“You didn’t come.” He nuzzled her neck.
“I did once.” She gave a wry smile. “I’m fine.”
“Aye, you’re more than fine.” He eased off her enough to slide down her body and kiss her breast. “But once is never enough, for the record. And that was my fault.”
His lips closed around her nipple, dragging a whimper from her as she slid her hands into his hair.
With talented fingers, he sought the aching spot between her legs and began to tease it until she was right back to the edge again. With his mouth on her breasts and his hands on her clit, he easily brought her to a second release that left her racked with trembles.
“There. Much better,” he murmured against her nipple, giving it a light bite.
Pleasure spread through her again and she gave a faint smile.
“Much better.” She kept her eyes closed, not quite ready to meet his gaze.
Don’t let the regret come. Not yet. This is too good. It would come eventually. It would get awkward, but please not yet.
“Hailey.”
And there it was. The regret, the uncertainty, was in his voice before it could creep into hers.
Her throat grew tight. How did she handle this? Now that the whole crazy moment of lust was dissipating what the hell was supposed to happen next? They basically loathed each other.
Here it was. Regret came in spades. Crap, she’d been so stupid. Thank God he’d at least worn a condom.
“You should probably just go,” she said thickly. “Maybe we can just call it a night.”
“Call it a night?” Disbelief laced his words.
Get yourself under control, Hailey. Now.
She opened her eyes, making her expression as casual and exhausted as she could.
“Yeah. This…what we just did…” she hesitated, “…it was, uh, good. Maybe we just needed to clear the sexual air between us. Get that out of the way.”
He nodded slowly, but frowned as he moved off her. “Aye. Maybe.”
She watched as he walked half-naked—he’d kept his shirt on—to the bathroom, probably to dispose of the condom.
Scrambling to her feet, Hailey pulled on her robe and tied the belt around her. She double knotted it a moment later, just to make it a little harder in case she decided to go round two with the last man she should ever be getting involved with.
Stupid. So freaking stupid.
Colin strode back into the room, but was silent as he dressed himself.
Lost in his thoughts, just as she was, no doubt. He had to be having a similar reaction to her right now. How could he not?
He shoved a hand in his pocket, jingling his keys. The space between his brows was crinkled, and a small frown played on his lips.
“Hailey, I actually came here tonight to apologize for yesterday.”
Why that hurt she couldn’t really say, but her throat tightened and tears burned at the backs of her eyes.
She forced a shrug. “Well, hey, if making me orgasm twice is your idea of an apology, I’ll take it.”
For a moment she almost swore shame flashed across his face. His mouth tightened into a slash and he nodded.
“Fair enough.” He pulled his keys free and walked to the door. Before he left, though, he turned once more to stare at her. “Just a word of advice. Be careful around your ex. You took out a protection order for a reason—you would do well to remember it.”
She waited until she heard his car start, for the sound of him driving away, and then she went to the kitchen.
After pulling down the bottle of expensive wine she’d been given last year at Christmas, she finally opened it.
Tonight she needed a drink.
“Why the fook are you calling me so late at night?”
Colin smiled humorlessly at the way Aleck had answered his phone.
“It’s not late. Not yet ten, even.”
“Aye, not late for pub hours, but don’t you need to go chase bad guys early in the morning.”
Adjusting his Bluetooth, Colin replied, “Seven a.m. Are you working?”
“I’m always workin’.”
“Can you take a few minutes’ break? I need to talk to you.”
“A brotherly chat? Hmm. I don’t see why not. Shall I have a whiskey ready for you?”
“Aye. And perhaps for you as well.”
“Well shite. This sounds like fun. How far away are you?”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes.” Colin disconnected the call and turned the radio back on.
Blaring some Coldplay was about the only thing that could potentially drown out his thoughts. It only distracted for a moment and then the screaming, neon-bright thoughts slipped back through his head.
He needed to confess to someone what had just happened between him and Hailey. While usually that someone would be his twin, Ian was the last person he could talk to right now.
Colin’s chest went tight and he clenched the steering wheel in an iron grip. Shite, but the thought of Ian finding out what he’d just done…
Ian and Sarah could never know. Simple as that. Sleeping with Hailey had been a one-time deal. A complete lapse of sanity that he never should’ve let happen. Why had he gone to her house in the first place. Seriously, to apologize? Had he been completely delusional? After yesterday he should’ve known better than to deliberately be alone with her.
But fuck it all if it hadn’t been amazing. Without even trying to imagine it, he could feel the softness of her skin. How it had felt against his body. His fingers. And, oh hell, his mouth. Incredible.
When they’d been teenagers, even then he’d wanted her. That desire had turned to disgust when she’d chosen to betray Sarah and Ian.
It had been hard to feel anything but animosity and anger when he thought of her. It was easy to do, because nobody had seen much of her over the years. She’d kept her distance, and now it seemed she’d done so deliberately.
He likely would’ve forgotten her if it hadn’t been for the night she’d returned to clear her conscience. And ever since then, exactly as he’d told her, he’d wanted her again. Only it was sharper this time and not with the immaturity of youth.
