“My baby,” Lina whispered. “I was supposed to protect her. Be her rock. I let her down.”
“Stop.” His voice was sure and strong, his gaze steady and compassionate. One of his hands slid up to her cheek, lending her warmth. “You can’t change the past, and you can’t blame yourself for something you couldn’t control.”
Her breath caught at his words. She should’ve had more control. But she’d been too weak.
“I went back to using more regularly after she was born,” Lina whispered. “Couldn’t help myself. But I took care of her. I swear I did. I loved her so much.”
“I believe you,” he murmured. “What happened to her?”
Her heart gave a furious wrench.
I as good as killed her, that’s what. I let her down.
“She…she got sick,” Lina whispered, her voice shaky. “That’s all. When she died, I left.”
He nodded, clearly accepting her story, and self-hatred oozed into her pores. How could she not tell him the whole truth? That she should have done everything in her power to get her baby’s medicine, and she hadn’t?
But she knew why. If she did, he’d leave her. Everyone left her. And heaven help her, she wanted him to stay.
Oblivious to her inner torment, Dagan shook his head. “How did you find the strength to leave him?”
“I don’t know. I guess I just…in my mind I was as good as dead…without her.”
His hand slid around to cup the back of her neck, kneading the tight knot at the top of her spine. “I’m proud of you.”
“Why?” she asked, surprise melding with the bitter agony of her past. “I was a drug addict. A terrible excuse for a mother. What could there possibly be to be proud of?”
His fingers tightened on her flesh, and his turquoise gaze filled her with heat. “You didn’t let all the shitty things that happened in your life destroy you. You persevered, Lina. There’s nothing greater than that.”
“No.” She gave him a little smile. “I wouldn’t say I persevered. More like I went through the motions. But I don’t want to do that anymore.”
A hoarse chuckle tore from his mouth. “You know, you and I are more alike than you think.”
Maybe. They both seemed to be coasting through life, not really letting themselves feel. But she was beginning to see that was no real sort of existence.
The soft strains of an old, slow song sounded out through the crackling static of the radio that played somewhere in the background. High chords from a piano complimented the heavy strumming of a bass, while a woman’s melodic voice sang about putting a spell on her lover. The words resonated deep in Lina’s soul, except she thought maybe she was the one who’d been bespelled. She’d tried to keep her distance, had told herself it was for the best. But the truth was, Dagan had made her feel more alive than she could ever remember feeling. He made her believe that maybe she could make up for the sins of her past. That she wasn’t unredeemable.
You are, though. You’ve done things no one could forgive.
Still, Dagan had risked his life to save her…was risking it even now just by being in her presence.
He’s a good man.
The kind she should have sought instead of settling for someone like Thorne. And now that he was here in front of her, selflessly offering her words of comfort, she didn’t want to let him go. Even if he was too good for her.
Acting on pure instinct, she said the first words that came to mind. “Dance with me.”
One of Dagan’s thick, full brows rose in clear surprise. “What?”
“Dance.” She shot him a grin. “You do know how, right?”
He didn’t respond, but she could see the wheels spinning in his head, all his thoughts and reasoning about why their dancing together might not be a good idea. So it was a bit of a surprise when he slowly nodded and rose. He offered his hand, deftly helping her to her feet.
She had one moment to gaze into his eyes, one moment to read the emotions held within their depths, before he pulled her tightly to him and started swaying in time to the music.
Whoa. Why had she doubted his ability to dance even for a second? Clearly, a man filled with so much song would know how to move…and damn, but he did it oh so well. The solid weight of his hips fluidly slid against hers, creating friction so delicious it had her biting her lip to hold back a gasp. But when she sensed the growing hardness against her side, there was nothing she could do to stop her soft little moan.
Dagan’s lips slid down to her ear, grazing the delicate flesh when he murmured, “This is a bad idea, Lina.”
“Seems like the best idea I’ve had all day.” She wanted him, and she wasn’t going to fight it. Not this time.
