A flush of color darkened his cheeks. “I seem to have used your shampoo by mistake this morning. It’s been bloody inconvenient, too.”
“Inconvenient? Why?”
Jay cast a quick glance at Nicky and Maureen who were talking together near the door and lowered his voice. “Because I’ve been walking around all morning half hard.” He gave her a wry look when she looked confused. “Katie, the smell of your hair drives me mad and I’ve been smelling it all day.” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He stopped abruptly and dropped his hand. “I’ve had to keep my guitar on so no one would notice. I’ve gotten a few odd looks, but it’s nothing to the reaction I’d get if they knew I was turned on by the smell of my own hair.”
There was no way she could keep from laughing. “My poor baby.” She pressed her hips against his and discovered he wasn’t kidding. “My, my. You do have a problem, don’t you?”
“Thank you for making it worse.” Despite his grumpy tone, he pressed back against her, his problem growing at an alarming rate.
“Want me to help you with that?” she murmured. “Shouldn’t take more than a minute or two.”
“Well … ” He glanced askance at Maureen and Nicky before his gaze fixed on Katie’s mouth.
Grinning, she took his hand and began leading him from the room. “Maureen,” she called. “I need Jay to help me with something for just a minute. Be right back.”
• • •
A huge yawn split Maureen’s face, one she didn’t even try to cover. “What time is it?
Katie glanced at the clock. “Almost midnight.” She giggled. “Look at you; only been married a couple of months and already going to bed early.”
If Maureen had looked any more sheepish she would have baa’d. “Actually … ”
Something in her voice caused Katie to abandon her perusal of the boxes stacked in Jay’s game room. “Actually what?” she asked.
A bright blush stained Maureen’s cheeks, making her eyes appear bluer and her hair more platinum. Upon closer inspection, Katie realized it wasn’t the blush that made Maureen seem to glow. It was as if she was lit from within. Sudden understanding dawned and Katie’s mouth fell open.
“Oh, my God,” she whispered. “You’re pregnant.”
Hesitancy battled with happiness as Maureen nodded. “Three months gone.”
“Oh, my God,” Katie repeated. “This is … this is … ” With an excited whoop, she stumbled past boxes and enveloped Maureen in a tight hug. “This is the best fucking news I’ve ever heard!”
Laughing, Maureen returned the hug and the two of them engaged in a bout of giggling, shrieking and jumping up and down. Katie calmed down enough to draw back and inspect Maureen’s face thoroughly.
“Damn, look at you! You’re even more gorgeous than usual.” She held her friend at arm’s length to get a better look. “I should have realized, but I was so caught up in moving.” A laugh shook her shoulders. “Here I thought you were just being lazy when you suggested we pack these boxes so light so we wouldn’t have to … ” She broke off with a sudden gasp. “Are you completely insane?” she bellowed. “You shouldn’t have been picking up boxes and loading them into the car and … Why the hell didn’t you say something?”
“I, um … ” Maureen’s gaze shifted over Katie’s shoulder. “I didn’t know how you’d feel about it.”
“No.” Katie held up a hand. “None of that. Don’t you spend even one minute worrying about me. I’m serious, Maur. I’m so happy for you I can’t even find words to tell you how much.”
With a relieved laugh, Maureen hugged Katie again. “Thank you, Kate! You don’t know how badly I’ve wanted to tell you. I want you to be there every step of the way with me.”
“Count on it.” After a squeeze, Katie drew back and fixed her friend with a stern look. “Now about all this moving boxes and shit.”
“I’ve been careful,” Maureen assured her. “I’ve not lifted anything I shouldn’t and I haven’t overdone. My doctor says I’m perfectly healthy and he even warned me about not getting enough exercise. So don’t worry.”
A fresh burst of happiness and wonder engulfed Katie. “Oh, my God.” She cupped Maureen’s rosy cheek in her hand. “You’re going to have a baby. I’m so bleedin’ happy for you!”
“Did you just say ‘bleedin’?’” Maureen snickered. “Ah, my little Yank friend, there’s hope for you yet.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Just as Katie was becoming acclimated to living with Jay, he left with Shadowed Knight to tour Europe. Two months after that, the band roared off to the States riding the crest of the success of their second album.
