by Peach, Hanna
“We need to talk,” he said.
The four worst words of any language. Except maybe for “I love her instead” or “he dies, you die”.
Alyx nodded dumbly to Israel. There was no avoiding this anymore.
His face was stern and cold as he grabbed her arm and started to walk. Her heart dropped into her stomach as she let herself be dragged by Israel outside into the Aradale grounds, away from eavesdroppers. Away from anyone who might hear her heart breaking.
She was silly to believe that he could just forget about her keeping secrets from him. Silly to think that they could just be okay again. She could barely breathe at the thought of what he may say to her. Her heart already felt like it had been split open. Couldn’t he just do it here and be done with it?
But Israel didn’t stop walking until they came to a small lake in the side gardens of the Aradale grounds. Alyx had never ventured here before. It was beautiful. The fresh breeze dragged languidly through the wispy willow, skittering across the pond and under the small bridge, carrying with it the soft scent of lilies. But Alyx couldn’t enjoy the beauty at the moment.
Israel let go of her arm and started to pace, his hand running through his dark hair. It was getting long and beginning to fall back into his face rather than stand up in an untamed mess. Alyx wished she could push the hair back from his face. If she tried to now, she feared that her hand would be slapped away by him.
“Israel,” Alyx started. She ignored how desperate her voice sounded, “I’m so sorry—”
“No,” he cut her off. “You don’t get to talk.” His voice wasn’t angry but it held a firmness in it that she hadn’t ever heard in him before.
Alyx swallowed. “Okay.”
Israel stopped pacing and stood to face her, his wide shoulders square to her, his hand in two loose fists at his side. He appeared to loom over her. Alyx blinked as she looked up at him. She had forgotten how tall he was.
He stepped closer so that he was less than a step away from her. Alyx had to make an effort to stand her ground. For several moments he said nothing. Alyx almost began trying to apologize again just to fill in the silence when he spoke in that low and firm voice again, “Ever since we met you have treated me like a child. Like I was something to coddle. Something weaker than you that needed your protection.”
Alyx began to protest but was silenced by Israel raising his hand.
“Don’t try to deny it. You make decisions without me. You knock me out and go off on your own. Now, I find out that you have been keeping secrets from me. Secrets about me. How would you feel if I did these things to you?”
Alyx felt a blush began to flood her face. But he still wouldn’t let her talk. “Truthfully, I’m grateful that you did these things, Alyx. You know why? Because from the beginning I looked at you as if you were... infallible. Perfect. I put you so high up on that pedestal that you were unreachable to me. I put you there.
“When it became clear that you returned my feelings, I couldn’t believe my luck, because yes, I thought it was just luck that you decided to choose me. I thought that we were on borrowed time. I thought you were so far out of my world that I believed Adere and her crap that I wasn’t good enough for you and allowed myself to get tricked by her, putting both of us in danger.
“I thought you were too good for me so when you pulled away I didn’t fight to get you back. How could I even begin to fight for something that was never truly mine?”
Israel laughed but the sound held no humor in it. “So when it came out that you lied to me, that you kept these secrets from me...” His eyes narrowed. “Are you keeping anything else from me?”
Alyx dropped her head. She considered denying it...
“You are, aren’t you?” Israel’s voice didn’t seem angry. He seemed… disappointed. Oh God, that was so much worse. “Tell me. Everything.”
Alyx closed her eyes for a moment and prayed for courage. She spoke hesitantly, “Jordan and I… we kissed.”
Alyx heard Israel’s healing knuckles crack as his hands gripped into fists at his side. She watched his eyes darken.
“It was just once,” she said quickly. “But it won’t happen again. I promise you. He knows… about you.”
“What does he know?”
Alyx lowered her gaze. “He knows that I still… have feelings for you.”
“Anything else I should know?”
“Mayrekk...” Alyx had to swallow to unstick her tongue from the roof of her mouth. “He said that if... if we had a child, then the child would have the mix of the three bloods, mortal, Seraphim and demon.”
