Hailey watched him undress. Her heart was so swollen with confusion and need, and a hint of potential happiness.
Who was this man who’d just declared his love for her? A love she didn’t deserve. A love she couldn’t bring herself to admit she returned.
Did he mean it? Clearly, he believed it at this moment, but what if he was mistaking good sex for love? People did it all the time, didn’t they?
And why did her heart hurt at the possibility of the latter idea being correct.
Because you love him and you want his love, no matter how much you don’t deserve it.
Her mind whispered the response, and it was so heavy and confusing that she shut off her inner voice and just let herself live in the moment.
With Colin’s solid, naked body standing in front of her, it wasn’t really all that hard to do.
For a moment, she was convinced he was going to find a way to make love to her in the kitchen. He’d already brought her to orgasm with her sprawled out on the counter.
It had been so sexy, amazing and sensual, and every minute that went by she grew more attached to him.
Colin lifted her into his arms, though, and carried her from the kitchen. Clearly he’d realized the next part might be more challenging on a counter.
He took her to his bedroom and lay her down on the bed. It was so sweet and traditional, and one of the things she loved about him.
While he put on a condom, she closed her eyes and let herself imagine what it would be like without that barrier. She’d never gone without protection. Never been tempted to.
With Colin she was tempted. So tempted to reach out and grab his wrist, tell him not to use one. But, then, how stupid would that make her?
She highly doubted he would give her a disease, but there was a good chance he’d give her a baby.
That thought flickered through her mind and latched on. Her breath held as she realized she liked the image, much more than she should’ve.
And then she thought of Curt. What would happen if he wasn’t caught soon? The risk to her—to an unborn baby.
What the hell was wrong with her anyway? Fantasizing about Colin knocking her up. They weren’t married. They weren’t even officially a couple.
And yet tonight he told you he loved you.
Colin climbed into the bed next to her and cupped her face.
“You look awfully deep in thought, sweetheart. Are you going to share those thoughts?”
She smiled. “Oh, you know, just this and that.”
You know, having you knock me up, but I don’t want to freak you the heck out right at this moment.
“Mmm. There’s the problem. I’ve given you much too long to start thinking.” He pressed a kiss against her neck. “I’d rather you just feel.”
His lips claimed hers, so thoroughly and swiftly that he did an excellent job of eliminating her ability to think.
Soon she was parting her thighs and begging for him to take her. He settled between her legs and drove into her with one smooth thrust.
She wrapped her arms around him, digging her nails into his shoulders as he moved inside her. She met each thrust, rocking her hips against his and climbing toward the summit of pleasure.
It was so natural. Powerful. Pleasure at full force. It had never been like this with her past lovers. She sensed it never would be with anyone else, ever again.
When they reached their climaxes almost simultaneously there were tears in her eyes while she clung to him as if she could hold on to this moment—on to him—forever.
Colin must’ve felt the same because he rolled onto his side and pulled her tightly into his arms.
His lips brushed against her forehead, almost reverently. Once, twice, and then again.
She’d never felt so cherished. So protected. Her heart swelled and her throat went tight. She squinted her eyes closed, anything to block out the emotions that were bombarding her.
But there was no way around it. No denying it anymore.
“I do love you,” she whispered.
His breathing was steady, his arms around her relaxed now. Colin had already fallen asleep.
Chapter Twenty
Colin woke first the next morning. He stared down at Hailey, still sleeping soundly, but with a little dent between her brows as she scowled.
With sunlight peeking in through the blinds and his mind growing more alert by the minute, he reflected back on last night.
Shite, but it had been one emotional roller coaster. He’d told her he loved her. A stunning revelation to himself, and likely for her. And he hadn’t stopped there, but had nearly demanded that she answer in kind.
What the hell had he been thinking? Hailey didn’t function that way. He knew it on a gut instinct, but he’d just been so excited with the realization about how he felt about her that he’d bombarded her with the enthusiasm of a puppy.
And had probably terrified the shite out of her. He knew she didn’t give up trust easily. That she’d been hurt too many times to just open her heart without serious thought.
He should’ve given her more time or approached it differently. At least let her be the one to realize she might be in love with him. And he sensed she was, but maybe wasn’t ready to admit it yet.
Which meant he needed to try and be more respectful and back the hell off from pressuring her. Go back to the easygoing, lovemaking stage without any expectations. At least until she became more comfortable.
Hailey stirred next to him. Her lashes fluttered up, revealing those amazing brown eyes he could easily lose himself in.
“Morning,” he murmured. “Sleep well?”
“Mmm.” She lifted her arms above her head and made a high-pitched noise as she stretched. Then she settled back down and gave him a slow smile. “Actually, yes. Probably better than I ever have.”
Maybe it had something to do with the fact he’d held her all night? Perhaps it had rid her of some of the fear she’d, no doubt, been holding on to.
He didn’t bring it up, though.
And, fortunately, there’d been no trouble last night. No sign of Curt on his property—but he’d had his Glock near the bed in case the man had decided to pay a visit.
