by CeeCee James
He couldn’t resist one more look.
Miranda was now in the bakery section, inspecting a box of doughnuts.
Jason smiled. She’s okay. She’s doing good. Slowly, he circled the cart back in the other direction. He grabbed a box of sandwich bags and some peanut butter on his way to the check out.
Five minutes later, Jason left the store and searched for his vehicle. There it was, big ol' Rusty. Tossing the bags in the back, he jumped in the front seat. He pumped the gas a few times as he started it. “Come on, you’ve got this.” It roared to life, and a look of satisfaction filled his face.
He’d reclaimed the truck from his friend’s storage, leaving the Porsche there for the time being. “She’s fast and sleek, but otherwise she’s got nothing on you.” He thumped the dash with the palm of his hand and threw the truck in reverse.
Jason stepped on the gas, and the truck rumbled around the corner. He couldn’t believe he’d bumped into Miranda. Man, she’s beautiful. I’m never going to get over that woman. He cringed at the memory of their last time together. I don’t think I could’ve screwed that up more if I tried. Did I really call her job menial? I owe her an apology for that.
Should he text her?
Maybe he could, just to find out how Archer was doing.
That’d be okay, maybe.
Jason glanced in his rearview mirror—nobody behind him—and pulled to the curb. His thumb automatically scrolled through his list of contacts and hovered over Miranda’s name.
Who do you think you are, that you have the right to go barging back into her life? His mother’s voice again, out of the blue. He sighed and stared out the window.
Blake, one of the kids registered at the resource center, rolled on his skateboard down the sidewalk. The teen skidded to a stop and leaned in the open passenger window. “What are you doing?”
“Getting some food for the hungry savages. You hungry?”
Blake grinned and said, “Yeah, always hungry.”
“Get in here if you want a ride.” Jason slid his cell phone into his front pocket as Blake cranked open the door and slammed it shut behind him.
* * *
When Miranda exited the store a happy sound rose out of her throat as the sunshine warmed her skin. “What a freaking beautiful day,” she whispered. Lovely, talking to myself in public now.
She stopped the grocery cart outside her Jeep and popped the hatch. Wrapping the plastic handle around her fingers, she hauled a bag out of the cart. Her stomach flipped over at the familiar rumbling sound of an engine. “That totally sounds like Jason’s truck.” Grimacing, she tossed in another bag and slammed the hatch. “I freaking can’t believe it. Somebody bought his truck.”
She returned the cart and jumped into her Jeep. At the “T” she headed the opposite way. Don’t want to see it.
The memory of the way he’d treated her at the car dealership still filled her with shame. Tears pricked her eyes. Probably has a new girl. Someone glamorous. She looked down at her clothes—boring office attire she quickly threw on after her jog with Archer on the beach that morning—and shriveled inside. Then she straightened her shoulders. You have to knock this off and pull yourself out of this pity party. Cassie’s waiting to get the Christmas tree decorated.
Ten minutes later she bumped down the driveway. Archer ran over to the Jeep as she parked. “Hi, ol’boy. Did Cassie get the ornaments down yet? Huh? Huh?” Each huh was punctuated by the dog’s enthusiastic butt wiggle. He let out a sharp bark.
“Cassie!” she yelled as she walked in. “Tell me you’ve been up to the loft.”
“Been there, done that. Boring.” Cassie slid around the corner looking sweaty and frazzled.
“Er, you have a little bit of—” Miranda pointed to her hair.
Cassie plucked out a pink piece of insulation and stared at her sister, nonplussed. “You’re putting away the decorations after Christmas, just so you know.”
Waggling a box of candy canes, Miranda asked, “Who want’s a Scooby snack?”
“What do you think I am? Six?” Cassie snatched the box and immediately unwrapped one. Sucking on it, she continued. “You can’t bribe me.”
Miranda turned to put the rest of the groceries away before her sister could see her smile.
“So, you going to help me decorate, or what?” Cassie asked. They’d gotten the tree last week, and were too exhausted after setting it up to decorate it.