That desire and animosity had mixed together in an explosive combination—one that had finally detonated tonight.
Colin slowed his truck as the pub came into sight. After parking, he stared at the entrance for a moment and sighed.
His brother would think him a complete idiot. And, clearly, he was. He climbed out of the vehicle and made his way inside. From behind the bar Aleck caught his gaze and gave a jerky nod in greeting.
“I’ll meet you in the back,” Colin called out as he passed by.
It wasn’t long until his big brother joined him with two shot glasses full of amber liquid.
“You do look like you need this.” Aleck pulled out the chair across from him as he sat down at his desk.
“Aye. Thanks.” Colin lifted the shot glass and took a small sip, letting the warmth flow down his throat.
While he sipped, Aleck just tossed it back and set the glass down on the desk.
“What’s the problem?”
Colin took another sip. “I did something completely stupid.”
“Aye, don’t we all? What’d you do? Rob a bank? You may have to arrest yourself.”
That actually might’ve been preferable to admit. He swallowed the rest of the shot, set the glass on the table and then met his brother’s curious gaze.
“I slept with Hailey.”
Aleck stared at him for a moment. His reaction, as always, carefully hidden. Then he threw back his head and laughed.
“The fook you did.”
“Exactly. Fuck we did.”
Aleck’s brows shot up and his mouth gaped momentarily. “Hailey? But you hate the girl.”
“Aye. At times I do. And, yet, apparently at times I don’t.”
“Apparently.” Leaning back in his chair, Aleck watched him in silence.
Shite, he hated that fam
ous Aleck silence. The one that meant he was being weighed and judged with the most thorough of scrutiny.
“Do you have nothing to say?” Colin asked, unable to take the silence anymore.
“I’ve plenty to say.” Aleck paused. “But I’m more curious on the details. When did this happen?”
“Tonight.”
Aleck whistled. “And I bet you haven’t even showered yet, ya’ dirty bastart.”
Colin grimaced. “That’s where I’m heading next. She didn’t exactly let me stick around to have one there.”
“I’m not certain I understand how this all came about? Where did you two run into each other?”
Christ, now he had to admit the truth of it all. “I… Well… I went to her house.”
“You did, did you?” Aleck arched a brow. “And for what reason?”
“To apologize. I’m not sure if you heard, but Hailey and I met up by chance yesterday—”
“Aye, I heard about what happened with Emily. It was right fortunate that Hailey was nearby to help.”
“Oh yes, fortunate indeed,” Colin drawled.
“You don’t sound convinced.”
“Sure, it was lovely that she was there to help and I appreciate all she did for Emily. But I’ve very little respect for who she is and what she’s done.”
“It was years ago—a foolish decision made when she was a teenager. Don’t you think she’s changed at all?”
Colin thought of the man leaving her house. The same man she’d taken out a restraining order against, and yet she’d been hesitant to report it when he’d ignored it.
And the man had looked downright dirty—bad guy written all over him. If she’d truly wanted to change, she would’ve made a stronger effort.
“Perhaps she has in some ways, but in others not so much. I’ve no idea what I was thinking, honestly. Sleeping with her.”
“Well, that isn’t such a puzzle to me.” Aleck laughed softly. “Hailey is quite pretty, a man would have to be daft and blind to not be tempted to bed her.”
Aye, Hailey was gorgeous. And she knew it.
“Was the sex good?”
Colin scowled. “I don’t go for locker-room talk, Aleck.”
“Maybe not normally, but I’m your brother and you came to me to have this chat. Now just answer the question.”
Closing his eyes, Colin thought back on it. “Aye, the sex was good…” he paused, almost reluctant to admit, “…quite incredible, actually.”
“Interesting. And, yet, you have no intent of shagging her again if you had the opportunity?”
It would be about the stupidest thing he could do.
“You’re not involved with anyone right now, Colin. You’re a normal man in his prime enjoying a bit of fun with a woman you find attractive.”
“But it’s Hailey—”
“Aye, as you keep saying. I’m afraid your argument falls flat with me. Perhaps you’re ashamed of what others will think, but this isn’t between anyone but you two.”
“I could never be serious about her. Not with what she’s done. With who she is.”
“You don’t have to be. And who says she’s looking for serious?” Aleck rubbed a hand down his jaw.
“If Ian or Sarah found out—”
“I don’t really think it would bother them nearly as much as you think it would, quite honestly. But you don’t have to even tell them.”
No, he didn’t.
“Here’s the truth, Colin.” Aleck met his gaze straight on. “I’m actually pleased to hear you’ve gotten yourself involved with someone after what happened with Brenda. Even if it’s Hailey.”
They didn’t talk about Brenda. None of them. She was the bloody elephant in the room that everyone pretended wasn’t there. Maybe because his family thought Colin wasn’t ready to deal with it. Was still hurting. Sometimes it hurt, but, more so, it humiliated.
His brother was right. There hadn’t been anyone since Benda. He’d been living like a bloody monk for the past year, only because he hadn’t been interested in anyone enough to make the effort.
Hailey, though, had revived a sexual need in him that had been dormant far too long.
And the idea of jumping back into the abstinence closet made him visibly cringe.
