The Silent Touch of Shadows

by Christina Courtenay

  Melissa gritted her teeth. ‘You must have seen Roger.’

  ‘Who’s Roger? And why is he sneaking around the house with a sword? You can’t let him do that, Mum.’

  Melissa was silent for a long time, then said quietly, ‘He’s a ghost, dear, and I’ve seen him, too.’

  ‘A ghost?’ Jolie began to shake even more and Melissa gathered her close for another hug.

  ‘Don’t worry, sweetheart, I don’t think he’ll hurt you. It’s not you he’s looking for.’ She patted Jolie’s cheek soothingly. ‘I think he’s searching for his lost love, Sibell. I was hoping you wouldn’t find out, but I think I’d better tell you the whole story.’ She told Jolie everything she had found out so far.

  ‘But, Mum, he touched me. He patted my cheek, just like you do sometimes. Only it felt cold.’ Jolie shivered again and lifted her gaze to her mother’s. ‘What does it mean? What does he want?’

  ‘I’m not sure, but I’m definitely going to find out.’ Jolie seemed slightly reassured by the grim determination in Melissa’s voice. ‘As for why he came to see you, it was probably because he had a daughter, too. Perhaps he thought you were Meriel? At least, I hope that was the reason …’ She decided not to tell Jolie that Roger apparently haunted a red-haired girl of every generation. Had he lost faith in Melissa and was now trying his luck with Jolie instead? That didn’t bear thinking about. ‘Anyway,’ she continued brightly, ‘you’d better finish your homework now. There’s nothing to be frightened of, ghosts can’t hurt you, but come and sit at the kitchen table and I’ll keep you company.’

  ‘Okay. And can I sleep in your room tonight, please? I don’t want him sneaking up on me again.’

  Melissa nodded, relieved Jolie had suggested it herself. She hadn’t wanted to seem too panicky, but it would be good to have Jolie nearby during the night. ‘Good idea.’

  While Jolie went to fetch her homework, Melissa stayed on the stairs, deep in thought.

  ‘Ghosts can’t hurt you …’ Brave words to soothe a child, but were they true? She wished she knew. The air around her was chilly and Melissa looked up, half-expecting to see Roger materialise in front of her, but the hall remained empty.

  ‘I’m trying to help you, Roger, really I am, but don’t mess with my child. Do you hear me? Don’t ever touch my daughter again!’ She waited for a reply of some sort, a signal that he had understood, but nothing stirred except a slight draught that brushed her cheek.

  ‘I’ll take that as a yes,’ she whispered. She found that she was shaking, too, and leaned her head on her knees with a deep sigh, adding, ‘Damn you.’

  The flames of the bonfire licked the dry branches carefully at first, but soon they devoured them with greed as they leapt higher and the wood began to disintegrate. Sibell watched from the shadows outside the circle of excited faces, wanting to see but not be seen.

  The bonfire was lit every year on the eve of Beltane. Every cooking fire for miles around was extinguished and ritually rekindled the next day, celebrating the beginning of summer. The ceremony was an ancient one and no one knew for certain where it had originated. It was simply the tradition.

  A grubby urchin had put the note into her hand in the general mêlée after church the day before, and she hadn’t dared to read it until she was safe in her own chamber. ‘By the fire tomorrow.’ Only four words, but her heart had soared with joy.

  She shivered slightly now and huddled closer into her dark cloak, making sure the hood shadowed her face and hid any wayward tresses of her shining, red hair. It hadn’t been easy to escape from the house unseen, but with her skirts bunched around her waist she’d managed to climb to the ground via the tree Roger had used. Her father, who much preferred to drink himself into oblivion at home, had fallen asleep in the hall.

  Three of Sibell’s brothers, Henry, Simon and Edmund, were all part of the merry group around the fire. She shook her head in silent despair – really, someone should curb their excesses, she thought. Staggering around, singing bawdy ditties and grabbing anything in a skirt which came within grasp, they were highly conspicuous. Godwin stayed away from the others, but he was rowdy, nonetheless. Still, Sibell supposed she ought to be grateful to them this evening. They were of great help by diverting attention away from their sister.