Though Jay’s absence was a near-constant ache, Katie refused to let it get her down. Her fear of being abandoned had all but vanished since Jay did, indeed, come back to her. And when he did he made it crystal clear that he’d missed her and still loved her like mad.
With so much time on their hands, Katie and Maureen devoted all their energies to their clothing line, adding maternity clothes that didn’t look like the usual pregnancy wear.
“Peter Pan collars!” Maureen huffed. “Why is it that pregnant women have to look like schoolgirls in trouble?” She bent over her sketch pad with a determined look and quickly created a flowing tunic top that could be worn before, during and after pregnancy.
Katie rifled through the selection of maternity wear Maureen had brought to the house. “These fabrics are awful, too.” She held up a blouse between her thumb and forefinger as though it were contaminated with a new strain of syphilis. “Look at this. Not just polyester, but plaid polyester.” She dropped it with a shudder. “This shit is just offensive. I can’t believe women put up with it.”
“Well, this pregnant woman isn’t going to.” Maureen held up the sketch. “What about this little number?”
“Ooh, pretty!” Katie examined the drawing. “What’s it made of?”
Maureen shrugged. “I thought maybe gauze. That would drape properly without being too bulky. And here, here and here … ” She made quick, precise marks on the neckline and the ends of the long sleeves. “This will be embroidered in some really far out shiny metallic thread.”
“I’d wear that myself,” Katie declared.
“That’s exactly what I’m going for. Maternity clothes that don’t look like maternity clothes.” Though Maureen looked pleased at Katie’s statement, a line of strain remained between her eyes.
Katie laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Maur, do you feel alright?”
“Yes, why?” But Maureen refused to meet Katie’s eyes.
“It’s just that you look … tired.” Katie tried to catch her gaze. “I’m afraid maybe you’re working too hard, or not sleeping well with Nicky away.”
“Nicky,” Maureen growled. Her grip tightened on the pencil until it snapped in two. “Oh, I’m sure I’m sleeping much better than Nicky Majors.”
“Wow.” Eyeing the broken pencil with trepidation, Katie gave Maureen’s shoulder a tentative pat. “Um, anything you want to talk about?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know!”
At the sight of tears filling Maureen’s eyes, Katie grew alarmed. “Maureen, what is it? Is it the baby? Is there something wrong?”
Maureen brushed away the tears eyes with an abrupt, angry gesture. “No, it’s not the baby, but there is something wrong.” She turned and rummaged in her handbag, emerging with a rolled up magazine in her hand and fire in her eye. “I’ve not said anything because of … well, because of Jay. But have you read this?”
Katie didn’t know which publication it was, but she shook her head. “Nah. I don’t read that shit.” While Jay was on the road, she was careful to avoid music and fan magazines. She knew exactly what he was up to when he wasn’t onstage and her imagination was vivid enough; she didn’t need verification.
Maureen took a deep breath. “Look, duck, I know you don’t believe half the stuff in these articles, but that just means the other half
must be true.” She bit her lip and unfurled the magazine. “Do you think they really … I mean, look at this.” She fumbled through the pages. “There’s an interview in here with this little tart who makes it her life’s work to sleep with every band that comes through Los Angeles. And she said … Oh, where is it?”
With a sigh, Katie plucked the magazine from Maureen’s hands. “And do you think she was telling the whole truth? You don’t think she just made up a bunch of shit to sound good so she could get her name in a magazine?” The way Maureen averted her eyes and the wash of color in her cheeks made Katie clutch the book so tight the pages crinkled. “Did she talk about Nicky?” she asked in a low voice.
“In passing.” Maureen’s voice was just above a whisper, but the hesitant tone confirmed what Katie thought.
“But most of it’s about Jay, isn’t it?”
Looking miserable, Maureen nodded. “Yes. Cor, I’m so sorry! I forgot when I brought it out. I was just … Oh, damn!”
“Stop it,” Katie scolded. “It isn’t good for you to get worked up about it. Besides, I already know, okay?”