“But Ronin—”
“Isn’t here…and he’s the farthest thing from my mind right now.”
“You know he doesn’t approve,” Dagan whispered, his voice husky and tortured. “He doesn’t want this for you.”
Lina pulled back just far enough to look him right in the eyes. “Are we really going to continue to let others dictate our lives?”
She sensed the moment he processed her words, saw the uncertainty in his eyes.
“No, but…”
“But nothing. If you want me, then it’s simple. Be with me.”
“Oh, Lina,” he whispered, his gaze tight with desire.
A sense of triumph wound through her body, melding with the heavy currents of lust tightening her skin and tensing her thighs. She had him now, and she wasn’t about to let go.
“Kiss me, Dagan.”
Chapter Eighteen
Dagan’s eyes blazed with rising heat, and hints of swirling red peeked out from beneath their turquoise glamour. “Lina, we don’t know—”
Before he could say anymore, she closed her arms around his neck, lifted herself on her toes, and pressed her mouth to his. His lips stayed firm and tight against hers, his body frozen in place.
What was wrong? Didn’t he want this? Maybe she’d misread the signs…maybe he didn’t feel the same way she did.
Just when she was about to pull away, he let out a soft groan, and his mouth slackened, his tongue snaking out to rub across the seam of her lips. That sensation alone was enough to break her body out in full-blown sensual shivers, but when he compounded it by tightening his hold on her, bringing her flush with the hard heat of his erection…
Wow, it was all but unbearable.
She lost track of how much time they spent like that, their mouths locked together, their tongues tangling over and over in an erotic dance. But then, with his lips still on hers, he slowly and gently lowered her back to her feet and began to sway to the beat once again.
A rush of air escaped her lungs when he slowly moved his lips from hers, using his mouth to trail a blazing path of heat down her throat. His hands slid down her sides, fingers tracing circling patterns along her hips while he slowly tugged the T-shirt she wore further and further up.
“Wow,” she managed, and he chuckled against her skin.
What had she expected, that he would lunge at her and tear her shirt off? Take her in a wild frenzy up against the wall? Maybe not that, but she certainly hadn’t expect this…this slow and steady seduction that was surely bound to kill her.
In retrospect, she should have known the man would make love like this. Slow and sensual, like the soft and steady lapping of the ocean waves on a warm, calm night.
Well, if it was seduction he wanted…two could play at that game.
She slid her hands down the front of his shirt, then underneath the hem. He sucked in an audible breath when her fingers trailed along his lower abdomen, circling the happy trail she’d been admiring a short time ago. His abs contracted sharply against her touch, and she took the opportunity to study each and every curve and ridge.
Though Dagan was slender, his muscles were rigid and well-defined. Yeah, the man definitely gave new meaning to the term “six-pack abs.”
“Feels like I’ve wanted you to do t
hat forever,” Dagan said in a sudden rush of breath.
She pulled back to meet his gaze. “Forever?”
One side of his luscious, full mouth curved into a lopsided grin. “Well, since I met you at least.”
Nice to know she hadn’t been the only one to feel that punch of desire when she’d first laid eyes on him back at Keegan’s apartment. It had been almost as unexpected a surprise as seeing Ronin again.
“Now here we are.” She glided her hands further up to his chest and the heat from his skin warmed her palms, sending waves of friction down her body. Her nipples beaded in response. Suddenly the fabric separating them seemed like too much.
“I want to see you,” she gasped, tugging the hem of his shirt up.
He wasted no time in helping her slide it over his head, carelessly tossing the shirt to the side. His honeyed skin glowed in the dim lighting of the cabin, highlighting the curves and angles of his chest, biceps, and stomach. What she wouldn’t give to see him rising from the ocean, the water sliding down his chest, playing off the heat of his skin. Easy to see what made sirens so irresistible. Why some gave their lives diving into treacherous waters, all in hopes of catching the elusive species. It was no doubt the same with their morphing mermaid cousins.
