“Abby, stop it,” he barked. Her head jerked up, her deep blue eyes wide as those of a deer in headlights. He’d scared her, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He scooped her up and carried her back to bed. “How do I make you understand you’re safe here? Stop making yourself so damn uncomfortable because you’re afraid to disturb anyone. Whatever happened to you, don’t be scared here.” He deposited her back on the bed and helped her settle in.
“Thank you, Captain” was all she said, but he could feel her stiffen even though he was no longer touching her.
“I’ll be back later to see how you’re doing.” He didn’t know why he did it when he reached down and smoothed back the stray wisps of hair that dangled in her face. “Remember what I said, Abby: You’re safe here. If you’re hungry, you say something. If you’re scared, tell me. If you’re hurting, you have to speak up. No one is going to hurt you here. I don’t know how to make you believe it.”
She was staring at him now, but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what was going on in her head. He let out a sigh because there was nothing more he could do here. His hand was on the door, and he was about to yank it open when she said, “Captain, could you do me a favor?” He turned around and faced her and was nearly undone by her eyes, swimming with a sheen of tears.
“Could you keep telling me I’m safe? I think if I hear you tell me over and over, I’ll start to believe it. I think I will.”
The way she said it clogged Eric’s throat to the point that he didn’t think he could speak, so he looked up at the pipes that made up the ceiling until he knew his voice wouldn’t crack. “I will, Abby, until you believe it.” Then he left, allowing the guard posted outside the door to shut it behind him.
Chapter Five
Larry Saunders made a point of avoiding conflict, but when facing a problem that could escalate into something bigger, he firmly believed in sitting down face to face to work it out. He was a diplomat, and he loved playing the role of peacemaker, searching for the good that existed in everyone. He truly believed that sometimes, with some people, he just had to dig deep to find it.
After asking several crewmen about Gail Carruthers’ whereabouts, he was told to try the mess. Several of the enlisted moved over to let him pass. It never failed to amaze him that the majority of the personnel aboard looked like kids. This should not have been surprising, as so many of them were under twenty. He wondered about the captain and the officers dealing with these kids. At times, it was so much like high school.
Walking into the mess, he took a minute of searching over the heads of all the crew crowding the cafeteria-style seating before he spied Gail, seated with the other female enlisted. As he approached, he noticed their heads gathered close together and the serious conversation they were engaged in. One of the girls noticed him, and her eyes widened. She whispered something to the rest, and they all turned when he approached. Six women, all junior crewmembers whom he didn’t recognize, gathered their trays when he stopped at the table. They then stood promptly and acknowledged him, saying, “Lieutenant.” All except Gail.
“Carry on,” he said.
“Yes, sir,” each of them replied, all except Gail, who sat there as if she carried a dark cloud over her head. He didn’t miss her oversight. It was a deliberate slap, obviously, and if this was what she had done with the captain, she should have been thanking him for not having her court marshaled. He took the seat across from her, and she gripped her tray and started to get up.
“Sit down; we need to have a chat,” he said, holding his narrow hand up as he waved her back down. “And you will address me as your commanding officer, sailor.”
Larry had a sudden feeling that she was going to ignore him. Then he saw her face tighten, and she slowly returned to her seat. When she finally looked over at him, he was a little taken back by the hostility blazing in those dull brown eyes.
“Tell me, please, what that was all about,” he said, squinting in fury as he tilted his head towards the women hurrying to leave the mess hall.
The abrupt turn of her head scattered the unruly curls in her hair as she watched the retreating women with a defiant tilt in her chin. “Nothing, sir. I was just having lunch with my fellow crew members.”
“Bullshit. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but when you enlist in the Navy, there are rules you follow, and I am not about to let some chit start an upheaval on this ship. Do I make myself clear?”
