“He still likes you,” Liz whispers conspiratorially after he’s out of earshot.
I shake my head. “He has a new girlfriend.”
“They’re not mutually exclusive,” pipes in Finn. “You can have a girlfriend and also be attracted to someone else.”
Liz’s head swivels to face Finn as if it’s been yanked on a spring-loaded lever. “You mean that girl Sonja in your photography class? I knew it. I could tell she had a thing for you when she asked you how many miles you ride on your bike per we—”
“What are you talking about?” Finn interjects. His expression is utter confusion.
“You have a girlfriend,” Liz says matter-of-factly, “that would be me … and you just said you can have a girlfriend and also be attracted to someone else.”
“I said they’re not mutually exclusive,” he explains. “My mom gets People Magazine—just take a look at the cover story almost every week. And who are you even talking about?”
“The blonde girl who asked to see your zoom lens,” Liz says as her eyes narrow. “Which I’m realizing now was probably a euphemism so it’s even worse than I thought. In fact, I’m getting madder by the second that she—”
He shakes his head dismissively. “I would never hand over my zoom lens … it’s far too valuable.”
I stifle a laugh as I watch them. It’s like they’re having two different conversations. I’m not sure Finn even realizes they’re arguing.
“You seriously have no idea who I’m talking about?” Liz asks.
He shakes his head again, his expression persuasively blank.
Liz turns to me, the wind released from her sails. “It’s redonkulous. He has no clue when girls are flirting with him.”
I laugh. “You have no clue either,” I say. “That guy Greg from your bio class who wanted you to be his lab partner—”
She waves her hand, cutting me off. “I knew he wanted me. I shut that down quick and told him I have a boyfriend.” She looks at Finn and he responds with a satisfied smile.
“In evolutionary terms,” Finn says, “it makes sense that seeking out new partners is optimal because it results in more offspring. But, for me, I’ve found that having a girlfriend who makes me happy means I don’t notice other women in that way. That’s probably why I have no idea who this girl is that you’re talking about.”
Liz shakes her head and smiles at him. “You know, you’re unintentionally romantic—like Spock but with a very sweet marshmallow center.”
I laugh because Liz could almost be describing herself. She and Finn are so different but also alike. Like a Venn diagram with just the right amount of overlap.
“I have no idea what that means,” Finn replies.
She laughs and leans over to give him a kiss. “You had me at evolutionary, Finn. Just go with it. I love the way you think.”
Chapter Six
“Do I need to get dressed up?”
Alexander is in my room. We agreed to meet at my house after my shift at Jack’s Burger Shack so we can go out. Where we’re going is a surprise. Right now I’m still in my red Jack’s “Home of the Hula Burger” t-shirt and my favorite worn jeans and I don’t know what to change into.
“Just wear whatever’s comfortable. Whatever’s quick.”
He seems oddly nervous but I take note that he’s dressed fairly casually in low slung jeans and a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to reveal his strong forearms. His tall, athletic frame makes him look like a male model, but honestly he looks like one no matter what he has on—or not, I can’t help but think with a smile. There’s a reason all those girls at San Mar High used to call him the Aussie Adonis. But we must not be going anywhere fancy because he always wears a suit when we’re doing something special. He’s dressed too casual for that. “Okay,” I say, “but I smell like a giant French fry.”
He smiles and wraps his arms around me, pulling me tight against him. “I like French fries.”
I laugh as I look up into his crinkling green eyes. “At least let me take a quick shower first.”
He pulls me closer until his lips are only a breath away. “Only if I can get in the shower with you.” He smiles mischievously and his voice is low in the way that always makes me swoony.
I swallow hard. “My mom is home,” I whisper. But my words hold little conviction. My knees go seriously weak whenever Alexander talks in that husky voice of his. And the look he’s giving me right now is so hot I honestly think my bones are melting.
