“Patrick.”
She had trouble getting her lungs to restart as she peeled the envelope open. Inside it was a sheet of parchment paper, covered in Patrick’s tight, angular handwriting. And all the words were written in Spanish.
“Querida Cassandra,” it began, and Cassie’s brain got itself tangled over her heart, one organ beating too fast for the other to translate effectively. She took a breath, and started again.
Please don’t be angry that I’ve sent you this. I’m not going to repeat any of the questions I asked you in the airport. I know how much they upset you. And I wouldn’t have written at all, except for the fact that I had to, and every woman should get a love letter at some point in her life, especially when she’s celebrating a change in vocation.
She looked at Lilly. “How did he know?”
“About you leaving the firm? Jack told him.”
Cassie glanced at Gabe, who was smiling too widely to be surprised. “Who else knows about him and me?”
“We all do.”
“Nick and Brady, too?”
“Yup.”
“Carajo.” She leaned against her desk for support and kept reading.
I also needed to tell you that you were right, at least partially anyway. You were a fantasy—the ultimate escape—but you were wrong about the why. Escaping into some alternate reality wasn’t what my fantasy was. It was never about marriage and children, or being with a Latina woman, never about the amazing sex. You were my fantasy, Cassie. And I’ve never felt more connected and present than when I was with you.
I know I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you, but I did. And I never cared if we had ten babies or it was the two of us until we were old and arguing in matching rocking chairs. I wanted you, because you changed me—changed everything about me. Your fire and passion for life made me want more out of mine. And I can never thank you enough.
I’m sorry I won’t be with you while you change the world, but I couldn’t be happier for you, and I’m so proud of what you’ve accomplished. I wish you the best of luck in your career, and everything else.
Yours,
Patrick
She put the letter down, stunned. He never cared about having babies. She was his fantasy. But he didn’t want to get back together either, and this letter had dredged up too many different emotions for Cassie to process them all. She was annoyed with him for not having been clearer. Upset at herself for misunderstanding him. Touched that he’d cared enough to wish her well in her new job. Confused over the need to run to him and throw herself in his arms. Angry at the whole fucking mess.
What a goddamn pain in the ass he was, telling her this now.
The spasm of heartache gripping Cassie’s chest was interrupted by Hudson knocking at her door. She quickly tossed the letter onto her desk.
“Am I interrupting?” he asked, one haughty eyebrow raised. “Reception sent me here.”
Lilly gave Cassie a hard look, her eyes wide with the sentiment—are you okay?
Cassie nodded. If there was nothing else she’d learned in fifteen years as an attorney, it was how to bounce back when she was rattled. “You’re never interrupting, Hudson. I’m always happy when you drop by.”
The sarcasm dripping from her voice had Lilly snorting. She and Gabe walked out, and Hudson gave Lilly a once-over before grinning at Cassie.
“Festive,” he said, but he wasn’t looking at Lilly’s headband. His gaze instead was making a path down Cassie’s red sweater dress.
So predictable.
“’Tis the season,” she replied. “You look relaxed.”
No more scowl or curled shoulders on him. He perched himself on a chair and crossed one ankle over the opposite knee—the casual posture of someone who didn’t have a care in the world.
“Why shouldn’t I be? I’m not in debt anymore, and my operation is running so smoothly I might even take a vacation.”
Cassie barely resisted rolling her eyes. “Looks like you got everything you wanted.”
“And it looks like you didn’t.” He jutted his chin in the direction of her box. “Why are you packing? Did your bosses not offer you partner after all the business you brought in?”
“They did. I turned them down.”
“Another firm offered you more money, huh?”
“Nope. I’m moving into government. Well, moving back into government, actually.”
The justice she’d clerked for had pulled a few strings, put in a few good words, all the while insisting Cassie’s resume and experience spoke for itself. And now she’d been offered a chance to serve as Deputy Legal Counsel to the Governor. Instead of bringing in money-making clients, she’d be in charge of advising on legislation and implementing regulations, as well as collaborating with the Attorney General’s Office on litigation. The change meant a hefty pay cut, but at least she’d be able to live with herself.