  She shivered. There were unpredictable forces at work this night and one had to beware of the supernatural. It was Beltane after all, a night of danger, when the powers of witches, fairies and the dead were strong. The priests forbade such beliefs, but they still lingered among superstitious country folk. Sibell prayed that whatever forces were present would be on her side tonight.

  A large, warm hand appeared out of nowhere to envelop her smaller one and tug her gently into the shadows. She looked up, eyes shining in the moonlight, into the face of her beloved. He smiled, then pulled her further into the forest. There would be many couples in the bushes this night. If they wanted privacy, which they most definitely did, they had to find a spot as far away from the others as possible. Sibell followed him in silence, trusting him implicitly.

  She would follow him anywhere.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  ‘Mum! Mummy!’

  Melissa heard the impatient thump as Jolie threw her schoolbag down on the hall floor and ran upstairs, taking the steps two at a time.

  ‘Up here, sweetie,’ she called from the second floor, where she was sitting in a lovely, bright room she had recently converted into an office. Dorothy claimed the room had been empty for years and was happy for Melissa to redecorate it and install an internet connection. A dormer window showed far-reaching views of the surrounding countryside and the roof sloped on one side, giving the room a slightly lop-sided feeling, which added to its charm.

  A large table, which Dorothy had unearthed in the attic, served as a desk and had been placed to face the window. Melissa found it a relief to be able to spread out all her charts and notes without having to move everything at mealtimes.

  When Jolie arrived Melissa was on the floor on a faded old Chinese rug with a pile of notes spread out all around her. She looked up with a smile. ‘Hi there. Had a good day?’

  ‘Yes, fine thanks, but Mum, guess what? There’s going to be a bonfire on Friday night and we all have to dress up as witches and warlocks and bring something to drink and a sausage to grill, or maybe marshmallows.’ Jolie waved her hands around as she finally ran out of breath.

  Melissa held up a hand, laughing. ‘Whoa, hold on a minute. Calm down.’

  ‘Yes, but can I go? Please?’

  ‘I don’t see why not, but what’s this all in aid of?’

  ‘Beltane, the most magical night of the year when all the supernatural things come out. Miss Kavanagh told us all about it today.’

  ‘Supernatural?’ Melissa felt a niggle of discomfort at hearing that word. She tried not to show it. ‘Right, yes of course. I should have remembered. Okay, we’ll find you some black clothes and I’ll buy a witch’s hat. Shouldn’t be too difficult. Is Amy going?’

  ‘Yes, yes, we’re all going. And Mum, you can come, too. Grown-ups are invited, as long as you bring your own food.’

  ‘All right, but do I have to wear a costume?’ Melissa made a face. ‘I hate dressing up.’

  ‘Well, it would be more fun, you know. You have to enter into the spirit of it. The other kids’ parents will probably dress up.’

  Melissa sighed, resigned to her fate. ‘Oh, very well then. I’ll see what I can do.’

  Over-excited children were running round madly, shrieking with laughter and totally out of control by the time Melissa and Jolie arrived at the bonfire. Parents stood in groups, chatting among themselves, oblivious of their offspring. Just about everyone in sight was dressed in black. There was an array of witches’ hats of all descriptions and sizes and it was all Melissa could do to keep from giggling at the ludicrous sight.

  ‘Good grief,’ she muttered. ‘This really is a witches’ convention, isn’t it? Which coven do you think I s
hould join?’

  Jolie scanned the crowd anxiously, ignoring her mother’s comments. ‘How am I supposed to find Amy when everyone looks the same?’ she complained, craning her neck for a better view.

  ‘Let’s go over by the fire and I’m sure you’ll find each other soon.’ Melissa felt ridiculous in her outfit of long, black skirt, black sweater and a huge shawl with a trailing fringe. The plastic hat on her head was making her scalp itch and she longed to throw it into the flames, but of course she couldn’t let Jolie down. The girl was fairly bubbling over with excitement and her happiness was infectious.

  Everyone seemed to have congregated in groups round the fire to watch the leaping flames reaching up towards the night sky. It was a beautiful sight and Melissa found it mesmerising. As she stared into the molten centre, the sounds around her receded and she felt as if she were dreaming.

