by Cynthia Dane
That wasn’t the point. That was never the point. “I could never take you out again. I would always be at that guy’s scheduling whim.”
“That’s true. That’s the business here. Besides, Miguel… you need to remember. I’m not your girlfriend, regardless of how you introduce me to your family.”
“That was a cover!”
“I’m sure, but you need to keep that in mind. I’m your mistress, not your girlfriend. There’s a reason I have to draw that line.”
What was she doing? Alluding that he was forgetting what they were at the end of the day? Service provider and client… what a clinical way of looking at it. Wasn’t that how he used to see it, though? The whole point of paying a woman for superficial affections was to keep annoying things like emotions and expectations out of the picture. Look how that had backfired!
“You don’t feel anything for me at all? You said…” What a fool he was. She hadn’t really meant it when she said she loved him too. That was an act. He had paid her for that. At no point had Judith been anything more than a glorified mistress. There was a reason she was one of the best in the world. A fool. Such a fucking fool.
Judith stepped forward, taking his hand in hers. Such a soft, warm touch. He almost believed there was trust and desire in it. “Anything I feel for you besides respect and friendliness is irrelevant. I have a job to do. Going forward, I need you to not be jealous. Do you understand?” She said it so gently that he almost missed out on the meaning.
“I understand. I’m sorry if I ever gave you reason to doubt me or my intentions.” He said it, and yet the words were jumbled in his throat. Only years of thorough practice at orating during meetings and giving small speeches here and there allowed him to say those words clearly and confidently. “You’re special to me, Judith. That’s all.”
He managed to keep himself together… until she embraced him. Then every single bet was off.
Had she intended to seduce him? Was this a job still, or did she really want to be with him? Did it matter, when she was in his arms, kissing him, touching him where it mattered most? Miguel hadn’t intended to make love to her that day. He would’ve been content with a mutual understanding about what they both wanted from their business arrangement. Because that’s all it was, right?
So why did he swear he felt nothing but the ginger sensations of love emanating from her? Maybe he really was that pathetic. Pathetically in love, that was.
Chapter 26
JUDITH
Did Judith fully understand what she was getting into when she decided at the last minute to kiss Miguel? Ha! No.
She was all words. All bluster. Everything she was good at being, but also everything that would one day be her downfall.
If her downfall hadn’t already arrived.
What was supposed to be a sweet kiss to the lips turned into way too much more within a few seconds. One moment Judith was giving him a kiss of understanding, and the next? Her tongue was halfway down his throat and her hands dove for what kept his clothing on his body.
What the hell had happened to her? She never did these things unless money was necessary to square away a relationship. Miguel was good for every cent he offered. He would always come back to her for more, unless he one day grew tired of her or found himself a real girlfriend to be monogamous with. That’s how it worked. Every man who ever declared love for her eventually got over her rejection and found someone new, someone more compatible with their hearts and lives.
Over the past several weeks, two more men had stepped forward, citing their great devotion to her. Judith didn’t know if it was age or what, but she found herself slowly falling for them as well. Or at least she thought it was something like love. When a girl had never really been in love like that before, how did she know that’s what it was?
She knows. She has to know. Judith never intended to succumb to love early on a Wednesday afternoon, but here she was, losing the battle against her world-shattering emotions.
Was it Miguel? Was it something about him? Not just how hot and rich he was… but how kind, how compassionate, how devoted he was to her, even though he paid for her presence? No man had treated her like that before. Not even the others who said they loved her. Most of those guys had other women they saw anyway. They even openly talked about them in front of her. It made it easier to let them down. “You don’t need me. Go to one of your other girls from now on.” Judith hated turning down good money, but sometimes it was necessary for her long-term interests.
This… this was all about her physical and emotional interests!
He had her on her bed before she could think of a single reason to end this. They had seen each other as little as two days ago, but it already felt like an age. Things had happened in those two days… good things, terrible things. Things that Judith never thought would make a difference in her life, and yet she should have known.
I should have known!
Miguel kissed as if he could lose her at any moment. He tore off her clothing as if he couldn’t wait to see her naked body yet again. He made love to her with such desperation that Judith couldn’t help but see it as a cry for reciprocation.
This man loved her…
This man loved her!
What else could she do but make love in return? She wanted him as much as he clearly wanted her. Whenever they were together, Judith ceased to think about anything else. No other obligations. No other careers. No other men…
Miguel was so much man as it was. Whether he was mumbling Romantic words in her ear while he rubbed and fucked her, or thrusting himself with incredible force inside of her, he was showing how much he could offer her. Physical compassion. Intimacy. A life that was endless passion and desire. He had loved before and walked away from the relationship with nothing but pain. Could Judith put him through that pain again? Or should she see what was in front of her eyes… a man who had chosen to love and trust again… with her?
Judith didn’t want to say it was love, but when such a man was loving her with every ounce of strength and determination he had, how could she deny what she felt? Whatever it was, it was powerful enough to make her decide some terrible things for her career.
She was so blown away by her own thoughts and feelings that she never anticipated a sudden climax that knocked stars right in front of her face. She barely felt him.