“Mmmhm.” Miranda hummed and walked into the living room. She stopped short at the doorway. “What the heck happened in here?”
The room was strewn with overflowing boxes and tangled balls of lights.
“The North Pole threw up in our living room, what do you think happened?” Cassie rolled her eyes.
Miranda pursed her lips before marching over to snag a strand of lights. “Okay, smarty pants, let’s get going.”
Together they untangled the string and slowly circled the tree.
“Do you remember when we used to hang tinsel?” Cassie asked balancing on her tiptoes.
Miranda frowned. The last time they’d used tinsel, Cassie had been four or five. “Yes, and it was a nightmare to clean. How in the world do you remember tinsel?”
“Easy, I’d always sneak a handful and take it to my room and barrette it in my hair. I wanted to look just like Pink.”
“You goofy girl.” Miranda cracked a smile. She removed an ornament from the box and hung it on the tree. “I actually remember you doing that. We had a picture somewhere.”
The sisters grinned at each other.
“You excited to see Leif?” He had phoned Cassie to let her know he would be on leave soon. Miranda swore Cassie’s feet hadn’t touched the ground since.
“Yes.” Her sister’s cheeks filled with color. “It’s just sad he won’t be here for Christmas. It’s going to be weird not having Jason here,” Cassie added.
Miranda sighed. “Not helping.”
After a minute Cassie pounced on a box. “Aha! You do remember these, don’t you?” She lifted a gingerbread head laced with red ribbon.
Miranda snorted. “Tell me you didn’t save those.” She took it from Cassie, and ran her finger over it before handing it back. “Aww, poor thing. Missing a body.”
“You made a whole set from that weird applesauce cinnamon dough.”
“It was suppose to smell good,” Miranda said glumly.
“Oh, it did. So good that Archer ate the bodies off of every one.”
Miranda threw an annoyed look at her sister as Cassie laughed over the visual of macabre heads hanging all over the tree. “Give me that back.”
“No,” Cassie yanked it away and ran to the front. “It goes right here. High enough to be safe from Archer and displayed with pride.”
Her phone dinged and a surge of excitement flew through her. Jason? She scrambled to get it, her heart immediately sinking as she read it. It was from Dylan —Just wanted to tell you Merry Christmas. Maybe we can talk soon?
Miranda powered it off, and slouched back on the couch.
Christmas music played in the background. Miranda watched her sister hang the remaining ornaments. Cassie pulled a sparkling pinecone from the box. “Remember when the three of us made these last—” She trailed off at her sister’s stare. “Sorry.” She hurried around to the other side of the tree and hung the ornament.
Miranda felt a tear tremble on her eyelid and wiped it away with her finger. A desperate voice rose inside of her. Text. Him. The longing she felt was overwhelming.
Maybe, just maybe I could get through to him this time.
29
Winter
Miranda’s palms were sweaty when she arrived at the restaurant. The waitress guided her to a table that overlooked the street. She slid out her phone to check the time, then, on spur of the moment, sent a text. —I’m here.
Scrolling up, she reread the text she’d received from Jason on Christmas Day.
—It’s early, and I’m laying here under the tree think
ing about you. I owe you a big apology. Let me make a fresh start for the new year?
Her lips trembled as she read it, and she quickly pressed them together. Closing her eyes, she tried to curb the hope that had been building over the last few days. Don’t go there. He’s changed, remember? Let him apologize and get on with his new life.
Sighing, she dropped the phone back into her purse. The waitress came over and Miranda ordered two coffees.
“Cream and sugar?”
“Yes, please.” Miranda watched her walk away, then stared out the window. An elderly couple exited the hair salon across the street, the woman tying a scarf around her hair to protect it from the winter wind. Passing in front of the window, a mom jogged by, pushing a three-wheeled stroller. She zigzagged around a young man in a ratty white t-shirt. His hair was long and scruffy and falling over his forehead.
Her heart stopped.
It was Jason.