“What time do you have to be at work?” she asked, watching him through her lashes.
Good God, did she have any idea what she was doing to him right now? He wanted to climb on top of her, part those soft thighs and sink inside the wet warmth between.
Unfortunately time was short and he’d probably already worn her out enough last night.
“Just over an hour. We should get up and get ready.”
“Okay.”
Mentally repeating his promise to give her space, he forced himself to slide out of bed.
“I’ll take a quick shower and you can go next, sound good?”
“Oh. Sure, that works.”
She sounded surprised, but when he glanced back at her she’d closed her eyes again and pulled the sheet up to her shoulders.
“Don’t fall back asleep on me,” he teased.
No reply, just a faint smile tugging at her lips.
He slipped away to shower, wishing like hell he had the willpower to take one with her at the same time and not touch her. He knew the two of them together in there would just result in more lovemaking, and him potentially being late to work.
Heaving a sigh, he stepped in the bathroom and closed the door.
The next hour passed too quickly, with him showering, and then making breakfast as she showered.
She passed up his pancakes this time and just ate a small amount of eggs, claiming she usually wasn’t hungry in the morning. He let it slide, but vowed to work on that.
By the time he arrived at Sarah’s home, he was almost reluctant to drop her off.
She made no move to climb out of the car right away either. Though she’d been awfully quiet on the drive.
“Thanks for the ride.” She glanced up at him, pulling on her bottom lip with her teeth. “Las
t night was…”
“…intense.” Shite, but he wanted to be the one nibbling on that lip. “And fun, and I can’t wait to do it again soon.”
“Fun,” she repeated, her brows drawing together slightly.
“You didn’t have fun?”
“No, I did. I mean, I usually do with you. But, what you said—”
“Forget about it.” Going by the discomfort in her eyes, he could almost sense she might be ready to call things off. The mere thought of it sent blinding panic through him. He tried to keep his voice casual as he murmured, “I got carried away. Caught up in the moment, I’m sure.”
She reared back slightly, her mouth forming an O. There was confusion in her gaze now, before she nodded.
“Right. That makes sense.”
He couldn’t resist reaching out to touch her cheek. “Still, I think you should stay again tonight at my house. Just in case.”
“I don’t know. What if he isn’t caught for days? Weeks? I can’t just move in permanently.”
He wished she would. Actually, he quite hated the idea of her not being with him tonight. Every night, come to think of it.
With her in his arms, he’d slept better than ever too. He loved her. He didn’t delude himself into believing otherwise. If he had to be patient, and keep their relationship on simmer, then he’d do it for her benefit.
“Hopefully he’ll be apprehended soon, but until he is I think you’re better off staying at my house. Or at least a friend’s.” Though he much preferred his house.
“You’re probably right.” She reached for the door handle. “I’ll think about my options and text you later.”
“Hailey.” He’d promised to back off a bit, but he couldn’t let her get out of the car with such a casual good-bye.
She hesitated, and turned her body toward him again. “Yes?”
“Nothing. Just this.” He caught the back of her head and pulled her forward so he could cover her mouth with his.
Maybe he’d vowed not to put her off with further declarations of love, but he could say how he felt without words.
He kissed her softly and slowly, pressing his tongue against hers with light, teasing strokes. Finally she gave a shuddering sigh and pulled away. With her hand on his chest, her gaze searched his. There was such a complex mix of confusion and desire in her eyes.
“Have fun kayaking.”
She frowned and seemed about to say something, but then slid out of the car and shut the door firmly behind her.
He watched her jog up to the front of the house and then lightly banged his head on the steering wheel.
Have fun kayaking? Those had been his parting words? Surely something more romantic or sweet would’ve been more appropriate after that kiss they’d just shared.
But no. His parting words could’ve just as easily been spoken to his niece, Emily.
With a scowl, and a vow to do better tonight, he threw the cruiser in Reverse and backed out of Sarah’s driveway.
Now to head into work and find out if they’d located and arrested MacGregor yet.
“Hey you. Welcome back.”
Boy, this felt familiar. Hailey smiled at Sarah as she stepped into the house she’d left just over twelve hours ago.
“Thanks. Are you guys still thinking about kayaking this morning?”
“Absolutely. Emily can’t stop talking about it. We’ve gone once this summer and she’s been all too excited about going again.”
“Kayaking!” Emily bounded down the hallway of the house. In her shorts and tank top, she looked ready to hit the water. “Hi, Hailey! I’m so excited you’re coming with us.”
“I’m excited too.” Hailey took in the brace on Emily’s arm and pursed her lips. “Though, I’m not sure how you’ll be able to kayak with that arm being injured still.”
“She can’t do any paddling,” Sarah answered, casting her daughter a warning look. “It’s the agreement we reached if we were going to go today.”
Emily’s lower lip jutted out and she heaved a dramatic sigh. Just as quickly she flashed a toothy smile.
“Whatever, I don’t care. I just like being on a boat.”
Hailey didn’t bother to hide a laugh. Emily was totally a teen in training. Her parents had better be prepared.
