by Cynthia Dane
Judith’s cheeks flushed with heat. Why does he always have to be so sincere? Made it harder to do her job. Because at the end of the day, this was a job and nothing more.
She frowned to think it.
“My love,” he murmured in her ear. “Do you mind if I call you that?”
Don’t make it complicated, Seth. The words “You shouldn’t” crept to her lips, but Judith couldn’t bring herself to say them. She didn’t want to… want to… what? Let him down because she had many men who called her that?
She briefly thought of Miguel, who had declared his love for her at the height of pleasure not too long ago. She had barely heard from him since. Something about being detained in Monaco for ongoing business. So he sent her postcards. Postcards! Each one signed “Affectueusement, Miguel.” Judith’s French was rusty in the world of correspondence, but she was pretty sure that meant some form of love.
I was in the moment with him. I don’t really love him. Not like that. She told herself that one more time before finally responding to Seth. “You can call me whatever you want.”
“Likewise.”
While the stereo continued to play, Judith took him by the hand and led him to the bedroom. “I want to scream your name a bit. Mind?”
How many times did they have sex over the past several weeks? At least a couple dozen. So why was the man turning white at her proposal?
Judith left the bedroom door open before sitting on the edge of his king-sized bed and beckoning for him to come get her. She knew for a fact that he could get hard again, regardless of how long ago that hummer in the kitchen was.
She wasn’t good with words. Best to take that back. Judith was a pro at words. She could sweet talk any man and get him to open his wallet and zipper for her. That was easy. What she couldn’t do was in turn impart her feelings to someone. What feelings? Judith did her best to keep them quashed in the bottom of her chest, where they wouldn’t bother anyone, least of all her. So when Seth wanted to get all wordy and pet namey on her earlier, the first thing she thought of was having sex. Sex was the perfect way to convey whatever it was she felt. Judith didn’t even need to understand her feelings. All she did know was that she liked it when Seth shared his body with hers…
She also liked it when he gently pushed her down and knelt between her legs.
Like anything else, Judith charged men for the privilege of going down on her. Not as much as she charged to do it to them, of course, but no sex act went by without a charge of some kind. Most men didn’t bother. They weren’t there to please her, to celebrate her body or what it could do. If in doubt, get lube. Judith was never in a hurry to see men as selfish as that again – unless their pocketbooks were huge – but she always took the time to remember the men who asked if they could give to her like she gave to them.
Today, she wasn’t charging Seth for anything other than the date. That had been arranged through Monica, who said to treat this outing as if she were with her patron and only taking the monthly fee. And the dick, but whatever.
The way Seth made love to her down there, however, was unlike anything she had experienced with a client in her many years in this career. The few who had ever made a show of eye contact and the languid kind of licks that sent a girl into the stratosphere were usually doing it for their own egos… to prove that they were viable lovers for a woman as experienced as her. It wasn’t actually for her. With Seth, she felt like…
Felt like…
She cried his name, legs shaking around his head and hands snatching his hair. Rare for her to come that hard from oral. Most men weren’t that careful.
Her brain was sufficiently fried by the time he climbed onto the bed with her, asking if she was ready for him. How the hell could she not be? She had been ready for hours. Days. Years, without realizing it. Almost fifteen years in this business, and she was now discovering a man who actually made love to her.
Not that it mattered. He was a client, first and foremost. A potential source of major income, and not in the marrying him sense. If I did marry him, though, I would be set for life. A doctor’s money? Who gave a fuck if he never made a cent off the paintings! The man was so careful with his money that it would last forever.
Oh my God, why am I thinking about marrying him? Because he was on top of her? Because he was tearing off their clothes and thrusting inside her on his bed? How long had he been waiting to have her here? In his den of the bachelor life? How fucking long? Did he think about her every day? Did he touch himself to her, and only her?
How long would such revelry last?
Don’t think. Just do.
Judith threw herself into sex with a lot more abandon than she usually did. She knew that she was safe in Seth’s arms. She could let her guard down. Judith didn’t have to worry about him going where he shouldn’t, or that she had to brace herself for something uncomfortable. Seth wasn’t an asshole. He didn’t think she owed him her body because she paid her money for sexual services. In fact, the only reason he even paid her for anything was because he had been drawn to her… in some artistic fashion.
Begging didn’t come naturally to her. She often had to remind herself to do it for clients, particularly those who paid for her to act that way. With Seth, all he had to do was rock effortlessly into her, and she begged for him to go deeper, faster, harder. The man was as good rough as he was delicate. I hate men like that. They threatened to make her fall for them. Not that one ever succeeded.
This is what it feels like to have sex because you really want to, isn’t it?
The thought had barely entered her head before she came, her body clinging to his, refusing to let him go.
“Please…” She didn’t know what she was begging for now, but she was down from her high and still needed him. The idea that he could leave her, even just physically… what kind of torture had the universe devised?
“Do you want me, my love?” he asked, still hard and in desperate need of his own climax. I can help you with that. Fuck her again, would he? I want to ride this bastard until I fall off the steed. At the rate things were going, Judith would fuck him all damn night. “Or is it all an act?”
