by CeeCee James
“Psssh.” Miranda rounded her blue eyes all innocent-like while tucking the rest of the cookie back into her hand. “You’re getting suspicious in your old age.”
“Really. Then why is Archer licking his muzzle?”
Miranda looked at the black dog, thinking, Traitor, before she stared wide-eyed back at Jason. “I have no idea. Maybe he found some crumbs or something.”
“You never could lie well.” Scooping the pillow from the floor, he flung it back on the couch. Then he grabbed the remote and followed the pillow onto the couch, propping his feet on the coffee table. He readjusted a bit. A smile grew across his face. “You fixed the couch.”
Miranda laughed. “Yeah. I flipped the cushions all back to the way they were.”
“It’s the simple things.”
She came over with her drink and sat next to him. His eyes ran down her tan legs appreciatively.
“Jason.”
He put a nacho chip in his mouth. “What?”
“Did you know Cassie was pregnant?”
Jason started coughing.
“Are you okay?”
He waved her off and took a big drink from his soda. “What?”
“You had no idea?”
“Don’t you think I would have told you? Whoa.” He ran his hands through his dark hair, standing it on end. “How’d that happen?”
“You know how that happened.” Miranda reached over to smooth the spike atop his head.
His face flushed red. “I’m going to kill him.”
“I’m all for killing.” Miranda nodded. “But who’s ‘him’?”
Jason shot her an incredulous look, and shook his head. “I don’t know. I didn’t even know she was dating anyone.”
Miranda stood up. “Where’s her phone? We need to go through her texts.”
Jason looked confused.
She sighed. “Everyone else in the world lives on their phone. It’ll all be there. Now, where is it?”
He shrugged. “I have no idea, Miranda. Her phone was the last thing on my mind.”
Sinking back into the couch, Miranda wanted to scream. “There’s no use even calling it. It’s probably dead by now.”
Jason moved over and put his arm around her shoulder. “Maybe, but Cassie isn’t. And that’s the important thing. She's going to get better.”
“I know she is, but I still worry.”
“I heard you in the kitchen. Her accident wasn’t your fault.”
Miranda shrugged. “Way to eavesdrop on me.”
“Yeah, you little weirdo. You should bring that up to your counselor sometime. Excessive verbal berating of yourself.”
“Jason!”
“And arguing with yourself.” He spun his finger by his ear in a cuckoo gesture, then dodged the pillow she flung at his head.
“I’m kidding,” he laughed. “Seriously, I know you grew up your whole life thinking Cassie was all your responsibility, but she wasn’t. She was part mine too, after I met you guys.”
“Jason, I don’t know what I would have done without you.” She scooted over until she was curled against his side.
His arm tightened around her and pulled her closer. He kissed the top of her head. “I needed to hear that.”
“You were my best friend. I want that back.” I want more.
Jason pulled her chin up and made her look at him. His green eyes darkened. “We’re here now. We’re better.” The seconds stretched out. He slowly ran his thumb along the edge of her jaw, and he swallowed. His thumb stopped short of her bottom lip. Miranda held her breath. Please Jason….
Releasing her, he moved slightly away. “Friends forever, all that jazz.”
Miranda let out a disappointed sigh and straightened up. “BFFs, you mean.”
“Oh crap, that’s right.” He shoved another chip into his mouth. “I forgot all that junior high stuff.”
A deep, authentic laugh escaped her.
He grinned. “I’ve always loved it when you laughed like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like some old man who smokes stogies all day.”
Miranda’s mouth fell open. “I don’t laugh like an old man.”
She narrowed her eyes at him, before jumping up and plucking her sunhat off the counter.
He laughed. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going outside to mow.” She needed to do something.
“You’re going to mow.” He stared at her blankly.
Waving him off, she reached for her water bottle and walked out to the porch and down the stairs to the backyard.
“This I’ve got to see,” Jason said to Archer before walking onto the deck. He rested his plate on the railing to watch.