“You’re beautiful,” she whispered.
Dagan let out a hoarse chuckle, his eyes wandering down her T-shirt clad body. “Look who’s talking.”
His hands moved to the hem of her shirt. Without further preamble, he slid the cotton fabric over her hips, revealing a hint of her mound. His breath hitched, letting her know just how much the sight affected him. Slowly, he moved the fabric further up, past her stomach, over her breasts. When she raised her arms, he pulled it over her head. It flew across the room to join his shirt, leaving her wholly bare before him.
“Damn.” The strangled word sounded like a prayer coming from his lips.
Though she’d never thought herself particularly beautiful before, something in his gaze made her feel that way now. His eyes trailed down past the rosy tips of her nipples, and suddenly the chest she’d dismissed as too flat didn’t seem that way anymore.
“Lina, you are beyond beautiful. Absolutely stunning.” The hint of worship in his expression left no doubt as to the veracity of his words.
“So touch me.” Because if she had to wait another moment to feel his hands on her once again, she might just implode.
As if he sensed her emotions, Dagan exploded into action. He snatched her into his arms, his lips slanting over hers. She threw her arms around his neck, and when his tongue thrust deep into her mouth she sucked it in, tangling her own around it. She was dimly aware of him flipping them around twice and, a moment later, he bent to gently deposit her on the soft brown suede of the battered, worn-out couch.
Good thinking.
Though it was only steps away, right now the bedroom seemed like another continent. Besides, why waste a perfectly good couch?
His hands trailed all along her body, tugging her damp hair to the side before cupping her breast. She arched into his touch as she slid her hands through his silky hair, then down his heated back. His rigid muscles contracted against her fingers, letting her know he was every bit as sensitive to touch as she was.
When he tugged his mouth from hers and trailed kisses down her throat, she undulated against him. Hell, had she ever been this turned on before? How could she possibly survive this?
The heat of his mouth closed over one of her breasts, and she let out a soft, deep moan. When his hand trailed between her thighs, brushing past the tight patch of curls to dip into the sweet honey of her desire, it was all she could do not to pop up off the couch.
“I want you,” she whispered.
“Hmm…” He moved his mouth to her other breast, his silky tongue pleasuring her sensitive flesh before he murmured, “I’m right here.”
Not nearly close enough.
Before she could further protest, he slid down her body, parting her legs and hooking one over the couch, the other over his shoulder. He didn’t give her a moment to protest, but rather speared her moist, delicate flesh with his hot, demanding tongue.
“Holy shit.” After years of celibacy, years in which she’d barely even thought of sex, the feel of him feasting on her sensitive skin almost sent her right over the edge. For the first time in a very long time, she pushed aside her fears, ignored the demons in her head that said she shouldn’t allow herself to feel pleasure and simply enjoyed the amazing sensation of Dagan’s silky tongue, of his soft hair brushing the insides of her thighs. She tangled her fingers in his hair and rode out the wave of pleasure that overtook her, tearing a soft cry from her throat.
“Damn,” Dagan uttered, tearing away from her with a groan. “You might just be the death of me.”
Easy for him to say, when her whole body felt like it was on fire.
“Come here.” Her voice sounded husky even to her own ears. She tugged on his hair, urging him up closer to her, and when he rose on his knees, his sweatpants gaped at the knotted waist, displaying just a hint of the thick, hard cock she so longed to hold in her hands.
Fuck it. She was done waiting.
She tore at the knot, ripping the fabric in her haste to get it off him.
“Lina.” He put his hands over hers, stopping her. “No.”
She stated up at him, disbelieving. “No?”
He winced, looking tortured. “We can’t. The bomb. It’s too dangerous.”
Oh, damn. How could she have forgotten, even for a second?
“Shit.” She dropped her hands and scooted as far back on the couch as she could. “You shouldn’t even be near me, Dagan.”
Dagan sat beside her and closed his arms around her. “Stop, Lina. You’re not a pariah. It’s you I’m worried about. Not me.”
