“I didn’t expect to see you here.” I smiled up at her. “I was afraid you were on leave.”
“Modified duty,” she corrected me. “I won’t be fighting, but I can help organize and make assignments.”
“Where do you want me then?” It didn’t really matter where Tilda put me, as long I was doing something. I had plenty of frustration I needed to get out.
As Tilda ran her finger down the clipboard, I caught sight of a shiny new silver band wrapped around the ring finger on her left hand.
“Whoa, what’s that?” Ember asked, noticing the same thing I had.
“Oh, this old thing?” Tilda laughed, and her cheeks reddened as she held up her hand for us to get a better look. “Kasper actually proposed to me at the beginning of the month, but I’ve been waiting to tell anyone until after I’d told you about the baby. Since you guys know, I thought I ought to start wearing the ring.”
“Oh my gosh, Tilda! Congratulations!” Ember squealed and threw her arms around Tilda, giving her an awkward bear hug.
I smiled. “Yeah, congrats. That’s great news.”
“I’m glad you’re both so excited,” Tilda said, carefully prying herself out of Ember’s hug. “Because I was going to see if you two wanted to be my bridesmaids?”
“Are you kidding me?” Ember asked, and she was so excited I feared she might actually explode.
“Yeah, of course,” I said. “It would be an honor.”
“When is it? What do you want me to wear?” Ember asked in one quick breath.
“Well, that’s another thing,” Tilda said, appearing sheepish. “We were originally thinking we’d get married in a couple months, before the baby was born. But with everything that’s going on right now, we decided we want to do it sooner rather than later. So we’re thinking the third of May.”
“That’s only a little over a week away,” I said in surprise.
“I know, I know, but we’re all here, and you and Ember could get sent off on a mission at any moment,” Tilda explained. “We just wanted something small and intimate anyway, and we love each other, so why not do it now?”
She looked at me hopefully, almost asking for my approval. After the way I’d botched the news about her pregnancy, I knew I had to handle things much more maturely this time.
I smiled. “You’re right, and that sounds really great, Tilda. I’ll be happy to help you celebrate your day whenever you want me to.”
“Thanks.” She looked relieved then waved her hand. “Anyway. We can talk about all the wedding stuff later. Right now, we should all get to work.”
“Right. So what should I be doing now?” I asked again and cast a glance around the room to see what my options were.
“If you’re up to it, you could work on combat training with Ember,” Tilda suggested, apparently deciding to go with her gut instead of the clipboard.
“Good. The guy I’ve been going against could use a break anyway,” Ember added with a laugh.
That did sound like the best possibility, but my attention was elsewhere so I didn’t immediately reply. While I was scanning the room, I’d spotted Ridley in the far corner, nearly hidden behind the boxing ring. A group of maybe twenty trackers sat on the floor around him, staring up with rapt interest as he paced in front of them.
I was too far away to hear him over the noise of the gym, but his arms were clasped behind his back and he spoke with a kind of intensity. He wore the same uniform as Tilda, though his jacket was buttoned up and he had a large silver rabbit pinned to his jacket—the sign that he was the Överste.
In times of war, the Rektor took on the role of the head officer overseeing the army. The head of the Högdragen, the Chancellor, and the King all ranked above him. The Överste made no decisions in terms of battle, but the position still had great responsibility in commanding the trackers/soldiers and preparing them for their orders.
“Bryn?” Ember was saying my name, but I didn’t look back at her.
“What’s going on over there?” I asked and motioned toward Ridley.
“Ridley’s training the scouts,” Tilda answered.
I turned back to her. “Scouts?”
“They’re going to go out and find Viktor Dålig and Konstantin Black,” Tilda explained. “They’re supposed to find the base camp, get a rough idea of how large Viktor’s operation is, and then report back to us. Based on the scouts’ information, we’ll send out troops to find Viktor and everyone that works for him, and destroy them.
