by Katee Robert
Dirty, filthy sex wasn’t what they did.
Hell, they didn’t do any kind of sex these days.
Except they had.
He shook his head and opened the driver’s door so Ollie could jump into the truck. She didn’t quite make it, and he was forced to leap forward to catch her before she flopped onto the ground. “Damn, girl.” At least between the pup and work, he’d had more than enough going on to keep him from having too much time to wonder what Hope was doing. If she was revisiting their old haunts. If she was spending any amount of time down at the diner.
If she’d visited her brother’s grave.
He should just leave it alone. If she wanted to see him, it was child’s play to figure out where he was. He hadn’t asked her to come back. Damn it, he’d been doing just fucking fine before she showed up. And yet there he was, starting his truck and heading away from his house. The entire time he sat there and told himself this was a mistake. He didn’t have any right to make demands on Hope’s time—not after what happened thirteen years ago, and not after what happened a week ago.
But he wanted to.
He drove into town and then ended up parking outside Cups and Kittens because cruising Main Street was for idiot teenagers and stalkers, neither of which he wanted to be. Yep. Just visiting my meddling cousin. Right. He pushed through the front door—and immediately regretted his decision to come here.
Ollie took one look at the pair of cats sunning themselves in the afternoon beam of light, yipped, and took off running. Daniel dived for her, but she evaded him like a pro, barking up a storm. The cats fled, jumping up onto one of those cat jungle things and out of reach, hissing and swiping, their hair standing on end while Ollie ran circles around the base.
“What’s going on out here?” Jules came sprinting out of the back and skidded to a stop in front of the scene. “Oh, good lord.”
Daniel scooped up the pup—who was still barking shrilly enough to burst his eardrums—and backed up. “Didn’t stop to think this was a bad idea. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Here, bring her into the back.” She led the way back into the kitchen and shut the door behind them. Once he was sure there were no cats in the room, Daniel set Ollie down. She set to sniffing everything she came across, apparently having forgotten the drama she’d just started. Jules laughed softly. “Maybe we should have gotten you a cat.”
“Nah, I’m more of a dog person.” He hadn’t planned on having a dog, but Ollie had grown on him in a big way. She was just so damn goofy. He crouched down and ran a hand over her back.
“So, what brings you into town?” Jules asked the question far too casually.
He thought about lying or making some lame-ass excuse, but they both knew why he was here. “You seen Hope around?”
“She left.”
The bottom of his stomach dropped out, and he shot to his feet. “What?”
“Yeah.” Jules shuffled her feet. “I guess she wrapped up stuff faster than she thought she was going to and headed back to Dallas yesterday.”
I missed my chance. He knew he was half a second from weaving on his feet and brought his shit under control fast. He should have known that she wouldn’t want to see him again before she left down. Why the fuck would she? She was missing her goddamn knee and her brother because of him, and the first thing he’d done after not seeing her for thirteen years was let things get out of control and use a condom that was far too old. They hadn’t even had a chance to have the conversation where he explained that he was clean…
“I need her number.” He didn’t realize he was going to say it until the words were out of his mouth. He’d let things stand before, and he’d put enough distance between them that she’d eventually moved on with her life because that was what was best for her at the time. The thought of her being hurt and retreating because of what he’d done for a second time was too much to bear. He had to at least talk to her or let her yell at him. Something.
“I don’t actually have it.”
Of course she didn’t. Why would she? He’d have realized that if he’d stopped long enough to think instead of just reacting. Daniel scrubbed a hand over his face. “It’s probably for the best.”
Jules bounced on her toes a little, practically wringing her hands. “I guess I should apologize. I didn’t think things would go so sideways or I wouldn’t have invited her to your surprise birthday party.” She hesitated. “I know Adam got kind of pissy with you that night.”
“It’s fine.” The thing was, he understood why Adam had acted the way he had. Daniel would have done the same thing if he’d found one of his little cousins in the same position he and Hope had been in, and both Adam and Quinn viewed Hope as a little sister.
He scooped up Ollie and headed for the back door. “I’ll see you around.”
“Daniel.”
He stopped and glanced over his shoulder at her. “Yeah?”
She was actually still, her expression painfully serious. “I really do miss you. We all do.”
What could he say to that? He knew he was a miserable bastard, just like he knew that even being in the room with his friends was enough to bring them down. They tried to hide it, but it was the damn truth. For the longest time, he’d tried to fake being happy, but it hadn’t worked. Nothing worked.
So he’d done them all a favor and started withdrawing more and more. Being alone kind of sucked sometimes, but he was getting used to it. Since he didn’t see either himself or the circumstances changing anytime soon, he gave Jules a small smile and lied through his teeth. “I’ll try to come around more often.”
“No, you won’t.” She shook her head and waved him away. “Just don’t get pissed when I’m showing up on your doorstep and intruding in your life.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything else.” He walked through the door and out into the August heat. He tilted his head back, letting the sun beat down on him, wishing it could burn away the sick feeling in his gut. Hope was gone. Again. He didn’t believe in second chances—not really—but if he’d been allotted one, it had slipped past him while he’d been stewing. He’d never see her again.
