Philippa Carr - [Daughters of England ]

by Gossamer Cord

  I telephoned Richard, for I had arranged for him to pick me up at ten o’clock. I was going to take him for a tour of the countryside, lunch out, and return about four, when he would drop me at Tregarland’s and collect me to take me back to the hotel for dinner.

  I said that after the doctor had been here, I would call him and we would meet later.

  The doctor did not arrive until eleven o’clock. He apologized for being so long. One of his patients was about to give birth and he had been delayed with her.

  He examined Tristan.

  “Rather a nasty chill,” he said. “Just keep him away from draughts. He should be all right in a day or so.”

  Matilda, who was present, said: “Nanny Crabtree will look after him, I know.”

  “That I will,” declared Nanny Crabtree.

  “You know how it is with children,” said the doctor. “They are up and down. We want to make sure that it doesn’t settle on his chest. Wrap him up warm…coddle him a bit. He’ll be fine in a day or two.”

  “Well, that’s a relief,” said Nanny Crabtree.

  When the doctor had gone, Matilda said to me: “What about your friend?”

  “I postponed our time of meeting. I will ring him now.”

  “It is nearly lunchtime. Why don’t you ask him to have it with us?”

  I telephoned Richard and gave him Matilda’s invitation. He accepted, but I sensed he was not very pleased. I was learning something about Richard. He hated his plans to be disrupted.

  He came. It was quite a pleasant lunch. Dermot was not present. He could not face meeting people. Gordon was there and he and Richard got on well together.

  By the time lunch was over, it was nearly half past two and there would not be much time for us to drive far, so we decided to sit in the gardens.

  It was very pleasant there with the house behind us and the sea facing us. Paths wound down to the private beach. I could never look at that beach without imagining Dorabella down there…taking off her robe and putting it with her shoes at the top of the rock which protruded from the water so that they would not be carried out to sea.

  It was not really a very satisfactory day. Richard was certainly a little put out because of the disruption to our plans, which I sensed he felt had not been necessary. The child had a cold and for that reason his brief stay here had been spoiled. He was very charming though and talked of what was going on in London. We spoke of Edward and Gretchen and the plays he had recently seen. I think he was trying to make me see what a rewarding life I should have with him. He spoke of his work and the case he was now working on. His client was accused of fraud and he was beginning to doubt his innocence.

  “What happens when you are trying to convince the jury of something you don’t altogether believe in yourself?” I asked.

  “What I have to think of is the best thing for him if he is found guilty.”

  “You must learn a great deal about human nature,” I said.

  “Yes…perhaps.”

  We talked of the situation in Europe, which he said was becoming more and more depressing. He did not know where it was going to end. It had been a mistake for England and France to give way over Austria. It would not stop there. There was going to be trouble in Czechoslovakia next. Hitler was instructing Konrad Henlein to agitate there.

  “Henlein is the leader of the German minority there, and he is arranging demonstrations by the Sudeten Germans. Of course, Hitler’s next plan will be the annexation of Czechoslovakia. There is an uneasy feeling everywhere.”

  “What do you think will happen?”

  “The fact is, there is a growing fear of war. Hitler will take Czechoslovakia. People here say, ‘It is a long way off. What is it to do with us?’ They can’t see any farther than their noses. All they can do is bury their heads in the sand. They call those who see the danger ahead ‘war mongers.’ We should be arming. Chamberlain knows it. I believe he is abandoning his policy of appeasement. He wants us to arm ourselves as quickly as we can.”

  “Do you think there will be a war?”

  “It’s a possibility. And we should be unprepared if it happened now. Even so, there are those who vote against arming ourselves. The Labour Party, the Liberals, and a few Conservatives will vote against it…and then…”

  “You paint a gloomy picture, Richard.”

  “Yes, I’m sorry. But the way we are going, it does seem grim. They can’t really think that Hitler will be satisfied with Austria. He’ll soon have Czechoslovakia. Then he will try for Poland, and after that…what? It is the people who scream for peace who make the wars.”