“The Högdragen will stay behind, so Doldastam’s not left unprotected while all the trackers—sorry, troops—are off to war,” Tilda finished, and I remembered the guards I’d seen stationed at doorsteps.
Until—and if—scouts found Viktor Dålig, we had no idea when or where he would strike again. That meant everyone here would be on high alert as a precaution, especially since we still didn’t understand what he or Konstantin wanted.
“And before you ask, no, you can’t join the scouts,” Tilda said, her eyes apologetic. “Ridley told me to tell you.”
“It’s probably just because you’re injured,” Ember said. “Just like how I didn’t go on the last mission, because I’d broken my arm.” She swung her arm around now, fully healed by medics since Bent Stum had broken it.
Tilda looked down at me, her full lips pressed together and her eyes grim, and she didn’t say anything. Like me, she knew my injury wasn’t the reason I was being held back. I’d already let Viktor Dålig get away once. They weren’t about to let me make that mistake again.
“We should get training,” I said, because I was tired of talking.
Tilda nodded then walked away, checking over the papers as she did. Ember led me to a spot on the mats where she’d been practicing. Her partner had moved on to work with someone else, and when he saw that Ember would be training with me and not him, he appeared relieved.
I wrapped my hands with boxing tape while Ember explained what specific moves she’d been instructed to focus on today. When I finished, I tossed the tape aside and glanced over at Ridley. He happened to look up at the same time, and his eyes met mine.
Even across the room, I could see the anger still burning in them. He hadn’t forgiven me yet, and I wasn’t sure if he ever would.
Then Ember’s fist collided painfully with my jaw, and I swung at her instinctively. She blocked her face, so I went for her stomach—connecting solidly with the firm muscles of her abdomen.
She gasped in pain, but smiled broadly at me. “Now that’s more like it.”
FOUR
compunction
The wind had calmed down some, so I left my jacket open, letting the air freeze the sweat that still stuck to me. After we’d finished training for the day, Ember had insisted that I join her for a treat at the bakery in the town square, saying we’d earned it. Tilda had to finish up some paperwork, and then she planned to meet us so we could talk more in depth about her wedding plans.
My muscles already ached and my right wrist cracked loudly every time I moved it, but I wasn’t sure I felt like I’d earned anything. The day left me feeling more like a failure than I already had.
Several inches of snow had piled up while we’d been working. Although there were still tracks from people and animals braving the weather, the streets were mostly deserted. The Kanin could handle whatever the weather threw at them, but that didn’t mean they were masochists. Most of us knew when it was worth it to stay in by the fire.
But Ember didn’t seem to mind. She just pulled her hat down over her ears and trudged through the snow banks.
“You were awfully quiet today,” Ember commented as we made our way down to the bakery.
I shrugged. “I was just training.”
“It’s more than that.” She paused before adding, “You know no one blames you.”
“Some people do.”
Ember scoffed. “Those people are stupid. Everyone who knows you knows that you did everything you could to stop Viktor Dålig
and Konstantin.”
We’d been outside long enough that the cold had started to get to me, but I didn’t zip up my jacket. I just clenched my jaw, refusing to let my teeth chatter.
An oversized white husky was digging through the garbage outside the butcher shop. Large snowflakes clung to his thick fur. He looked at me as we passed by, his bright blue eyes seeming to look straight through me, and a chill ran down my spine. I quickly looked away.
“What if I didn’t do everything I could?” I asked.
Ember was so startled that she halted. “What? What are you talking about?”
“I mean, I did.” I turned back to face her, since I had walked a few steps after she’d stopped, and behind her I saw the husky had returned to rooting through the trash buried beneath the snow.
Ember narrowed her eyes. “Then what are you saying?”
“I don’t know.” I let out a deep breath, and it was shaky from the cold. I turned my head toward the sky, blinking back the snowflakes that hit my lashes. “I did everything I could, but it wasn’t good enough. So then … what does it matter?”
