“I’m telling you everything I know to tell you, Zander. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you to begin with.”
* * *
The ride to school was tense, with Zander still wanting answers to his questions, and Quinn too enraged at her mother to think clearly. It was bad enough that her mom was avoiding her – did she have to keep saying things around Zander that complicated the situation more?
Once they arrived, her hopes of talking to William were dashed. Zander walked with her everywhere, delivering her to the door of World History, where Abigail was waiting for her expectantly.
She swallowed hard at the sight of her best friend – she never had actually called or texted her back yesterday. Sometime over the weekend, Abigail had dyed several strands of her hair a violent shade of red. Quinn supposed it was futile to hope that wasn’t an indicator of her friend’s mood.
“What in the heck, Quinn?” Abigail hissed as she and Zander approached. “You can’t even be bothered to text me back?”
She knew she deserved every bit of her friend’s anger, that Abbie had done nothing to deserve this. At the moment, though, she was so wrapped up in her own rage and confusion that she had no idea how to respond. In fact, it was taking every ounce of strength she could muster to stand there at all. All she really wanted to do was run, to get as far away from here as possible so she could have a few minutes just to think.
At that moment, the one-minute warning bell sounded overhead, relieving her of the need to explain things to Abigail right then. For the hundredth time that morning, she took a deep breath, trying to collect her thoughts and emotions.
“I will talk later, Abbie, I promise. Just … not at school, okay?”
Abigail’s eyes narrowed; it was clear that she wasn’t going to let Quinn keep getting away with this.
She turned around to look at Zander, a heavy feeling forming in the pit of her stomach. “I’ll talk to you more later, too. Can you just be patient with me for a little while?”
He nodded, and bent to kiss her on the top of her head, though she could feel the gap between them grow wider.
Although she knew that she absolutely needed to pay attention today in World History – more, even than in any of her other classes, she struggled to do it. Her thoughts were a tangled mess as she worried about her relationships with Zander and Abigail, stewed in her anger at her mother. For a few minutes, she felt sorry for herself, wishing she’d left well enough alone and never followed William through that gate.
As soon as her thoughts drifted to the gate, though, she remembered that Thomas had come through last night, and she shifted to worrying about whether or not Nathaniel had managed to get the surgery scheduled today. Then all she wanted to do was get to William, talk to him, and if he was worried, she wanted to be there to comfort him.
Somehow, as she thought about Thomas’ surgery, about Nathaniel and William working to get him through the gate and taken care of, her mind cleared a little, and she realized what she needed to do – at least as far as school and her friends were concerned. In a way, a big way, really, dealing with the details of her life here was no different than what she’d just had to do in William’s world as they searched for Thomas, waiting to be able to rescue him.
There were smaller, but important, things that had to be taken care of while she waited to solve the bigger ones. She just had to do them. And freaking out wasn’t going to help anything.
By the time the bell rang again, she was calm. Her rage towards her mother was carefully tucked away, waiting for later. Her friends didn’t deserve the way she had been treating them lately, and she wasn’t going to take her confusion out on them anymore.
She shoved her notebook into her backpack and looked up at her friend. “I’m really sorry, Abbie. There’s no excuse for my not calling you or texting you back. I could say it’s because I didn’t have my phone with me this weekend, but that doesn’t explain why I didn’t call you yesterday. There’s a lot of stuff going on, and I’ll tell you as much as I can later, okay?
Abigail looked a little stunned at the sudden change in Quinn’s demeanor, but she nodded.
“I’ll see you at lunch, okay?”
Quinn turned toward the door, knowing that Zander would appear soon. She was ready for him when he arrived, relaxed and smiling, carefully forming her expression so he could see that she was happy to see him.
And she found that she was actually happy to see him. Regardless of whatever else was going on, she really and truly cared about Zander; even though she wasn’t quite sure where her feelings stood on the relationship front, she did love him, and she always had. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him.
He seemed to notice the change, and he visibly relaxed as they walked through the hallway together, carrying her books, and slipping his hand inside hers.
* * *
The day passed more quickly than she had imagined it would, given the way it had started. She didn’t even have the same trouble she usually had re-acclimating to her classes after a trip to Eirentheos. She wondered if she would make the trip enough times that the transition would become second nature, the way it seemed to be for William.
The one downside was that she never got the chance to talk to William. Although she had caught a few glimpses of him in the hallways between her morning classes as she walked with Zander, he wasn’t in the cafeteria at lunchtime. And after lunch, she never saw him again.
In keeping with her new attitude, she figured it was better not to worry about it. Whatever else they were, they were friends now, and she could call him tonight and ask.
The biggest threat to her calm came at the end of the day, when her phone buzzed to alert her to a new text message as Zander was walking her to her locker after her last class.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, after she viciously snapped the device shut.
“Apparently, my mom talked to Mrs. Williams, and arranged for me to go into work this evening to make up for the shift I missed on Thursday night. She said she wanted to let me know in plenty of time, in case I needed to walk.”