It’s for the best. She can do better than a man like me, and we both know it.
The truth didn’t make him feel a damn bit better, though.
Chapter Five
Hope pounded on the door for the third time, not caring that it was almost midnight or that all the lights were off or that no one knew she was back in Devil’s Falls. After her initial panic attack earlier today, she’d been eerily calm while she finished her work, cleared her schedule for the weekend, got in her car, and started driving west. But now that panic was back—with interest. Six weeks. It’s been six freaking weeks. Too long. Six weeks since her snafu with Daniel and the broken condom.
Six weeks and no period to show for it.
The dog started barking, and she pounded on the door harder, thankful that he lived out in the middle of nowhere, because she knew she was making a scene and she couldn’t stop. “Open the damn door, Daniel!” She shouldn’t have come back. She was an adult. She should have just put on her big-girl panties and taken every single pregnancy test in the three boxes she’d purchased earlier that day.
But the thought of facing the results alone in her Dallas apartment had nearly been enough to send her curling into a ball she might never crawl out of. It wasn’t right. She was the strong one, the woman who didn’t meet an obstacle that she wouldn’t find her way over, under, or around. She’d stopped leaning on anyone when she was eighteen and realized that the temptation to let the people around her carry the heavy weight was just another crutch that she refused to give in to.
All that didn’t change the fact that she couldn’t face this without him.
What if it’s positive? Hope paused in her knocking and shuddered. That wasn’t news that should be delivered over a phone call. Not to mention she didn’t even have his number anymore. It wasn’t like he’d been all that eager to give it to he
r after the way things had gone last time she was in town.
The door flew open to reveal Daniel, and she couldn’t even stop to appreciate the sight of him wearing a pair of low-slung sweats or the fact that he’d seriously filled out since he was twenty-one. Appreciating her ex’s hot body was what got her into this mess to begin with. Hope shouldered her way past him into the house, her heart beating too fast, her breath harsh in her throat.
“Hope?” He blinked and closed the door behind her. “What are you doing here? What’s wrong?”
She laughed, high and hysterical. “I’m in trouble. I think. Or, rather, we’re in trouble.” That truth had been solidifying all day in the back of her mind. She wasn’t late. Ever. There was only one reason she would be now.
Oh, God.
He stepped in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders. “You’re not making any sense. Slow down.”
There was no slowing down. Not until she knew for sure. Hope ducked out of his hold, knowing she was acting crazy and unable to stop. She grabbed her purse and went to her knees to dig through it, coming up with all three boxes. She looked up in time to see Daniel register what they were, and the shock on his face would have been comical under any other circumstances.
She went still, her chest trying to close in on itself. “I didn’t take them yet.”
“I see that.” He came over to crouch in front of her. Daniel searched her face. “You could have called. I still have the same number. I would have come to you.”
It hadn’t even occurred to her that he’d had the same number. The last time she’d needed him, he hadn’t been there for her. As much as she was at peace about her past—mostly—that rejection was always lurking there. He’d broken her trust, and she couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t do the same thing again. “I’m scared, Daniel.”
He finally reached out and touched her knee. Her good knee. “What can I do?”
How about invent a time machine and go back to make sure this never happened? She didn’t snap at him. He was asking an honest question, so she owed him an honest answer. “There’s nothing you can do. It’s already done.”
He took one of the boxes out of her hand and opened it. She had the irrational urge to snatch it out of his hands, because opening it felt like the point of no return. Daniel unfolded the instructions and scanned them. “It says here that for best results, you need to take it first thing in the morning.”
“That is how pregnancy tests usually work.”
He shot her a look. “I wouldn’t know.” Before she could say something else to make the situation worse, he pushed to his feet and offered his hand. “Come on. You’ve got to be exhausted.”
She didn’t want his pity, and she wasn’t sure she wanted his help at all. But since she’d come all this way, it was the lowest idiocy to throw a bitch fit now. So she took his hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet. He started down the hallway toward three closed doors. “Come to bed. You need to sleep.”
Everything hurt. Her head, her chest, most especially her knee. She’d spent more hours today pacing than she cared to count, and it had taken its toll. But if she said anything, Daniel would freak out, and she didn’t have it in her to dance around his guilt tonight. “Do you have a spare bedroom?” She wasn’t willing to strip herself naked for him, emotionally or otherwise. She was too raw, too overwhelmed.
His step hitched, but he changed directions, opening the door immediately to their right. “It’s not much, but there’s a futon in there.”
His bed would be more comfortable, but the thought of being in Daniel’s bed again was… Yeah, no. She’d deal with the futon. She walked into the room. “Good night.” And then she shut the door in his face. Hope slumped onto the futon, every worry and pain screaming for her attention. She dropped her head into her hands, fighting back a complete and total breakdown.
She’d worked so incredibly hard to move on with her life—she’d even thought she’d succeeded. But the second she crossed the county line, she was right back in the midst of the past she’d tried so hard to leave behind.
