by CeeCee James
“Okay—”
“I mean, after all, what guy wouldn’t want to walk in and see his girlfriend laughing with an old boyfriend?”
She shook her head in protest. “It wasn’t like that.”
Jason’s eyes narrowed. “Oh yeah? His hand was resting on the back of your chair.”
His hand had been on my chair? Miranda hadn’t noticed. Her face filled with heat—half embarrassed, half irritated. “I heard you two had already met.” She straightened her shoulders, watching him. “He said he’d shown up here a few days ago.”
Jason stared at her, his jaw clenching.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He tilted his head back with a look of incredulousness. “Wow. So, I’m the bad guy? Whatever. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize he was so important to you. “ He scoffed. “Especially since you’ve never mentioned his name before.”
Miranda briefly closed her eyes. “There was nothing to mention. He’s someone I met when I lived in Seattle. It was no big deal.”
“No big deal, huh? That’s not how he described it.”
“Why do I feel like I’m caught between two dogs having a peeing contest?”
Hurt flashed across his face. “Peeing contest, huh? Then why do you care that I didn’t let you know he came by?”
“I care because you’re acting so weird about it right now.”
He shoved his chair back and stood.
“Where are you going?”
“Out to the porch. I need some fresh air.”
“But we’re talking.”
He exhaled deeply. “So follow me.”
Jason walked out the back door and dropped heavily into the swing causing the springs to protest. Miranda followed, her thoughts racing to make sense of his reaction. She settled on the cushion next to him and pulled her feet up under her. “Jason, I’m not your enemy.”
“I know that.”
“Okay. I wanted to remind you because it feels like you’re getting defensive.”
“So, tell me about Dylan. Did you date him?” Slowly, he rocked the swing.
“I guess I should have told you. I never expected to see him again, and you know how I wanted to forget everything about Seattle. Yeah, he’s an old friend. I guess you could say we dated.” Her blue eyes caught Jason’s. “Briefly. He wasn’t my type.”
“I find it hard to believe that someone you describe as a friend, who’s also rich and good looking, wasn’t your type. What is he? A secret axe murder? Does inappropriate things with.…?”
Miranda groaned. “He’s just wasn’t, okay? I don’t like guys who think money is the answer to everything. There’s more to life than that.”
“That’s good, since I don’t have a trust fund.”
“You don’t have the snobby attitude either.”
“Yeah, he did seem like a pretentious jerkwad.”
Miranda laughed. “He can be.”
Jason slid a bit closer to her. “Guys like me don’t get to have girls like you.”
She climbed into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, his soft hair tickling her skin. “I could say the same thing about a girl like me. You’re awesome, and I love you.”
He rested his forehead in the warm crook of her neck. “I love you too. I don’t want to lose you.”
“Jason!” She pushed his head back. “Why are you talking crazy like this? You aren’t ever going to lose me. I’m sticking to you like a burr on a dog’s butt.”
He rolled his eyes and snorted. “Really? That’s your best romantic analogy?”
Miranda shrugged. “Hey, I can’t have it all. Too much perfection and, boom, the earth tilts off its axis.”
“This is the romantic language I speak.” He tipped her head against his arm and settled his lips firmly on hers. His kisses became more insistent as his hand ran down the length of her back and cupped her hip. His lips trailed along her neck and back up to her ear.
“I think I need more language lessons,” she whispered and directed him back to her mouth.
The front door slammed. “Honey! I’m home!” Cassie yelled as she clomped though the living room. The sliding glass door opened and she peeked out.
Jason pulled away from the embrace with a groan. “Hi, Cassie.”
“Hi yourself.” She wriggled into the spot that Miranda had vacated and cuddled against her sister’s shoulder. “Aww, isn’t this cozy?”
Jason leaned forward to see for himself that Cassie was there to stay, before flopping his head back.
“Don’t you want to go inside and relax, maybe watch some TV?” Miranda suggested.