Judith wrapped one hand around his neck, bringing him down to her lips, to her whole body. “I’m good, but I’m not that good,” she said. No way could she force herself to act like this with a normal client. That required a level of skill unheard of even to her. “I want you, Seth. Do whatever you want to me. I’m yours for the taking.” The plundering, the ravaging, the defiling…
When Judith wanted a man to rough her up in bed a little, she damn well meant it!
His hand dug beneath her hips. “Whatever I want?”
“Do it, damnit!”
It was going to happen eventually. At some point, one of her potential patrons would want to flip her over and fuck her somewhere new. She never thought it would be Seth.
“That other guy ever fuck your ass?” His hiss combined with the way he tugged her hair made her mouth fall perpetually open. “Because I want every part of your body, Judith.”
She gasped, her body stiffening, then relaxing, then anticipating what he could truly do to her. His cock rubbed against her flesh. This man demanded something new for their time away from the Château, and by hell Judith was inclined to give it to him.
“He hasn’t.” The thought of Miguel going at her ass was enough to make her clench. I’d have to charge him double with that thing. “You better beat him to it.”
Although Judith could consider about anything sexy, she never thought a man fucking her in the ass could be romantic. Yet when Seth completely consumed her, his delicate touch turning merciless once he had the purchase he pursued, all Judith could do was submit herself to his will and ride out the thrill awaiting her.
With one hand holding himself up and the other reaching beneath her stomach to stroke her, Seth fucked her until she officially saw nothing but the white, hot light of oblivion.
***
Breath w
as hard to come by for a long time afterward. Judith remained looped around Seth’s body, living in his scent and determined to commit every inch of skin to memory. He threaded his fingers through her hair, lightly touched her hairline, and tugged on her earlobes until he was too tired to lift his arm. The townhouse was so quiet that Judith almost missed the padded footsteps of servants in the hallway and laughter echoing in the hallowed halls of the Château. There’s no such thing as complete silence there.
A question burned on her lips.
“You had never paid for sex before me, right?”
Seth’s arm stiffened around him. He came so hard I thought it would be the end for the both of us. Yet Judith would pay her own money to experience that again… or to at least have the strength to do so.
“No. Before you, I never even thought to.” He sighed. “Guess I’m a bore, huh?”
“Not at all.” Judith drew her finger across his abdomen, feeling his taut muscles topped in sweaty skin. She could never get over how refreshingly fit he was without being a total giant. I wouldn’t be shocked to find out he does yoga and the like. Hey, a doctor would understand the benefits better than anyone. I wonder if he takes a class or does it here. She even guessed the balcony overlooking the little garden between buildings. “Most men don’t, I guess. Then again, most can’t afford to, let alone my numbers.”
“Yeah, I would fall for one of the most expensive women in the country.”
Fall for me? That was it. That was what was bugging Judith deep in her heart. “You’re a romantic guy, Seth. I don’t know how you’re not married.”
“Simple. I never fell in love.” He shrugged against the back of her head. “I’m not the type to get married for the sake of it. I don’t have glorious visions of having kids, although I wouldn’t say no. I’m okay with dying a bachelor if that’s what the world has in store for me. I’m okay with being alone. I’m such an introvert that my father was scared I was gay.”
“Wait, how does that work?”
“Don’t ask me. I’m not the bigot.”
Judith pushed herself up, hovering over him as hair fell between them. Seth pushed it out of the way and let his fingers linger on her forehead. I hate how much I love it when he touches me. Every touch of his was so delicate. So… loving.
This man loves me. If he hasn’t fallen in love with me already, he will soon. Judith could barely meet his tender gaze.
“Judith,” he began, tipping her chin in his direction. “Am I the kind of man you would date if you didn’t live that life?”
She chose to ignore the way he said that. “I don’t know, Seth. It’s been a long, long time since I made those kinds of decisions. Tonight was one of the first times since I became an adult that I… I have felt the way I do.”
Whatever it was that made him sit up and try to hug her almost made her regret saying a thing. “I feel things too, you know.”
“I can tell.”
“Do you feel things for me? Like that?”
“You’re asking me if I love you.”
“Don’t answer if you don’t want to.” He lay back down, bringing her with him. “I do love you, I’m pretty sure. I don’t care if you charge me for the privilege or not.”
He probably thought that sounded altruistic, but all it did was make Judith shiver in his arms – and not in a good way.
Instead of facing his words, she buried her face in his chest, determined to stay there until she eventually fell asleep. Thankfully, there were no dreams.
***
In the morning, while Judith bathed in his double-jetted shower, Seth made breakfast. A humble omelet to get the day started, but neither him nor Judith claimed to be hungry.
He, at least, was in a good mood. As soon as Judith emerged from his room wearing a light blue sundress, he whistled in her direction and put a ham and cheese omelet on the dining table. “How about some salsa?” he asked. Judith declined. Too early for salsa.
It was also too early for Seth’s delusions.