  “Let us hope it never happens.”

  “None of these catastrophes would happen if people would only show a little foresight.”

  “Do you think something can be done now?”

  “It’s getting late. But if we and the French and the rest of the world stood together, that could be the end of Hitler’s search for Lebensraum.”

  I said: “I think of Gretchen.”

  “Yes, poor girl. I know she is very anxious indeed.”

  “I am glad she is here with Edward.”

  “She thinks of her family and her country.”

  “Isn’t it sad to contemplate what can happen to people?”

  I was looking down at the beach and in my imagination she was there, throwing off her robe, running into the sea.

  No, no, I thought. I cannot believe it of Dorabella. There would be a chill in that sea…most people did not bathe until May at least. Dorabella had liked comfort. She was inclined to be lazy. I did not believe it. I could not.

  I was aware of Richard beside me. “Don’t think I am not interested in what you are saying,” I murmured. “It’s just that I can’t stop thinking of Dorabella.”

  “You should get away,” he told me. “It’s the best thing. Get right away from all this.” He took my hand and pressed it. “In London…it would be different. There’s so much to do. You wouldn’t have time for brooding.”

  “Perhaps you are right,” I said. “But not yet, Richard. I have to wait. I have to make myself see what I should do.”

  He nodded patiently and we went on sitting there. Matilda came out to join us.

  “I do hope you’ll stay to dinner,” she said. “It is so nice for Violetta to have her friends down from London.”

  Richard accepted the invitation.

  Before he left he reminded me that he had to get back to London and tomorrow would be his last day.

  “We’ll do something special,” he said.

  It was early morning of that Saturday when Nanny Crabtree burst into my room. I had just awakened and was lying in my bed, contemplating getting up. Richard would be coming at ten o’clock. I must be ready. I would try to make up to him for the disappointment of the previous day.

  I saw at once that there was something wrong. Nanny Crabtree was pale and her eyes were fierce. She was greatly agitated.

  “I want the doctor at once,” she said.

  I struggled up.

  “It’s Tristan?” I cried. “He’s worse…I’ll telephone the doctor right away.”

  “Do that. It’s on his chest…having difficulty breathing. Get him quick.”

  I picked up my dressing gown and ran downstairs, Nanny Crabtree at my heels.

  She stood beside me while I telephoned.

  The doctor said he would be with us in an hour.

  “How bad is he?” I asked Nanny.

  “God alone knows. Four o’clock this morning, it was. I thought I heard him cough. It woke me. It’s a habit you get when you’re with children. I went in and there he was…all the bedclothes off…and, could you believe it, that window beside his cot was open…just enough to let in a draught. I couldn’t believe it. I had tucked him in so he couldn’t throw anything off. I had that window shut. There’s a cold wind blowing in from the sea. It must have been one of them maids, though what she was doing in my nursery I don’t know. I’d seen to him and he’d gone off to
sleep…”

  “He must have been terribly chilled.”

  “To the bone. That’s what’s brought this on. I only hope it’s not going to turn to pneumonia. He’s too little. If I find out who opened that window, I’ll be ready to kill the one who did it.”

  I went up to see Tristan. He was tucked in with extra blankets and there were hot water bottles on either side of him. His face was flushed and he was shivering every now and then. His eyes had lost their brightness. He opened them for a second or two and then closed them. I felt sick with anxiety. I knew that he was very ill.

  “I wish that doctor would come,” said Nanny Crabtree. “He’s taking his time.”

  “He said in an hour. It’s not fifteen minutes yet. Nanny…how is he, really?”

