Jason slid off the stool where he’d been perched and set to work.
The candles he lit cast a warm, romantic flicker over the adjoining dining room. Lilly wished she could take pictures—but evidence of this night would not be wise. She heaped a serving bowl with steaming pasta, poured meat sauce over it, piled the garlic bread on a serving tray, and carried it all to the dining room. She sat in the chair Jason held out for her and reached for her napkin to put in her lap.
Right next to her napkin stood a wine glass full of a bubbly pink liquid. “Jason? Is this wine? Where’d you get it?”
“Oh, I have more than a few tricks up my sleeve.” Jason winked. “We can’t have a romantic night like this without champagne.”
“You know what? I think I’ll pass. I hope you don’t mind. But I’ve never had a drop of alcohol, and I’m not going to start tonight.” Not when I need to keep my head on straight.
“Okay, well how about just a sip for a toast and then I’ll get you a Coke.” He held up his glass.
A toast couldn’t hurt anything. “Okay.” Lilly held up her glass and waited.
“To the love of my life and our night together.” He clinked her glass and took a drink.
Lilly lifted the glass to her lips and sipped. The bubbles tickled her nose, but it tasted sweeter than she expected—kind of like a fruity 7UP. One sip, no more. Lilly put the glass down and slid it as far away as she could reach.
The clinking of the silverware was the only noise in the room for a little while. Neither of them knew what to say. Jason sipped on his champagne—he even got Lilly to take a few more sips. When they were finished eating,
Lilly headed out of the dining room with a load of dishes, but Jason stopped her. He took the plates from her, grabbed both of her hands, and pulled her around so she faced him. “Lilly, I need to ask you something. Am I pushing you?”
Lilly sat down beside him. “I don’t know. This is all so much to take in. I mean, at sixteen, I know most of our friends have had sex already. I know you, at seventeen, might have—but I hope not.” She held up her hand when he opened his mouth. “I don’t want to know—not now.” She rolled her napkin between her fingers. “But I haven’t—not even close—and I truly plan to wait until marriage. Not that I ever planned to get married—until you … Oh, I don’t know, Jase. I’m confused.” Lilly felt her eyes welling up with tears.
“Okay, listen. I’m really sorry. I’ll back off. I don’t want to push you. Let’s get things cleaned up and go watch a movie. We’ll just hold hands. I won’t kiss you again tonight. If you want to kiss me, you can—anytime. Fair?” He waited expectantly.
Phew. “That’s fair. But if I do kiss you and then want to stop …?”
“We stop. And I’ll sleep wherever you want me to. Okay?”
“Okay. I feel so much better now.” They cleared the table and cleaned up the kitchen—laughing, joking, teasing. Lilly felt so comfortable she even swigged down the rest of her champagne and giggled at the feel of the sparkly bubbles on her upper lip.
A few minutes later, after changing into her comfy sweats, Lilly went to the family room where Jason had a fire roaring in the fireplace and a movie ready to play on the big-screen television. Boy, he moved fast.
He patted the seat next to him, so Lilly sat down close and he covered them both with a fleece blanket. A bowl of popcorn sat in front of them, and to each side of the bowl stood a freshly filled glass of champagne.
Lilly chuckled and shook her head. She could no longer say she’d never had any alcohol before. Her first taste had already happened, and she didn’t have to drive until morning—so why not? She lifted her glass and tipped it toward Jason, then took a teeny sip. She settled back in his arms, and he started the movie.
True to his word, Jason didn’t touch her in any way except for holding her hand. With the pressure off, Lilly felt like she could really relax. She barely paid attention to the movie as she thought back over her relationship with Jason. He’d been a part of her life forever. She’d loved him since they were little. He suffered with her when her dad left them. Then suffered equally when her mom married Stan. Jason showed her how a woman should be treated. He was so gorgeous, and his kisses … oh, his kisses.
Hmm. Could she steal a kiss now and not have it unleash a firestorm she couldn’t put out? She snuck a quick glance at Jason.
He smiled down at her.
Losing her nerve, Lilly leaned forward and took a sip of her drink.
