by Lisa Grace
Ma’am Pickersgill and her Mam, Missus Rebecca, and Ma’am’s daughter, Caroline, didn’t count. After all, Grace was indentured to them, and a true friendship would mean the freedom to be friends. She had no choice but to get along and do as they said. Mrs. Bethany and her got along, but neither of them was talkative.
But Mrs. Louisa was different. She wasn’t bossing her, just treating her like a guest, except for asking Grace to pour the coffee for them both. She’d never had a white woman just sit and talk to her for fun. For Grace it was real and perfect, just like her daydreams.
“I asked George to come and get us when they’re ready to put the flag up. I want you to see what all your hard work went into. Why Grace, you’re a part of history, a proud part of this country. When we go to battle, when my dear George goes to battle, I will feel better knowing your flag, waving high in the sky, puts my man, all our men, closer to the Lord’s sight. Please pray for him and the men, for our safety and our nation’s. Will you do that for me Grace—as a friend?”
Grace teared up. She could see that Louisa was terrified for husband.
“Oh I’ll pray, for you Mrs. Louisa, I will pray for you.” Grace had never seen a woman who loved a man so much. Major George must be a good man to inspire such devotion. Grace could never imagine loving a man. They’d only ever brought her pain and humiliation.
“Do you have someone special, Grace, a beau?”
“No, I don’t want no man. I’m happy with myself.”
“But don’t you want children, a husband?”
How could Grace explain that having children would mean having a man? Something that was a nightmare. Having a man who loved her was something she could never imagine. Men and toads were the same. Horrible, smelly, loud, demanding things. The thought of a man pressed against her like Mr. Copper was, with the toads and cicaydas so loud with their croaking and buzzing, was enough to make her sick. To Grace that was the music of physical love, nothing to want, something to endure.
“No Ma’am, I want to work, earn my freedom, an learn to read an write. That be enough to keep me happy.”
“How much can you read and write?”
“Nones at all.”
Grace sat and watched Miss Louisa, waiting patiently for the next question. She couldn’t imagine what Mrs. Louisa was thinking. Maybe she was horrified that she was talking to someone who couldn’t read or write. Maybe Mrs. Louisa finally realized what poor company Grace was for her. Maybe she would be dismissed and sent back to her dark little room.
“Well, let us start now.” Missus Louisa got up and went over to a large trunk at the base of the bunks. She took out a box of fine writing paper, a quill pen, and ink.
“Sit at the table, Grace.”
Grace looked around for a cloth to wipe the table as it was still dusted with flour from the dough Miss Maggie had rolled out. The dough was rising in a bread tin with a towel placed over it. The yeast slowly made the bread rise and take shape. It was almost ready for baking. Grace used the edge of her apron and scooped the loose flour into the palm of her hand. She walked to the fire and let the loose flour fall into the flames and watched it float down and disappear without a sound.
“Here, these are for you to keep,” Mrs. Louisa said, setting the paper, inkwell, and pen on the table. Mrs. Louisa went back and got some envelopes and wrote on the center of three of them, “This will get you started. The first thing you are going to learn tonight is the alphabet. It is all the letters that make up words. When I get home I will send you a packet of things. Maybe a basic reader book and paper and envelopes. You’ll need a slate and chalk for practicing your letters and words. And ink for when you write me letters. All I ask is that you write to me. Will you do that?” She smiled.
Grace was in shock again. Someone who was willing to help her learn to read and write, an answered prayer. “Yes, Missus Louisa.”
An hour later, while Grace was busy tracing letters, Miss Maggie came back.
“I persevered girls, I persevered. Fresh ground coffee the cook had been saving for the General, and carrots and peas with some dried beef. We will eat like queens tonight, like queens.”
Miss Maggie went whistling and preparing to cook dinner over the fire. Grace was happy to listen to Miss Maggie and Mrs. Louisa chatting away. She had never known such happiness. Somewhere in her heart she knew it was too good to last.
***
An hour later, when the pot of stew was just starting to come to a simmer, the Major knocked on the door.