  “Not too good. He’s had this chill. He was sleeping and warmly tucked in when I left him. I thought he’d be better in the morning. Children throw things off easy. They worry you sick, and then in half an hour they’re right as rain. I was a bit anxious about him. You always are…you never know what can flare up suddenly. It was four o’clock…I just heard that cough and there I was. I felt the draught as I came in. He was lying there…uncovered, with that wind blowing in right onto him. Well, I shut the window fast as I could and I got him wrapped up and warm. He was like a little iceberg. But he’s taken a chill, no doubt of that. I wish that doctor would come.”

  I washed and dressed and was ready when the doctor arrived. He went straight to Tristan and I could see by his expression that we had done right to call him immediately.

  He said: “We’ll have to take care of him. It’s not pneumonia…yet. Well, we’ll do our best. He’s a strong little fellow, but he is young, very young. He didn’t seem all that bad when I saw him last.”

  “I found him with the clothes off him,” said Nanny. “He was just in his little nightshirt…”

  “Well, we’ll see what we can do.”

  I could not believe this. Dorabella dead and now the child threatened. There was something evil in this place.

  Matilda was deeply concerned.

  “Poor little mite,” she said. “I thought it was just a cold and, in fact, when the doctor came yesterday, I didn’t think it was really necessary.”

  “I’m glad he saw him yesterday,” I said. “He can see what a big change there has been.”

  “It’s not…dangerous?”

  “The doctor thinks it could be. It’s so sudden. I feel…” I turned away and she slipped her arm through mine.

  She said: “I know. One thing after another. Life can be like that sometimes. Everything seems to go wrong.”

  “Nanny went in this morning. She found him frozen. He had thrown off the bedclothes and the window was open—the one by his cot.”

  “Did Nanny leave it open?”

  “Oh, no! She would never do a thing like that. The wind was blowing straight down onto his cot and she wouldn’t let him be in a draught. The result might have been disastrous. Thank goodness she woke up when she did.”

  “I suppose he kicked off his bedclothes. But who opened the window?”

  “Nanny says she doesn’t understand it. She said she tucked him in so tightly that he couldn’t have thrown off the bedclothes. And she certainly didn’t leave the window open.”

  “She must have. I expect she forgot. She is a little old.”

  “I never thought of her age. She’s as efficient as ever. She looks after Tristan as she did after us. Little escapes her.”

  “But to leave a window open like that.”

  “I can’t believe she did.”

  Matilda shrugged her shoulders. “Well, it has happened. The thing is to get Tristan well. Dr. Luce is very good. He will do what is best. Do you think I could see Tristan?”

  “I don’t know what the doctor’s orders are. Let’s go up and see Nanny.”

  Nanny Crabtree came to the nursery door.

  “I’ve got to watch him,” she said. “If there is a change I’m to call the doctor at once.”

  Matilda looked startled. “Is it as bad as that then?”

  Nanny said: “I don’t want him left. Miss Violetta, I want you here.”

  “Your friend…” began Matilda.

  I had forgotten Richard. I looked at my watch. It was nine thirty. I had promised to be ready by ten.

  “You should go out and have a pleasant day with him,” said Matilda.

  “I couldn’t have a pleasant day. I’d be thinking all the time of what was happening to Tristan.”

  “You should be here, Miss Violetta,” said Nanny Crabtree. “I don’t want anyone coming in here and opening windows.”

  She looked fierce and angry. Matilda exchanged a glance with me.

  I said to her: “You see that he is really ill.”

  She tiptoed to the cot.

  “Poor little thing,” she said. “He does look poorly.”

  “I’ll pull him through,” said Nanny Crabtree. “And then I’ll have something to say if I find anyone opening windows in my nursery.” She turned to me. “I don’t want him throwing off the bedclothes. He’s got to be kept warm. The doctor will be back this afternoon to take a look at him.”

  Matilda said: “If I can be of any help…”

  “That is kind of you, Mrs. Lewyth,” said Nanny. “But we’ll be able to manage.”

  Matilda looked at me helplessly.

  I said to Nanny: “I’ll be back in a moment,” and went out with Matilda.

  “You really shouldn’t disappoint that nice young man,” she said.