Miranda stalked across the yard to the barn. She pushed the heavy doors open and disappeared inside. Jason could hear her trying to start the riding lawn mower. It was an ancient beast and needed a bit of finesse. He could only get it to start by spraying starter fluid into the carburetor. He could hear her crank it over, and it sounded dry. He looked down at his dog. “Guess we need to go show her the ropes.”
He ate a few more chips as he rounded the stairs, setting the plate on the last step. Archer watched him with yearning eyes. “Forget it, dog. I’m not Miranda.”
Barefoot, Jason strode across the yard. Archer whined once at the plate before trotting after him.
“You having a little trouble in here?” he called into the barn.
“Yeah, I can’t get it to turn over.”
Jason smiled smugly as he walked in and sauntered over to his workbench for the starting fluid. His hand reached towards its spot out of habit. He paused and frowned. It wasn’t there.
“Looking for this?” Miranda held the can dangling from her fingers.
Jason frowned and snatched it from her. “What are you doing—“
She brought up a giant super-soaker and shot him straight in the chest. Jason backed up a step, startled. She gave it two more pumps, and this time sprayed him from the top of his head to his waist. He dove for her. She scampered off the back of the tractor, pumping wildly. He climbed up the tractor after her, just in time to get hit with the next blast.
“You are so dead!” he sputtered.
She pumped the gun again and pulled the trigger, but all that came out now was a light mist. Screaming, she flung the gun at him and started to run. He was right behind her. Her flip-flops caught on the edge of the door frame, and she almost fell. But, arms flailing, she righted herself. Too late. Jason caught the back of her shirt and scooped her, shrieking, over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
“Jason! Put me down!”
“Oh, I’m going to put you down, all right,” he promised, marching straight for the lake.
She poked along his back, trying to reach his sides to tickle him. “Let me go! I’m sorry!”
He squirmed from the attack of her tickling hands. “You’re about to be sorry.”
He reached the edge of the lake and strode in. The water crept up his legs, soaking his jeans. Archer barked for a moment then followed him in.
“Jason!” she shrieked one last time.
“I’d be holding my nose, if I were you.” He waded in a bit deeper, then dove forward, dragging her under the water with him.
A second later he pulled her up. She squealed like a wet cat, and laughed hysterically. “Oh, my gosh! You are so stubborn!”
“Me, stubborn?”
“I only got you a little bit wet! You soaked me!”
“I always win.” Jason gave her his crooked smile. “When will you learn that?”
She splashed some water at him and waded slowly back to the shore. He followed laughing. Archer made it to the beach a second before the two of them and shook himself dry.
Just as Miranda got to the back yard she heard her phone ringing. Crap! She’d never make it upstairs in time, but still she took off jogging for the house. Only two people had her number: her job and the hospital. Her stomach dropped. And sh
e knew which one it was.
19
Present Day
Jason reached her room and stood dripping in the doorway. “Hospital?” he asked, his sides heaving to catch his breath.
“Yeah.” Miranda punched the numbers to dial it back. “Just missed them.”
She clutched the phone to her ear. Three rings, four. Startled, she held the phone away from her ear and looked at the display. Someone was calling back, activating the call waiting. Quickly, she switched to the incoming call.
“Hello?” Miranda pushed her wet hair off her forehead.
“Hi Miranda, this is Doctor Errod. I have some good news.”
“Yes?” Miranda said, breathless.
“Cassie is showing signs of waking up.”
“I’m on my way!” Miranda hung up and spun around with a smile. “Jason!”
Archer barked at the excitement.
He cupped his hand over his ear. “Whoa! I’m right here.”
“Sorry.” She clamped her hand over her mouth for a second before blurting, “Cassie’s waking up!”
Jason slumped against the door frame with a big smile. He looked over at Miranda. “Get some dry clothes on and let’s get going.”