“Geez. Sounds like you’re trying to get rid of me.” Cassie poked out her bottom lip.
Miranda nudged her with her toe. “You could go order pizza delivery. Use my credit card.”
“Fair enough.” Cassie jumped up.
“My purse is on the counter.”
Cassie smirked. “Puh-lease, I have that number memorized.” She strolled inside, shutting the door behind her.
Five seconds later they heard her give a squeal. She flung open the door. “Lady GaGa and Taylor Kinney just got engaged!”
Jason made a fake shocked face.
“Cassie and her celebrity gossip sites.” Miranda smiled.
“Shut up! I’m so excited! Can you imagine the pretty babies they’re going to make?” She grinned again before slamming the door.
“Remember when she was little and we could give her a dose of Benadryl to get her to go to sleep?”
“Jason! Shut up. We did not.” Miranda laughed and snuggled into his t-shirt, breathing in a mixture of fabric softener and grease.
“No? Maybe it was just me.” His green eyes twinkled at her as he broke into a grin.
“You’re so weird.”
“Ahh, but I’m comfortable with my weirdness. And at least I don’t have an old man laugh.” He moved his hand until it rested lightly on her waist.
Miranda tensed, suddenly feeling trapped in a precarious position. “Jason, don’t do it.”
“What?” His voice rose innocently, tapping his finger against her rib.
“Jason! Don’t you do that! I’ll—”
“You’ll what?” He took the bait and ran his fingers up and down her side.
Laughter burst out of her and she snorted.
“Yeah, whatcha going to do, huh?” He found a particularly ticklish spot. “Who’s the boss?”
“I swear I’ll bake you cookies again!”
Jason released her and propped her back up into a sitting position.
“Oh, it’s on.” Miranda said, springing away from him. “I know where you sleep at night.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered sexily. “Forgive me?”
Her heart thumped as the sound of his voice zinged through her. “Dang, you’re cute. It’s not even fair.” Her fingers trailed down the side of his face. “Show me how sorry you are.”
“Gladly.” With a grin, he pulled her back onto his lap.
Cassie slid the door open. “Sorry for bugging you guys again.” She glanced at Miranda wrapped in Jason’s arms. “Yuck. You have no idea how sorry I am. Anyway, your phone is going off like crazy, and I’m pretty sure you’ve gotten like a thousand texts.”
“What?” Miranda’s forehead creased. “Bring it here.”
“Umm.” Cassie darted a look at Jason. “Maybe you should come here.”
Why? she mouthed. Dylan?
Her sister’s eyes grew wide and she nodded.
“Just bring it here. It’s fine.”
Cassie handed her the cell phone, before returning inside. Miranda opened the first text.
Jason tensed next to her.
“Don’t worry.” She flashed a smile at him and patted his knee.
“He adopted a cat from the shelter.” Her mouth dropped open. “I guess he talked Dr. Denton into keeping him at the dental office!” She showed him the picture of the long-haired calico cat.
Jason gave a
small nod and raised his eyebrows. “Neat,” he deadpanned.
“So freaking cute,” she squealed, scrolling through more pictures. “Cassie, come see! We have an office cat!” Miranda sprung up from his lap and whipped through the door.
Jason scratched his chin and sighed. Just that fast and she was gone. Out in the dark lake water, the two swans paddled together. There’d been a pair of swans in that lake for as long as he could remember. The first time Miranda had seen them her face flushed with excitement. Her sixteen-year-old voice rang in his head, “Did you know swans partner for life? You’re my swan, Jason.” Leaning back, he stared at the stars and rubbed his chest, trying to rid himself of the uneasy feeling his life was about to fly apart.
10
Summer
“Come on, ol’boy,” Jason called. Archer jumped out of the truck and led the way to the river, his tail wagging happily. Jason followed, his tackle box bumping against his leg as he meandered down the worn path.
Dark thunderheads brooded across the horizon, and the temperature quickly dropped. He was glad he’d worn his flannel shirt.