Mrs. Louisa threw herself into her husband’s arms scarcely before he even had a chance to take a step inside.
“Now Louisa, I know a flag raising is an exhilarating event, but you will just have to contain your excitement.” He teased her.
“I missed you and I do not care who knows it.”
“Well, I’d appreciate a little decorum in front of the men as I must lead them into battle, not love.”
“I know, but it is only us women here and we will not tell.”
“Ladies.” The Major held out an arm for Louisa and gestured for Miss Maggie and Grace to follow with the other.
Miss Maggie spoke up from where she stood stirring the stew, “Well, don’t mind me. I’m busy with dinner. We’ll eat at seven sharp. You seen one flag raising, you seen them all. Will you join us for dinner, Major?”
“Certainly, Miss Maggie. I wouldn’t miss your good cooking for the world. I’ll have plenty of time to enjoy the army’s cooking for the rest of the duration.”
They headed out the door and took a series of twists and turns through narrow hallways. They passed small rooms with chest-high openings and holes in the walls just wide enough for a gun to poke through, similar to the openings on the ships at the docks where the cannons stuck through. Grace was turned all around by the time they came to a large open courtyard near the front of the fort. There was a pole high up on the parapet that looked like it went a mile into the sky to Grace.
It was then Grace realized the company of men standing at attention had been waiting on the Major’s arrival. At a nod from the Major another man barked out an order and a soldier began a drum roll. A company of six men took the flag in gloved hands and walked it up the stairs to the parapet. When they reached the top, they proceeded to unfold the flag with precision. One of the men worked at securing the flag to the rope on the pole. Grace could see how thick the rope was even from such a distance away. It brought back memories of all the work her, Ma’am, Rebecca, Caroline, and the nieces had put into the flag. Every stitch hand sewn and flat-seamed which took more work and twice the stitches.
She felt pride in her accomplishment for the first time in her life, and realized she was watching her history. This was a good time, something she wanted to hold in her memory forever, these perfect minutes of her life. A tear came to her eye and she quickly wiped it away.
Now she was honored Ma’am had sent her to see this. It was a blessing. The soldier tied the last knot to hold the flag to the rope. The drum roll ceased. Another command was given and the flag was raised. It was huge. Forty-two feet long, thirty feet high, “as tall as a four-story building,” Mam had told her when they were sitting and sewing.
Louisa said, “Oh Grace, I had no idea.” The awe in Louisa’s voice brought another tear to Grace’s eye. It’s true. She had worked hard on that flag, just as much if not more than the other women.
When the flag, all four stories of it, reached the top of the pole, another order was shouted out. Two men worked at tying it in place as the other two held the rope steady.
When the soldiers were done, they stepped back and another command was given. All the men below, including the Major, saluted the flag. The sharp cracking flapping noise the flag made in the wind was like nothing Grace had heard before. The flags she made for ships were smaller and while they rippled and smacked in the wind, the noise they made was nothing like this, she thought. A constant thrumming like a huge angel’s wing.
Louisa
looked at Grace, “Thank you. God in heaven will surely remember our men when he sees what your hands have wrought. Thank you. You have no idea what this means to me.”
Another shout was given and the men snapped back into their formation ready to march. A small band consisting of a flute, piccolo, drum, and bugle struck up a song Grace had heard before, but had no idea what its name was.
As the flag escort marched off, the rest of the troops were put at ease and went back to their business. A man wearing a uniform nicely stitched with highly polished brass buttons signifying some type of high rank approached the Major, Louisa, and Grace.
“Major Armistead, I see you have other interests to occupy your time while waiting on the completion of your battlements of defense.”
Grace did not like how this man looked at her or Mrs. Louisa.
“Major Rivers, this is my wife, Louisa, and Miss Grace Wisher. Miss Wisher is in the employ of Mary Pickersgill. She’s been sent to see the flag was to our satisfaction.” Grace dropped a quick curtsey as Mrs. Louisa just inclined her head.