She shook her head, trying to dislodge his arms, but he wouldn’t budge.
“I’m not going anywhere, baby,” he whispered.
Finally realizing he absolutely meant it, she slowly allowed herself to relax against him. Her face settled into the curve of his chest, where she could drink in his intoxicating scent. And her fingers landed on his stomach, trailing along his silky flesh. They stayed there like that for some time, locked in a silent embrace.
It wasn’t fair. Just when she’d finally allowed herself to have him, they couldn’t be together. Even though he’d brought her great pleasure with his mouth and tongue, she wanted him inside her. Wanted to be one with him. She couldn’t even imagine what he must be feeling right now. If the erection tenting his sweatpants was any indication, he was far more uncomfortable than she was.
Wait a second. Just because we can’t risk having sex doesn’t mean I can’t do other things to him.
Emboldened by that realization, she moved her hand down his stomach, easily sliding it past the gape caused when she’d so recklessly torn his sweatpants. Her fingers touched the delicious heat of his rock-hard arousal, and she circled them as much as she could around him.
He gasped and stilled her hand. “Lina…”
She pulled back to meet her gaze. “I know, no sex. But I want to please you. Like you pleased me.”
His eyes darkened and he groaned. Though his conflicted emotions showed on his face, she knew he wasn’t going to resist her any more. They were both past resistance.
Sliding off the couch, she slowly lowered to her knees, keeping her eyes locked on Dagan’s the entire time. His breath hitched as he watched her, his chest rising and falling more and more quickly. Time slowed to a crawl, leaving nothing but her and him and this moment.
A flutter of anticipation started in her stomach as she lowered the fabric of Dagan’s pants. His arousal popped out and she gasped. “You’re beautiful.”
His husky laugh reverberated through her entire body. “No, you are.”
She closed her hand around the thick length of his cock. The duality of sensations, silky and hard, sent a shiver of lust through her that tightened her nipple
s. Lowering her head, she closed her mouth around him.
“Oh, hell.” His body arched off the couch, his fingers tangling in her hair. “Lina.”
Smiling, she tasted him. Learned the delicious, salty heat of him. It was addictive, and she wanted more and more. She concentrated on pleasing him. Moving her mouth up and down. Sliding her tongue around the mushroom tip of his arousal. Taking her cues from his groans and illegible murmurs.
Lost in the feel and taste of his body, she only noticed how close he was to coming when his movements became jerky and erratic.
Strangled sounds tore from his throat. He yanked on her hair. “Baby, I…”
Relaxing her throat to let him deeper in, she softly hummed. He cried out in response, and when he tried to draw back, she followed him, using her hands and mouth to drive him absolutely crazy. She wanted him, all of him, in her mouth.
“Lina.” He groaned and jerked, and an instant later a stream of hot liquid poured down her throat. She held him tight, drinking him down until there wasn’t a drop left.
He pulled her up and fell back against the couch, looking totally spent.
“Jeez, Lina. I think you may have killed me.”
Laughing, she curled herself into him. Uncaring that she was still naked. “At least you’ll go with a smile.”
“That I will.” He grinned like a maniac and hugged her tight. “That I will.”
…
The incessant buzzing of Dagan’s cell phone woke him from a deep slumber. He sat up, momentarily confused when he noted the bed was way too small to be his own. But then he saw the beautiful blond angel lying next to him, and the events of the past several hours came rushing back.
A soft, tender ribbon of joy curled around his heart. Part of him couldn’t even believe he was here right now. With her.
Lina lay on her side, sound asleep with her hair in wild disarray. The way she looked now, it was difficult to believe she’d ever been suffering from the aftereffects of a drug high.
After their interlude on the couch, she’d slipped her shirt back on and they’d crawled into the bed. They’d talked for what seemed like hours before finally falling asleep. He smiled to see her looking so content.
Call of the Siren (Demons of the Infernum) (Entangled Edge) Page 19