Eyes wide with shock, Maureen stared at her. “You know? He told you?”
“No.” Katie shook her head. “But when he’s called, he’s … .I don’t know how to explain it, but he’s different. He’s harder, quieter. Just different. I’ve heard the same rumors you have and what I hear in his voice just confirms them. This girl, whoever she is,” Katie held up the magazine. “She’s not the first one he’s fucked and she’s not likely to be the last.”
“How do you stand it, Katie?”
Katie bit her lip, searching for words. “It’s just part of who he is, Maur. I’ve always known about it and I deal with it.”
Maureen shook her head. “It doesn’t bother you?”
“Sure, it bothers me. But not enough to make a federal case out of it.” She sighed. “Look, I guess it’s because I know he’ll never leave me for one of them. Those girls, they’re just objects to him; things he uses and tosses aside like tissues. They don’t have enough brain cells to form a complete thought. The only thing they use their heads for is a place to rest their ankles. No, I don’t worry about them. It’s me he loves.”
“Well, he’s got a damn funny way of showing it!” Maureen’s eyes filled with fresh tears. “They all do!”
“I think it’s because … well, I think they’re bored.”
“Bored!” Maureen looked at Katie as if she’d lost her mind.
“Hasn’t Nicky said anything to you about what it’s like? How things are?” Katie shook her head. “Jay told me he doesn’t know where he is half the time because they’re not allowed to get out of the hotel or the arena. I mean, they have hotel suites and stuff, but they can’t go out to get a hamburger or go to a record shop or anything without a crowd forming. And it’s not all fans, Maureen. Some of those people following them would like nothing better than to hurt them.” She furrowed her brow, trying to find the words to explain what she meant.
“Do you remember that time we were all talking about fantasies? I mean, I know most of us were toasted, but … Anyway, I seem to remember we all thought it didn’t have to end with thinking about it, right? Even you said so.”
“That was a long time ago!” Maureen’s mercurial temper kicked in and her eyes went from sorrowful to snapping with fire in the space of a heartbeat. “And like you said, we were high. I don’t think anyone was really serious about it.”
“I was,” Katie said quietly.
Maureen looked startled. “Did you … ?”
“No.” Katie shook her head. “Jay never really came out and said it, but I know he didn’t dig the thought of me with someone else, even if he was there, too. So I made sure to let him know he was the one I really wanted. But,” She held up a finger. “If I’d really, really wanted it, he’d have agreed. Because it’s just a fantasy come to life, nothing serious. Kind of like playtime. To me, that’s what Jay’s doing on the road, bringing some fantasies to life. That’s all.”
“That doesn’t excuse him, Katie. I can’t believe you’re defending that!”
“I’m not defending it, exactly. It’s just that they’re stir crazy and these … what did you call them? Tarts? They’ll do anything the boys tell them to do. Anything, no matter how out there it is. So they end up used as a tool to play out the guys’ fantasies, something to break the monotony. Then the band moves on to the next anonymous city and forgets all about them because there’s a new bunch of tarts to perform for them. That’s all.”
Tears slid down Maureen’s cheeks as her temper faded and she grasped Katie’s hand. “I can’t bear it, I just can’t. I keep imagining him with different girls and it drives me mad. I wonder what he — what he says to them, how he touches them, what he feels when … ”
“Stop it!” Katie’s voice was harsh. “You really will drive yourself mad if you keep that up. You have the baby to think of, Maureen, and it needs a strong mother. You can deal with Nicky any way you think is best for the two of you, but you cannot let yourself fall to pieces like this anymore!” She brandished the magazine. “And you’ve got to stop reading this trash.” She stalked across the room and dropped the offending publication into the rubbish bin. “Besides, maybe Nicky is playing Parcheesi with Walter and the road crew and not doing any of the terrible things you think.”
Maureen wiped her cheeks. “Do you think he is?”
Katie threw her hands wide. “I don’t know. Like you said, less than half of what you hear is true. Maybe none of it pertains to Nicky and he’s not doing anything like that.”