She flushed and looked away, and Larry was finding himself leaning towards the captain’s way of thinking. Right now, he was finding it downright impossible to see anything likeable about this girl. He wondered too for a second whether he could get away with giving her a good swift kick in the backside. Sometimes, someone with that kind of arrogant chip on the shoulder could only understand one thing.
“I want to know right now what happened with the captain in sickbay,” Larry said.
A coolness manifested from Gail as she tensed, sitting up straight as if someone had pulled her by the scruff of the neck. She appeared to clamp her mouth shut, as if unwilling to part with one bit of her story.
“At ease, Carruthers. Please, let’s speak freely.”
She raised her bushy eyebrows and then frowned. “All right, sir. The captain obviously doesn’t like me, and he makes no bones about it. I was just doing my job when he walked in and started questioning me about the patient. I told him how she was doing, and then, for no reason at all, he got mad and told me to get out. I did nothing wrong, sir. He makes a habit of treating us women on this ship as if we’re nothing.” Tears appeared in her dull brown eyes as her chin began to wobble.
Resisting the urge to put her on report, he said, “You’ve had other problems on this ship. I understand when you were on the Vincent, as well, there was some conflict between you and your commanding officer.”
“He didn’t like me, sir, is all.”
Larry was trying to remember the details of why she requested the transfer. She may have trouble with men, period. Perhaps it was time to move her again. “Are you looking for another transfer, Carruthers? Is that what this is about?” He slipped out of the seat and watched her, frowning, as she refused to look at him or rise and acknowledge his leaving. “Stand up, Carruthers.”
This time, she did.
“You are very well aware that when an officer enters, you are to acknowledge. Are you not, Carruthers?”
“Yes, sir, I understand.”
“Good. See to it you remember in the future, as this is the only warning you’ll get from me. Your attitude needs to change. You sound like a whiny high school kid with a chip on her shoulder, and you better figure out right quick where you are, because this is the last time we’re going to have this kind of chat. Another officer is not going to be as forgiving as I am.” Larry didn’t wait for her response. He left, running his hand over the coarse hair at the side of his head as he swiftly stepped out into the passageway, realizing that before he returned to the Vincent, he’d need to see that Carruthers was posted elsewhere, anywhere but on this ship.
Chapter Six
The rest of the day, Eric continued putting out one fire after another. He hadn’t finished his reports, and because he hadn’t followed up with the chief concerning the mess, the refrigeration system had broken down, and the meat, namely the beef for dinner, had gone bad. Most couldn’t be salvaged. On a typical day, this would have been handled, but the problem was that all this had happened during Abby’s dramatic arrival, so dinner was changed to something resembling rations, and of course everyone on board complained.
By the time the captain walked through the door of sickbay later that same evening, the first thing he was aware of was Abby, who refused to look at him or have anything to do with him. It wasn’t so much that she was pouting. It was as though she had resigned herself to some unknown fate. This wasn’t the same young woman he’d left earlier, with whom he’d felt a glimmer of connection. This woman was doing her damnedest to b
lend into the wall.
The doctor was standing at the counter, shuffling papers and scribbling notes before popping the pen back in his pocket. He glanced at Eric and then over at Abby when Eric approached. “Ah, yeah. Well, I was going to ask you what happened when you showed up, as she’s been like this since I got back.”
The captain stared over at Abby, who lay on her side in bed, her chin pulled down, her hand resting on the blanket. She didn’t glance up at all. “Did someone come in here and say something to her, Doc, before you got back?”
“No. I asked the guard at the door when I couldn’t get more of a ‘Yes, sir’ and ‘No, sir’ out of her. I presumed something happened during your talk with her, after what she’s been through. This is something resembling shellshock. Listen, if you want to talk to her, I need to go check on some supplies.”
As Eric, approached the bed, Abby never looked up, but he could tell just by watching her that she was wound tighter than a top. He was sure she’d jump if he touched her. Had he missed something? “Hey, Abby. How are you feeling?”
“Fine, sir.” She kept her head lowered.
