Please don’t let her be puking again, I thought as she made a bee line to the bathroom. All this food, along with her Christmas binge, would trigger her bulimia. The idea of it made my stomach turn, too.
“Sorry.” The look on her face confirmed my suspicions when she returned to the table. “Are you sleeping over tonight?”
“I guess so.” I really wanted to go back to Aidan’s, but I didn’t know if that was even an option.
“What, do you have a date or something?” She raised her eyebrows.
“No.” I tried not to whine.
“Awesome. There’s a party at one of the off-campus houses tonight. I think it’s Trash the Ugly Christmas Sweater or something like that. Scott’s got some hot friends, I know you’ve got a new man, but it’s never a bad idea to keep your options open.”
“Can’t we just stay in and watch movies?” The frat party sounded like a nightmare. There wasn’t enough booze in Boston to make me want to hang out with a bunch of drunk frat boys. Paige tried so hard to impress these people and I just didn’t get it.
“Boring.” She rolled her eyes. I started thinking of a loophole to get out of going to this party. It must have been written all over my face, because she changed her tune. “Unless we have a Twilight marathon?”
Paige was way more of a Twilight fan than I ever was, but I had no problem staring at Taylor Lautner for the night. “Sounds perfect.”
“Just make sure you tell my mom you went to your aunt’s house, okay?” Paige said as we gathered our things to leave. “She’ll take it as an insult that you didn’t come to our party otherwise.”
Six
What a nightmare.
“Have you found an apartment yet?” Paige’s mother asked before I even took off my scarf.
“Not yet.” This woman had probably never worked a day in her life. She wouldn’t understand credit, references, or first, last and security. Or that I had none of it.
“I thought Paige said you moved in with your aunt,” she continued, hardly taking her eyes off of the twenty-four hour news channel she felt compelled to watch twenty-four hours a day. “Where are you staying?”
“Tonight, I’m staying here. Do you mind if I have one of those cookies?” Frosted sugar cookies taunted me from the center island that separated the giant kitchen from the high ceilinged family room. They were my favorite and I hadn’t had one yet this Christmas.
“Are you hungry?” She jumped up quickly, assuming the worst without wanting to ask. I must have sent her motherly guilt into overdrive. “Because I can heat up some leftovers for you.”
“Geez, Mom, calm down, we just ate. You don’t have to go shoving food down our throats,” Paige groaned. “Wanna see what I got at the mall?”
I wandered into the family room, munching on my sugar cookie, while Paige went upstairs to start her fashion show. The opened presents, already forgotten, dwarfed the usually open, airy room. The Christmas tree lights still twinkled, even though its day had come and gone.
“Don’t mind the mess in there. I have to put all this crap away.” Paige’s mom flitted about, making a halfhearted attempt to tidy the room.
“It looks gorgeous.” The high ceiling in this room made me feel tiny ever since I was a little kid. I wished I could spray the balsam scent of the tree on my wrist like a perfume and inhale it any time I needed a little pick-me-up.
“Thanks. I tried to scale back this year, but you know I can’t help myself.” Paige’s mom went all out decorating for every holiday. When we were kids, it made this house pure magic. Now it just gave Paige something else to bitch about. “Are you starting school this semester, Kyndra?”
Inhale tree scent. Close eyes. Count to ten. “Not this semester.” I plastered a smile on my face.
“Are you still working at the mall?” She sounded more disappointed than curious.
After this week, my hours would dwindle, which did nothing for my cause. Hopefully one of the other stores would be hiring, and I could work there, too. “Yup. I’m a sales lead.”
“But I thought you wanted to be a nurse.” She sighed. Right now my dreams went as far as staying warm and fed. Survival now, accomplishments later.
“What do you think?” Paige sashayed through the family room like it was a catwalk, dressed head to toe in a new outfit.
Her mom wrinkled her nose. “Those boots are totally impractical.” She stared at the heels that raised Paige a good half foot in the air. So distracted by the boots, she didn’t even notice that Paige had painted on the jeans tucked into them. Or her boobs hanging out of her shirt. “You’ll never make around campus in those.”