Miguel refused to get off her until she promised to hold his hand on the bed.
They lay there, gazing at her ceiling, Judith out of breath but not without her wits again.
“Wow,” she whispered. “You’re going to be the death of me, Miguel.”
“Does he make love to you like that?”
Why the hell did that have to be the first thing out of his mouth? “Shut up, Miguel. Don’t think about him. Think about me.”
He rolled toward her, his disheveled clothing and hair too beautiful to resist. “I am always thinking about you, Judith. You’re the only woman in this world I think so much about.”
“It will pass, you know. One day you’ll wonder why you were so infatuated with me. I’ve seen it before, and I’m sure I will see it again.”
“It’s not like that at all. I…”
“Please, not today.” Judith was glad when he stood and started to put himself back together. “You need to go, anyway. I have to start work soon.”
“Yes. Your appointment.” Miguel glanced at the painting on her wall. “I’ll go. I wanted you to know that I love you. That’s real. Whatever the outcome, I’m still going to love you.”
She didn’t doubt that.
When he left, she threw herself back down on her bed, pulling her pillow toward her face so she could groan in peace. Then fall into a stupor of a doze, because what else was she supposed to do? Face her problems? If I take a short nap, everything will make itself clear later…
Her door opened and shut with a soft click. At first she thought nothing of it. Must’ve been a maid come to straighten things up… but then Judit
h realized those heavy footsteps could not have belonged to the dainty women who came in every day to clean rooms.
She opened one eye before sitting up with a start.
“Seth!”
He stood at the end of her bed, looking down at the scene of her sexual – and emotional – crime. His demeanor went from confused to borderline incensed within five seconds.
“You’re early.”
He dropped his bag on the floor in front of her bed. “You’re busy.”
“No… I…” Judith looked down. Oh my God! Miguel was still all over her mound and thighs. Easy enough to see from Seth’s location. Add in a lack of clothing on Judith’s part, and she was caught red-handed… or was that white-skinned?
“I’ll come back later when you’re cleaned up.”
Seth bent down to pick up his bag. Where was he going? He could leave his things here. He was forty-five minutes early, but Judith didn’t mind. Where are you going? Don’t go anywhere… How was it possible that she was as relieved to see him as she was scandalized? Was she… embarrassed? What the fuck!
“Or…” Seth put his bag down again, but did not turn to face her. “I could paint you as is. Could be a fantastic piece, really. ‘Courtesan Caught.’ The question is… if it’s not the painter, then who is it that’s mussed up the model?”
Don’t you dare shame me. Judith thought that, and yet the words coming out of her mouth were, “I’m sorry. I should’ve known you were coming soon.”
“Hmph. He must’ve been good, though. To knock you out like that first thing in your work week. I wonder… could any other man compare today? Or are you done?”
“What are you asking?”
He looked over his shoulder, thin eyes narrowing into slits. “Don’t play coy with me, please. Let’s work.”
“I don’t want you to paint me like this.” Judith shoved aside any covers beneath her, messing up the bed she had neatly made before going down to lunch. “If you do, you’ll be doing it to spite me.”
“Don’t take me that way.”
He was slowly unpacking his things. The little easel. The pencils. The brushes. A small canvas. There were tubes of tester paint he used to get a feel for what colors he wanted to use when he painted later. Seth didn’t touch those yet.
“I’m sorry.” Usually, she would interpret her own phrase to mean that she was sorry she was in such a state when her appointment arrived. It was not exactly professional, unless the man charged extra for the privilege. Yet that’s not how she took her tone. I’m genuinely sorry. I’m… ashamed? No, not ashamed. Judith was never ashamed of what she did for a living. Other men could deal with it, or they could see themselves out of her place of business and far, far away from her body. I’m not ashamed about that, per se. What was she ashamed of, then?
Was it… hurting him? Was he even hurt?
His visage softened, and in turn, her heart did as well. Relief coursed through her like a gently flowing stream. Good. Good.
“You’re a beautiful woman, Judith,” Seth said, setting the canvas on the easel. “No matter what man has touched you.”
The relief quickly changed course and turned into fire.
“I know you didn’t mean what you said,” she spat at him. When he merely sat on his stool and looked at her, unchanged, she became even more incensed. “Don’t you dare call me dirty.”
“I would never say such a thing.”
“You implied it!”
“What the fuck do you want me to say?” Finally, some emotion! Cold-shoulder Seth was not sexy in the least. Nor was he friendly. Judith was not going to fuck around with Seth unless he was friendly. “I come in and find you passed out in bed with another man’s semen all over your damn skin!”
A pause. Then, Judith laughed.
“What the fuck!”
“Only a doctor would say semen!”
He gaped at her in disbelief. Judith, meanwhile, continued to laugh, hand clutching her bare stomach and doing God knew what to her insides.
“Come on, Judith.” Sighing, Seth slumped on his stool, still in disbelief. “Think of this from my perspective. Did you have this planned?”