For the life of him, Eric couldn’t figure out why she was two steps back from where he’d left her. Had he, in fact, triggered something? Eric grabbed a chair and sat down beside the bed. He was tall, but with the height of the bed, he could look into her face. What he saw bothered him like nothing before. Her face was blank, showing nothing. The only thing that gave away the fact that something was wrong and that she was upset, scared, was how tightly she gripped the blanket over her legs.
Eric didn’t try and reach out to her because he knew she’d most likely recoil from his touch. “You know, Abby, I told you that you were safe here. I don’t know how to make you believe it. Did something happen?”
Her eyes glassed over, and he saw how tightly she held her face, fighting against shedding one tear. She opened her mouth and let out a sigh, but her breath caught, betraying her.
“Abby, can you look at me, please?” He said it in a way that was kind, but he also needed her to do it. Her eyes flickered up to his and lowered, and she looked at him again as if she had to convince herself it was okay. Eric turned his head and softened his gaze. “It’s okay, Abby. Tell me what this is. You’re upset. Is it from something that happened to you from our talk?”
“I’m safe, you say. But how is this any different? I’m still a prisoner.”
He didn’t know how to address that with her. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out how she’d ever jump to that conclusion. Frowning, he said, “I have no idea where you’d ever get an idea you were a prisoner, Abby. We’re the US Navy. You’re under our protection. I’ll personally see that you get home.”
This time, she frowned, furrowing her brows before glancing at the door and right back to him. “Why is there a guard at the door, then, if I’m not a prisoner?”
He really wanted to chuckle, and he did for a second under his breath before he shook his head and glanced at the door. “No, Abby, I guess I can see why you’d come to that conclusion, but I posted that guard there to keep everyone out and away from you. Your dramatic arrival caused quite a stir with the crew. I have no doubt that without that guard there, you’d have just about every sailor sneaking in to catch a glimpse of you and talk to you.”
Her face flushed in embarrassment. “Oh.”
“You know, Abby, it actually never even occurred to me that you would interpret it that way, and for the distress it obviously caused you, I am truly sorry.”
She pressed her white hand to her bruised cheek to hide her deep blush, but it wasn’t working. “I’m sorry for jumping to that conclusion. But how was I to know? You said nothing to me.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, he saw her backpedal as if she shouldn’t have said what she did.
He really wanted to say that a girl show some backbone, that she shouldn’t dare pull back, but he was also the captain. “Abby, this is my ship. I am the captain, and I don’t discuss with anyone a decision I make. I’m never questioned by my crew.”
“But I’m not a member of your crew, so how does that apply to me?”
She actually stumped him, and he looked at her, hoping she was finally coming out of her shell. “Maybe so, but you are under my protection, so the same goes for you. But just so there are no more misunderstandings, ask me. When I decide something on this ship, however, you won’t be privy to it.”
Her face softened a bit, and for a second, Eric wanted to reach out and touch her. But he couldn’t do that, not to her, so he slid back his chair and stood up, squeezing his fists so he wouldn’t be tempted to do something stupid. There was something that passed between them, when she looked up at him again, and for a moment he couldn’t breathe, so he said not a word as he gave her a curt nod and crossed to the door, yanking it open. He stood in the doorway, watching her watching him with something in her eyes that, from any other woman, would have had him running for the hills.
Chapter Seven
The enlisted female bunkroom Gail Carruthers occupied contained eighteen bunks, all filled on this deployment. She lingered in the closed confinement of her rack as four of the women who shared the bunkroom with her gathered by the TV to watch a reality show they were able to pick up.
“He really pisses me off,” Gail said. “He needs to have someone knock him off his high horse. I don’t know who he thinks he is, but he treated me that way because I’m a woman.”
The four women relaxing around the television stilled, then looked at each other in a wary sort of way, as if there were eyes and ears listening everywhere.