Israel’s eyes widened. “This is the keye everyone wants to get their hands on, isn’t it? The keye to open the gates of Hell that your prophecy is talking about, isn’t it?”
Alyx nodded.
“Our child… Jesus. Are you pregnant?”
“I... I don’t know.”
Israel made an exasperated sounding noise. “And you didn’t think to find out?”
“I was going to ask Ana, but then she got mad at me for training her son without her permission, and I didn’t think she would keep my secret if I asked for her help and then I would have to explain...” Her voice faltered when she realized how stupid her explanations sounded out aloud. It had all seemed so reasonable at the time.
“We are going to see Ana. Right now.” He grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her around. Alyx allowed him to march her into the house.
Israel marched up to the infirmary door and rapped at it with his knuckles. The wait for the door to open seemed to take forever.
Israel had been silent this whole time and Alyx was too caught up in her own head to attempt conversation. Alyx stumbled over in her mind how she was going to explain all of this to Ana and how she was going to convince Ana to keep it a secret.
“We need to talk to you. Now. Please,” Israel said when Ana opened her door.
Ana opened her mouth to say something but thought better of it. Perhaps it was the grim look on Israel’s face.
“Come in.”
Ana led them through the infirmary waiting area to one of the rooms beyond. It looked to be a consultation room with a desk and two facing chairs separating part of the end of the room. Along the other wall was a low bed covered in an off-white sheet. Cupboards and shelves lined the wall, separating the desk and the bed.
Ana sat at the chair behind the desk and motioned for Alyx and Israel to take a seat in the two chairs facing her. “What is so important that it couldn’t wait?”
“We need to know that you won’t tell anyone,” said Alyx, biting her lip.
“Alyx,” Israel admonished her.
Ana raised her hand up. “That’s okay, Israel. I can handle this.” Turning to Alyx, she said, “I can’t promise that I can keep what you will tell me a secret. If it concerns the safety of this community or others, I shall be obliged to tell Tobias or at least organize a meeting with Tobias so that you can tell him, if you prefer.”
“What about doctor-patient privilege stuff?” Alyx said, crossing her arms.
Ana shook her head. “You’ve been reading too many mortal books. That is a mortal policy. Not mine. I won’t unnecessarily tell anyone about your secret, but if I think it best, I will tell Tobias.”
“Alyx,” Israel spoke low. “We don’t have any choice. If we leave it, it could get worse.”
“What could get worse?” Now there was genuine concern crossing Ana’s face. “Please let me help you.”
Alyx huffed in resignation. “Israel is part-demon, I’m sure you know. Well, maybe two or three weeks ago we... please understand, that it just felt like the right thing at the time... we weren’t careful...”
“What? What is it?” Ana asked, leaning forward with her elbows on the desk.
Alyx tried to speak, tried to say the words, but she couldn’t find her voice. She looked up when Israel took her hand in his. She hadn’t realized she had been twisting her fingers over and over in her lap. His th
umb ran softly across the back of her hand.
“We made love, Alyx and I,” Israel said. “Just that one night, but now we’re worried that...”
Ana nodded. “I see. Certainly a terrifying prospect but not the end of the world, although it can feel like it.” Ana’s voice became a little far off. “Oh God.” Her eyes widened when the realization sunk in. “If you were to have… then it…”
Israel nodded. “It’s a worrying prospect. But please, can you confirm whether or not she’s pregnant, first?”
“Of course. That is the easy bit.” Ana started to move out from behind her desk. She stopped in front of the bed and motioned for Alyx to come to her. “Lie down here, please.”
Israel guided Alyx out of her chair and without warning, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her towards Ana as if she were a child. Alyx nestled against his strong chest for the few precious seconds before he laid her on the bed and let go of her. She had to stop herself from grabbing at his neck as he pulled away. So cold, her body felt so cold without him.
“What are you going to do to me?” Alyx asked.
Ana’s face melted into a soft smile that Alyx thought was meant to reassure her. “I’m a WaterBearer. An ideal gift for a healer. Do you know why?”