  ‘My love, I have missed you so …’ The voice made her jump and she looked around to see who would say such a thing to her, but there was no one there. ‘Have you missed me?’ This time she knew the voice she had heard was only audible inside her head. And she recognised it. The deep, rich chuckle she remembered from before followed the words and made her shiver violently, but she realised it was a tremor of anticipation rather than dread. She loved that voice, every rich nuance of it, and wanted to hear more.

  ‘Sweeting.’ Out of the corner of her eye she caught a slight movement in a nearby grove of trees, and turned to look more closely.

  ‘Roger,’ she whispered.

  He was standing in the shadows, a dark cloak tightly wrapped around him, but she could see his face clearly in the light from the fire. He smiled at her and beckoned for her to come nearer. Without thinking, she began to move slowly towards him, as if drawn by a magnet. Her gaze locked with his and she sucked in her breath as the full force of his love hit her. Her heart fluttered like a wild thing.

  ‘Melissa, where are you going?’ Jake’s voice, so similar to the one echoing inside her brain, startled her, and she turned to look at him in confusion.

  ‘Jake?’ She blinked and swivelled round to look from him to Roger, unconsciously comparing the two. ‘Jake, I … oh, no, wait!’ She reached out a hand towards Roger, but he smiled sadly and faded into the shadows. In an instant he was gone and Melissa felt bereft.

  ‘Who are you talking to?’ Jake peered over her shoulder, and Melissa realised that of course he hadn’t seen Roger. She tried to pull herself together.

  ‘Oh, I thought I saw someone I knew, but I was mistaken.’ She managed a slightly shaky smile and he smiled back, making her pulse rate increase again. She became aware that he had the same effect on her senses as Roger had and she suddenly understood how futile it was to fight against her feelings for this man. She swallowed hard.

  Amy and Jolie had thrown themselves into each other’s arms and chatted non-stop about their costumes and everyone else’s. Without even asking, they linked arms and disappeared into the crowd. Melissa wasn’t worried though, she knew Jolie wouldn’t go far and she’d be safe here among her new friends.

  ‘Nice outfit,’ Jake commented, raising one eyebrow a fraction as he took in her clothes. Melissa stared back.

  ‘Yes, well, you look very interesting yourself.’ He was covered from head to toe in some sort of black cloak, which wasn’t exactly the latest fashion. She looked him up and down critically, then burst out laughing as he opened the cloak with a dramatic flourish to reveal a crimson silk lining. At the same time he grinned widely to show a set of fluorescent-white Dracula teeth.

  ‘Beware, or I will carry you off to my sepulchre,’ he intoned in a deep, mock-scary voice, sending her into another fit of giggles.

  ‘Don’t you dare, or I’ll cast a spell on you,’ she threatened, disentangling a magic wand from under her shawl. She waved it at him in what she hoped was a menacing way and he retreated in pretended horror, before removing the teeth.

  ‘Very well, I give up. You win, witch. I can’t stand these things another second anyway, they were driving me mad.’ He laughed, then leaned close to her ear and whispered, ‘Besides, you have already bewitched me.’

  As she tried to peer up at him in the darkness, Melissa knew it was mutual. Whether it was Roger’s doing or not, Jake attracted her as no one else had ever done, and it was incredibly difficult to resist the magnetic pull between them. Staying away from him hadn’t helped one iota. On the contrary, she wanted him more than ever. When he took a step closer she couldn’t move, but stood rooted to the spot. They stared at each other.

  ‘Mum, where are my sausages?’

  ‘Yes, and mine?’ The two girls were back and broke the spell temporarily. Melissa shivered and drew the shawl around her more tightly. She held out the bag she’d brought.

  ‘Here, darling. Will you grill one for me too, please? I don’t want to go that close to the fire. I might set this fringe on fire.’

  ‘Okay, Mum.’

  ‘You too, Amy, please. I’ll keep Melissa company. But be careful, yes?’ Jake was looking composed, but his voice sounded deeper than normal. Melissa was shocked to find that she had wanted to make love with him right here, in the midst of all these people. With an effort she reined in her out-of-control emotions.