“Get out! Get out!” Miranda yelled, before flying around the room trying to find her jeans. Jason whistled for Archer, and shut the door.
A few minutes later they were at Jason’s truck. Miranda moved a small wood carving from the seat before she climbed in. “What’s this?” she asked, setting it in the console.
He glanced at it as he started the truck. Throwing it into reverse he answered, “Nothing. Just whittling at something.”
She looked at it curiously. It was in the shape of a bird, it’s wings barely defined but outstretched in flight.
Jason unrolled the window and Miranda’s hair whipped around her face. She pulled it into a ponytail while he turned on the radio.
“I’m nervous, Jason.”
He shifted the truck, then reached for her hand. “Why?” His thumb caressed it.
“I can’t explain it. It feels like facing a failure.” She chewed on her fingernail. “What if she hates me?”
“She doesn’t hate you. Besides, I thought you guys have been texting all these months.”
“Yeah, well, if she lied about so much, she probably lied in her texts, too.”
Jason squeezed her hand and held it resting against his leg. A warm wave rose at his touch, and calmed her. “We’ll get through this,” he said.
“The only thing important is getting Cassie through this. She still doesn’t know about the baby.”
Jason’s lips narrowed and he released her hand. “That makes me furious. I want to kill him.” He slammed the steering wheel with his palm.
“She’s eighteen, Jason, not some little girl.”
“Say what you want, but she’ll always be that girl in pigtails to me.”
“I wonder where she was headed that night. Maybe to meet with him?”
“Will you quit talking about it?”
“What if he’s a good guy? Maybe he doesn’t know what happened to her.”
“Or maybe he’s hiding now like some sniveling little coward.”
Miranda sucked in her breath. “I wonder if he has her phone.”
“So does that mean he was with her that night? In the car even?”
“Do we know for sure Cassie was even driving?”
Jason swore. “You trying to get us killed here? I’m about to seriously freak out.”
“All right, calm down. I’ll check into the police report.”
Reaching for the radio, Jason clicked the ’80s hard rock station. He cranked the volume until the bass vibrated Miranda’s teeth.
The first levels of the hospital parking lot were full, with only a few empty stalls left on the garage roof.
Several minutes later they were outside Cassie’s room.
“You ready?” Jason asked with his hand on the door. Miranda nodded.
The room was quieter than normal when they walked in. Miranda slowly pushed back the curtain concealing Cassie’s bed.
Cassie’s eyes were closed as though she were still sleeping. An unexpected pang of disappointment reverberated through Miranda. What were you thinking? she scolded herself. She’d be in here playing solitaire?
“Hi Chickee.” Miranda scooped up her sister’s hand and gave it three soft squeezes. “How are you doing today?”
Cassie’s hands twitched inside her own. Miranda gasped. “She moved her hand!”
Jason grinned as he grabbed the other one. “Hey, princess. I hear you’re feeling not so sleepy.”
Cassie took a deep breath at his voice. Miranda froze to watch for more movement, then rubbed her sister’s hand like she was trying to start a fire. “Can you hear me? Cassie?”
Her sister cracked her eyes, watery and unfocused.
“Hi, baby girl. It’s me, your Sis.” Miranda couldn’t keep the sob out of the last word.
Cassie stared up at her sister, then closed her eyes again. She opened them, and her lips tried to form a word.
“Oh, Chickee, your lips are so dry.” Miranda grabbed one of the pink mouth sponges from the table and dipped it into the glass of water, before dabbing her sister’s mouth.
Cassie’s eyes fell shut again. Clearing his throat, Jason jiggled her other hand. “Hey, don’t forget you owe me fifty bucks,” he joked. “I’m not letting you off the hook.”
Her blue eyes opened again focused on Miranda. Her mouth moved silently. Miranda leaned down to hear. “What is it?”
“Leave.”
Miranda sat back as though slapped. She looked at Jason in shock. He stared back at her, looking stunned himself.