Do it, Lilly. She raised her eyes to Jason and then pulled him toward her in a kiss. This time she didn’t let go. It went on for minutes until finally, she pulled away, breathless.
“I need some air.” Lilly headed for the bathroom.
“Me, too.”
Midnight came and went. One o’clock chimed on the clock. Finally, out of movies, conversation, and champagne, she had to make a decision.
“Well, Lilly, what’s it going to be? You sleeping with me, or are you banishing me to the couch?” Jason’s voice teased but also held an edge—a hint of a challenge.
Lilly knew what would happen, though. She knew that if they got into that bed and cuddled up, one thing would lead to another and everything would change. She knew the alcohol, the sleepy, heady feeling she had, the way she felt about Jason, and the intimacy of being in the bed together would be too much for her. She should say no. She should sleep on the couch—or let him.
But she didn’t want to do that. She wanted to sleep with Jason in the bed. That was what she came over here for, right? To be a grown-up? Jason was her love, her hero. But wasn’t God her ultimate hero? Memories of how she used to feel about God flooded her mind and tried to drown out her thoughts of Jason.
No! She pushed those thoughts away. She didn’t want that right now. Or did she? What if she told Jason no and then he thought she was too immature for him? What if he dumped her? But if he dumped her, then she didn’t want him anyway, did she?
Yes, I do.
What to do?
IT’S DECISION TIME
The time has come to make a decision. Think long and hard about what you would do if you were in Lilly’s situation. It’s easy to assume you’d make the right choice. But are you sure you’d risk losing your boyfriend, especially one you thought you loved and might marry one day? Are you sure you could withstand your own temptations and desires?
Once you make your decision, turn to the corresponding page to see how it turns out for Lilly—and for you.
Turn to page 304 if Lilly chooses to say no to Jason.
Turn to page 337 if Lilly decides to give in to Jason’s desires—and her own.
The next three chapters tell the story of what happened to Lilly when she rejected Jason’s advances.
Chapter 10
JUST SAY NO
What was she thinking? Reality washed over Lilly like a bucket of ice water poured on her head. Mouth hanging open, she stared at Jason—shocked at what she’d considered doing. But how could she tell him? “Jason, I … I …” Lord, give me the strength to do what’s right. “I can’t. This is all wrong.”
“What’s all wrong?” Jason stood with his arms crossed on his chest.
Lilly gestured around the room and at the two of them. “This. Us being here like this. That.” She pointed at the bedroom. Clarity rushed at Lilly. What if she had …? She shook her head to clear her thoughts, squared her shoulders, and faced Jason. “I’m going home.”
Jason stared at her.
Lilly held his stare without blinking.
“Now? You’re going home now?” Jason peeked at his watch and then laughed. “No way you’re driving. First of all, you’ve had a few drinks, and you can’t take a chance like that. Second, if you think you can leave and then we’ll be fine like nothing ever happened …”
“Never mind. You’re right. I forgot about the drinks. Of course I’m not going to drive.” Lilly went to the kitchen. She could hear Jason’s footsteps right behind her.
“Well good. At least you’re being sensible.” Jason put his hand on her shoulder. She shuddered at the smell of his musky cologne—a scent that used to make her swoon.
Lilly shrugged his hand off while she pressed and held the speed dial number for her home phone. She lifted her cell phone to her ear and looked out the window while she waited for someone to answer.
“Wait. What are you doing?” Jason tried to grab the phone. “Who are you calling?”
She held up her hand to quiet him. “Stan? Could someone come pick me up?”
“Are you okay?” Stan actually sounded concerned.
“Physically, I’m fine. But I’m not going to be fine after you guys find out what’s been going on.” Lilly sighed heavily. Had it been a mistake to call? She turned toward Jason only to find him glaring at her. Nope. Calling home was not the mistake.
“Okay. I’ll be right there. Your mom isn’t feeling well tonight, so I’m going to let her sleep.”
“Thanks, Stan. Only”—Lilly hesitated; the moment of truth—”you’re going to need to come get me from Jason’s house, not the church.”
Lilly gripped the phone during a several-second pause, then heard a heavy sigh from the other end of the phone line.