He kisses me—softly at first, and then like he means it, the way I love—and the kiss goes on and on until I couldn’t care less if the entire population of San Mar was right here in the room with us. All that exists when he kisses me like this is the two of us and the feel of his hands pulling me close against his body and his tongue caressing mine. When Alexander pulls away, leaving me breathless, he smiles teasingly. “Well, if your mom is home, I guess we’ll have to save this for later. I’ll wait downstairs.”
I push his arm and he chuckles before he walks out and closes the door. Was he serious? I wait for him to come back and when he doesn’t I walk into the bathroom still in a daze and smile as I strip off my clothes and step under the hot spray of the shower and let out a soft sigh. God, I love my boyfriend. I can’t help but daydream about “later” as I enjoy the feel of the water pouring over me.
After my shower I decide on a simple blue sundress that my mom once said matches my eyes and I lay out a white sweater wrap to bring along in case it gets cold. As I look in the mirror one last time to check my appearance, I touch the necklace Alexander gave me for my birthday. It’s a dainty sterling silver heart, engraved on the back with “A.R. + D.J. Always.” I haven’t taken it off since he gave it to me a few weeks ago and took me on another memorable flight around the world the night I turned nineteen. I can’t help thinking that this year will be a seminal one for us. For one year—and one year only—Alexander and I will be the same age. After this I’ll keep getting older and Alexander will stay the same.
Don’t worry about any of that for now.
I repeat this message to myself, as I have so many times before. What’s that saying about just living in the moment? The problem is, eventually the future becomes the moment, and what do you do then? I take a deep breath and push all those thoughts to the side, distracting myself by fussing with my hair a little until I settle on putting it up into a soft bun and tugging out a few golden tendrils to frame my face. Then I apply a little mascara and some lip gloss and I’m ready to go. When I walk downstairs I find Alexander standing at the kitchen island chatting with my mom and, to my surprise, Chief Stephens. I know the chief keeps telling me to call him Mark now that he’s sort of dating my mom, but I’ve known him so long as the Chief of Police that it takes an extra mental kick to remember to call him by his first name.
Alexander smiles wide when he sees me. “You look gorgeous,” he whispers in my ear in a way that makes my heart flutter as he puts his arm around me and tugs me in close.
“Hi Mark,” I say to Chief Stephens, proud of myself for not stumbling over his name. “You and my mom have plans tonight?”
“Mark stopped by to fix the doohickey that broke in the dishwasher,” my mom says. “I mentioned it to him and apparently he’s very handy.”
“I’m good with doohickeys,” Mark says wryly and my mother meets his eyes and laughs.
“Well I don’t know what it’s called,” she trills as she lightly pushes his arm.
Holy wowza. Judy Jane is being flirty. This is monumental progress on the dating front.
“You know, Mrs. Jane, you can always call on me to do any repairs you need, too,” Alexander says. I immediately step on his foot and he looks at me, his eyes flashing momentary confusion.
“But I don’t think Alexander knows a lot about dishwashers,” I say. “So thank you, Mark, for helping us.”
“My pleasure,” says Mark and then he glances over at my mom and smiles. Suddenly I feel l
ike I’m the parent watching two high school kids who are dating. It’s cute. And weird.
“Well,” I announce, feeling a little awkward, “Alexander and I are going out so I guess we’ll see you guys later. Mom, I stopped at the store on my way home from work and got you the bread you wanted. It’s in the pantry.”
“Thanks, sweetie,” she says and she comes over and gives me a hug and then she hugs Alexander too, for good measure. “Have fun tonight, kids.” She kisses us both on the cheek.
“Thanks mom,” I say. Then I call out loudly to Mark as we leave, “Have fun fixing my mom’s doohickey.” Only after the words are out of my mouth do I realize how oddly wrong and pornographic that sounds. I look over at Alexander when we get outside.
“Have fun fixing my mom’s doohickey?” he repeats back to me and we both burst out laughing.
“Now I get why you didn’t want me to offer any repairs,” he adds.
