by Sky Winters
He wasn’t quite sure what to expect from his mother at this point. Not to mention he hadn’t been in touch with anyone from his hometown in years. Orion had been his only close friend and that had gone up as quick as a puff of smoke. Lance had changed a lot since he’d left and he wasn’t sure how the people of the town would react to the fact that he was gay. Surely there had been rumors, small towns were like that, but he hadn’t had to confront any of it. Now he was going to be stuck there.
And he had no idea what to expect.
Chapter 4
“Lance! It’s really you. You came to take me home! I’m so glad.” Lance’s mother clutched at his hands with fingers that were little more than bone, her blue eyes brimming with tears as she looked up at him from her seat in a wheelchair.
“Of course, Ma, I would never leave you alone in the hospital. What kind of person do you take me for?”
Lance forced himself to smile and to keep it light. He hadn’t been expecting to find his mother looking so frail, and it took everything he had to maintain his composure. Sure, he hadn’t made it home for Christmas last year, but how could she have wasted away like this since the last time they’d seen each other?
“Well you never know,” his mother said. “I’m just so glad to see you. It feels like it’s been far too long.”
“It really has,” Lance said, pursing his lips and swallowing the lump in his throat. “I’m sorry about that.”
“So this is the boy you’ve been telling us all so much about.” A pleasant, African-American man came up behind Lance’s mother and placed his large hand over her thin shoulder. They exchanged large smiles, and the man turned his gaze to Lance. He was shocked by how handsome the doctor was and couldn’t help but wonder just how much his mother had told the man.
“It’s nice to meet you,” the doctor said, reaching his hand out and taking Lance’s for a firm pump. “My name is Daniel. I’m really glad to see that Mrs. Foster is going to be looked after.”
“Oh yes,” Lance’s mother said. “He’ll taking care of me from here. Don’t worry.”
Daniel’s eyes lingered briefly on Lance for a moment before he smiled genially. “Well good. You both take care now.”
Lance wheeled his mother outside, where his car was waiting.
“What do you think?” his mother asked, her eyes shining. “Isn’t Dr. Daniel handsome?”
Lance laughed out loud, completely taken aback by his mother’s conspiratorial tone. How long had she been wanting to check guys out with him? He’d thought she was completely against him being gay. Had her illness changed her that much?
“He certainly is attractive,” Lance said, starting to drive out of the parking lot. “But I’m sure that he’s already taken.”
Chapter 5
Lance brought his mother inside and had to swallow an audible gasp for fear of insulting his mother. The house was much farther gone than he remembered. It was dusty and dark, a contrast to how bright and clean it had been during his childhood. The floor was dirty and the wallpaper was beginning to fade, even tearing in some places. Lance tried to switch a light on, but nothing happened.
“Don’t you have electricity, Ma?” Lance asked, carefully guiding her to the armchair that he had bought her as a gift a few Christmases ago. He sat her down gingerly and looked around warily, as if he might see something terrible.
“Of course,” his mother replied. “It’s just that the light bulb burnt out and I haven’t gotten around to changing it yet.”
Of course she hadn’t. In her condition, she probably wasn’t able to change any of the light bulbs. Most of the house was dark, but she didn’t have anybody that she could ask for help. His mother had always been a proud and independent woman, so it wasn’t likely that she would have asked for help anyway, or even accepted help if it was offered by the people of her church. She would rather live in darkness.
“Well, it looks like I’m going to have to get some materials and fix this place up a bit. It looks like there are a few repairs I could be doing.”
His mother shook her head gently, resting it against the back of the chair. “Oh, that’s not necessary. It’s not as though you would get anything from it. I couldn’t ask you to go out of your way. You’re already here to take care of me. That’s more than enough.”
“I really don’t mind Ma,” Lance said, smiling gently at her. “This is my home too. I should have come home more often to help you take care of the place. I’m sorry I was so selfish.”
“You aren’t selfish honey,” his mother said. She swallowed hard before she continued. “I was selfish. I let my own judgments drive a wedge between us. I should never have done that. Maybe if I would’ve made it more welcoming here, you would have felt like it was still your home and you would’ve come back more often. That was my mistake.” She patted his hand. “Please don’t blame yourself.”
Lance gritted his teeth as tears sprang to his eyes. He had never expected his mother to apologize. It was very bizarre and overwhelming, but it was certainly welcome.
“I love you,” he said, smiling at her as calmly as he could.
“I love you too,” she said. The look on her face was peaceful, and it was the first time since Lance had been home that she looked like herself again.
All right…” He cleared his throat. “I’m going to go to town and grab some lightbulbs and something for dinner. How does pizza sound tonight? I know we’re going to have to get into the habit of eating healthy, just to make sure that everything stays how it should for you, but maybe for one last hurrah we could have some Julian’s? For old times’ sake.”
A huge smile spread across his mother’s face. “I’d love that.”
“You be all right here alone for an hour or two?” Lance asked, furrowing his eyebrows. He didn’t like the idea of leaving her alone.
“I’ll be more all right here than I would be in the car with you,” she replied. “Don’t worry honey, this is my home. And they gave me one of those bracelets where all I have to do is press a button and the paramedics will come and help me. Don’t worry about a thing.”