Sniffling, Maureen reached for the teapot on the coffee table and poured a cup for each of them before taking several deep breaths. “But you know Jay is.”
Katie sat down again with a sigh. “And Jay is not Nicky. In fact, when he’s on the road he’s not even Jay.” She nodded at Maureen’s skeptical look. “Believe me. You haven’t heard him and I have. But forget Jay. You need to get your mind off these stories and rumors and concentrate on something else, like these clothes.”
“You’re right.” Maureen took a deep breath. “I think we’re onto something with these maternity clothes. They could be really big.”
“I think they could.” Katie enfolded her friend in a hug. “Look, sweetie, I’m not going to tell you to forget it, because I know you can’t. But I am going to tell you that Nicky loves you like crazy. That’s what you need to focus on and not all that other stupid shit.”
Maureen returned the hug. “I’m going to try.” She drew back and touched Katie’s cheek in a soft caress. “And you do the same.”
“I already do.” She smiled, but knew no matter how many times she said it she’d never be able to make her friend understand that no matter what happened when they were apart, she loved Jay just the way he was. And if she kept telling herself that enough, maybe someday she’d really believe it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Jay Carey paced the room, his eyes on the girl as she followed his orders to disrobe. His body thrummed with the energy that had built up onstage earlier that evening, an energy that made him feel like he was connected to a high voltage electric wire, a beast intent on devouring him unless he could satiate it. Every night it built higher and higher, increasing with every note he played until he left the stage dripping with sweat and stumbling with exhaustion, but so keyed up he thought he might explode. Drugs didn’t help; he’d tried them all and they did nothing but disorient him. Sex didn’t help, not really, but at least that release would quiet the beast enough so he could get some rest.
The girl was trying to be sexy as she unbuttoned her blouse, but he wasn’t interested in sexy. He just wanted to get laid and maybe catch a couple hours of sleep before the band had to leave. With her short blonde hair and deep tan, she wasn’t his type at all, but you took what you could get with groupies. Besides, choosing a girl who was his type for these meaningless encounters was something he’d never do. Ever.
She giggled, a nervous, high-pitched sound, but hurried to comply. Her laughter grated on Jay’s ears, but he nodded, giving her a tight-lipped smile. There was no need for him to be mean to her. She was there to perform a service and she was doing the best she could. He could be mean, if he wanted to; he’d gotten very good at the whole domination thing and found it amazing the number of girls who begged him to rough them up. But not tonight; he wasn’t in the mood for it. Though the release he got from it was phenomenal, it took too much effort and he didn’t feel like bothering with it.
He repressed a sigh of dissatisfaction as the blouse came off; no, she really wasn’t his type at all. Much too big up top for his taste, but there was no rule that said he had to look at her. He circled behind her and watched as her short red skirt fell to the floor. Jay closed his eyes and ran his hands up the outside of her thighs, thinking of nothing but the feel of skin on skin. He could hear the beast roaring to hurry, needing some kind of release before he was consumed. He felt the girl lean against him and her voice broke through the turmoil in his head.
“You want me to undress you now?”
The honeyed cadence of her accent acted on him like a bucket of ice water and his eyes popped open. His hands stilled their motion, no longer feeling the touch of her skin. “What I want you to do,” Jay said, his voice quiet, but firm, “is get dressed and leave.” The beast growled with surprise, but tonight it wasn’t going to be fed.
An expression of disappointment and hurt clouded the girl’s face as she turned to face him. “Did I do something wrong?”
Jay wanted to yell at her to stop talking, but he swallowed the harsh words, knowing it wasn’t her fault. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. But you have to leave. Now,” he added, seeing her open her mouth to protest. If she spoke again, he didn’t know what he might do, but he didn’t want to find out.
In blessed silence, she dressed a hell of a lot quicker than she’d undressed, and Jay escorted her to the door. Putting his hand on her back, he all but shoved her into the hall. Hands shaking, he locked the door and put it on the chain. He leaned against the cool wood, resisting the urge to smash his head against it. The unreleased energy was still racing through him, but there was nothing he could do about it now. Damn the girl with her Southern accent, anyway.
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