  ‘Melissa …’

  ‘Not now, Jake. Later. We’ll talk later.’ Once more her eyes pleaded for time and he nodded in agreement. She knew he’d been remarkably patient during the past few weeks and had done what she’d asked. He had given her time, left her alone to come to terms with the ghost business. But enough was enough. Melissa was grateful and she sent him a look which she hoped spoke volumes.

  ‘All right. Let’s go and find a drink,’ he said. She smiled at him in relief and rewarded him for his patience by not protesting as he twined his fingers with hers. It felt so right.

  The fire had been reduced to a smouldering heap of ashes by the time the two girls had finally had enough of the proceedings. Tired, but happy, they were ready to go home, but not separately.

  ‘Oh, please, can’t Amy spend the night? We have so much to talk about.’

  ‘What?’ Melissa was still distracted by her feelings for Jake and hadn’t been paying attention. Jolie repeated her request. ‘But you’ve just spent the last three hours in each other’s company. Surely you can wait until tomorrow? It’s very late, you know.’ It was a good try, but Jolie was nothing if not tenacious.

  ‘It’s Friday, Mum, and we don’t have to get up early tomorrow or anything.’

  Melissa hesitated and looked to Jake for assistance. The message she read in his eyes was no help at all, however, and only added to her indecision. In the end she gave in and led the two girls to her car. As they climbed in and busied themselves with the seatbelts, he pulled her out of earshot.

  ‘Come to my house when they’re asleep. Please, Melissa?’ he whispered, and his voice fanned the flames already igniting inside her at his touch.

  Melissa hesitated only for a fraction of a second before capitulating. Who was she kidding? She couldn’t withstand him any more than she could her daughter. She was too weak. Or the feelings he evoked were too strong. She didn’t really care which.

  ‘All right.’ She closed her eyes in surrender. ‘But it might take a while.’

  ‘I’ll be waiting. All night if I have to.’ With a quick goodbye to the girls, he was gone.

  ‘I shouldn’t be here, Jake.’ Melissa was standing in the little vestibule of his cottage, with the smell of cold, fresh night air lingering around her. Jake swiftly pulled the shawl from her shoulders and kissed her on the cheek. Her brain was running around in circles of indecision.

  ‘Stop worrying. Everything will be all right.’ He took her hand and pulled her along behind him.

  She closed her eyes and tried to let his voice soothe her. She was scared and nervous, but nothing could have kept her away from him this evening. Something or someone had compelled her to come. Perhaps Roger’s powers were extra strong on this magical night
. Or perhaps she was just in love with Jake. I really hope that’s what it is!

  In the living room the lights were dimmed and he had lit floating candles in a magnificent crystal bowl half-filled with water. The tiny flames flickered in the draught as they entered and the cut glass reflected prisms of light onto the walls. A bottle of wine and two glasses waited on a table and he led her to the sofa, pulling her down gently beside him. He took both her hands, rubbing her palms in a sensual rhythm with his thumbs, and looked her straight in the eyes.

  ‘Melissa, I have tried to keep away from you these last weeks, because I could see you needed more time. I hate to push you, but I can’t stand it any longer. I want to be with you, whatever the reason. I want you, more than I have ever wanted any other woman. Whether Roger is lurking somewhere and intends to share you with me, or wants to pretend that you’re his lost love, I will still be the one making love with you, if you let me. No one else. Do you believe me?’

  She nodded, unable to trust herself to speak. Emotion clogged her throat and tears were threatening, but she held them back.

  ‘Then let’s have a drink, relax and talk for a while, and I’ll leave it up to you whether you want to take this any further tonight.’

  Melissa accepted the glass of wine gratefully. If ever she’d needed something to bolster her courage, it was now. Because she knew with absolute certainty how this night would end and her wishes didn’t come into it. Not that she didn’t want to make love with Jake – she did, desperately – she just felt a lingering resentment that even if she’d wanted to hold back, Roger would somehow have persuaded her.

  Well, this is my decision, Roger, so stay out of it! The fierce thought helped and she became calmer. I am in charge, it’s my life.

  When, later on, Jake took her in his arms, she didn’t protest, but held him close in mute acceptance. Nothing existed except this feeling building between them and nothing could have stopped it from reaching its natural conclusion. She felt it was their destiny.