“Okay. I can see there’s going to be a discussion about things. So I’ll wait until we get you home where you belong before I ask my questions. Give me five minutes.” Stan disconnected the call.
Shivering, Lilly slipped her jacket on and pocketed her phone. Jason eyed her like a sideshow knife thrower. Feeling exposed under his gaze, she zipped her coat all the way to her chin. What could she say to make things better? “Jason, I—”
“No. Don’t talk to me. There’s nothing you could say that I want to hear. You’re just a baby, and it’s good you’re going home to Mommy and Daddy.” He stormed off to his room and slammed the door. The lock clicked.
Who’s the baby?
Lilly gritted her teeth and fought the urge to pound on the door and defend herself. What would be the use? Even through her anger, she couldn’t stop the tears leaving streaks down her cheeks. Why was she even crying? She knew why. Lost dreams. The dose of reality. The trouble she faced. Sadness over what she thought might be and now never would. All of the above and more. She gathered her belongings and went to the front door to wait for Stan.
Moments later, headlights appeared in the foyer window. Deep breath. Everything would be okay. Anything would be better than how she felt at that moment. She pulled the door open and bent for her things but jumped back when she found Stan already on the porch with smoke billowing from his ears. His face was enflamed and his nostrils flared. Uh-oh.
“I’ve got this.” Lilly tried to step past him with her things. He wouldn’t hit her, would he?
“Go ahead and wait in the car if you want to. I have a few words to say to Jason.” Stan stormed into the house.
Oh no! Lilly ran to keep up.
A bewildered-looking Jason stood in the hallway—must have thought they’d left. He shrank against the wall when he saw Stan. “You c–c–can’t be in here.” He sidestepped toward his bedroom.
Coward.
“I’m not going to touch you, boy. But you are going to listen to me, whether you like it or not.” Stan’s hand snaked past Jason and gripped the door handle.
“Y–yes, sir.” The defiant tilt to Jason’s chin appeared confident at first glance, but his shaking hands and eyes glistening with tears gave him away.
Nice try.
“I have to tell you both that I’m so disappointed in you. No”—Stan rubbed his chin—”with you“—he pointed at Lilly—”I’m disappointed. But you?” He jerked his thumb at Jason. “You disgust me. You have an innocent young girl here. You know she’s had trouble at home. You capitalize on that and position yourself as some kind of savior and then convince her to do things she shouldn’t do.” He turned to Lilly. “I’m going to let your mom talk to you about what happened here. But I’mhoping the fact that you called me means it didn’t get too far.”
“No. It didn’t.” Depended what he meant by too far. “Not as far as it could have, anyway.”
“Good.” Stan turned as though to leave, but something caught his eye. “Is that champagne?” He walked over to the kitchen counter and sniffed the empty bottle. “Did you two drink all of this?”
Lilly nodded.
“Ah, that’s why you called me to come get you? Neither of you could drive?” Stan nodded. “Well, I’m thankful for that bit of common sense at least. Okay, let’s go.” He grabbed Lilly’s things and held the door open for her.
Lilly stared out the window as the car sped toward home. What could she say to this man she’d hated for so long? He turned out be a decent guy, and now she’d gone and blown it. Would he forgive her, or would this make everything bad again? She’d finally given him reason to push her away for good—would he take the opportunity?
“Stan … I’m …” Lilly leaned her forehead against the cold window.
“I know.” Stan silenced Lilly’s attempts to speak with a fatherly pat on her leg. “We’ll talkabout it at home. It’ll be okay.”
When they pulled into the driveway, Lilly could see her mom standing at the kitchen sink looking out. “Mom’s up.”
“I’m sure she’s concerned. She hasn’t felt well today, though. Try to go easy on her.” Stan pulled into the garage, turned off the car, then reached for his door handle. “Well? Shall we?”
They entered the kitchen through the garage door. “Where were you guys? Is everything okay?” Lilly’s mom stood with her hands on her hips, her new blue robe wide open, exposing her swollen belly covered by a filmy nightgown.
“We’re fine. We’ll get to that in a minute.” Stan went to her side. “How are you, Peg?” He took her hand.