“Mom! They aren’t for class. They’re for clubbing!” Paige looked to me for confirmation before pulling me up off the couch. “We’re having girls’ night in.”
“You need to start being serious about your studies!” Her mom totally missed the point. “You too, Kyndra. I hate to see smart girls squander opportunities.” Her voice trailed off as I followed Paige up the stairs.
I flopped down on her bed, my arm landing over my eyes. I needed a minute.
“You need to start being serious about your studies,” Paige mocked, her heels thumping on the wood floor. “It’s just dumb Gen Ed crap. Monkeys could pass these classes, I swear.”
I opened my eyes and watched her pull her waist length blonde hair into a bun. She whipped her new sweater over her head and dropped it on the floor next to the boots. I could see the outline of her ribs. They stuck out just like mine. It was ridiculous, really. She puked to because she ate too much when I didn’t have enough to eat. After that, I’m not sure what she did.
“What the hell is that?” I pointed at the giant TV that covered most of the wall facing the bed.
“Oh, Dad put it up!” Paige went over and ran her finger along the edge. “From Santa.”
“That thing is so big, I feel like I need to give you ten bucks before we watch Breaking Dawn.”
“We have hours to go before making it to Breaking Dawn.” Paige climbed on the bed, already in her pjs. From the creases, they looked brand new.
“I don’t know.” I sat up and claimed a pillow. “Twilight Marathon or eighties chick flick marathon?”
“You make a compelling argument.” She tapped her finger against her chin. “Dirty Dancing.”
“Patrick Swayze. Hell to the yes.” I jumped off the bed to grab the DVD while Paige turned down the comforter. I’d never say no to my all-time favorite movie. “Can I borrow some pjs?”
“Sure, I actually got you a new pair.” Paige beamed. “You can just leave them here for when you stay.”
“It’s too much!” I protested, but making do with sleep clothes got old quick. “The e-reader, the pajamas. Paige, you can’t spend all this money on me.”
“It’s just money,” she insisted, with a goofy smile on her face. Charity was an odd thing, I learned that quickly in my couch surfing adventure. Humble was good. Unappreciative was not. I wriggled out of my work clothes and pulled on the jammies. New jammies were the best feeling in the world.
“But it’s not your money.” I pointed out. “Do your parents know you bought me an e-reader?”
Paige leaned in close. “It’s my money,” she whispered.
I jumped back. “Are you dealing drugs?” I whispered in response.
She laughed but looked toward the door. “I’ve been selling my eggs.”
“What?” I shrieked and Paige waved her hand and me to quiet down. “Isn’t that like, invasive?”
“Yeah, it sucks a little, but I get like six grand a pop, because I have desirable genes.” She put her wrist against her forehead dramatically and I resisted the urge to smack her. I wondered what my eggs would go for. Bargain babies. “College is expensive, Kyn. All my sorority sisters have bottomless bank accounts. You’d die if you saw the money they spent. And it’s a little embarrassing to have to ask Mom and Dad for an allowance. I’m in college, for crying out loud.”
“B
ut is it worth not knowing if there’s a bunch of random little Paiges running around so you can keep up with a bunch of girls who you’ll never talk to again in a couple of years? We’re talking peoples’ lives here.”
“I know what they do with eggs. But it’s not like giving a baby up for adoption. You don’t get it, Kyn. Being in a sorority is different. It’s about making connections, and alumni networking. These girls come from important families. And I’m Paige from Brighton.”
I didn’t want to get it. “There’s nothing wrong with being Paige from Brighton. If people can’t love you how you are, screw them.”
Paige looked incredibly sad. “That’s why I like spending time with you.”
Seven
I stared at the clock as Katie went over the closing figures for the fifth time. The drawer was off, and she couldn’t quite figure what didn’t add up.
Usually, we were out by ten when we closed. It was already ten thirty. The sales girl had to go, her mother came and picked her up. Two people had to close. Company policy.