“What? No way.” She had stopped laughing, but the ridiculousness of the situation was still not lost on her. “I’m sorry. Really. You don’t know… these past couple of days have been crazy, and then this guy comes in an hour ago… and, well, you see what the rest was.”
“Yes. You fucked him.”
More like he fucked me, but I won’t get into semantics. “I fuck men for a living, Seth. You’re far from the only one. You haven’t been the only one since I started seeing you.”
He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to, honestly.
“It doesn’t mean I think any less of you, or that I don’t respect you. It’s a job. Sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes it’s a job. Okay, so it’s my career… but all careers are built from jobs. I have my favorites, though. You are one of my favorites.”
“If you’re worried I no longer want to be your patron, you can put your mind at ease. Although I would appreciate not having to see you… like this…”
“What? I haven’t changed who I am. So a man fucked me! You do it all the time!” Judith snorted. She was on her hands and knees now, breasts dangling toward her bed and sloppy bun threatening to join them. “Do you know how many clients I’ve had to see after you’re done with me? What if I told you that one of those men paid me extra to not clean up after you left? Lots of guys get off on that, you know. He didn’t touch me. Just talked to me and had some drinks. But it gives guys like them a gangbang fantasy. I dunno. I don’t delve into the thought process. I get paid.”
Seth dropped the pencil he held. It rolled on the carpet, but he did not bend to pick it up. “You’re lying.”
She shook her head. “Nope.”
“You are. Men are weird, but not that weird.”
“Hmm? You think that, huh?” Judith cocked her head, seeing straight through Seth’s bullshit. The man was shifting in his seat. His knuckles were curled, but his eyes said “I know all about that.” Now, the way he looked at her was different. He was curious. Still mad, but curious. What was he thinking? What it would be like to be a man like that?
Judith shivered. First Miguel, then Seth? What was her world coming to? If she concentrated hard enough, she could still feel that moment Miguel came inside her not too long ago. She thought she felt in love and owned then? What would it happening a second time, with the other man she had mixed feelings for, do to her? I should win some award for that. Do we have awards in this business? I will earn them all.
“I bet you’re a lot like that, Seth.” Her tone came from nowhere. Sweet. Seductive. Deadly. “I bet you love the idea of fucking a woman right after she’s been with another man. Guess what? I’m your girl, fulfilling your every fantasy. Including that one.”
Bless him, he was trying so hard to remain collected. Unbothered. “I thought you said I was an alpha male? That sounds pretty beta to me.”
“Nah. Most guys into that are total alpha males. It only gets beta if it’s like… cuckolding.” Judith had done plenty of that too. “The power comes from knowing that you’re the last one… that you’re the one I’m going to remember for the rest of the night. Some man has already had me, but you’re the one with the last word. In every gangbang I’ve ever seen play out, the last guy to go is far from being beta. He’s usually the one holding out because he knows he’s special and deserves the honor of going last.”
“How many gangbangs have you seen, exactly?
“Don’t change the subject, Seth. Admit it. You’re thinking about it.”
“What am I thinking about?”
Nobody smirked more than Judith. “Asserting how alpha you are.” Miguel was one helluva satisfying guy to be with… but she had to admit, thinking about Seth usurping all of that was pretty hot. “You want this, don’t you?” She fell over, spreading her legs and letting him see how pink – and not so pink –
she was. “I’ve barely warmed up. Now all I need is a guy like you to finish me off.”
Her finger drew a long, lingering line up her slit, catching as much of Miguel as she could. Seth’s eyes never left that finger, nor the way her tongue wrapped around it, tasting one of the most masculine men she had ever been with – which was saying a lot.
“I only have one question,” Seth said, hand clutching the tray of his easel. Careful. You’re going to break that thing. Not that he couldn’t buy another one on his way home. “The man who did that… who was it?”
Judith cackled, body rustling against her bed and hair finally jerking from its pins. “Who do you fucking think it was? Read a tabloid sometime, Billionaire Heartthrob #2.” Yeah, #2. What do you think about that?
Like a bull rampaging toward the color red, Seth shoved aside his easel and launched himself toward her.
She welcomed him with open arms and a guarded heart. Okay, even I have to admit that this is hot. Seth didn’t initially come off as a man who would want to own everyone and everything in his view. That’s because he wasn’t. He was a discerning alpha. Instead of bulldozing and conquering, he chose his targets carefully and methodically. He had chosen Judith a long time ago. Perhaps as only a fling. Only as a way to invigorate the muse in his head. Now it was personal. Some other man was trying to claim her and elbow Seth out. That was not acceptable. Something had to be done to make Seth #1 in Judith’s mind.
Or so she hoped. So she really, really hoped. Come through for me. Show me what you’re really made of. She knew Seth could be both tender and driven by harried passion. He had shown her rough more than once. Given over to the primal tendencies everyone with a libido experienced at least once in a while. Now he would hopefully make Judith feel like the most prized possession in her own life.
“Is that all you got?” She curled her lips into a malicious smile as he thrust himself on top of her, mauling her throat with his growling lips. “Don’t you know other men are making moves on me? How am I going to know that you’re really the one I need?”