“She insists they’re not dating but did you see her touch his arm? That was definitely flirty, right?”
“Let me put it this way,” he says, “I remember the first time you touched my arm like that.”
“We’re going up on the mountain?” I ask delightedly when Alexander turns on the back road leading into Redwood Park.
“Close,” he says.
When we park and get out of the car he stands in front of me looking nervous again. “I think I should carry you in,” he says.
I shrug, “Okay.” Why get sweaty if I don’t have to?
He raises me into his arms as if it’s no more effort than lifting a pencil. “When we get close, cover your eyes.”
I smile. “Yes, sir.”
He laughs. “Do you remember the last time I carried you in here?” he asks as he begins walking down the forest path.
“Yes, but you held me like a sack of potatoes that time.”
“And your dress rode up to show off your knickers as I remember,” he laughs, “so I switched and held you like this.”
“Like the gentleman angel you are,” I say with a smile. “Are we going to the fairy ring?”
“Yes.”
“Where we first kissed,” I say with a happy sigh. “Of course I remember.”
He smiles. “How’s the baby doing? Are you comfortable?”
“Considering he’s the size of a lentil bean at this point, I think we’re doing okay.”
He chuckles. “He?”
“I’m using it as an interchangeable universal pronoun. It’s too much work to keep saying ‘he or she’ all the time. And ‘it’ just seems blatantly wrong.”
He plants a kiss on my lips. “I love you.”
“Ditto.”
He keeps walking and as we get closer to the fairy ring he seems nervous again. “Are you feeling good about us?” he asks.
“Of course,” I say, starting to get a little worried, “aren’t you?”
“Long term I mean.”
“Yes, long term. Is something wrong?”
He sets me down, facing him, when we reach the ring.
“That’s good to hear,” he says.
He rolls his shoulders, straightening his shirt, and he seems nervous. When he doesn’t say anything else I fill the silence. “Is it okay if I turn around now?”
He swallows. “Yes.”
I turn around and my hand flutters to my chest as I gasp. Alexander has decorated the fairy ring the same way he did the night of our first kiss, from the blue and white lights in the trees to the sparkling silver hearts surrounding our carved initials bathed in a sunbeam coming down from the sky. There’s a blanket laid out with a cooler, and all the memories I have of how it felt to kiss Alexander for the first time flood over me. He steps in front of me and takes my hand and I look at him with misty eyes.
“It’s beautiful,” I say softly.
“You’re beautiful,” he says as he leads me over to where our initials are carved. The sun shines down like a sentry on the remains of the redwood that helped form this beautiful ring of stately, towering trees. As I watch with amazement and emotions overflowing, Alexander bends down on one knee. And with my heart beating like a hummingbird’s wings, I listen as he begins to speak words that I know come from his heart.
“Declan, you know how much I love you,” he says as tears well up in my eyes. “I felt your goodness the first day I sat next to you in Mr. Brody’s homeroom class and you blushed. I love that you always manage to make me laugh,” he says with a smile, “when I don’t expect it, or when things are going wrong—in fact, especially when things are going wrong. And the way you smile, with your lips a little crooked in that cute way of yours, and that brilliant light in your sea-blue eyes … I once joked with you about getting lost in my eyes, when the truth is I get lost in yours every time I look in them. But your beauty on the outside, which takes my breath away every time I see you, isn’t even close to being the most beautiful thing about you. Your kindness, to everyone who crosses your path, and your compassion, and empathy … and the way you feel about your friends and how you stand by them. And even the way your power comes out when your heart’s involved. I’m looking at your aura right now and it’s so strikingly beautiful it makes my heart literally vibrate—in a good way,” he adds, and I let out a laugh with tears in my eyes, “and it reflects what’s inside you, what I’ve always seen … and felt. You’re the soul that makes mine hum and the woman I love and who I hope to be with, for this life and every life, for eternity. So Declan Jane, will you marry me? And make me the happiest guardian in the universe?”
