by Fiala, PJ
She had thought about Jeremiah for almost a year, dreamed about him, fantasized about him, wanted him, but she held back because of this stupid fear. If they made love tonight, she knew she would fall hard over that cliff. If he walked away after that, she would be devastated. Joci took a step back; this wasn’t a good idea. She should just go.
In one swift move, Jeremiah grabbed Joci and pulled her tight to him. His breathing was ragged and his heart was beating wildly. Seeing her this way broke his heart. He held her tight, stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head every so often. Oh, he loved the scent of her, her hair, her cologne, the lotion she used on her skin. She smelled like no one he knew. Soft, powdery with a hint of musk—it was imprinted on his brain.
“When I was younger, casual sex was all I wanted. No ties, no entanglements. But, you’ve been on my mind so much—I haven’t been with anyone. I’ve been waiting for you. It isn’t casual for me, either. I need you, I want you as well, but…God, Joci…”
Joci looked up at him. She wanted to see into his soul like he always seemed to do to her, to see if he was telling her the truth. They stared at each other for a long time, gauging each other, neither one knowing what to do now. Joci wanted to be with him so badly; she had for the past year. Had she been stupid to wait this long? She had no idea he had been waiting for her. Stunned wouldn’t even come close to what Joci was feeling about this revelation.
Jeremiah leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips. He licked her lips and when she didn’t open her mouth to allow him access, he nipped her lips.
“Open up for me, Joci. Let me in.”
She opened with an escaping sigh. Jeremiah caught that sigh in his mouth and groaned. He turned his head to fit his lips perfectly over hers, pulling her body tightly to his. His tongue dipped into her and slowly swirled around. A little mewling sound escaped Joci’s throat, and he nearly came from the sound of it.
Slowly, Joci slid her arms up Jeremiah’s chest to his shoulders as she slipped her arms around his neck. Her hand automatically found its way under his hair at the nape and grabbed hold of a handful of it. She had wanted to touch his hair to tug on it, feel it run through her fingers.
God, it was soft and felt so good in her hand. She fisted it and it tightened against his scalp. He groaned and thrust into Joci so she could feel how turned on he was. She felt his growing length as it pushed against her.
Joci dug her other hand into his hair and held on. His hands were suddenly everywhere on her. One hand was on her breast, massaging it. He pinched her nipple through her bra. At first, it hurt and she moaned, but instantly it turned to pleasure and shot right down to her lower belly and pooled around, landing in her core.
God, she needed relief, badly. She pulled her mouth away abruptly from Jeremiah’s mouth, and he instantly loathed the loss of her sweet lips against his.
* * * * *
He looked at her, her eyes half-lidded and sexy as fuck. She was ready for him. This was the moment, the one he had thought of all day. The time when he needed to get her out of here.with him. He needed to be gentle, but firm, without scaring her.
“Ok…God. Joci…gotta get control, or I’ll end up taking you right here with our kids just outside that door…I’ll make sure to file that away for later.” His smile widened.
His breathing was ragged; he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this turned on. Even his first time wasn’t this intense. He needed to do this right. Nothing was more important than getting this moment right.
“You’re shaking Joci. I don’t want you driving like this. I’m going to have the boys bring your bike in the garage and keep it here tonight. You can ride home with me.”
He had wanted to pick her up tonight and bring her with him, but when Gunnar asked her to ride with him tonight and have dinner, Jeremiah didn’t want to stand in the way.
Joci opened her mouth to protest but he shook his head no. “Don’t say anything. I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks. You’re mine tonight, do you understand? From this point on. You. Are. Mine.”
Chapter 7
Getting to Know You
Joci needed to tell Gunnar she was leaving with Jeremiah, so he wouldn’t worry. Jeremiah was on his phone talking to one of his guys about her bike. She was scared shitless, but also, having him tell her they were going to be together tonight was a major turn-on. She really hoped like hell she didn’t end up with her heart broken again. This would be a loss she didn’t think she would be able to recover from.
Joci took a deep breath as she pulled her phone out of her purse. She swiped her finger across Gunnar’s picture and tapped the dial icon.
“Hey, Mom, what’s up?”
“Gunnar, I’m going home with Jeremiah. I didn’t want you to worry. He’s having the guys bring my bike in the garage for the night.” She said with a quiver in her voice.
“Okay, thanks for letting me know. I’m glad you’re giving him a chance.”
“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Mom. He really is a great guy.”
She smiled, “Yes, you’ve said that…many times. Oh, please tell Sandi and Jackie so they don’t worry, okay?”
Joci looked up to see Jeremiah watching her and her breath caught.
* * * * *
As Jeremiah watched her talk to her son, his mind reeled. She really was a beautiful person, inside and out. He had learned so much about her over this past year. She was caring and loving and a great mom. She loved her friends and family, and she would do anything for those she cared about. All she asked in return was honesty and fidelity. She had been lied to during her past two relationships and cheated on. She had major trust issues that lingered with her.