Alyx shook her head.
“Our physical bodies are made up of about 70% water which means that—”
“You can sense the inside of my body.” And whether there is a baby growing in me.
Ana didn’t seem to be upset that Alyx had just interrupted her. In fact she seemed pleased. “Very well done. You’re absolutely correct. It won’t hurt, I promise.”
Alyx lay back down. She felt herself relax a little more when Israel found her hand and twisted his fingers around hers.
Ana lifted the bottom of Alyx’s shirt and placed her hands on Alyx’s stomach. Alyx felt a cool sensation flood out from where Ana’s hands warmed her belly. It swirled around her like mist caught in a draft. After a few moments, Ana pulled her hands away. Her face was unreadable.
“Well?” said Israel.
She shook her head. “Nothing. I see no child there.”
For some reason this stunned Alyx more.
Alyx and Israel left the infirmary in silence, after accepting a lecture from Ana on unprotected sex and repeated warnings of the fact that they had been lucky “this time”.
Further down the corridor, Israel pulled her through one of the open doors that led to the garden, enclosed between the Aradale wings. He led her through the simple path fringed with pruned rose bushes. He stopped when they were standing in the very center, under the arch covered with roses, alone. Alyx moved to put her arms around him.
“Alyx,” his voice was rough as he grabbed her forearms and pulled her hands away from him. “Don’t think for a minute that we are okay again. I am glad that we don’t have this child, this keye, hanging over our heads, but... it also means that we can’t slip up like that again. And I’m still so damn angry at you for lying to me. God, it still hurts so much to be around you right now.”
Alyx felt her face fall. Her whole body crumpled like a flower wilted from weeks without rain. His face was so stern, so cold. She wondered if she would ever see him smile at her again. Her heart cried in pain at the thought that she might have lost his smiles forever.
“Despite everything, I...” Israel’s mask faltered for a moment and Alyx saw a little softness return to his eyes. “Damn you,” he all but whispered. “Despite everything you’ve done, I still love you, Alyx.”
These words stung her heart as if it were unthawing. It was the sweetest pain. Alyx tried to speak but she could only gasp instead. He loved her. Despite all that she had done he still loved her...
He placed his hands firmly around her face, fusing their gazes together. “You belong to me,” he continued, his eyes burning with intensity. “And I belong to you. But until you pull your head out of your ass and stop looking at me like this helpless child, like this boy who needs saving, we can’t be equals. And I refuse to be with someone who doesn’t view me and treat me like an equal. Because you know what? I’m tired of holding you up on this pedestal. You’re not perfect. Far from it, actually, as you continue to demonstrate.”
Alyx felt her mouth begin to drop open. His scolding had caused her face to flush with shame. She wanted to feel angry at him, to feel bitter, to yell at him. And yet, staring at this man, this man, who was so assuredly putting her in her place, her body flooded with so much heat she could barely hold herself standing. She didn’t think she had ever wanted him as badly as she did now. Stupid body. Stupid heart. Betraying her again.
“You’re not perfect,” he continued, “and neither am I. But we’re perfect... for each other. I mean, Jesus, Alyx, you saw us in there... we’re better together. Isn’t that what we’re all seeking? The one who makes us better than when we are alone?”
Alyx found she could neither move nor speak. Not even when he closed the gap between them. His arms grabbed her around her waist and across her back in a vice. He was rougher with her than he had ever been. He pulled at her and her body slammed against his, causing her to gasp. A gasp which he stifled when his lips closed roughly over hers.
If he hadn’t been holding her, she would have slipped to the ground, her legs trembling as his tongue found hers. He kissed her as if he was claiming her, firm, possessive but with an unmistakable underlying tenderness. His hands splayed across her back marking her as his. Alyx moaned, pronouncing herself as his.
She lifted her hands to his face. But he broke their kiss off cold, and stepped back, releasing her from his arms. Her lips and hands grasped at air.