I smile, eyes blurry with tears. “Yes,” I say, nodding and laughing and nodding some more, overwhelmed, “yes.”
He slips his hand in his pocket and slides out a ring and holds it up between his finger and thumb. It’s a beautifully intricate platinum band that splits into two at the sides to hold a large, square setting of a vivid blue topaz surrounded by an array of small, stunningly clear diamonds. “I almost forgot this,” he says with a laugh and I see his eyes filling with emotion. He holds my hand in his and slips it on my ring finger. “Inspired by your aura.”
“It’s beautiful,” I breathe as I meet his eyes, tears overflowing. He stands and I wrap my arms around him and he kisses me, ardently, and I return his kiss with all the love in my heart.
We pause and smile into each other’s eyes for what feels as though it could never be long enough, treasuring the moment. “I want you to know that I planned this, always,” Alexander says. “I just never imagined you’d get pregnant before I had a chance to ask.”
“Wait,” I say wryly, “you expect me to believe that you, Alexander Ronin, had a plan?”
He laughs. “The only thing I didn’t plan was how nervous I’d be.”
“I sensed that,” I laugh. “Until you knelt down I couldn’t figure out why. But I love that you were nervous.”
“You love that I was terrified you’d say no?”
“You can’t have thought I’d say no?”
“You’re very unpredictable, Miss Jane.”
I smile. “As are you, Mr. Ronin. You surprised me tonight. Very happily. Not asking me to get dressed up—or even telling me I should shower—was a clever ruse that left me entirely unsuspecting. Although I could have ended up smelling like French fries and Hula Burgers when you proposed, and for that I would never forgive you.”
He laughs. “It was a bold risk, I’ll grant you.”
“That being said,” I say with a smile, “I’ll marry you on two conditions.”
“And those are?”
“First, that we have a small ceremony, here, with just family and close friends.”
“My thoughts exactly. And?”
“Second, that we make love, right now, on that picnic blanket.”
He laughs out loud. “It’s like you’re reading my mind,” he says as he sweeps me into his arms and carries me over to the blanket where we do just that.
And, just like always, it’s magical, and beautiful, and too sweet to exp
ress with words.
Chapter Seven
“I have some news,” I say to Finn and Liz as we sit on the cliffs overlooking the ocean. We rode our bikes here because it’s such a beautiful day and we haven’t hung out in a while. Between work, school, and everything else we all have going on, it’s been hard to see each other as much as we used to.
“Let me guess, you walked in on your mom and the chief doing, shall we say, police maneuvers?” Liz says.
“No,” I say, pushing her arm and laughing. “Why are you so fixated on that? You kill me.”
“I don’t know,” Liz says, “I keep picturing Chief Stephens telling your mom she’s under arrest for stealing his heart and it cracks me up, what can I say?”
I look over at Finn for support but he just shakes his head. “I don’t want to think about your mom’s sex life,” he says flatly.
“Hear, hear,” I say in hearty agreement as I look at Liz who just grins at me.
“All right, all right,” she says, with her best put-upon tone, “I’ll give you a reprieve from all police-related innuendo. For now, anyway. It’s just that it’s too easy … what with how sweet and proper they both are … and then you add the uniform, the paraphernalia, the way they frisk people … the jokes are like ripe fruit, just dangling there, waiting to be picked off, one by one.” She looks at me and I smile and shake my head. “All right,” she laughs, “so what’s your news?”
I can’t hold it in anymore. My face beams as I thrust out my hand in front of both of them to show off my engagement ring.
“You got a new ring?” says Finn, looking confused and seriously underwhelmed.
“No, Finn, for God’s sake,” Liz cries out, “it’s an engagement ring. She’s getting married!” She jumps up to hug me.
“And that’s not all,” I say as I hug them both, smiling and laughing. “I’m pregnant.”
Liz freezes. “You’re joking,” she says, eyes wide.
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