Jeremiah wanted to give her a good life. He had thought about it a lot over this past year while he was waiting for the right time to make his move. She was the kind of woman he’d always wanted to be with. His past relationship, with Barbara, his boys’ mother, had been pure hell. Actually, it hadn’t really been a relationship; it was casual sex when either of them needed it, and she had gotten knocked up. She was one of those biker bitches, all the way. Crass, coarse, rough around the edges and too made up, too over the top, too everything. Thinking on it now, he couldn’t see how he was even remotely interested in her to begin with. She was nothing he wanted at all.
Jeremiah finished a text and walked over to Joci. “Everything ok?”
She put her phone back in her purse, “Yeah, it’s good. How about with you? Are you sure about…this? Me?”
Jeremiah nodded his head, “I’m very sure. How many times have I asked you out over these past few months? Did you think I asked you out because I didn’t want to go out with you?”
“No. I…it’s just, you could have any woman you wanted—except maybe Mrs. Wilkes.” Joci smirked. Getting more serious, she said, “I’m just…nervous, that’s all.”
Stepping closer, Jeremiah reached up and tucked a lock of hair behind Joci’s ear. Releasing it, he slid his hand to her nape and gently circled his fingers against her neck.
“Mrs. Wilkes is enamored with Gunnar. I’m enamored with you. Let’s go.”
Joci took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. Before she could answer, he said, “I just want to spend time with you and get to know you better. I want to share myself with you, and I want you to share yourself with me.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I can’t change on the drop of a dime. I’ve lived with this fear and these trust issues for so long; I don’t really know anything else.”
Jeremiah’s green eyes clashed with her gray ones. He wanted to change that for her, for them. He slid his hand to her cheek and rubbed his thumb where a tear had been not long before.
“I want you to come home with me to my house. Since you’ve eaten dinner already, I thought we could have a glass of wine. We’ll be able to sit and talk uninterrupted there.”
Joci took a deep breath and smiled, “Okay. I’m…
A glass of wine sounds great.”
Jeremiah took her hand in his. He felt a shudder run through her and watched her eyes. She never moved her gaze from his.
“I have my truck out back. Let’s go.”
They walked hand in hand through the store and out to the garage area of the shop. They went out a side door to Jeremiah’s truck, virtually unseen, even with all of those people milling about. Jeremiah opened the passenger door and motioned for Joci to get in. She looked at him with her head cocked to the side and he smiled at her.
“Too late to change your mind, Joci. You’ve let fear keep us apart for a long time. Time to live a little.”
Chapter 8
Home
Joci climbed up into his truck. Jeremiah walked around and got in. He took a long look at her. She peered at him as a smile spread across her face, and he winked. That one wink shot right to her private areas and made her wetter still. If that was even possible.
She was going home with Jeremiah. She could hardly help herself after he kissed her. Oh. My. God. She was going home with Jeremiah.
He started his truck and put it in gear. As he started driving away from the building, he put his right hand on Joci’s leg and gave her a little squeeze. Joci looked down at his large hand on her thigh. He had great hands. Big, strong hands and fingers. Her leg looked positively small under it. Her mind was reeling; she was going home to have sex with Jeremiah Sheppard.
After almost a year of thinking about this, dreaming about this, fantasizing about being with him, it was going to happen. It felt kind of dirty, the way they were driving away, knowing what they were going to do, like a booty call. Never in her life had Joci ever done anything like this.
“Hey, what are you thinking about?”
Joci looked up at Jeremiah and sighed.
“I feel like a…a tramp…leaving with you. I’ve never done anything like this before.”
Jeremiah shrugged his shoulders, “I’m sorry. I should have insisted that I swing by and pick you up so it felt more like a date. It isn’t dirty or clandestine. We’ve known each other for a long time. You’ve kept me at arm’s length, even though I knew you wanted more. You’re not a tramp.”
“But,” Jeremiah continued, “I want to see if we can forge a relationship. I’ve known that this past year you were scared, so I get that. A few months ago, when we started over, I wanted you to get to know me and know I’m good. I think you want a relationship with me, too. We don’t owe anyone an explanation—we’re adults.”
Joci sighed and looked out the window. He was right, of course. She did want more but was afraid of it. She was afraid of falling for Jeremiah and having him hurt her the way Keith and Derrick had. She wasn’t sure she could trust anyone again after that. Trusting Jeremiah was going to be difficult. She saw the way women looked at him, sighed when he walked in the room.
She knew for sure LuAnn would do anything in her power to get Jeremiah. Joci wasn’t sure she would be able to hold on to him with that temptation constantly in his path. LuAnn was trashy, but pretty and had a great body. She also had large breasts she liked to flaunt at everyone. Joci didn’t have large breasts, and she sure as hell didn’t flaunt the ones she had.
Jeremiah pulled into his driveway and then into his garage. He had a huge Rolling Thunder logo in the back of his garage, painted on the wall. He also had a big workbench and three hot bikes in his garage, Rolling Thunder bikes, of course. Joci looked at the bikes and snickered.
“Nice bikes!”
Jeremiah followed her gaze and smiled. “Thanks. I own a bike shop, you know. These are mine.”
