by Marie James
Garrett is one hundred percent dedicated to her. He has made a complete one-eighty turnaround in regards to relationships because of Alexa. He’s all in. I can see him wanting to marry her. He’s watching all of his friends getting married and sees their level of happiness; it’s not a far reach that he wants that with her.
“I honestly don’t know,” At least she’s being truthful. “I can’t see myself without him. Just the thought turns my stomach. I sure as fuck don’t want anyone else.”
“Then why the apprehension?” I bend over and place the heavy catalogue on the table in front of us.
“Why the rush?” She counters.
“Well he hasn’t asked yet so the time table is still growing. Honestly? It doesn’t seem rushed. It’s more like natural progression.” I tell her.
“He wants to buy me a fucking spa, Lor.” She pushes herself further back on the couch and slouches.
I can’t help the laugh that escapes my lips. “He wouldn’t be a Hale if he didn’t offer something exuberant like that.”
She nods in understanding. “I know he loves me and I love him more than I ever thought I could love another person aside from you girls and my grandmother.” She closes her eyes, gathering her thoughts.
I reach out and take her hand in mine.
“But all of it is scaring me. He may be getting ready to ask me to marry him. He told me he may want kids with me one day. I never wanted any of this.” I watch as a tear runs down her cheek. She’s really upset at all of this.
“Honey,” I say and scoot closer to her. “You never wanted any of this or you never allowed yourself to imagine you could have it?”
There is a huge difference in the two and I’m thinking it’s the latter that’s tearing her up so much. As if admitting that she wants the fairy tale with Garrett will bring her world crashing down. If she doesn’t say the words or allow her mind to dream and think of what a marriage and family with Garrett would be like then she won’t be destroyed when her inevitable history finally realizes she’s happy and shows up to destroy her.
She’s plagued by her past and it’s keeping her from being completely happy.
“I don’t think marriage and kids are in my future,” she answers sadly.
“What if that’s what Garrett is offering you? Do you want it?” I ask softly but I’m not just going to give up when she clearly either needs to just talk this out or a nudge in the direction I can tell her heart wants to take her.
She releases a small pitiful laugh. “Do I want to spend the rest of my life with the most magnificent man I ever had the pleasure of meeting? Of course I do. Garrett says I’m it for him and I feel exactly the same way. Kids? Well, I can’t even think of them right now.” She squeezes my hand slightly. “But do I want to puke when I picture myself pregnant with his child anymore? No. The trepidation on that subject has dulled a little.”
“Well until then, at least the sex is still hot, right?” She has a lot to think about and I think I’ve involved myself as much as she’ll allow.
She smiles. “The sex is amazing.” Her smile isn’t completely meeting her eyes.
“I feel a ‘but’ with that statement,” I grin at her.
“He is amazing, Lor. But lately he’s been so passionate and attentive. I mean, he’s always attentive. I guess I mean the aggressive edge we’ve always had has been absent recently.” She admits.
I remember the red striped skin on the back of her thighs a month or so ago while they were at our house for a pool party. Ian assured me that she must like that kind of thing and that Garrett would never do something like that to her if he wasn’t sure she wanted it.
“So he hasn’t spanked you recently,” I say with a mild edge of embarrassment.
She throws her head back and laughs and the red flush that comes over my face. I know she thinks I’m probably embarrassed about talking about spanking, when it is actually because I’m afraid she’ll realize that I, too, like it when Ian swats my ass on occasion.
Eventually her laugh dies down. “You can say that,” she agrees. “He’s more of a ‘pain until I squirm, pleasure until I scream’ type of guy, but the last month or so it’s more about passion and softness.” Lines knit her brow as she continues. “I think it’s because he’s getting ready to propose so he feels like that’s how he should act.”
“It’s sweet that he wants to be super loving before he asks you.” I mean it is pretty sweet.
“You don’t get it,” she says quietly. “I need both sides of him. I need the side of Garrett that ties me up and whips my ass with a riding crop.”