Lance smiled one last time at her before heading out the door and letting it close softly behind him.
Chapter 5
Driving through his own hometown was very surreal. He had never expected to come back for anything more than a holiday visit, especially under these circumstances, and he found everything looked just a bit different now that he knew he’d be around for a while. Not that those differences prevented him from knowing his way around. He could still find his way around the place with his eyes closed if he had to, but that made for bad driving.
He turned into the parking lot for the hardware store and locked his car instinctively, and then laughed. There was a pretty low chance that anybody would be around to break into his car in this town. It was nothing like living in Portland. Still, he left it locked just for good measure. You could never be too safe.
“Lance!” a familiar voice exclaimed as soon as he walked into the store.
“Tony?” Lance said hesitantly before turning around.
Sure enough, Tony Smith was standing behind him, managing the counter of the hardware store. He was balding a little bit, but otherwise he looked exactly the same as he used to. He came out from behind the counter and walked over to Lance. “Hey man, I haven’t seen you in ages. Are you in town a while?”
“Yeah it’s been a really long time,” Lance agreed. “Yeah I’m going to be here for a while now. My mom needs some help around the house. I’m here to get some light bulbs and, I was wondering, do you have anything I can use to take off some old wallpaper? I need to replace it.”
“Sure, no problem. But you’re also going to want some wallpaper to replace it with, right? You can’t just paint over that stuff, it gets really gross.”
“You’re right, maybe you could bring me a book of samples and my mom and I can pick it out together?”
“That sounds great,” Tony said. “
It’s no problem, man. Everything you need for that is in this aisle over here.” He walked Lance over to an aisle on the far left. “And if you need any help, just let me know. It’s a pretty self-explanatory process. You could probably just look up a video about it on the Internet or something.”
“Great, thank you.”
“No problem, man. Stay in touch all right? I’m sure Jenny would be really excited to see you.” Tony winked. “You know she always had a crush on your right? She hasn’t settled down with anybody else since you left. You might want to follow up on that. She’s Winston’s most eligible bachelorette.”
Tony turned away, grinning, but Lance cringed. Apparently the rumors hadn’t spread as much as he’d thought. He had forgotten how strange it could be to find himself interacting with somebody whose world was so black and white. People always just assumed that handsome men and beautiful women were supposed to end up together. But that wasn’t always the way that it ended up. In fact, Lance probably would be more interested in dating Dr. Daniel than he would be in dating Jenny. But if he ever dared to tell Tony that, it would probably be just one more acquaintance that he would lose to homophobia.
He shopped for the rest of his equipment quietly and said goodbye to Tony, his friendliness still straightforward but now tinged with discomfort after Tony’s comments about Jenny. Still, he was oblivious to how Lance was feeling, so he didn’t make any waves about it.
When he got out to his car, he was surprised to find it surrounded by a circle of motorcycles. Sitting on the hood of his car was a mean-looking biker, glaring at the door. When he caught Lance’s eye, he sneered.
“Welcome to Winston,” the man said. His voice was grating and it sounded as if all he ever did in his spare time was drink alcohol and smoke.
“Actually, I used to live here.”
“We don’t take too kindly to deserters,” one of the men on a motorcycle said gruffly.
“We won’t take too kindly to newcomers either. Let alone a newcomer deserter,” the man on the bike across from him said.
“Looks to me like you’re kind of both,” the man who was sitting on the head of his car said. Lance cringed. He wanted to tell him to get the hell off, he was denting the hood, but he knew that there was no point in picking a fight with so many men. Especially the dangerous biker gang that had always been discussed in whispers when he’d been a kid.
The first man who’d spoken nodded. “Yeah, he is. I guess that means we don’t like him much.”
“Look, I’m not here to cause any problems. It’s just that my mother is sick, and I’m here to take care of her. If you don’t mind, I need to get home and make sure that she’s okay. You don’t want to be the reason that something happens to her.”
The man on the hood of his car gave him a twisted grin. “Oh we don’t do we?”
All the men started to laugh, and Lance furrowed his eyebrows, gripping his shopping bag tightly. What was he supposed to do now? Get Tony?
“No,” a sudden deep voice said from behind Lance. “You don’t.” All of the bikers’ mouths clamped shut and their eyes widened.
Lance turned around slowly and his mouth fell open. Standing behind him, arms crossed over his chest, was Orion. His face was unmistakable. His eyes were still dark and brooding, although his body had gotten much larger and broader. Still, nobody else Lance had ever met could look so gorgeous scowling. He had let his hair grow longer, so that the thick black strands brushed against his shoulders, and he was wearing a black cut off vest and white tank top that showcased his muscular arms.
“Now apologized to the man and get the hell off of his car.”
“Shit,” the man said, sliding off of the hood of Lance’s car. “Sorry man. I didn’t know.”
“Yeah, sorry,” the rest of the men chorused, looking like scolded schoolchildren.
“Get the hell out of here you morons,” Orion barked. Everybody flinched, including Lance, and then they all rushed to obey, driving away and leaving Lance and Orion alone in the parking lot.