“I still don’t understand what you could have done to upset your mom this much, Quinn. She’s not normally like this.”
“I told you what I did. I ran off with Doctor Rose and William this weekend without her permission.”
“And what? Got arrested? Boiled a live puppy? It’s not like your mom to act like this.”
Quinn shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I guess there’s some history between Na – Doctor Rose and my mom that I never knew about.”
“Between your mom and Doctor Rose? What kind of history?”
“If I knew that, Zander, I would not be as confused and angry as I am right now. I don’t understand any of it, and she won’t tell me anything. I haven’t even talked to her since yesterday morning when she came into my room and practically threw my phone at me, saying she’d changed her mind about grounding me from it. Then she left and went to Denver. The only other contact I’ve had from her is what you saw yesterday, and then this morning when she apparently intended for me to figure out the keys were missing when I went to get in the car to come to school.”
“Wow. No wonder you’re so upset.” He gently squeezed her shoulder.
“I know I deserve for her to be mad at me, but I think at the moment, I’m angrier than she is.”
3. Mrs. Williams
Zander offered to take her over to his house for the hour before her shift at the library, but she was nervous about seeing her boss, and she figured it was best to get it over with. Besides, she knew that Zander had to work that evening, too, and she didn’t want to take up any of his time to do homework or get ready.
There was an odd friction in the air between them, though, when he pulled into a parking space at the library so long before her shift would actually start.
“I’ll be here to pick you up at the end of your shift, okay?”
She nodded.
He leaned across the seat
and kissed her on the forehead. There was an urgency to the gesture that was palpable in the air between them. She lifted her face, looking into his eyes, and he moved down, kissing her on the lips this time instead. The kiss quickly turned intense; her whole body shifted closer to him, and he grabbed her arm, moving her even closer, as his other hand reached into her hair …
And then it ended abruptly.
Zander pulled back, a look of alarm in his eyes, his hand dropping instantly from her arm. “I’m so sorry! Did I hurt you?”
She was confused for several seconds as she tried to figure out what he meant. Then she remembered. The last time she and Zander had been this close to each other – days ago for him, weeks ago for her, – her right arm had still been covered in cuts and bruises, and she’d still had stitches William had put in after an accident in his world.
“Oh,” she said, brushing off her sleeve. “Doctor Rose took the stitches out this weekend, and it’s not as sore when you touch it now.” All still technically true – in Eirentheos William was also known as Doctor Rose. “I’m okay.”
“Are you sure?” He still looked concerned.
“Yeah. Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you in a few hours?”
“I’ll be here.”
* * *
When Quinn first stepped inside the library, she couldn’t see her boss anywhere. It wasn’t busy at all; there were maybe two or three patrons wandering deep in the stacks and one sat at a table near the gardening books, taking extensive notes from a thick volume.
Behind the circulation desk, she could see way too many carts full of books that needed re-shelving – her missing Thursday night meant the job had piled up from most of last week and the weekend, too. It might take her tonight’s shift and tomorrow’s to get to all of it.
It wasn’t time to clock in yet, though, so she made her way to the back room in search of the librarian.
Sylvia Williams was standing at a tall work counter, carefully repairing a plastic dust jacket that had come loose from a book. She had to use a small stepstool to reach comfortably.
“Hi Mrs. Williams,” Quinn said, stepping into the room. She tucked her hands in the pockets of her jeans to keep them from shaking.
“Oh, hi, sweetheart. I’m so glad to see you. Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, I just … I’m really sorry for leaving work on Thursday night. I never meant to do something like that. I think I got carried away or something.”
Mrs. Williams nodded, her blue eyes shining kindly from behind thick glasses. The little glass gems on the chain that held her glasses around her neck tinkled slightly with the movement. “It seemed like something pretty serious was going on with William,” she said. “I figured the two of you would never have run off like that if it wasn’t important.”
Quinn’s mouth fell open in surprise. “So, you’re not mad?”
Mrs. Williams smiled. “I’ve known you since you were a baby, Quinn. I’ve never seen you make a decision that didn’t have some kind of a reason behind it. Don’t start making a habit of it or anything, but no, I’m not mad.”
“I really am sorry.”
“I know you are. It sounds like you got in enough trouble with your mom already, though. You’ve got a whole lifetime ahead of you to be sorry, sweetheart. You’ll make much bigger mistakes than leaving in the middle of a shift at an after-school job as a teenager.”
“My mom doesn’t seem to think so.”
The older woman shrugged, her tiny shoulders moving up and down in an exaggerated fashion. “She’s doing what moms do. Besides, your mother has always been the more serious type, like you usually are. I was beginning to wonder if I’d ever see your dad’s spunk in you.”
Quinn’s eyes widened. “Did you know my dad well, then?”
Mrs. Williams’ smile lit up her face. “Sure I did. Back before Nathaniel went away to medical school, he was always in here studying, the way William does now, and your father was always here, distracting him.”