And get to work on changing the world.
“Wow.” Hudson crossed his arms. “I guess congratulations are in order.”
She gave him the first genuine smile she’d ever had in his presence. “Thank you. Same to you.”
“So if I’m no longer your client, and you no longer work for a firm that represents my investors, does that mean we can go back to discussing that hotel up the street?”
“I haven’t turned you down enough that you’ve lost interest?”
“Hope springs eternal.”
Cassie bit off a laugh, then gave Hudson a once-over of her own. If it weren’t for the ponytail, he wasn’t a bad-looking guy—he had nice eyes, and given his attitude, he’d probably be more than willing to give her what she wanted in bed.
But he wasn’t Patrick. And even if the two of them weren’t getting back together, she wasn’t ready to move on yet.
“Actually, there’s somebody else,” she told him. “But thank you for offering.”
“If that ever changes, keep me in mind.”
He stood and started toward the door. Cassie returned to the task of sorting her files.
“You know,” he said. “When my buddy gave me your name, I had no idea what I was in for.”
She’d stopped wondering a while back how he’d had gotten her name, but finally finding out would be interesting. “What buddy is that?” she asked absentmindedly.
“Patrick Dunham.”
Cassie dropped the file she was holding. “I’m sorry—who did you say?”
“Patrick Dunham. An old friend from Princeton. He’s in publishing too.”
“Yeah, I know the name.” Her body went cold. “He sent you to me?”
“Yup. Told me to do whatever you said. He sure as hell was right.”
Cassie’s pulse raced, her fingers tingling. Patrick. Fucking Patrick had sent Hudson to her. A good old boys network had been the reason she’d been offered partner, with Hudson gift-wrapped and sent over to her as what—charity?
How could he have done that to her, especially once she’d told him how she felt about earning her own way? She’d talked to him about this case too, what the stakes were. It made her fume, knowing he’d kept this from her all this time.
Fuck his letter. She was going to give Patrick Dunham a piece of her mind.
“Hudson, I need to step out,” she said. “Good luck with everything.”
She grabbed her coat and brushed past him, throwing it on as she stormed down the hall. A simple phone call wasn’t going to suffice. She needed to look Patrick in the eye and ask him why he’d lied.
By the time the taxi got to his building, Cassie was barely able to contain her fury. Racing past the Santa ringing a bell on the street corner, she pushed through the large rotating doors and into the lobby of Dunham and Strauss Books.
“I’m here to see the VP of sales,” she said to the receptionist. “Patrick Dunham. And no I don’t have an appointment.”
The young man behind the desk looked at her strangely. “Mr. Dunham is no longer a VP, ma’am.”
“No longer a—
what?”
“Mr. Dunham is in a different department now.”
She shook her head. This was one too many surprises for one day. “Fine. Whatever. Just tell him Cassie Allbright is here and she needs to see him. Now.”
He dialed and spoke quietly, then hung up and nodded. “You can head up. Seventh floor—”
She’d already turned on her heel when he was telling her the department. Adrenaline screamed through her on the elevator ride. She was revved up, ready for a fight.
The door rolled open, and she stepped out into a hall with elevator banks. Beyond that, the floor was an open space that looked raw and unused—just some sparsely decorated cubicles and a lobby with a few chairs, as if it were an area for storage that had just been cleared out and made over. Before she could process any of that though, Patrick was walking toward her.
“I assume you got my letter?”
God, she’d forgotten how attractive he was. Hair sex-mussed, goatee trimmed, his sturdy body barely hidden beneath the confines of a sweater and dark black jeans. But what Cassie was fixated on was his arrogant smile, and the twinkle in those infuriatingly gorgeous green eyes.
“Why did you send Hudson Grant to me?” she snapped.
His mouth dropped open. He shook his head. “Seriously? After everything I wrote, that’s why you’re here?”