“I’m okay. It must have been something I ate or just third-trimester blahs.” Mom brushed off Stan’s concern. “Tell me what’s going on.”
Lilly sat on a stool, cleared her throat, and started her story—leaving out no details—well, almost none. Mom didn’t need to hear specifics about the make-out sessions—or maybe Lilly just couldn’t bring herself to voice them. But she did tell her about the champagne. “I’m really sorry I lied to you. I’m so sorry that I got myself in such a mess.”
Mom rubbed her temples and took a few deep breaths. She leaned against the counter and grabbed on for support. Stan brought her a chair and helped her sit down. “Don’t worry about me. It just gets hard to stand up, and I’m kind of shocked by all this. I guess I shouldn’t be, though.” She shook her head and sighed. “Lill, we’re going to have to talk about this tomorrow. There will be consequences, obviously—alcohol, lies, spending the night at your boyfriend’s house. But there’s more to all of this than consequences.” She struggled to stand up. “I thought we’d made so much progress as a family.” She bit her lip and gazed out the window.
“Mom …” What have I done?
Mom held up her hand. “Now’s really not the time, Lilly. I’m too overwhelmed to think clearly. Maybe we’ll wait and sort this out when we see Dr. Shepherd for our counseling session on Monday afternoon. I’ll let her figure it out.”
Huh? Lilly looked at Stan quizzically. Mom didn’t want to talk to her about this until Monday? That was three days away.
Stan stepped up and supported Mom’s arm. “I think that’s a fine idea. For now, though, let’s get some sleep. You need the rest.” He helpedhis wife up the stairs and, once he got to the doorway to his bedroom, peered down across the railing to Lilly who still stood in the kitchen doorway. “Get some sleep. It’ll be okay.” He winked at her and shut the door to their room.
Lilly got herself a glass of milk, hoping it would settle her roiling stomach, and sat at the kitchen table. She fingered the fringe on the decorative cloth napkin as she thought back over the events of the evening. What was Jason thinking right now? Was he still mad at her? Was he lying in bed awake, worried if she was still mad at him? How coul
d she restore things to the way they had been? It was too late to call him, but she’d try to reach him first thing the next morning. They needed to talk things through. Lilly took her glass to the sink and rinsed it out. She couldn’t do anything else that night—or what remained of the night. She’d better get some sleep so she could tackle whatever tomorrow held.
Third try, no answer. Lilly had been trying to reach Jason all morning, but he hadn’t picked up his cell. She even tried his home phone—no answer. Maybe he hadn’t gotten up yet. Lilly checked the time. One o’clock in the afternoon.
Unlikely he was still asleep. He must be avoiding her. Embarrassed? Yeah, maybe that was it. Maybe he regretted his behavior. Or maybe he was mad at her.
Lilly lumbered down the stairs and found her mom in the kitchen stirring the contents of a large stockpot. “Mmm, is that what I think it is? Homemade chicken-and-dumpling soup?”
“Sure is.” Mom grinned at Lilly. “I think we could all use some comfort food. Don’t you agree?” When Lilly nodded, she continued. “Lill, I’m so sorry about how I reacted last night. I shouldn’t have walked out and not dealt with your troubles. I mean, I felt angry, hurt, confused, sure, but so were you … so are you, I’d imagine.” She reached out to pull her daughter into an embrace. “I didn’t feel good, and it all took me by surprise, so I handled the whole thing horribly. I’m here for you now, though. I love you, and we’ll figure out how to fix this … somehow.” She pulled back and tipped Lilly’s chin up so they were eye to eye. “Okay?”
“I love you, too, Mom. And I understood, really. I mean, yeah, I was pretty confused last night—even more now—oh, I don’t know. But I’m sure I’m in trouble. Where do you want to start?”
“Honestly, as far as any trouble you might be in, I think there’s more to this than we can see on the surface. I think I’d rather wait and let Dr. Shepherd sort some of that out over the next couple of weeks. She has a way of getting to the heart of things, and I’m afraid I’ll just make it worse. My radar seems to have been off-kilter for several years.”
Swept Away Page 18