Petty Officer Jennifer Hampton was a pretty girl from Ohio with long dark hair, slender and curvy. She moved closer to Gail. “Would you keep your voice down?” She leaned against the bunk and reached out, swatting Gail’s leg. “I do agree with you, as most of us girls do on this ship. He’s a bastard when it comes to women, but you need to watch your step, girl. He’s the captain, and you need to be careful of what comes out of your mouth.”
Gail shrugged and rolled off the rack. “Not if we go together and file a discrimination suit against him.”
The silence was so sharp that if someone was listening, they’d most likely wonder what the hell was going on in there.
“You’re crazy, girl. What’s wrong with you, coming up with something stupid like that?” Petty Officer Mary-Jo Johnson murmured as she pushed herself out of a chair.
“No, really, please listen. I heard that there is a lady commander out there who is next in line to command a ship like this one. If we can get rid of this asshole, then we don’t have to worry about being passed over for promotion just because we’re the wrong sex.”
Two of the other enlisted women shared a glance and appeared to be considering the idea.
“We all know he’s made his position clear regarding women. He has never hesitated to spell it out. You all know I’m right. He believes we were born to stay at home and wait for our husbands, holding their slippers in our hands, bearing their kids, wiping snotty noses and waiting hand and foot on them like bloody slaves. It’s like something out of the dark ages!” Gail gestured with her hands as if leading this group of women. But dark-haired Mary-Jo continued to frown and stand as if on guard, arms crossed as if just waiting to take Gail down.
The three other women, who ranged from blond and pretty to tall, lanky, and dark, shared a look that would have caused some worry to anyone watching. Gail had to suppress a smile, wanting to high-five herself for the quick thinking. The captain’s one mistake was her advantage: He had voiced objections to the presence of women in the Navy, but even worse was his damming statement that they lowered the integrity of the service.
She jumped when Mary-Jo stepped in front of her, nose to nose with a hard take-no-shit look, as if she was considering pounding the crap out of her. “Okay, girl, you got a point about the captain. He does have a problem with us women, and he has said some stuff that has right pissed me off, too.
But you don’t forget he’s the captain, and if he says jump, we ask how high. So I wonder whatcha think you’re gonna do about it?”
Swallowing, Gail cringed inside, wanting nothing more than to take a step back, but she was trapped with her back to the bunk as she stared into eyes so dark she wondered if the woman had ever had a happy thought. She stifled the urge to cower, her heart pounding, very aware of Mary-Jo’s strength and the fact that the woman would go down fighting to the death before ever backing down. She didn’t run and hide from anyone. Gail always could think herself out of a situation, and she counted on that, praying it wouldn’t fail her now with this woman who scared the crap out of her and was breathing down her neck. She had to find a way to win her over. Mary-Jo was the one person on this ship who was impossible to read, and Gail definitely did not ever want to piss her off.
“Ladies, I got a plan, and I’ll be counting on your help. You know we have to stick together. Women in the Navy have to remain united or we’ll never get ahead, and you know we’ll continue to get passed over for promotion here under Captain Hamilton’s command,” Gail said.
Mary-Jo held up both hands, and Gail wondered if she was going to grab her and shake her, but instead she took a step back and jabbed a finger in Gail’s face. “You can just stop right there, girl. I’m not interested in any dirty business or getting involved in any scheme of yours to hurt the captain. You can count me out. I had enough of these games with my sister back home. I’m certainly not gonna stoop to doin’ somethin’ that’s gonna start trouble, especially when it’s not based on any fact.” Mary-Jo stared with a hard look at each one of the women in the room—a look that had Gail trembling under her skin. Then she almost growled at Gail before shaking her head and turning without another word and walking into the head.
Gail was breathing hard, pressed against the bunk as she listed to the squeak of the faucet and the water spilling through the pipes. Then the faucet squeaked off. A moment later, Mary-Jo returned to the bunkroom. She didn’t look any calmer.
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