Archer took off through the bushes, excited and sniffing at the scent trail of some random animal. Jason cast the fishing line into the river and settled back against a driftwood log. The nylon silk floated lazily on top of the water before disappearing into its green depths. He cracked his neck, releasing tension, then slowly wound the line until it was taut. With a deep sigh, he pulled the brim of his hat down over his eyes.
He was alone in his getaway place to try and figure things out. All he could think about was Miranda. She wants to know what’s wrong with me. I can’t get her to understand.
Who could understand him? He sure as hell couldn’t understand himself. All he knew was that Miranda had gotten the bottom of the barrel when she’d settled for him. He knew he’d only drag her down in the end. Like he’d always done.
Since he first met her, didn’t he have boundaries? He’d known better than to tangle with her. “We’re only friends,” he’d told her again and again. Except they weren’t. Not now, not ever.
And now her old boyfriend was back in town.
His emotions trembled inside of him. He heaved another breath and licked his lip.
Sometimes a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.
Miranda had come home late from work one night last week. When she had walked through the door, he’d seen the guilt written all over her face. After patiently working it out from her, it turned out there’d been another Olive Garden meal.
She’d couched it as a ‘company meeting’. “Everyone was there,” she hedged.
“You mean Dylan?” Jason accused.
“Yes, him too. Don’t be mad at me, Jason.” Her eyes filled with worry as she looked at him.
“I’m not mad.” His insides twisted and rolled. “Just can’t help but wonder how long it takes to sell an X-ray machine. Kind of suspicious.”
She sniffed, and rummaged in her purse for a tissue. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying he’s here for you.”
She shook her head in denial. “He’s always in Dr. Denton’s office. They’re updating all of our equipment.”
Jason unlaced his work boots and yanked them off, taking a moment to gather his thoughts together. “Why are you so afraid to tell me then?” he asked finally.
“You’ve been scaring me lately. I feel like you’re pulling away from me.” Miranda bit her thumb nail as she studied him. “Is this over the cat, somehow?”
His eyes softened as he looked at her. “No, hun. This isn’t over the office cat.”
“So there is something going on then.”
Jason didn’t answer, instead he shoved a tortilla chip into his mouth. “I made dinner.” He jabbed his thumb at the platters of taco fixings on the counter.
“Thanks. Maybe later.”
“You’re losing weight,” he mentioned.
“It’s nothing. I think it’s all the hikes I’ve been doing lately.” She glanced up hesitantly. “How’s your work going?”
“Great. Jumping through hoops so I don’t get laid off. The garage owner’s going through a divorce, so we’ve all been affected,” he said with a wry grin.
She wandered over to the couch and sat, propping her feet on the arm.
“I guess it would help if I knew you weren’t going to see that jerkwad again,” he mumbled.
“I keep telling you I can’t help seeing him.”
“Yeah, but you’re acting so guilty about it. That’s why I’m worried.”
“Exactly what are you worried about?”
“He’s rich. He’s got a nice car. I can see the attraction.” He cleared his throat before continuing. “He’s a better match.”
“He’s got nothing I want.” Miranda rolled her eyes. “And we’ve already been over this. A few times. It’s getting Real. Old.”
“Yeah, it is.” Jason’s eyes hardened. “I need some honesty. Maybe you need some time to be honest with yourself.”
“What are you talking about? You’re the one freaking out over a work friend.”
““Yeah, right. Friends!” He air quoted the word friends and darted his eyes away from her.
Miranda’s mouth dropped open. “What’s that supposed to mean, Jason?”
His nostrils flared. “I just find it highly suspect that this guy you used to date is suddenly your best friend at work.”
Miranda walked over and pointed at his chest. “You. Are. My best friend. Act like it.”
* * *
They hadn’t talked any more that night, each of them stalking off to their separate corners to lick their wounds. The last week had been rocky. Jason could feel a distance growing between them day by day. Guilt was building inside of himself. You grabbed her at a vulnerable time. Took advantage of her. You broke the rules, the boundary.