He glanced down at his phone as he walked around the corner. Then the door dinged and he came in, slowly scanning the room for her. Jason’s eyes lit up when he finally spotted her, and her heart about flew into her throat.
Jason lifted his hand as he walked over. “Hey there, beautiful,” he said, giving an adorable crooked smile.
Miranda’s mouth went dry. “Long time no see. How are you doing?”
He pushed the hair off his forehead with grease-stained fingers and sat down. “I’m good. Busy.”
“Yeah? Well,” she cleared her throat. “You look good. Different.”
He smiled and flipped a sugar packet around in his fingers. “Thanks for meeting with me. I owe you an apology. I could have said it in a text, but I really wanted to do it in person. I—”
The waitress appeared with mugs and a steaming pot of coffee. After pouring the cups, she pulled out her pad. “So what can I get you two?”
“Oh, this is fine,” Miranda said and looked over at Jason. “You want anything?”
“No, I’m good.”
“What? No pecan pie? I’ve got some of the best back there.” The waitress jerked her pen towards the counter. “Okay, if you’re sure,” she said in response to their shaking heads.
“Just when I was on a roll,” Jason moaned and Miranda laughed. He smiled at her. “You know, Miranda, you were right when you said I’d changed. I wanted to make you proud of me. Wanted to be someone who deserved you.” He held up his hand to stop her from protesting. “I know I went about it wrong. I’m just not made to be a rich person I guess. But the thing is, I never felt good enough. So for a few weeks there, I felt on top of the world.”
“Yeah but you acted like a jerkwad.”
His eyes squinted. “Ouch, that hurts.”
“You were worse than Dylan.”
“Wow, Miranda, you’re out for blood today.” He smiled again, showing his crooked tooth. “But I deserved that. I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?” His green eyes stared at her intently.
Miranda looked down at her coffee, unable to hold his gaze. So many feelings rushed in. “When you said you wanted to apologize, I was relieved. But hearing you say it.… all I can think about is how you left me when I begged you not to go.”
He sucked in a deep breath. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I thought I was doing the unselfish thing by leaving. You know what they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
“It’s felt like hell all right.”
His eyebrows drew together at her words and he rubbed his forehead. “Man, I really screwed up. I don’t even know where to begin.”
“You can apologize for not believing me,” Miranda suggested. “When I told you that I only wanted you…the real you.”
“Yeah, I heard you say that, but it felt different from my point of view. I mean, who’d want a grease monkey when they can have some rich successful guy?
“A smart person who knows it’s what’s inside a person that counts.”
Jason snorted. “There you go again, always Pollyanna-ing everything up.”
“I’m serious! I’d love to have the freedom to travel and pursue the things I’m passionate about. Have a cool car.” She smiled at him. “But life comes in stages, you know? Sometimes you have a lot, and sometimes a little. The trick is to be happy in either spot.”
He stared at her. “You might have something there.”
This time she held his gaze. But she wasn’t quite ready to make up with him yet. “You look so good. I can’t believe how long it’s been.”
“I have a thick head and always take the long way around to learn things.” He reached over and touched the back of her hand. “I’ve missed you.”
The warm touch was like a knock out punch. “Are you telling me you’ve changed again?” Her comment was a last ditch effort in order not to cave and jump in his arms. She amended it—his tan muscular arms. For crying out loud, will-power, woman!
Jason took a sip of his coffee. “I don’t know how to say it, because I’ve said it before. But yeah, I have changed. Maybe I’ve grown up, I don’t know. But the time has been good for me. I had to let go of the bad stuff that had happened to me as a kid, and realize it didn’t define who I was today. All my life I’ve struggled with my mom’s old insults. I finally decided to tune into a different voice. One that didn’t put me down.” He stroked his chin. “And, I finally realized what I’m passionate about. Things that make me who I am.”
Miranda tipped her head, intrigued. She brushed her hair back and blew on her coffee.