  “I can’t help it.”

  “I could be up there to help Nanny. You should go off with your friend.”

  “I couldn’t. I must know what is going on. I shall telephone him and explain.”

  I did. He was amazed and dismayed, and a little indignant. I could understand that. He had made this journey to see me. Yesterday had been a disappointment, and now this.

  He said he would call at the house in the afternoon and rang off.

  I felt very sorry, but my thoughts were really with Tristan. I knew he was in a precarious state. The doctor had hinted as much, and the fact that he thought it necessary to call again this afternoon confirmed that.

  Nanny Crabtree and I sat in the nursery, every now and then glancing toward the cot. If he as much as moved, Nanny Crabtree was there, murmuring endearments, watching tenderly.

  When she talked to me her indignation was apparent.

  Someone had come into the room and opened the window. Why? Was it one of those fresh-air people who thought it wasn’t healthy unless you were blasted off your feet, and didn’t get goose pimples from the cold? If she could find the one who opened that window, she’d see that they didn’t show their face in her nursery ever again.

  “I mean to say…to open a window. Why?”

  I could not answer that question, and Matilda’s hint that Nanny was getting old and could have forgotten to shut it came into my mind. No…never. Not when she had been wrapping Tristan up and had been told by the doctor to keep him warm.

  But who else? One of the maids who came up after Nanny Crabtree had left Tristan for the night? It was ludicrous. But if she had brought something in, thought the room seemed stuffy, might she not have opened the window? No one would have done such a thing. Could it really be that Nanny Crabtree herself had really forgotten to shut the window?

  Whatever happened, it was done, and had its dire effect.

  All through the morning we were with Tristan. Nanny Crabtree would not allow him to be left alone. If she had to go out of the room for a few minutes, she wanted me to be there.

  Richard came in the late afternoon and wanted me to go back with him to the hotel. I said I could not concentrate on anything. I should be thinking of what was happening here.

  “Tristan is very ill, indeed,” I said. “Nanny Crabtree wants me here.”

  He said little and Matilda suggested he stay to dinner. He did. I went down to it knowing that Nanny Crab
tree would let me know if there was any change. The doctor had been there and had said that at least the child’s condition had not worsened.

  A pall hung over us all. Dermot joined us. There was a look of haggard misery on his face. Gordon tried to entertain Richard and they talked about the estate, the law, and the situation on the Continent. I was glad when the meal was over.

  Richard left soon after. He was a little aloof. He would be leaving for London early next morning, for he was not sure how the trains ran on Sundays and he must be back in town by Monday.

  It had been a disastrous visit; but my thoughts were all with Tristan.

  During the night Nanny Crabtree and I took it in turns to sit with Tristan. I had a few hours sleep on her bed while she was on the watch.

  In the morning, Tristan seemed to be breathing a little more easily. The doctor came and said he was well pleased. He thought we were going to avoid pneumonia after all.

  “Now,” said Nanny Crabtree to me, “you are going to get a good night’s sleep tonight.”

  “And what of you?”

  “I shall sleep, too. I’ll be at hand, though. I think he’s over the worst, out of danger now. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly the young recover.”

  I did sleep. I was exhausted and the first thing I did in the morning was to go to the nursery.

  Nanny Crabtree was smiling happily.

  “Come and look at him. There he is. Why did you want to give us all that trouble, eh, my lord? You little rogue, you. You had us worried. Now look at you.”

  I kissed him and he gave a little cluck of pleasure.

  I was filled with thankfulness.

  I wrote to Richard telling him how sorry I was that his stay had been disrupted. Tristan had almost completely recovered. The doctor had said that in a few days he would be back to normal.

  “It was such a pity, Richard,” I wrote, “that it should have happened just then. I am so sorry…”

  I pictured him reading the letter. He had been very disappointed, indeed, and I was sure that he was thinking there had been no need for all the fuss. The child was not ill after all.