My eyes go wide and she laughs again.
“What if he thinks that’s how he has to be if we’re engaged? How he plans to be if we marry?” She shakes her head no. “I don’t want that. I don’t want the dynamic to change between us. It can’t change.” She emphasizes that last part and I know this scares her more than the actual marriage.
She’s afraid she’ll say yes and when everything is said and done she will be locked into a marriage with a different man than the one she fell in love with.
“Have you said anything to him about it?” I ask.
She shakes her head no. “I don’t want him to know I have suspicions about the marriage thing.”
“You can talk to him about your sex life without it going towards the discussion of marriage.”
“I’m scared if I mention it the conversation will end up with the question, and I’m not sure I know what my answer will be,” she explains. “I won’t say yes unless I mean it and I’m afraid we’ll start to crumble unless I give him the answer he wants.”
I nod my head because I’d feel exactly the same way. I wouldn’t agree to marry someone if I wasn’t sure that I wanted to. I’d never agree to something like that just because I was afraid of the fallout if I said no, or even not right now.
“Okay, then try to get him to respond the way you want him to,” I grin at her. “You’re creative. Give it some thought and come up with a sure fire way to make him spank your ass.”
“What do you suggest?” Her grin is devious.
“Go to his club while he’s there and dance and flirt with another man,” I offer.
She shakes her head no. “Remember the conversation about getting caught playing with myself? I don’t ever want him to question my faithfulness to him.”
I can understand that. She was pretty torn up that he automatically thought she would cheat on him.
“So take him to one of those kinky clubs and demand he spank your ass in front of a group of people,” I say off the cuff, not actually meaning it.
Her smile is from ear to ear. “You are a fucking genius. Lorali Bennett!”
***
The nursery came together perfectly and just in the nick of time. We had the furniture delivered all on the same day and Alexa and I worked all day yesterday getting it just perfect.
Josie is grinning from ear to ear as I open her front door to welcome her and Kaleb back from their week long honeymoon in Cabo. She looks wonderful, sun kissed and unapologetically happy. Kaleb has a look of apprehension on his face and I know he’s worried Josie will be upset that we’ve over stepped our boundaries by working on the nursery. We’ve left all of the personal touches and such for her to do herself, or with our help when she’s ready.
“Welcome home guys,” I say and hug Josie.
“What are you all doing here?” She asks looking around at our entire group.
“We just wanted to welcome you home. We’ve missed you,” I explain.
“Have a good time?” Ian asks shaking Kaleb’s hand and giving Josie a quick hug.
“It was wonderful, man. Thank you,” Kaleb answers.
“Don’t mention it,” Ian assures him. “Glad you guys had a good time.”
“We actually have a surprise for you,” Alexa cuts in and grabs Josie’s hand, tugging her gently and forcing her to walk down the hall.
Josie smiles politely and allows
herself to be pulled toward the nursery. We all follow behind them and stop as we reach the door to the nursery. This is the room Kaleb had told us she wanted to use for the baby and we have transitioned it into hopefully the perfect beginning to her dream nursery.
Alexa turns the door knob and pushes the door open dramatically then steps out of the way so Josie can take it all in.
She gasps and brings a hand to her neck as she shifts her eyes and looks at every corner of the room. “I love it,” she whispers as she steps further in and turns slowly in a full circle.
The joy is evident in her smile as she reaches for a yellow and gray pillow on the gliding rocker in one of the corners.
“I love the darker wall,” she admits pointing to the deep gray accent wall that the crib is on. She lovingly runs her hand over the edge of the crib. “The furniture is perfect. Kaleb, isn’t it wonderful?”
He grins and steps near her, every ounce of doubt wiped away at her reaction. I know my sister and I knew she’d be excited about us getting a jump on her furniture. She technically picked it out because we got the exact furniture from the picture she pinned most recently and wrote ‘this is perfect’ in the caption.
“We only got the furniture and a few accent pieces because we knew you’d want to personalize the rest yourself for the little guy,” Alexa tells her.