…
Daniel didn’t sleep. He didn’t even try to. Instead he took Ollie into the backyard and let her run. In the past month, she’d proven herself more than capable of keeping up with him, her awkward puppy form starting to hint at the dog she’d become. It wouldn’t be long before he could take her when he went out riding—after he figured out how to tone down her enthusiasm. He’d introduced her to Rita last week, and that encounter had been as memorable as it was problematic.
None of that mattered.
He scrubbed a hand over his face. Hope goddamn Moore was in his guest bedroom. He could barely wrap his mind around it. And if she was pregnant… His body went hot and cold, fight-or-flight responses kicking in. What the fuck am I going to do with a baby?
You always wanted a few of them.
Before. Not now.
The universe had the most fucked-up sense of humor. He’d learned that the hard way time and time again, and it always managed to surprise him. All he’d ever wanted when he was in his early twenties was to marry Hope, settle down in a little farmhouse, and raise a family. That dream was long gone, and yet here she was, possibly pregnant with his child and back in Devil’s Falls.
Her life is in Dallas.
If she was pregnant, she’d take his baby back there, half a state away from him.
No goddamn way. Daniel pushed to his feet and turned to face the house. It didn’t matter how much time had passed—he knew Hope and he knew how her mind worked. She’d have a plan, even if she couldn’t admit to herself that she had a plan. A plan that wouldn’t include him, not this time. Well, fuck that. He had as much a right to decide that baby’s future as she did.
He strode back into the house, fear and anger and something else entirely all tangled up inside him. He threw open the door to the guest bedroom. “If this is my baby—”
“Oh my God!” Hope screeched.
Daniel froze. Hope was sitting on the futon in her T-shirt and only a pair of underwear, her legs stretched out in front of her. The right was just as perfect as it had always been, but that wasn’t what drew his gaze. He focused on her scarred leg, on the pocked flesh and scars running from several inches down her thigh all the way to her shin. “Hope—”
“Get out!” She grabbed the blanket off the back of the futon and tossed it over the lower half of her body. “I know this is your house and all, but you don’t get to just walk in here.” Her voice was shrill and her movements jerky. If he hadn’t known how messed up over this she was, that would have more than shown him.
And I let her just close herself away so she could stew.
Idiot.
He forced himself to take a mental step back and breathe. Yelling at her wasn’t going to do anything but piss them both off, and a screaming match wasn’t going to do either of them any good. “The baby.”
“The theoretical baby.”
“Darling, you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t think pretty conclusively that there was a baby.” Every time he said those words, his gut lurched, and for the life of him he couldn’t say if it was a good thing or a bad thing. “You can’t take it away from me.”
“If it’s a baby, it’s not an it.” She clutched the blanket to her chest, glaring at him like he’d just personally insulted her.
He chose not to comment on the fact she was flip-flopping wildly right now about what she wanted. Daniel figured she was entitled. Actually, the more freaked out she acted, the calmer he felt. He could do this. It might not be planned, but he wasn’t going to spit on the chance to make amends that fate had given him.
He just needed to bring Hope around to the idea of it. Tentative plan solidifying in his mind, he crossed his arms over his chest. “What do you need from me?”
“How about some goddamn privacy?”
“If I leave, you’re just going to sit there and your mind is going to run in circles all night.” The same
thing he’d be doing. He motioned. “Come on. I think I have some tea stashed around here.” As soon as he said it, he realized she couldn’t just up and follow him. Guilt rose up and punched him in the gut. The baby thing had him so turned around, he’d actually forgotten that her leg had irreparable damage because of him. Goddamn it. It was almost enough to make him retreat, but he powered on. “If your knee is bothering you, I can carry you.”
“No.” The word came out sharp enough to cut. Hope shook her head. “You will not be carrying me anywhere, so get that idea out of your head right now. I’m more than capable of moving around on my own.”
He waited, but she didn’t move. “Did you want me to turn my back or some shit?” What if she fell over? He went cold. What if in falling she hurt the baby? Daniel took a step forward. “It’s no trouble to carry you, darling. I’ve done it enough times.”
“Touch me and lose your hand.” She still didn’t move from her place beneath the blanket, though her dark eyes were fierce. “I’m not an invalid, Daniel. I’m not some broken toy that you can cart around until it feels loved again. I’ve been like this almost longer than I was the other way. This is my reality, and I don’t need your help, and I sure as hell don’t need your pity.”
Her reality.
Again, guilt tried to choke him. He fought it down, but only barely. He couldn’t afford to let her drive him away, not when there might be a baby. “Would you like some tea or not?”
Hope shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.”
Because he’d gone and fucked this up.
It struck him that he’d spent so much time fighting to distance himself from the people around him that he didn’t know how to interact with people anymore. He’d pissed Hope off when he’d only been trying to help, because he was so damn clumsy with his attempts to comfort her. It used to be second nature to reach out and pull her close. Then again, she’d been in love with him back then.