There was something more to it than that, though. Something I couldn’t explain to Ember.
Viktor Dålig had beaten me, that was true. The sight of him had been like encountering a ghost, and I’d been in shock, so he’d been able to get the best of me. That didn’t mean I hadn’t wanted to stop him, but it had been my fault for letting myself be caught off guard, even for a moment.
But Viktor had wanted to kill me. When he’d smashed my head into the stone, he’d been trying to execute me—I knew that with absolute certainty. But he hadn’t succeeded, and I had a feeling that I had Konstantin Black to thank for being alive.
Run, white rabbit, as fast and far as you can, he’d whispered when I came upon him in the dungeon. Even though he’d been escaping, he’d looked so defeated then—his gray eyes soft and mournful, his entire body sagging, his olive skin going pale beneath the shadow of his beard. Konstantin hadn’t wanted me to get hurt.
I’d been convinced that Konstantin had been working for someone, that his attack on my father and his plots to go after changelings weren’t his idea. In Storvatten, he’d even said as much to me, telling me that he’d done it all for love. Whatever that meant.
“What happened in Storvatten?” Ember stepped closer to me. “You never even told me about Viktor Dålig. I’ve had to hear everything through other people,” she added, trying not to sound hurt that I hadn’t confided in her more.
“What have you heard?” I tilted my head, curious to know what people were saying.
“That he surprised you and overpowered you, and then he escaped with Konstantin,” she explained with a weak shrug. “Is there anything more to it than that? Did Viktor say anything to you?”
The butcher leaned out the back door of his shop and banged loudly on a metal pan, scaring the husky. The dog gave one hungry glance in my direction before running off and disappearing into the snow.
“No. He didn’t say anything.” I shook my head. “But…”
“But what?”
The wind came up a bit, blowing my blond waves of hair in front of my face, and I brushed them back absently. Ember pulled her jacket tighter around her, but she kept her dark eyes locked on me.
“I can’t help but feel like if I’d found the Queen, I’d have some answers,” I said finally, deciding that part of the truth was better than admitting that I didn’t think Konstantin was as evil as I once had.
“The Skojare Queen?” Her brow pinched, not understanding. “I thought she was dead.”
“That’s the theory,” I said. “I wanted to look for her more, but the Skojare King called off the search, and Ridley said there wasn’t anything left for us to do.”
“If the Skojare King doesn’t want you looking anymore, then Ridley’s right,” Ember said.
“I know, but…” I chewed my lip. “If I could find Linnea, I think I could find out what Konstantin is up to.”
“If you find her, and that’s assuming she’s even alive,” Ember pointed out. I lowered my eyes but didn’t say anything. “And you have direct orders to stay here and prepare for war. You can’t go off on some kind of wild-goose chase at a time like this.”
“I know.” I let out a reluctant sigh. “I just hate feeling so useless.”
“Everything that’s happened lately has to have been rough on you.” Ember looped her arm through mine and started leading me away, toward the bakery. “But that doesn’t mean you’re useless. You’re strong and you’re smart. You’re a great soldier, and that’s important too.”
We rounded the corner, and the sweet scent of pastries wafted through the air. My stomach rumbled, and I realized I’d skipped lunch that day. I’d been so focused on my training that I’d completely forgotten about it.
I began fantasizing about a delicious blackberry tart—a wonderful combination of sweet and bitter, with an emphasis on the bitter. But my momentary good mood immediately soured when the door to the bakery opened, and Juni Sköld stepped out into the snow.
It wasn’t exactly the sight of her that made me freeze in my tracks. Juni worked at the bakery, so I shouldn’t have been that surprised to see her here. She had to be one of the nicest people in all of Doldastam, and her luminescent skin literally radiated with happiness and kindness.
It was who she was with, and what she meant to him, that made me stop cold. Following right behind her was Ridley Dresden. He still wore his uniform, so he’d come here right from work to walk his girlfriend home.