“I’m here because I want to know why you lied.”
“I didn’t lie.” Something cautious tightened his features, a pitch and flare of aggression and heat in his eyes. “Jesus. Did my letter mean anything to you?”
“Answer me, Patrick!”
“I sent him because I knew you’d teach him a lesson,” he yelled back.
“Oh, is that why you sent him? Because I’m such a bitch? Or was it because you didn’t think I’d be able to get a client like that on my own.”
Patrick let out a growl. “Fucking listen to me, goddamn it.” He took several steps toward her, large shoulders invading her space. “Hudson Grant is a chauvinistic pig, and I knew you’d chew him up and spit him out, in that way you’re so good at doing. I sent him to you because you’re a pain in the ass and argue better than anyone I know, and I knew you’d be the best person to whip that jackass’s company into shape.”
She wasn’t sure if she wanted to smack him or fuck him. Cassie narrowed her eyes, her breath sharp with adrenaline and lust. As much as she was ashamed to admit it, she’d missed this—the fights, the banter, the energy that charged like a live wire between them, gasoline waiting for a spark.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He sighed and pinched his eyes shut. When he opened them, they were soft, like they had been that night in Miami, checking her for injuries, full of regret.
“Because I wanted you to be proud of what you were doing. I didn’t want anything to get in the way of you making your goal. I figured hearing that Hudson had gotten your name from me would get inside your head until you believed it was some kind of welfare, instead of knowing you were right for the job.”
Oh, God. Patrick’s words were getting past the steel fortress she still kept around herself, her iron starting to crack. Her guard was up, but he knew how to take it down.
“You didn’t do it out of charity?”
“No.” He smiled a little. “Although I was looking forward to hearing how much he pissed you off.”
Cassie laughed, the anger seeping out of her, the tension broken. She glanced down at the space between them. He’d walked her backward against a wall, and she shivered with the knowledge of how easily he could overpower her, how it felt for him to take her with wild abandon.
She wanted him to do it again. Not here, but again. Soon. And if she wanted that, she owed him a few admissions of her own.
She needed to be the one to fix this now, in the hopes that they still had a shot.
“I’m sorry about what I said at the airport.”
He exhaled, his shoulders caving in slightly. “You don’t have to—”
“Yes. I do. I jumped to conclusions. I do that a lot. I always fight, it’s my instinct. You touched a nerve so I fought back when I shouldn’t have. I do that, I push people away, but I shouldn’t have pushed you.”
Hesitant, he touched his fingertips to hers. “What nerve did I hit?”
She took a breath, finding the strength to tell him the truth. “Before Florida, I found out that having kids is something I’m running out of time to do, unless I do it right now, and when we were down there together, I realized I don’t want to right now, or ever. I don’t need children to be complete.”
“What do you need?”
You.
Instead of saying it, she did what she did that first night long ago. She took him by his shirt, leaned in and kissed him. Patrick inhaled sharply before his hands claimed her hips. He drew the kiss out, slow passes of his lips over hers, nudging her into corner before he offered her a light slip of tongue.
She had to stop to catch her breath, wrapped her arms around him and held on tight. The room was spinning. Christ. No other man had made her dizzy with a kiss. Which meant it was time for another admission.
“I love you,” she said.
Patrick’s short exhalation rushed out—soft heat over her cheek.
“You do?”
“I realized it in Miami but I think I’ve known it for longer than that. I’ve known it since I met you, but I was too stubborn to say so.” Cassie tightened her grasp around him. “I love you, and I hope I’m not too much of a pain in the ass for you to still love me.”
Patrick chuckled. “You’re the perfect amount of pain in the ass, Cassie. And no, it’s not too late.”
It was like winning the lottery, or waking up on Christmas Day—the idea that she could have both a career that was satisfying, and this amazing man for her own. A man who’d changed the course of his life too, it seemed.
She glanced at the sign over his shoulder. “Foreign acquisitions? You work here now?”