“You don’t have to go back to the countryside until two. What would you like to do until then? We could catch a matinee. Or we could stay here.” His tone implied he liked that idea a lot better.
“Either one is fine with me.” Judith barely touched her omelet.
Since the night before, she had been afflicted with a stomach ache. Not because of what Seth had done physically to her… but emotionally.
He loves me. Like, really, genuinely loves me. The way he took care of her, talked to her, asked about her life… made that hideously wonderful love to her… he treated her like a fucking goddess. Judith felt nauseous looking at her omelet.
How to count the ways… that it would never work? The worst thing was for a client, let alone a patron, to love her. The love they exhibited one another was supposed to be tenuous. A mutual understanding that this could never be “real.” Already Judith was thinking about the party she had to work that night. There would be multiple horny men, all ready to spend money on her services. On a good night with that many men, she could easily clear $25,000, especially if more than one took her on. At the same time was the most efficient, but she was okay with moving on from one to the other…
See? She was already thinking about that!
Yet it felt wrong to do in Seth’s presence. This man, who had casually declared his love the night before, was going to ruin himself. Maybe not financially… but Judith was doomed to break his heart. He’s never seen me with another man. The moment that happened, Seth would probably lose his shit. He never smelled another man in her room. Never seen her mussed from being with another man. Never even knew the names of the other men, not including those she no longer saw.
She had a lot of thinking to do, and she couldn’t do it around him. Her feelings on the matter weren’t even relevant.
“I hope you’ve enjoyed your time with me, my love.” Judith was ready to hate that term of endearment now, but he said it so gently that she couldn’t help but smile at him. A genuine smile. She was done for. “I hope we can do it again soon. Perhaps when I am your patron?”
Judith hadn’t wanted to hear that tone in his voice. Too hopeful. He probably didn’t even mean to put machinations in motion, and yet here he was, implying that this all needed to end now. In his favor, of course.
What about Miguel?
Miguel was the safer choice. He claimed to love her, but Judith knew it was a fleeting love. He would be over her. Maybe he already was over her after going back to Europe. Besides, he had way more money and wasn’t even in the country half the time. That meant he would take up less of Judith’s valuable money-making time she could be using with other paying clients. That was the downside to a patron. They brought a steady income, but didn’t leave much room for additional profit.
Seth, on the other hand, was a real relationship. Something Judith had never experienced before… and something she was not in a huge hurry to discover. I don’t want those strings attached to my business. That’s so dangerous.
“Judith?”
She glanced at him, dressed in his plain jeans and dark green flannel shirt. He was far from rugged, what with that smooth face and freshly buffed nails, but he was strong, reliable, creative, gentle (outside of the bedroom,) and… and…
Way, way too much!
“I’m glad you want me this much, Seth.” She tried to use her plastic smile, but it kept slipping off her face. “You’d be a good patron.”
He sighed, fork dropping onto his plate. “I was hoping that I could prove to you these past two days that you should pick me… is the other guy that good?” His countenance implied he found that hard to believe.
“That’s not the point.” She then decided to lie. “Besides, I don’t get the executive decision. That’s up to my boss.”
“Surely, you get some say. I’m already well above the starting bid.”
“Yes, and she’ll take whoever offers the most in the silent auction.”
He furrowed his b
rows. Neither of them was eating breakfast now. “Come on…”
“What do you want me to say, Seth? That you want me to go to my boss and grovel for her to pick you to be my patron, no matter how much the other man offers? That’s what you want, yeah?”
“Well…”
“Let me guess. You want me to tell her that I love you. That I’m quitting to run away with you and get married and have your babies.” She stood up from the table, angrier than she ever thought she would be.
“I never said that.”
“You never said it, but I can sense it in you. I’m intuitive. It’s a part of my job. Or did you forget that all of this is my career?”
“Trust me,” he muttered, throwing some of her anger right back at her. “I never forgot for one moment what it is that you do for a living and what my role in your life is.”
“Good! Don’t you forget!” Judith fled to his bedroom, where her purse and overnight bag waited. Fuck waiting around for him to drive her back up to the Château. She’d take Uber. “I’m a sex worker, Seth!” She called that out like he wasn’t standing in the doorway. You’re fucking gorgeous and I hate you. Suddenly he looked so much younger than he actually was. A scared baby-face. Great. Great that I can’t seem to resist this bullshit. Fuck me! Judith pushed passed him. Even though I’d rather run into him. With her desperate body? With a two-ton car? Who knew! “That’s not going to change anytime soon! I’ve worked too hard to give up what I’ve built for a client I met two fucking months ago!”
“Two and a half.”
“Oh, fuck off.”
Seth remained standing in his bedroom doorway. The covers were still undone behind him, the sheets dirty from all the sex they had last night. The pervert fucked my ass. Far from the first guy to do it, but him?
“Judith.”
She stopped halfway to the door, bags in hand. No, don’t talk like that. Strong, but afraid. A man firm enough to stand by her, but as human and vulnerable as anyone else.