“All right, well you need to go use the bathroom, brush your teeth, and then we’ll head out.” Sarah shooed Emily out of the room.
When they were alone, Sarah turned toward her, eyes bright. “So, how was last night?”
“Last night?”
“With Colin. Did he calm down at all? Stop being so grumpy?”
“Yes, he calmed down. I think he was just…” Hailey hesitated, “…worried.”
“Yes, he was.” Sarah leaned forward and lowered her voice. “I have never seen him act the way he did last night—it’s so out of character for him. He has some serious feelings for you, Hailey.”
She sighed. “I don’t really know how he feels.”
She’d thought she did last night, after his confession of being in love with her, but then this morning he’d been so different. In the car she’d been about to tell him there was a good chance she felt the same way, but he’d cut her off. He’d told her to “forget about it” and that he’d gotten “caught up in the moment”.
She might’ve written it off as him trying to save some pride, but then his whole demeanor this morning had been different too. More guarded. Less flirty.
Then there was that kiss before she’d left the car.
Ugh. It was all so confusing. Why the hell did she have to overanalyze everything? Why couldn’t she just go with it?
“I’m ready! Can we go?”
Emily bounded back into the room, all smiles.
“Yeah, let’s head out.”
Soon they were making the short walk to the wharf in Coupeville. It was still around the breakfast hour, and not many people were about.
By the time they rented two kayaks—one double and one single—the sun was quickly warming up the air. It looked like it would be another gorgeous day on the island.
“Mom, can I ride in the kayak with Hailey? Please?”
Sarah and Hailey exchanged glances; Sarah shrugged and gave an apologetic look.
“Only if Hailey wants to, baby. You’re a handful.”
“I don’t mind if you don’t.” Hailey winked as she snapped herself into the life preserver. “I actually go kayaking quite a bit every summer. It’s kind of my thing.”
“Well let me just help you into your jacket first.” Sarah fastened Emily into a life vest and then nodded. “You look like you’re set. Behave for Hailey, okay? Don’t do anything crazy.”
“Mom, I know. Jeez, you treat me like such a baby.”
Hailey bit her lip to avoid laughing as Sarah rolled her eyes and shooed her daughter toward the kayaks.
Sarah leaned close to Hailey. “Hey, so two weeks from Friday we’re having my bachelorette party at the pub. And the Sunday after, Ian and I will be getting married on Colin’s property. Small, family and friends only. You’ll come to both, of course.”
It was barely a question, but Hailey wasn’t about to say no. A genuine smile of happiness for her friend crossed Hailey’s face as she nodded.
“I would be honored. And if no one else has stepped up to be the designated driver at your bachelorette, let me volunteer.”
“Are you kidding? That would be great, Hailey. I swear we were going to have to draw straws pretty soon.”
Hailey laughed and climbed into the kayak, steadying herself as she sat down.
“Well I’m not a big drinker, so it’ll work out great.” Hailey gestured to the seat in front of her in the double kayak. “Can you climb in, Emily? Or do you want your mom to help?”
“I can climb in.”
With one functioning arm? They’d see about that. Fortunately, Emily quickly proved herself nimble and balanced as she settled into the seat in front of Hailey.
“Great job. I’m i
mpressed.” Hailey pushed the kayak away from the dock and began paddling out a bit.
She kept her eye on Sarah who was right behind her in the single kayak. A moment later her friend was away from the dock and they were paddling side by side.
“Where do you want to go first?” Hailey called out. “Under the wharf or out to deeper water?”
“Under the wharf!” Emily yelled. “I want to look for starfish and crabs!”
“Under the wharf it is,” Sarah agreed. “It’s a low enough tide that we may see some pretty cool things.”
Hailey guided her kayak back under the wharf. It was a little darker, with the small building on top of the wharf at the end, and the high wooden beams surrounding them.
With the tide low, the barnacles that decorated some of the posts could be seen.
Emily squealed with excitement and reached out to touch a few.
“See any starfish?” Hailey asked and glanced over the edge of the boat.
“Tons of them! They’re pink and so cool looking. I wanna get out and touch them.”
“Um, no.” Sarah called out from the kayak behind them. “You keep your butt in that seat, missy.”
“I am. Jeez, I was totally kidding, Mom.”
It was still early enough in the morning that there weren’t many people out. It was warm and quiet, nothing but the sound of their paddles in the water as they moved out from under the wharf and made their way down the cove to the more isolated area where the mussels were harvested.
They kept near the shore so Emily could keep scoping out marine life.
“Do people swim in here?” Emily asked, her voice dropping in volume.
“I don’t think so, not usually,” Sarah answered. “I rarely see people at least. It’s too cold.”
“Yeah, it is pretty cold,” Hailey agreed. “And dangerous, with all the sharp barnacles.”
“Maybe we should tell that man to be careful then?”
“Man?” Premonition kicked in, even before Hailey swung her gaze behind them.
Red-eyed and looking drugged out of his fucking mind, Curt MacGregor was wading through the water and was just feet away from their kayaks.
Kilty Pleasure Page 19