“I, uh.” He blushed and grinned as he looked down. “I started a crisis center for teens. It’s called TECH, for Teen Crisis Hope. It’s not much, but I feel like I’m finally doing what I was meant to do.” He studied his hand and held it out to show her the grease stains. “Oh, and I’m back under cars again, obviously.”
Miranda’s mouth dropped open. “You’re kidding me? That’s your place out on Seventh Street?”
He nodded. “Yeah, me and a few other folks run it. So far we’ve helped eighty kids. You should come check it out sometime.”
Miranda gripped the edge of the table, still in shock. “That’s freaking unbelievable. And so cool.” She took a sip of coffee, trying to buy time to slow her thoughts down.
He seemed to understand and didn’t press her.
“This is so weird to say, but if you ever need any help, I’d like to volunteer,” she said, suddenly feeling bashful.
“You would?”
“Yes, I totally would. I’m not sure how helpful I’d be, but I’d love to do it.”
He tipped his head. “It would be awesome to have you. There’s a training program you have to go through first, if you’re serious. The next one we offer is in a week. Interested?”
“Definitely.”
His smile broadened and he studied her frankly. “You’ll like it, I’m sure. But if not, don’t worry. No obligation. It’s not for everyone.”
“So how does being a Crisis Coordinator mesh with wearing fancy duds?”
The corner of Jason’s mouth quirked up. “I sold most of them. All except for that leather jacket. I needed that. And the bathrobe. That thing is awesome.”
“You have a bathrobe?” Miranda squinched her nose and laughed.
Jason flicked a sugar packet at her. “Shut up! Yes, Egyptian cotton and everything.” He smiled wolfishly at her. “Like my sheets.”
“Oh brother.”
“Don’t knock it until you try it. Softest thing you ever slept in.”
Miranda shook her head. “Well, at least you changed them.”
“What? I always changed my sheets.”
“Changing them with every solstice does not constitute sheet cleanliness.” Miranda shook her head.
“Wow, you’re on a roll today. This coffee date’s been great for my self-esteem.”
“Oh! It’s a date now, is it?”
Jason studied the cup in front of him. He slowly spun it, and glanced back at her. “I kind of hope so.”
Man, he was cute.
Miranda closed her eyes and tried not to picture his scruffy face bending over hers.
“Let’s start as friends again,” she said. Take that, willpower!
Jason studied her with a small grin before finishing the last of his coffee. “I wish it could be longer, but I have to be getting back. I’ve got two kids in crisis coming today, and I need to make sure the team is ready to receive them.” He pulled out his wallet and slid a ten under the cup. “There, that will pay for us.” He stood up and hesitated. “Maybe lunch soon?”
“I’d like that, Jason. A lot.”
He nodded with his half-grin. “Great. Maybe I’ll take you to the Space Needle. You know, to impress you.”
Her face froze in wariness.
“Nah, I’m just kidding. I did find an awesome taco stand though. Maybe we can go there.”
“Sounds great.”
Jason’s phone buzzed and he pulled it from his pocket, quickly reading the text. “Oh, I guess they’re already there. I need to go.” He stretched out his arms towards her. “Hug?”
Miranda stood and walked over. He wrapped his arms around her. Resting against his chest felt like coming home, and she couldn’t help the small noise that came out of her mouth. “Mmmmm.”
She felt his cheek against the top of her head. “Bye, Miranda.”
With a final wave, he strode quickly out of the restaurant.
Miranda settled back into the booth and picked up her coffee mug. Wow, he sure looked good. More confident and sure of himself than she’d ever seen before. All from starting the center? Or just figuring out what was important to him? He looked hot! She giggled and sipped her coffee. Her stomach jumped with butterflies. I can’t wait to see him again. Suddenly, her eyes grew big. She grabbed her phone and quickly texted. —I forgive you!
30
Winter
Miranda completed her three-week training program. It was grueling but worth it. Today she sat next to her team captain, a cute redhead named Chloe.
“Hey lady, you think you can handle the next phone call?” Chloe pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose.