It had been haunting him all week.
He thought about Dylan. That scumbag. But the kid had it together. Unlike Jason, who only had a GED, Dylan had a college education. And a trust fund.
Don’t you remember when Miranda had the tiniest bit of freedom, she’d hightailed it to Seattle? She had a life there, you idiot. A life with Dylan. She only came back because of her sister’s car accident.
If you had left her alone you know she would have gone back to him.
Just like the football player before him, Dylan was the type of guy in Miranda’s league. Someone successful and exciting. A man who could sweep her off her feet with expensive cars and trips to foreign countries.
What could he offer Miranda? Free brake jobs for life? Always struggling to make ends meet? Cheap restaurants instead of exotic vacations?
Maybe I could super-size her fries. His mouth turned up in a sarcastic grin.
Archer wandered back and lay down next to him. “You’re a good dog, ol'boy.” Sighing, he tugged on the fishing pole, moving the hook through the water. Still no bites.
I’ve taken care of Miranda from the moment met. Haven’t I always done what I thought was best for her? Even when she kicked and screamed. A hint of a smile crossed his lips. He’d always stood his ground if he believed he was putting her first. Jason’s gaze followed the shadows of the trees rippling on the water.
What was best for her now?
11
Summer
Jason’s truck gave a death rattle as he parked it in front of the bar. Slowly, he climbed out. He beat his hands over his front pockets searching for his wallet, before diving back into the cab and retrieving it from the cup holder.
The Old Third Tavern flashed its red neon light. The “h” fluorescent tube flickered off, and he gave a wry grin at the half-lit word.
The tavern was almost empty at this time of night, but rapidly filling as the workday ended. When Jason entered, his friend, Doug, was already seated at the bar. He meandered over, ignoring the hot stares from a couple of women in a back corner booth.
“Hey,” Jason said, sliding on
to the worn bar stool. He hung his head and ran his fingers through his hair, dirty from a long day at the garage.
Doug nudged over one of the two bottles sitting in front of him. “You look beat.”
“Thanks.” Jason acknowledged the beer. “Oh man. My life’s gone to hell.”
“So, what’s going on?”
Jason rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “Miranda.”
Doug took a swig of his beer and nodded to the bartender bringing over a bowl of peanuts. “I hear ya. My old lady and I got into it last night. What’s going on with you guys?”
Jason shook his head. “It’s worse than that. I’m taking a break.”
“You’re kidding?” The silence grew between them as Doug tried to digest his words. “Man, are you sure? I mean, give it some time. Things’ll settle down.”
“It’s not that. It’s this new guy she works with. She has a history with him.”
“Well, she sure has a history with you,” Doug pointed out.
Jason nodded as he glanced down, his forehead creasing.
Doug glanced at him sideways. “You think she’s into him?”
“I don’t think she will be, as long as I’m around. That’s why I’m taking off.”
“What?” Doug banged the bottle on the bar and blasted him with an incredulous stare. “You’re just giving her up without a fight? That doesn’t sound like the Jason I know.”
“You don’t get it. It’s like I’m hanging on to her like she’s my security blanket. Dragging her down. It’s selfish.”
Doug frowned and fiddled with a peanut. He cracked the shell before throwing it back in the bowl. “How is leaving a good thing?”
Jason spun his beer around on the coaster. “It probably won’t be at first. Miranda’s going to be hurt. And pissed. But in the end, Dylan’s the better man for her. She deserves to be taken care of. He’s got the money to do that.”
Doug took a sip from the bottle and replied, “She seems like she’s doing all right to me.”
“Yeah, well she deserves better than all right. The thing is, ever since we were kids she always talked about how she wanted to travel the world. Even now, she carries this crazy list of top places she has to visit in the state. This is her dream. I’m never going to be able to give her what she wants. And I know her. She won’t leave me as long as I’m around. I’ve got to do this for her.”