Paige’s house was just too weird last night, and I told her I was all set for tonight. I was all set with being there, but I didn’t have a place to go. After a night of old movies and too much popcorn, Paige seemed anxious to break in those new boots on the party circuit.
“Who used drawer two?” Katie knew exactly who it was assigned to.
“I did.”
“It’s off by twenty dollars.”
I gulped and nodded. I didn’t know what she wanted me to say. She could hold me upside and shake me, she wasn’t going to find that money. I didn’t even have coffee money until we got paid tomorrow. I couldn’t believe this. Three days ago, she wanted me to come to her house for Christmas. Now she thought I was dumb enough to steal money out of the register.
“I must have given back the wrong change.” It wouldn’t surprise me at all. One of our closing girls had called out, and the rest of the staff conveniently didn’t answer their phones when we tried to call them in. We barely had time to make the calls, the lines wrapped around the register like people were still buying gifts. Instead they were bringing them back. Things bought in other states, no receipts, my brain hurt almost as much as my feet did.
“You know I have to write you up.” She sounded as tired as I felt.
“Okay.” Shit. With a write up on my record, I wouldn’t be able to apply for any full time positions for ninety days. Next week I was only scheduled for fifteen hours. This twenty dollars was going to cost me thousands.
With the shortage came extra paperwork, and extra phone calls to our district manager as well as the loss prevention department. LP already eyed us with suspicion, since our customers had sticky fingers. Corporate insisted it was the employees that had sticky fingers. Next time someone stashed bras underneath their kid in the stroller, I’d have to take a picture. I wished I was kidding, but I wasn’t. But then I’d just get in trouble for having my cell phone on the sales floor.
My heart pounded as I signed off on the shortage paperwork. I was admitting guilt for something I hadn’t done.
It was almost eleven by the time we pulled up on the gate to make sure it was locked. I let Katie look through my bag, painfully aware of the extra attention she gave as she moved around my things. I half-heartedly peeked in hers, not really seeing anything. No one was ever going to accuse her of stealing.
A cold mist hung in the air, meeting with the dirty snow on the sidewalk. I walked through the fog, not exactly sure where I was going. On a night like this, The Spirit House would already be at capacity. Homeless people could handle the cold, but they hated wet. After the twenty dollar debacle, my self-worth was already too deflated to face Matt.
Aidan. I wanted Aidan. Aidan was warm and safe. I wanted to sink into that leather couch and read about David the vampire. Of course, I could do that anywhere, thanks to my shiny new e-reader, but it wasn’t the same as holding a book in your hands.
I wanted to smell a book. That dusty paper smell mixed with the spiciness of man and leather. Looking around at the buildings, I realized I’d been walking toward Aidan’s house all along.
The problem with triple deckers was they pretty much all looked alike. I hadn’t thought ahead last time I was here to look for any distinctive markings that identified one of them as Aidan’s. Cursing as I landed ankle deep in a puddle I didn’t see as I looked up at the houses, I wondered if I’d even be able to find it.
I had to at least try. If it didn’t work out, to Matt’s house it would be.
“Kyndra!” A male voice boomed from a car as it slowed and pulled over, double parking along Mass Ave. My heart pounded at the surprise. The car blocked the right lane, drivers leaned on their horns as they swerved around the stopped car.
I didn’t recognize the car. Matt drove a giant SUV, all tricked out. I thought it was just a rolling advertisement for the fact he was a dealer, but he thought it was sophisticated. This was a compact car, and a nice one.
Should I respond or run? Approaching the passenger’s side window and feeling like a hooker, I pushed my wet hair out of my face and thought I was dreaming when I saw Aidan behind the wheel.
“Get in!” he insisted. “We’re going to get rear ended.”
Still dazed, I did as he said. “What are you doing?”
One side of his mouth lifted in a smile, but he didn’t take his eyes off the road as he merged back into traffic. “Out for a drive, looking for inspiration. For some reason, I come up with great stuff when I’m driving.”