“Nathaniel Rose?”
“Oh, yes. Nathaniel and Samuel were such close friends, always together, those two.”
A cold chill ran down her spine. Her father and Nathaniel had been friends? “I didn’t even know they really knew each other.”
Mrs. William’s nodded, a somber expression on her face. “Your mother was devastated when Samuel died, Quinn. For a couple of years there, I don’t think she wanted to be around anyone or anything that reminded her of him. There was even a rumor for a while that she planned to move away, to go to Denver or somewhere else, just to get away from all of the things here that made her think of him. I think Nathaniel was one of those things. Although she didn’t end up leaving, she never did have the same kind friendship with him afterward.
“I was really happy for her when she met Jeff, and things seemed to start looking so much better for her. You liked Jeff, too. Then you all moved into the new house, and Jeff adopted you and then Owen was born. Megan was really happy again.”
“But she still wasn’t really friends with Nathaniel.” Quinn turned this over in her mind, trying to fit the pieces together. It still didn’t explain anything about why her mom had known to be sitting at the bridge.
“No. She and Nathaniel were never good friends again after that. I always thought it was such a shame for you, and Nathaniel, too. He was so fond of you when you were little, doting over you, and buying you presents every time you were out with him. The shopkeepers on Main Street were always happy to see Samuel and Nathaniel walking up the boardwalk with you. Often, the two of them would take you out on Saturday afternoons, saying they were giving your mom a break – but they loved it just as much – and you never went home empty-handed.”
“Wow, I had no idea.” Quinn felt moisture in the corners of her eyes. It had been a long time since she’d allowed herself to think this much about her real dad, who had died when she was three. She didn’t really remember him, and it was strange to realize that there were other people who remembered her with him. It was even stranger to think that Nathaniel might be one of those people.
“I was pleased when William came to live with Nathaniel, and he had another child to love on. It’s been good for him. It’s been really wonderful lately to see you and William getting to know one another. I’ve been hoping it would mean you and Nathaniel re-connecting as well.”
“I don’t think my mom wants that.”
“Your mother loved your father very much, Quinn. In a way, I don’t think she’s ever completely gotten over losing him, and maybe she never will. And she loves you, too. The two of you will get through your current battle, and you’ll come out stronger on the other side.”
Quinn nodded, hoping that was true.
“And in the meantime, if there’s a reason you need to miss work, or you have something going on – just let me know, okay?”
* * *
When Zander pulled up in front of Quinn’s house to drop her off, all of the front windows were dark, except for the one tiny light in the window above the front door. Even the window to her mom’s room was black.
“Your mom has to be home by now, doesn’t she?”
She shrugged. “I’m sure she is. I doubt if they even went anywhere tonight.”
“So she’s just going to bed this early to avoid you again.”
She didn’t answer.
He stretched across the seat, reaching for her hand. She accepted it, debating telling him what she’d found out about her dad and Nathaniel Rose. She wanted to tell him, but she wasn’t sure if bringing up Nathaniel right now would be helpful with the strain already between them.
“What are you going to do for a car when Jeff comes home, anyway?”
The question startled her, and there was a strained quality to Zander’s voice that made her suspect this wasn’t just a random question. She frowned. “I don’t know. My mom and Jeff sometimes talked about buying me one, but I never really wanted to talk about it. I was still sort of freaked out a
bout the whole idea of getting my license when Jeff’s team was offered that contract in Afghanistan. By the time I decided I was actually going to do it now, he already knew he was going to be gone. Why? Do you think my mom’s going to ground me from his car permanently or something?”
He shook his head. “No. I just … You haven’t talked to your mom at all, Quinn?”
“I told you what’s been going on.”
Zander sighed, his brown eyes darker than usual. “Have you, Quinn?”
She swallowed, red coloring her cheeks, though at the moment she was driven more by needing to know what was behind his careful tone than she was by her guilt. “How about you tell me what you’re hinting around about, and then I’ll tell you something interesting I learned at work tonight?”
He looked taken aback, but he answered. “What I’m hinting around about is whether or not your mom has told you that Jeff might be coming home soon?”
Ice water poured through her veins. “Before June?”
“Yeah. She told my mom the other night that when she Skyped with him this weekend, he told her that they’ve been ahead on their project for a long time now. He’s had an idea that they might be coming back early for a while, but he didn’t want to say anything until he was sure.”
“So when you said might …”
“Unless something changes, he’ll be back in a month.”
Under any other circumstances, this would have been fantastic news. She loved her adopted father, and Owen and Annie missed him like crazy. Having him gone had been really difficult for her mom, too. After already losing Quinn’s dad, it really upset her to have Jeff so far away, especially when she worried he might be in danger, even though he assured her all the time that he was only a civilian contractor and he was safe.
Thorns of Decision (Dusk Gate Chronicles) Page 3