“I’m serious, Alyx. Until you learn to treat me like a man and not a boy, I’m not interested in even figuring out how to be with you. I think we need our space for the moment.”
“But...” Alyx spluttered. She dropped her useless hands, feeling like her world was spinning out of control. “But what the hell was that, then?”
Israel stepped close to her again, but this time he did so without touching her. Alyx felt her breath hitch and her body alight with fire while at the same time she was frozen with anticipation. Fire and ice all at once. Damn him. What was he doing to her?
With the fingers of his left hand, he pushed the long lock of her hair behind her ears and behind her shoulder, exposing her ear and her neck. Alyx shivered. Israel noticed. Alyx thought he seemed pleased at her reaction. He leaned down to touch his lips to her ear.
“That, my angel, was an incentive. A preview of what we could have.”
Then he pulled his lips away and in several long strides he was gone. His sweet breath lingering on her face and the fire in her body threatening to consume her was all that remained of this encounter.
Chapter 29
“That’s Peter there,” said Alyx.
She recognized him from his picture on the organizational chart they had found on the Galleria’s website. Peter Schwartz, Head of Security, was a stocky man with clear eyes and a moustache the same light shade as his hair and threaded with gray. He walked purposefully around the Galleria, eyes darting around him.
Jordan nodded imperceptibly and began to walk directly into Peter’s path, leaving Alyx pretending to be engrossed in the sculpture before them. Alyx watched from the corner of her eye as Jordan pretended to knock into him.
“Sorry, so sorry,” she heard Jordan say as he placed his hand on Peter’s arm. Within seconds Peter’s eyes were rolling into the back of his head and Jordan was striding away towards the exit without looking back.
Peter staggered before he slid to the ground. There was a yell from a nearby female. Several mortals had turned to stare at the fallen man. A few started to move towards him. Alyx ran towards Peter’s side and knelt by him.
“Doctor!” Alyx called over the noise in the hall, “Is there a doctor here anywhere?”
“I’m a doctor,” Alyx recognized Dianne’s voice. She looked up to see Dianne, looking odd in
her jeans and casual T-shirt, pushing past the growing crowd to get to the fallen guard. Dianne knelt beside Alyx and busied herself by pretending to take a pulse, pull up his eyelids and check his wrist for a medical band.
Alyx heard another rough voice demanding that he be let through. She looked up to see a security guard pushing his way to them. Alyx swallowed hard when she noticed the gun holstered to his belt and the mean look in his eyes. When he crouched next to Peter’s body, she could see that his name tag read Edelman.
“What the hell happened here?” Edelman demanded, looking at Dianne, then at Alyx. Alyx noticed Dianne’s fingers start to shake but she kept her hands on Peter’s forehead.
Keep it together, Dianne. Just keep it together.
“This man fell,” Alyx said, realizing that she needed to be the one to do the talking. Dianne was too occupied. A slight crease between Dianne’s eyebrows was the only sign that she was concentrating. But a bead of sweat had started to draw from her forehead. Alyx knew she needed to stall. Dianne needed more time to look through Peter’s memories. “This lady is a doctor,” Alyx said. “She’s just checking to make sure that he’s okay.”
“It was that guy,” a voice in the crowd said. Alyx couldn’t see who was speaking. “That guy did something to him.”
Crap.
“What? Who said that?” Edelman growled at the crowd. “What guy?”
A youngish teen was pushed forward by his parents. “I saw a guy bump into him and walk off. Then this guy fell. I think that other guy did something to him to make him unconscious.”
Double crap.
Edelman turned back to glare at Alyx. She shrugged and tried to look innocent. “I didn’t see a guy.”
Edelman’s eyes narrowed at Alyx, then at Dianne.
“Get your hands off him,” Edelman demanded.
Dianne’s face pulled into a look like a deer caught in headlights. Then she pulled her quivering fingers off Peter. Alyx looked at Dianne. Had she gotten what they needed? The firm line of Dianne’s lips told Alyx that she hadn’t.