“That’s cool.” I wriggled out of my mittens and hood. Aidan blasted the heat and it felt wonderful. I liked it when the car was so hot it felt like it could liquefy my eyeballs. Memere always hated that. “Coming up with anything good tonight?”
Now we were stopped at a red light, and he turned to look at me. “I think so.”
“You’ll have to tell me all about it. Or will you make me wait to read it?”
“I think you’d make a great editor.” He winked and then began driving again. “Do you have anywhere to stay tonight?”
Instantly I felt small. “No,” I muttered.
“You are always welcome to stay with me. You don’t have to ask, okay?”
“Okay.” My voice barely audible. I’d heard this so many times from my friends and even my aunt. But it always felt like such an imposition. Even if I stayed a day or two, I could never settle in enough to feel like I belonged there. One night knowing Aidan and his house didn’t feel like that at all.
This isn’t a romance novel, Kyndra. Get your head on straight. After tonight. It was too crappy out to say no.
“Do you have to be at work in the morning?” he asked.
“No. I have the next two days off.” I instantly regretted telling him that. Two days of uninterrupted torture, if he was in to that sort of thing. I kept waiting for the bottom to fall out of this fantasy.
“Want to take a ride? I was thinking of heading out to Newton and Chestnut Hill to see Christmas lights.”
“That sounds awesome, actually.” Maybe this was a romance novel after all.
Before heading out of the city, Aidan stopped so he could get tea and I could get hot cocoa. I loved looking at people’s holiday decorations. The lights just captured something magical and innocent about the day, something everyone could enjoy.
Aidan hummed along to his Country Christmas satellite radio station. I joined in, sort of. “Where did you stay last night?”
“With my friend Paige.” I sighed at the memory. “It was just weird. I almost hate seeing her now, because she reminds me of all these things I don’t have. And she doesn’t even appreciate it.”
“People who are handed everything in life don’t understand.” Aidan shook his head slightly. “You’re a fighter, though. When you get to where you need to be, you won’t take it for granted.”
He got it. I hoped I wasn’t reminding him of Marielle again. “It’s just so hard. Her mother was giving me such crap
about not being in school. How the hell am I supposed to go to school when I don’t even have a permanent address?”
“Use mine.” He didn’t meet my eyes, so he didn’t see my shock. “Look at this house!”
“It’s beautiful.” Everything was just outlined in white lights. Simple and elegant. “I can’t do that.”
“Can’t do what?” Aidan sounded amused. “I’d hate to pay that electricity bill. I was just going to ask you if you were a colored lights person, or a white lights person, but now I’m confused.”
“Color. And I can’t use your address.” That familiar anxiety started to rise.
“Why don’t we head back?” he said, sounding deflated. “And if a line item is the only thing that’s standing in the way of you getting what you want, why not?”
I didn’t understand what he meant right away. I hated myself for ruining our adventure. Then I realized he meant using his address, that it was just a lip service. To him. To me, it was a commitment.
“I understand this makes you feel uncomfortable, Kyndra,” Aidan added when I didn’t answer his question. “But you’re looking for a place that you belong. You’ve said it to me a dozen different ways since I met you. Stop shutting me out.”
Eight
“I need to borrow your pajamas again.”
“Follow me.” Aidan waved his hand toward the hallway. I didn’t know if he heard me or not. I wouldn’t ask again. The shadows swallowed him before he clicked the light at the end of the hallway. “I hope it’s all right. I cleaned it up, and I’m limited on short notice. With my schedule, I can only go to all night stores.”
He led me into an oddly shaped room, with floor to ceiling dark wood bookshelves loaded with even more books. How could one person even hope to read so many books in one lifetime? In a nook, under more shelves, was a freshly made bed with a fluffy white spread and aqua throw pillows. A pair of pink and black pajamas were folded at the foot of the bed, on top of a silver throw.
Silent Night: Vampire Holiday Romance (The Night Songs Collection Book 4) Page 4