“Cassie, you don’t mean that. Do you want me to go?”
Her sister’s mouthed it again, a little weaker this time, “Leave.”
Miranda’s eyes filled with tears. “I love you, Cassie. I’m so sorry.” She kissed her sister’s hand, then turned and stumbled out of the room.
A nurse came running over as Miranda tried to wipe her face. “Have you been in there to see her?” she asked, with a wide smile. “She had her eyes open earlier.”
Miranda nodded.
The nurse patted Miranda’s arm. “Overwhelming, isn’t it?”
Miranda’s lip quivered and she pressed them together. Unable to speak, she nodded again.
The door opened then, and Jason came out. His eyes softened when he saw her. “Come here.” He grabbed her in his arms.
“I knew this was going to happen. I knew it.” Miranda’s control broke and she cried on his shoulder. He rocked her slowly.
“It’s going to be okay.”
“How is this ever going to be okay?” Miranda pushed away from him. He dropped his hands as his face flickered with hurt. “What am I supposed to do now?”
“I’ll give you my truck keys. You can head home and I’ll catch a ride later.”
“You’re staying here? What are you, playing both sides?”
Jason’s eyebrows flew up. “You better be careful what you’re saying.”
Miranda covered her face with her hands. “Just leave me alone. Go be her savior.”
“I’m nobody’s savior, Miranda. I’m just trying to be here for her. Why don’t you think of someone else besides yourself?”
“This is why I felt like I could never come back. This moment right here. What I did was unforgivable.”
He sighed. “Maybe you need to worry about forgiving yourself, and take the pressure off the rest of us to make you feel better. I’m going back in there. I can’t deal with this right now.” He pulled his keys from his pocket and pushed them into her hand. Then, yanking the door open, he closed it firmly behind him.
Miranda could hardly see when she climbed into the truck. She didn’t bother to wipe the tears as she drove. Jason’s words were ringing in her head.
She slammed her fist on the steering wheel. It’s true! Oh my gosh, it’s
true! All of her worries, her need to be forgiven, even the shame she felt, it was all about her.
She pulled over at a gas station and grabbed the phone from her purse. Pulling up Jason’s number, she texted.
- I’m sorry. I was wrong.
She sent it, then dropped her head against the headrest. A horn honked behind her. Miranda jerked upright and glanced in her rearview mirror. A truck idled behind her, blocked from getting to the pump. “I’m sorry,” she yelled, and waved out the window, before pulling ahead into a parking stall. After a moment, she glanced at the phone. Still no response. Please Jason, please just read the text. She rifled through her purse for a tissue. Finding a crumpled one, she scrubbed at the tears on her face.
She grabbed the phone again.
Relief or fear flashed through her, she couldn’t tell which, when she saw that he read it. Then:
-It’s okay. I’m sorry too.
She started tearing up again. Quickly she texted back. - No! You were totally right! I’m an idiot
- only when you feed my dog
- thanks for being there for her
- It’s going to be okay. Give her time
- Jason
- ?
- you’re my best friend.
- mine too
She smiled as she read the last text, and wiped at her cheeks. I’m going to work at being so good to him he’ll never regret letting me in again. That wall is coming down.
20
Present Day
Jason called from the hospital after work, to let Miranda know he was on his way home.
“Did Cassie mention me?” Miranda asked, pacing the length of her bedroom.
She heard a deep exhale on the other end. “No. I’m sorry.”
There were a few beats of awkward silence as both of them struggled with what to say next. It had been a hard couple of days.
Miranda closed her eyes tightly. “Yeah, sure. I get it.”
“Give it time. She’ll come around, I know it.”
She nodded, then realized he couldn’t see her. “She’s getting better. That’s all that matters.”
“Okay, well I’m getting pizza. I’ll be home soon.”
She hung up and tossed the phone on her bed, before studying herself in the mirror over her dresser. Then, she blew out a big breath. It was time to get ready.