“Thank you guys,” Kaleb says wrapping his arms around his wife, keeping his hands protectively over his son. “You have definitely gone above and beyond with the nursery and the wedding. We’ve definitely been blessed.”
We all smile at him. They deserve all the happiness in the world with what they’ve been through.
“Well,” Ian begins. “It’s been way too long since we’ve all gotten together just the six of us. What does everyone think about getting together soon for dinner at our house?”
We all nod in agreement and promise to check schedules to see when they all match up. It seems all of our lives are absolutely perfect.
I never would have let the thought cross my mind had I known that thinking it was only inviting the worst possible demons in our lives. Demons that would destroy us and possibly alter our lives in a way that we’d never fully recover from.
Chapter 20
Ian
“Hey, guys. Come on in,” I tell Josie and Kaleb as I step aside and let them walk by.
“Are we late?” Kaleb asks.
“Nope,” I answer. “Alexa and Garrett just got here themselves.”
It’s been over a week since they got back from their honeymoon and the first time everyone’s schedule was clear to get together. Monday night is not the most ideal day of the week, but I know everyone’s excited to see each other.
I kiss Josie on the cheek and shake Kaleb’s hand as we make our way back to the others who are having drinks in the living room.
I head to the kitchen and grab Josie a cold glass of chocolate milk. Lorali has told me all about her cravings and the nausea she suffers with all day long. Chocolate milk seems to be safe so we made sure we had it in stock.
I hand the glass to her and she takes it graciously. “Kaleb, beer? Scotch?”
He holds his hands up. “I’m on call, man nothing for me. Thanks though.”
“That’s awesome, Josie,” I hear Lorali says to her sister. “Which one did you pick?”
“I went with the Montessori online school,” she answers and takes a long sip of her milk. “I liked their principals and learning style most. It will get me as close to what I had in the public school.”
Kaleb squeezes her hand in solidarity, showing her she made the right decision. It’s apparent that they struggled with this in some form or fashion.
“So you’ll be working from home then?” Alexa asks. “Won’t have to make any trips into the office?”
“All from home,” Josie says. “The home office for the company is in Utah. I even did my interview over Skype. They have no expectation of ever seeing me in person.”
“Man,” Garrett says. “If I could work from home every day, I’d never wear pants!”
We all laugh until Josie’s stomach makes a rude sound, reminding us all that we are here technically to eat dinner.
“Hungry?” I joke with Josie.
“Seems that way,” she answers.
“Well, let’s feed the pregnant lady.” Lorali says standing from the couch so we can all head into the dining room.
Lorali made chicken parmesan, Italian being her favorite food to make. We also had breadsticks and salad. Dinner was delicious and the conversation among the group was awesome. Loads of laughing and joking around and periodic innuendo because clearly we are all very sexual people.
“Did you see the highlight reel from last night’s game?” Garrett asks me.
I shake my head no. What I won’t say in mixed company is that Lorali offered to shave me last night and there was no way I was going to watch TV over having her hands on my sack.
“I didn’t but I know the Rockies got their asses handed to them.” I did see the score and just by that I have to assume the game was brutal.
“They did, but the Mariners were on fucking fire,” Garrett counters.
“We can head down and watch it if you want,” I say to the guys.
“Good,” Lorali cuts in. “I want to show the girls my dress. Kaleb, Garrett please keep my fiancé down stairs.”
The guys look confused. “Lorali won’t let me see the dress,” I explain.
“Don’t ruin it man,” Kaleb says with a huge smile then turns his attention to Josie. “There’s nothing better than seeing your bride in her dress for the first time on your wedding day.”
I look at Lorali and laugh at her smug face. “See? I told you. Listen to the man. He’s the only one who’s done it.”
My eyes dart to Garrett and she winces immediately at her faux pas.
“Shit, Garrett,” she says softly. “I wasn’t thinking.”