“What’s wrong?” Ember asked. Since her arm was looped with mine, she’d been forced to stop alongside me.
Juni was laughing at something Ridley had said, but then she turned, and as soon as she spotted us her smile widened. Ridley, on the other hand, looked stricken at the sight of me.
I’m certain that part of it was because he was still angry at me. But another part was probably because he’d kissed me—twice—since he’d been dating Juni. The first time was only a few short blocks from here, and it had been so passionate and so intense that even thinking about it now made my pulse race and my stomach swirl with butterflies.
“Bryn!” Juni exclaimed, walking over to me while Ridley trailed several slow steps behind her. “It’s so good to see you! How are you holding up?”
“I’m…” I couldn’t even muster a fake smile.
Seeing her sheer delight and genuine concern for my well-being made me recognize that I had to be one of the worst beings who ever lived. And that was combined with the way Ridley was acting right then—shoving his hands in his pockets, avoiding looking at me at all costs. When his eyes finally did manage to land on me, his gaze was so harsh I felt about two inches tall.
“We’ve had a long day,” Ember supplied, since it seemed that I would stand there forever without saying anything.
“I’m just cold,” I said suddenly. “I think I should get inside.”
“Well, you stay warm,” Juni said, but she looked puzzled. “And take care.”
“Thanks, you too.” I ducked my head down and hurried toward the bakery as fast as I could.
“Why didn’t you say anything to her?” I heard Juni ask Ridley as I pulled open the door. “Are you two fighting?”
I practically ran inside the bakery so I wouldn’t have to hear his answer.
FIVE
archives
The day started rough, and it ended with me falling asleep among stacks of books in the palace library. It began with a five a.m. run around the outside of the school, shoving through the massive drifts of snow with all the other trackers. Ridley walked alongside us, barking orders and demanding that we push ourselves harder.
And I did. I pushed myself all day, through every workout and obstacle course and combat training session. The hope was that eventually I would be too exhausted to think. If I drove my body to the very brink, all my concerns about Konstantin and everything that had happened in Skojare would fin
ally die out. Not because I wasn’t still worried, but because I no longer had the strength to worry.
It didn’t matter, though. My entire body ached from the strain, but the thought wouldn’t stop gnawing at the back of my mind—I had left unfinished business in Storvatten. I’d been sent to find Queen Linnea, and I hadn’t. And with all the signs pointing to the fact that Konstantin Black had to have had some part in her disappearance, Linnea had to know something. She might even be able to shed light on his connection to Viktor Dålig.
But since I had no idea where she was or if she was even alive, I had to move on to other sources. After training had finished up, Ember invited me to go out with her and a few other trackers to the wine bar in the town square. I declined, telling her that I needed to get some rest, but that was a white lie. Ember would offer to join me if I explained what I was up to, but she’d worked hard all day. She deserved to have fun instead of helping me to try to work off my guilt.
The library in the palace was always open to the public, but by the looks of it it had been at least a day or two since anyone had visited. It was an immense room with bookshelves lining the walls from floor to ceiling, nearly two stories above.
The room was dark and freezing, so the first thing I did was get a fire going in the hearth. A large window lined one wall, and all the panes had been frosted over. When I walked past it on my way to search for books, a cold draft blew in through the cracks.
The Kanin took their history very, very seriously. There were shelves upon shelves of tomes on lineage, public records, and accounts of events dating back hundreds of years. Fortunately, the ones I wanted were more recent, so they were located on the lower shelves, which meant I didn’t have to use the precarious ladders to reach them.
In trying to find a connection between Konstantin Black and Viktor Dålig, I decided to go to the most obvious place—family lineage. Before he had been condemned as a traitor and stripped of his title, Viktor had been a Markis, so his bloodlines were recorded in great detail in a fine, black leather-bound volume with gold lettering on the spine and cover.
Ice Kissed (The Kanin Chronicles) Page 2