Never had he felt such a primal instinct to fuck someone. And no doubt the term was crude, but that’s exactly what it had been. A need to take her. To claim her and have her screaming his name. To rid himself of the need for her. Only it hadn’t erased it—if anything, he suspected it had fueled his desire for her.
He was so completely fucked.
“What’s that Da’ used to say?” Aleck said quietly. “‘Fools look to tomorrow. Wise men use tonight’.”
Aye, that was what their father would say on more than one occasion when they’d been growing up. It was an old Scottish proverb. Right now, it gave him a lot to think about.
“I should be off.” Colin pushed back his chair and stood. “It’s getting late and my workday starts early.”
Aleck stood as well. “Think about what I’ve said. I’ve no judgment for what you’ve done.”
Colin gave a tired nod, exhausted with this conversation.
“Where I will have judgment, though, is if you treat her badly,” his brother warned. “It’s not how we were raised, and it’s not who you are.”
Yet it was who he’d become. Guilt and a bit of self-disgust settled deep in his belly. Again, Colin knew he owed Hailey another apology.
The question was, could he give it to her this time without wanting to shag her brains out again first?
Chapter Eight
Regret was an expensive cologne that she’d apparently bathed in.
Hailey chugged down four gulps from her industrial-sized water bottle and then set it back down on the station desk. Her shift today had gone at a snail’s pace, leaving her too much time to think about everything that had happened between her and Colin yesterday.
How amazing the sex was. How utterly screwed up she’d been to do it. And how, more than anything, her body was eager for it to happen again. She’d have to overrule such crap thoughts, though, because screwing Colin McLaughlin one time had already been once too many.
Glancing around, she tried to find something to distract herself.
The floor was quiet, surprisingly. Her favorite patient, Randy, had chatted her up every time she stopped in, before he’d fallen asleep just after dinner. She’d done her rounds, charted, and was ready for her shift to be over.
Another hour to go until she was out of here.
One of the pockets in her scrubs vibrated and she slid her hand in to pluck out her phone.
After glancing down at the unfamiliar number, she frowned and opened the text.
Hi, Hailey, it’s Sarah. I was wondering if you would be available to meet me for drinks tonight? I was hoping we could talk.
Sarah had her number? How? Her heart began a slow thud as sweat broke out on the back of her neck. And why call a meeting now? After months had gone by since she’d made the confession. The only reason she could truly think of was if Colin had said something about what happened yesterday.
The thought made her more than a little nauseated. That was between them, wasn’t it?
Or what if Colin had told Ian, and Ian had told Sarah? What if the whole family knew? Maybe she was the butt of everyone’s jokes?
Fingers flying across the phone, she responded with, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.
Another text came back a couple minutes later.
Please. You can leave if it’s uncomfortable, but I’m in Mount Vernon and I’d really like the chance to see you.
Shit. Pressing her knuckles to her lips, Hailey shook her head. No good could come of this, could it? And yet curiosity had risen inside her, along with that ache that was always there. The one that wished she could mend things with her old friend.
Despite her hesitation, she typed back a message agreeing to meet her in an hour and a
half, and gave her the name of a local bar. It was only when she left the hospital after her shift that she started to feel seriously anxious.
If Sarah had learned about her and Colin, and was coming over to lambast her, well then Hailey wouldn’t take it calmly.
He’d showed up at her house. He’d been the one to seduce her. Sort of. Not that she’d made it hard for him, but still.
Sleeping with Colin had never been her plan. Hell, maybe it hadn’t been his either. Though she still wasn’t sure she believed his excuse about showing up on her doorstep to apologize. He’d done an awfully crap job at it.
With just a thin hoodie over her scrubs, and knowing she wouldn’t win any hottie awards tonight, Hailey entered the bar.
She spotted Sarah in the back. She looked a little uncomfortable and out of place sitting at the table alone. The flowing white dress and pink cardigan was almost conservative clothing in this place. With her hands folded on the table, her gaze skittering around, she appeared as if she’d rather be anywhere else.
Hailey grimaced. Maybe she should’ve picked less of a dive bar, but it was a favorite with the nurses because they had fantastic nachos and cheap drinks.
Sarah glanced up then and spotted her. She rose from her seat, waving slightly.
Drawing in a deep breath to calm her nerves, Hailey strode over and pulled out a chair across from Sarah.
“Thanks for coming,” Sarah said immediately, her words soft.
Not sure what to say, Hailey just gave a slight nod.
“What do you want to drink?” Sarah asked.
“I’ll just have a Diet Coke. I don’t really drink.” Except for that wine last night when alcohol had been the easy way out.
And, even then, she’d had one glass and promptly passed out from exhaustion.
“Oh all right.”
Despite her apparent discomfort, Sarah easily waved down a waitress and ordered Hailey the drink. The heavy silence that followed seemed to swell and thicken with awkwardness.
Which was so sad. This woman across from her was the same person who as a teenager had helped Hailey through so much. Sarah and Kenzie had been her best friends in high school. They’d been the inseparable trio of cheerleaders who half the guys had drooled over.
Kilty Pleasure Page 7