“I do.” He beamed. “Seems that it’s not bad to have the last name Dunham after all. I told the board I was leaving, they asked what they could do to keep me, and here you see it. Brand new department. Just put a new team together and moved in here a few days ago.”
So she’d been right about the space. “But that means you broke the conditions of your father’s will.”
“I did.”
“But your mom—”
Patrick put a finger over her mouth, a gentle silencing. “It’s a long story, but everything with my mother is okay…ish. Or at least it’s going to be.”
He lowered his finger, grazing her chin with his thumb before taking her hand. Cassie gazed at him. He looked different—calmer, more comfortable with himself. “What made you decide to do it?”
“Someone I know reminded me what my passions were. She’s the most passionate woman I know, and she’s gonna change the world one day, so I thought it was time I tried to do the same.”
Cassie’s heart leapt into her throat. She burrowed herself against his shoulder as he nuzzled her cheek. Good lord, was it even healthy to be in love? How did people survive feeling like this?
“It’s gonna be a challenge for us to make those trips to Spain and Cuba,” she said. “Since we’ve both taken some pretty serious pay cuts.” Although she could use what she’d saved for her capital contribution on that.
Or she could buy a hundred new pairs of shoes…
“We’ll find a way.” Patrick reached one big hand around to stroke the back of her neck. “My strong spitfire of a woman. By me, you were suitably conquered.”
“Conquered?”
“Yeah. You’re the fearless girl and I’m the charging bull.”
“Is that so?”
He skimmed his nose over hers. “Toro, toro.”
She laughed. “Well you’d better stand your ground, my conquistador. Because this fearless girl is about to knock you down.”
A low growl purred out of him. Grasping her hand, he led h
er down a hall to an office half the size of the one he’d had before and closed the door. Backing her against it, his hands mapped her waist, forehead pressed to hers.
“Tell me what you want, Cassie,” he said, his breath rough and his voice shaky.
His words got stuck in her chest. In her body. Something flared, heat blooming between her thighs. “Other than for you to spread me across your desk?”
He swallowed and nodded. “Other than that.”
What did she want? It took a second to find the right words. “I want you to claim me as yours, every night and every morning, and never walk out my door again.”
“I wouldn’t mind fulfilling that fantasy.”
“Then do it, you pain in the ass.”
“Oh, I’m the pain in the ass now, am I?” Patrick grinned and palmed her bottom. “We still haven’t done that, you know.”
Cassie’s grin grew wide as he slid one finger tantalizingly over that forbidden back entrance. Oh, the things this man was going to do to her. Assuming she let him.
She twisted her fingers in his hair and skated her teeth over his neck to his ear.
“Consider that the first thing on our new fantasy list.”
31
The room was mostly dark when Patrick blinked his eyes open. Groggy, he reached around for the warm body beside him, fingertips crossing a naked stretch of skin with practiced ease. He’d stopped checking for her weeks ago, no longer needing to reassure himself she was there.
He knew she wasn’t going anywhere.
Cassie was still asleep, her gentle breaths even on the pillow next to his. He turned on his side and curled up behind her. Spooning had become his favorite way to wake up in the past month, one hand on the soft curve of Cassie’s hip, his cock growing stiffer as it pressed against her bottom in her bed.
Correction. Their bed.
Patrick’s move from his apartment to Cassie’s was one they’d both agreed upon, although the idea had been hers. They needed to consolidate, she’d said. Combine their resources. She’d acted like it was simply a sound business decision, not that she simply wanted to move in together, and he’d agreed. He liked her part of town, liked the classic Boston feel of it. And in her home, he felt his issues slipping away. He felt calmer, had stopped overthinking as much and started reading more, at home and at the office, where that banker’s lamp no longer sat. As part of his attempts to let the past go, he’d given it away. He’d even looked up Gustavo on Facebook. Sadly the old, wise gentleman had passed, but Patrick had reconnected with his children, and that was something at least.
Her Claim: Legally Bound Book 2 Page 29