Chapter 6
“I can’t believe you’re back,” Orion said, his dark eyes roaming Lance up and down. “I didn’t think you would ever show your face back here.”
Lance’s heart constricted. At first he had been relieved to see Orion, but now he wasn’t so sure. Was Orion holding a grudge about what had happened between them on graduation day? He sure seemed to be implying that Lance had something to be ashamed of.
“My mother is sick,” Lance stammered, holding his shopping bag stupidly up toward Orion. “I’m here to help her. She needs to have the house fixed up a bit. And I was thinking about having some things installed in the bathroom to make it easier for her to be independent. Handrails and things like that.” He closed his mouth, realizing he was rambling, and offered Orion a shrug. “She got so old without me realizing it.”
“It happens pretty fast,” Orion said quietly. “I lost my dad a few years back. It wasn’t old age so much as foolhardiness, but time is still the same. It’s always over too fast.”
They stood in silence for a moment, the tension between them crackling. It had been so many years, but still what had happened seemed to rise up as a large elephant between them.
“Do you know what you’re doing with that stuff?” Orion asked, peering into the bag that Lance was still holding protectively out in front of himself.
“Not really. Tony said that it was easy enough though, I just have to try and find some kind of instructional video or something. But I’ve never been much of a handyman. You know me.”
It slipped out so naturally. Yes, Orion had known Lance, known him better than anyone. But that had been years ago. Still, some things never changed. Some people would always be good with their hands, like Orion, while others were more suited toward intellectual pursuits like Lance.
“That’s exactly why I asked you if you knew what you were doing. How about I help you out? It’d be good to see your mom again. She always seemed to feel sorry for me. She wasn’t like other people’s moms, who were terrified that I would corrupt their children.”
Lance nodded, eagerly accepting the olive branch. “Yeah, I bet she would really like to see you. She told me that she doesn’t get much company anymore.”
“Great, well, I’m free tomorrow afternoon. How does that sound to you?”
“It sounds great. It’ll give me some time to research the things I need to buy to make the house a little better for my mom to use. I think there’s a lot that we’re going to have to change. But don’t feel any pressure to stick out the whole project. It’s going to take a while.”
“Are you kidding? You think I would leave you alone in the house with power tools?” Orion said, with a sharp laugh. “Don’t count on it. Somebody’s got to be there to protect your mother.”
Lance laughed despite himself, and for a moment it felt as if things had never changed between them. But when he looked back at Orion, the smile faded from his lips. Time was always a factor, and it had changed this boy immensely, changed him into a man. Just because they were going to be fixing up his mom’s house together didn’t mean that they were automatically best friends again.
Orion had up and disappeared on him after all. He felt like he should be angry, bursting with questions, but surprisingly enough he was just happy to see Orion again.
“All right, tomorrow at noon, sharp, got it?” Orion said, glancing down at his watch.
“Got it,” Lance said.
“Great. Well my gang is waiting for me. We had some stuff to do tonight. If you’re going to get those lightbulbs in before dark, you might want to head back now.” Easily, with the muscular grace of an animal, Orion climbed back onto his motorcycle. And with a rev of his engine, he disappeared.
Chapter 7
That night, Lance finished washing up his mother’s dirty dishes after he changed all the lights in the house. His heart broke to discover that she had only two working lightbulbs, and neither of them were in very co
nvenient places. She kept the closet light on during the night, but otherwise she basically lived in darkness. There was a lamp or two that she had bought, but since she had been so sick it was still difficult for her to maintain them.
Once his mother was in bed, Lance went up to his old bedroom and found that it was just about the same as he had left it. He found himself wandering over to the window and gazing outside, wondering what Orion was up to. It seemed strange that he was the leader of the biker gang now, despite Orion being the logical replacement for his dad. He’d always imagined better things for Orion. Maybe his own woodworking studio, since he’d been so good at that.
He almost picked up the rotary phone beside his bed to dial Orion’s number. It seemed so natural for him to fall back into old habits again. This was his hometown, and everything was so familiar. But it wasn’t who he was anymore. He was a proud and out gay man who lived in Portland, a big detail he’d left out of his conversation with Orion. Sure, Orion probably had his suspicions, but a conversation about it in the parking lot was probably the last thing that he wanted.
Lance sighed heavily, before deciding that he would shower before he slept. As the water ran down his body, he couldn’t help but keep Orion close to his thoughts. There had been a time in his life where Orion was on his mind constantly, and it was completely natural. It wasn’t as if they were dating, but they had shared so much of their lives with one another. Now that he was back in his hometown, it seemed as if it was natural for him to rewind the time as if nothing had changed. But everything had changed.
Lance finally laid down in his old bed, plagued by thoughts of Orion and the awkward first kiss they had shared in the drama club room. Did it really count as a first kiss when it was the only kiss? He gritted his teeth, his face flushing a furious red, and then closed his eyes. He wouldn’t allow himself to think about it anymore. Orion would be at his house in the morning. He was the leader of a biker gang for crying out loud. He might even beat Lance up for mentioning what happened. Lance would just have to try and forget, and leave the rest to fate.