He got out of the truck and walked around to the passenger side. He was smiling as he reached in and helped her down. “The yellow one is the first bike I ever designed. I keep her for nostalgia; I hardly ever ride her anymore.” He pulled Joci forward with their hands linked together. “Nowadays, there are better parts and components that make bikes more comfortable to ride. But she was my first love, and so I keep her.”
Walking to the orange bike, he lovingly caressed the handlebars as he said, “This is the first bike the boys helped me build and design. I keep her because of that. It was our first project together. We worked out here in the garage for days and nights, pulling it together when the boys were freshman in high school. That was about ten years ago or so now. Every once in a while, I hop on her and take her for a ride. The boys do as well. They love this bike. Eventually, I plan on finding a place at Rolling Thunder to put her up and keep her there as the beginning of the Rolling Thunder garage. It was during the build of this bike that we talked about opening a bike shop and building for other people.” Joci loved looking at him when he talked about his sons. His features became soft and his eyes sparkled with pride and love.
Moving around the orange bike to the black bike, he touched the seat and looked at Joci, “Of course, this is the bike I ride now. More comfortable, different frame than the other two bikes, different motor and exhaust, a whole new design I wanted to try out. I wanted to show customers that they can have a bagger, and still have it look cool. I love her. She’s fun to ride. Comfortable, stylish, classy. I get tons of compliments on her.”
Joci didn’t miss that he called his bikes her and she. Interesting, but not uncommon. Lots of people referred to their bikes as her and she.
He hung onto Joci’s hand and started walking to the door of his house. He opened the door and stood back to let Joci walk through first. When she walked in the house, she gasped. There were candles burning everywhere. In the kitchen, they covered the counters. She had a view of the living room and saw that they were everywhere as well.
Joci turned and looked at Jeremiah with a question on her face. Jeremiah looked at her and kissed her lightly on the lips.
“I’ve been telling my sister-in-law, Staci, about you, and that I wanted to bring you home tonight. I asked her what she thought would be special and romantic. I have to admit, Joci, I really don’t know a lot about romance—I’m just a guy. I trust Staci. She helped my mom and me raise the boys, and she’s been a fantastic sister to me.
“She’s married to my older brother, Dayton. She told me to fill the rooms with candles and have some chilled wine to offer you. She came over here a little while ago and lit the candles for us.” Turning toward the refrigerator, Jeremiah said, “I have white wine in the refrigerator and some cheese and sausage as well. Are you hungry? Would you like a glass of wine?”
Joci looked at Jeremiah with skepticism on her face.
“So you were sure I would come home with you tonight?” she said with her eyebrows raised.
Jeremiah smirked. “I haven’t been sure about anything with you, Joci, except that I wanted more from you, from us. I hoped like hell you would come home with me.”
He was still smiling when he said it. Jeremiah walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of wine, opened it, and poured two glasses.
“You didn’t answer my question? Are you hungry?”
Joci shook her head. No way she could eat now.
He handed Joci a glass, then picked up the other glass in one hand and Joci’s hand in the other. Then he walked her to the living room to sit on the sofa in front of the fireplace, which about twenty lit candles of different sizes and shapes. It was beautiful. Joci looked at the fireplace and was mesmerized by all the candle flames flickering and winking at her.
“It’s very beautiful. Thank you for going to all of the trouble.”
Joci looked at Jeremiah; he was watching her very intently. Her breath caught and held at the look on his face. God, he was breathtaking. In the candlelight, he was even more beautiful. She would never get enough of looking at this man.
She took a drink of her wine, “The wine is delicious. Did you pick it out?”
Jeremiah smiled at her. “Yes. Staci made me go to the wine store with her this morning and taste several different kinds to see which ones I liked. This particular one is Dayton’s favorite. Tell me abo
ut your life with your sister. Gunnar said you lived together while he was little.”
Joci smiled at the memories. “Yes, Jackie and I stayed in our parents’ house after they died. Jackie had just turned 18. We were able to keep the house. There wasn’t a lot of money, but enough that we could stay there and live. We both got jobs to buy food and stuff and not have to touch the little bit of money there was. We wanted that money to go to the house, repairs, taxes, utilities.
She continued in a low voice. “Jackie was able to finish college, and I started college. I was still in college when I got pregnant with Gunnar, but we were able to work our schedules out so that I didn’t have to hire a babysitter. Jackie loved Gunnar instantly. She was amazing with him. We would take him to the park and read to him and make sure he didn’t feel the stresses of not having a lot of money and not having a dad around. When Jackie met David, her husband, Gunnar was three months old. David immediately loved Gunnar, too. Jackie and David fell in love almost instantly and he was constantly around. He moved in with us after only about a month of them dating.”
“Where was Keith all this time?”
Joci grimaced. “Turns out, Keith didn’t want the responsibility of being a dad. We didn’t use protection because he said he hated it and there was no issue with me getting pregnant. He had it figured out. We never lived together. I was young, dumb, without parents, and maybe a little too adventurous. I can see things clearly now—long disappearances, late-night phone calls when we were together, a distance of sorts. After Gunnar was born, Keith really backed away and didn’t want the responsibility of a child. Thank God, Jackie was there to help me. She was great. I wouldn’t have been able to make it without her.”