“Will you be staying on at the fort, Major?” Louisa asked.
“No. No, my contingent and I will be leaving in the morning. We were just delivering armaments and gunpowder for the siege ahead. We will be leaving for another load to keep stocking the fort until the battle starts. I wasn’t as lucky as the Major to draw a commission with a roof over my head every night.” Major Rivers chuckled, but there was no mirth in it. The jealousy he felt for Major Armistead was palpable and Grace was glad he wasn’t staying, for Mrs. Louisa’s sake.
“Well Major, the faster you can move your troops, the more trips you make, the safer the men here will be. I would say our country is showing a great deal of faith in you and I know it is not misplaced,” Louisa said.
“My dear, Major Rivers has friends in very high places and he is a rising star—on the political track. He holds the defense of our country in his capable and willing hands,” Major Armistead answered his wife.
Grace could tell it was a back-handed compliment.
Major Rivers smiled back at Louisa, “Oh yes, There are those who sign the treaties and those,” he looked at Major Armistead, “who defend them.”
“Well we must be getting back to our quarters, Mr. Rivers. It was a pleasure meeting you.”
“Major,” Major Armistead said.
Mrs. Louisa nodded and Grace curtsied and followed. As they walked away, Grace looked back and up at the flag again. When her eyes traveled back down she saw Mr. Rivers looking at her in that bad way. She shivered and turned around to catch up to the Major and Louisa before she became hopelessly lost in the maze of the fort’s corridors.
***
The ladies had another two hours to occupy themselves before dinner would be ready.
“Grace, do you know how to count?” Mrs. Louisa asked.
“Yes, Mrs. Louisa,” Grace nodded.
Grace knew from listening in on the lessons taught to the Ma’am’s daughter on the plantation, then from counting her stitches, and from saving her money to buy her freedom.
“Good. Let’s play Loo. Maggie, be a dear and fetch the cards from my trunk.”
Miss Maggie rummaged in the trunk and came to the table with the cards in hand. She grabbed a jar of brown beans and poured them in the center of the table.
Missus Louisa and Maggie pulled their chairs over and sat down at the table. Miss Maggie motioned for Grace to do likewise.
“Oh poor Grace, you did not know we would corrupt you,” Miss Maggie said while shaking her head then tisking gently under her breath as she shuffled the cards.
“No Ma’am,” Grace answered, not knowing what she meant.
Mrs. Louisa laughed.
“It’s a card game Grace, but the men place wagers on each hand. We just play for beans,” Miss Maggie added.
“This is what happens when you marry an officer. You learn games respectable women ought not play.”
“Oh Ma’am. You is the most respectable lady I’ve met,” Grace answered as both Miss Maggie and Mrs. Louisa laughed again.
Miss Maggie explained how to decide to bid a hand, and how to pass when the cards were bad.
The adding and play was a little slow, but Miss Maggie and Louisa were patient and did not seem to mind. Grace had never had so much fun in her life.
***
After another hour, the Major showed up and shared some of the funnier stories of things that happened during the building of the fort. One night the men had been up drinking whiskey when one of the privates fell asleep too close to the fire. He woke up when he realized the soles of his boots were on fire. The soldier did a funny dance in his long johns until he jumped into a tub of water set out for the horses. His boots hissed as the water put out the flames. Then he passed out again drunk, tipping the water tub over.
Grace laughed so hard she fell off her chair. The Major then told another story of when a General was visiting, and unfortunately the General’s horse must have eaten some bad oats. The horse kept farting loudly and then had a bad case of loose bowels right in front of all the mustered troops.
When he yelled at ease, half the troops burst out laughing and he himself had never had a harder time keeping his composure.
After dinner, Missus Louisa and the Major went back to his apartment for some private time. Miss Maggie and Grace kept playing Loo. Grace’s pile of beans was pitiful compared to the mound in front of Miss Maggie.
Miss Maggie then gathered the dishes to take down to the mess hall to be cleaned while Grace helped. As she bent to lift a bucket filled with the bowls and cutlery, Miss Maggie let out a small yelp.
