took a seat. The breakfast table was adorned with dried fruits, warmed bread, another bowl of creamy butter, along with cooked and roasted potatoes and sweet meats. Klaus lifted a dried berry to his lips as he glanced in my direction.
“Thank you again for coming to the cottage with me yesterday,” he said softly.
“Thank you for sharing it with me,” I replied and reached for a few of the cooked potatoes. After the long ride the night before, neither one of us had eaten a thing. Klaus watched with amusement as I filled my plate and began to nibble on my selections.
“I’m glad to see you’re eating well again,” he chuckled.
“What are you planning to attend to today?” I asked curiously, hoping we’d be able to spend more time with one another.
“I must tend to some of my duties today,” he admitted with a sigh. “I’ll probably go to the library and focus on some of the documents Lord Crestwood left for me to look over.”
My shoulders sagged slightly with disappointment. I wondered if the documents were in regards to his arranged marriage.
“For Foix de Lille?
” I asked, keeping my tone light. Klaus nodded as he lifted a piece of bread to his lips.
“Yes, for Foix de Lille,” he responded solemnly.
My chest suddenly felt heavy and my stomach twisted into knots. I wished even for a moment, he knew the truth; that he could know that I too was a princess with a title and lands. I could have offered just as much as any woman in Foix de Lille before I burned them all away.
“You may join me in the library,” he invited as he lifted his goblet to his lips.
The desire to eat suddenly disappeared and I slid my plate away. Klaus lifted his gaze to my plate and curiously shifted them back to me. I could see the apology in his eye as he leaned back in his chair.
“If you could have one wish,” I softly murmured, breaking the silence, “. . .what would you wish for?”
Klaus lifted his chin, his expression thoughtful as he parted his lips.
“For your happiness.”
“My happiness?” I asked, surprised.
Klaus nodded again and placed his hands on either side of his plate.
“I would want you to be happy, Aurelia.”
“What about your own happiness?” I tilted my head curiously, still taken aback by his honesty. “What would make you happy?”
“My happiness could only be met, if yours was satisfied,” he said thoughtfully. “What would make you happy, Aurelia?”
“Me?” I hadn’t ever thought about my own happiness, at least not since I had arrived to Saarland der Licht. I mimicked his actions, leaning back in my chair as I placed my hands on the table. As I felt his eyes scan over me, waiting for my reply, I realized I didn’t know how to answer his question. I didn’t know what would make me happy. If you weren’t engaged to be married. If my father hadn’t touched me. If Myriah hadn’t died. If you knew the truth about me. If you loved me . . .
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