He tilts his head at her, like her being concerned over his prior wedding was ridiculous. He chuckles. “It’s fine, Lor. Jamie’s ass rode in the truck with me to the courthouse.” He looks over at Alexa who, for some reason, is studiously examining her fingernails. “My next one is the important one.”
No one responds but there’s no way to miss the immediate stiffness in Alexa’s spine at his declaration to the group.
“So,” Lorali says as she stands from the table. “You guys head down to the cave. We’ll be upstairs.”
“She keeps that dress under lock and key,” I tell the guys as we head out of the room.
“That’s strange,” Kaleb says.
I can’t help but laugh. “Not really. She’s caught me twice trying to get a peek at it.”
Kaleb laughs. “Seriously, man. It’s worth the wait.”
“Speaking of weddings,” I begin as I close the door of the basement behind us. “What the fuck was that shit upstairs, Garrett?”
He just shrugs, like he’s not going to eventually spill the beans. “Not like I’ll ever get the chance to ask her.” He settles into one of the leather recliners and tips his glass of scotch to his mouth. “I’ve made plans more than once that have been ruined.”
Kaleb’s phone goes off with a text notification and he pulls it from his pocket. He reads the text silently and frowns.
“Hey, guys. Sorry I have to cut this short. Duty calls.” He shakes both of our hands.
“Hope it’s nothing too serious,” Garrett says.
“Another day another dollar,” Kaleb explains. “Some business burned down and they found a shit ton of cocaine in the guy’s office.”
“Well, somebody’s night just went to shit,” I say.
“Hey,” he says turning around at the door. “I’ll be back to get Josie. Hopefully it won’t take that long.”
“Let the girls know you’re heading out,” I tell him. Last thing I need is Josie freaking out even for a minute wondering where he went.
“Where were we?” I ask as I grab a
nother beer from the mini-fridge. Garrett ignores me, postponing the conversation as much as he can. He hates ‘shop talk’ as he calls it. Says that Kaleb and I sound like a couple of women when we start talking about our girls.
I settle in the identical recliner beside him.
“You pretty much said you made plans to ask Alexa to marry you and they were… ruined?” I raise my eyebrows, encouraging him to speak.
“Pretty much,” is his non-answer.
“You’re thinking of marriage?” I can’t believe it. I would’ve bet one of my kidneys that Garrett, no matter how much he loved Alexa, would never go the marriage route again.
He grins at me and nods his head yes.
“Seriously?” I’m dumbfounded.
“Bought the ring and everything.” He offers.
“What made you change your mind? You always said never again?” I’m not toying with him. I’m seriously at a loss here.
“I never imagined I’d meet someone like her. She’s a game changer man.” This I can understand perfectly. Lorali was my game changer.
“I was already thinking about it. It’s been in my head for weeks, but then I saw how Kaleb and Josie looked at each other at the wedding.” He shakes his head like he’s clearing it of the image. “That’s what I want, man. I want that with Alexa.”
“You feel like that’s something Alexa wants?” I know she’s been just as ‘anti-commitment’ as Garrett has been in the past.
“I think so. I’ve been being real sweet to her. Doing my best to show her how much I love her.” He scrubs his hands roughly over his face. “I mean I haven’t spanked her ass in forever.”
I can’t help but laugh at the dynamic of their relationship. “So being sweet entails no spanking huh?”
He shrugs, not making any excuses as to how he handles things in his bedroom.
“So how have your plans been ruined?” I’ve gotten over the shock that he actually wants marriage.
“Let’s see,” he starts counting off on his fingers. “My bar manager has had some type of strep shit, so plans had to be cancelled so I could go work the bar in his place. Once, Alexa completely forgot about our dinner plans and she’s been having such a horrible time at work I didn’t push the issue. Johnny came back to work but he’s still not up to par. Hell, Ampere is closed tonight because he needed some time to rest after the busy ass weekend and the assistant bar manager had to go back home for a few days due to a death in the family. We had tonight scheduled with you guys and there was no way we were missing that. So I just posted online that we would be closed on Mondays now.”