“Oh, Miss Maggie are you hurt?” Grace asked.
“Just my back. Sometimes it stiffens. I’ll be fine dear.” She placed her hand on her back trying to straighten up with a grimace on her face.
Grace could see that Miss Maggie was in pain, “Let me take those down for you. Just draw for me how I should go, so’s I don’ git lost.”
“Thank you dear, it’s not far. If you get lost, just have one of the troops walk you back.”
“Yes Ma’am,” She answered as she took the bucket and map.
As Grace left the room her heart started to race. She wasn’t used to the closed in walls of the fort, everything looking the same. She looked down at the sheet Miss Maggie had given her. Left out the door, second passage way, make a right, one more right turn, end of the row, and there it was. She could hear the clanking of pots and pans and water sloshing. Steam was rolling out the door. She offered to take a pail of fresh water back, but one of the young men said he would bring it for her shortly.
She smiled and said, “Thank you,” and left to head back. Grace walked, turned and walked, and then realized she must of headed the wrong way. She’d forgotten her drawn directions in the kitchen. Grace walked to the end of the row and came out on a clearing. Some of the troops were playing a game of dice and drinking spirits. One of the men, standing slightly in shadow from the firelight, said, “You look lost Miss, lose your way?”
“Yes Sir,” she said as she looked at the ground.
“I’ll walk her back, Private,” another voice said and Major Rivers stepped into the light.
“That’s alright, I can find my own way back,” she said. Grace took two steps into the passage way she’d come out of.
“Darlin’ that’s the lo-ng way,” Major Rivers said. He reached out and grabbed her elbow. He turned to the men, “I’ll be back soon.”
That made Grace feel better. Maybe she was wrong about Major Rivers.
“Here we go. This way.” He led her down a corridor made a turn and as she passed a door on her left, the Major opened it and pushed her in. He then turned and bolted it.
Grace reached up and pulled the hatpin out of her cap and held it out so he could see it. She stumbled forward towards the door reaching for the bolt with her free hand as the Major unbuckled his belt and laid it on the back of a chair. He came up to h
er just as she slid back the bolt. He slammed it back in place and pushed her back against the wall as she slashed at him with her pin. He punched her in the ribs so hard it knocked the breath out of her. Grace dropped the pin. She doubled over, not able to breathe. She fumbled for the scissors in her pocket and pulled them out. The Major slapped them away. Grace fumbled trying to reach the other scissors strapped to her ankle. He bent her back, straight up, doubling the pain in her cracked rib and air-starved lungs. Then he got in her face.
“I’m a fighting man. I don’t mind getting rough. I know how to hurt you without leaving a mark, you understand?” He continued to speak calmly as he pulled down his pants.
“No scratching. No biting. You leave a mark on me, you pay in pain, understand?”
Grace nodded, still not able to catch her breath. And that’s when the thing that she swore would never happen to her again, did.
After, she started to cry. The Major opened the door and left.
***
Louisa, escorted by a Private on her way back from her husband’s quarters saw Major Rivers come out of a room. He nodded at her, smiled, and walked off in the other direction. Louisa heard a female crying loudly from behind the door Major Rivers had just left.
“Wait here,” she said to the young soldier who was her escort. Louisa pushed the door open, “Grace!”
Grace looked up at Missus Louisa while she pulled her skirt down and tried to get her pantaloons up at the same time. The tears and the painful pulls of her lungs for air, sent sharp pains from her cracked rib throughout her body. Grace could not control the loud sounds her shocked body insisted on releasing.
“Did Major Rivers hurt you?” Mrs. Louisa helped pull her pantaloons up.
Grace tried to catch her breath. “Never mind, Mrs. Louisa,” she cried in pain as she struggled for another breath, she shook her head, “it’s nothin.”
Grace gasped again.
“Oh dear!” Mrs. Louisa said, “He hurt you!”
Grace nodded, while she wheezed, “Nothin can be done.”
