by Jill Sanders
Chapter Eight
When she walked into the restaurant just after noon the next day she made a point to watch and see what the reaction was. So far, no one stared at her or whispered in hushed tones while looking in her direction. Maybe that was too high school-ish. She walked into the back room and noticed everyone was moving around, busy as usual. Nobody seemed to care or notice her.
Could she have lucked out? Maybe Ruth didn't know her mother? Maybe it was a different Donna Kennedy?
By the end of the shift, she knew that no one in town knew her story. There were enough locals coming and going each day that she would have had some clue if they knew her secret. But she'd worked herself up so much that morning that she had a migraine by the time she pulled into her parking spot.
She was happy it was close to one in the morning so the store's windows were all dark, it was one less thing she would have to worry about. But when she entered her place and saw the blinking light on her message machine, she knew her monthly call had come. No matter what she did, her mother seemed to always find her phone number.
One less thing she would have to worry about. But when she entered her place and saw the blinking light on her message machine, she knew her monthly call had come. No matter what she did, her mother seemed to always find her phone number.
“Hello, Amber. It's your mother. I wanted to let you know the progress we've made for your father. So far, Mr. Malone thinks we have a chance this time. All we need is your cooperation. If you change your mind about helping out, give Mr. Malone a call. You have his number.” The machine beeped at the end of the message.
Amber walked into her bathroom and dropped her hoop skirt and shirt. She pulled the pony tails out of her hair as she turned on the hot water. When it was nice and steamy in the room, she stepped under the spray and cried until she couldn't cry anymore.
Walking out of the bathroom, she wrapped herself in a large towel and fell face first on her bed and didn't move.
The darkness consumed her mind, and she shivered in the cold. When she looked out the window of the van, she saw a man lying on the ground, staring up at the night sky with empty eyes. She knew the monster was inside the large silver building, but she didn't know when he'd be back. Remembering what had happened just a few minutes ago, she shivered again.
“You stay down now, Amber. I mean it. Don't poke your head up for nothing. Daddy's just going to go meet a friend, then I'll come back and take you out for some ice cream, like I promised.” Her father turned his head and waved at someone out of her sight. She was nine years old and sitting on the floor of her father's van. It was a week before her birthday. She remembered because Gabby Luft told her that she wouldn't go to her birthday party if she was the last girl on Earth. Amber had cried all day, and even now her eyes were puffy and red. It was one of the reasons she'd pestered her daddy into taking her on this short trip. He'd finally agreed and promised her that if she was good, he'd take her out to Stripes, her favorite ice cream place.
She’d stayed tucked down on the floorboard of her father's van until she'd heard the yelling. Then she'd quietly stood up and looked out the side window. What she saw changed the way she would look at her father for the rest of her life.
There was a young man in a guard uniform down on his knees as her father stood over him, yelling. The man's blond hair was curly. She remembered that detail because she'd always wanted curly blond hair. His hands were raised up like he was praying, but before she could blink, her father pulled a gun out of his coat and shot the man right in the face. Amber's whole world shattered in that split second. She was frozen in place, even her eyes refused to blink. She watched as her father walked past the man's lifeless body and into the large building. He was holding the black case he always had hiding in his closet.
She thought about running away, about just opening the door and running. But then she looked at the dark heap that used to be a man and realized she was afraid. Too afraid of the monster that was out there.
It must have been only a few minutes later when he came back out, but to her it had seemed like years. She could see the monster walking out of the door, moving closer to her. She quickly ducked down and tucked her body into a ball, closing her eyes tight, listening to every sound. She could hear her heart beat loudly as the van door opened, then closed, the van swaying with the extra weight. The monster was inside with her, and he had her father's voice.
“See, darling, I told you I'd be back quickly. Oh, here now.” Her father reached under her chin and pulled her face up towards his. “What are all the tears about? Are you still upset about what that girl said to you today?” Amber looked up, trying to meet eyes she no longer knew, but her eyes refused to focus on his face, Instead all she saw was a monster she was now very afraid of. So she nodded her head and tucked back into a ball.
“Well, don't give that girl a second thought. Let's go get you some ice cream to make everything better.” He chuckled as he drove away from the large building.
In sleep, she mimicked the actions of her nine-year-old self until finally she woke, more tired than before. Rubbing her forehead, she swung her feet over the bed and pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a large sweatshirt. Walking into the next room she stood at the windows and watched the quiet town. But instead of seeing the dark buildings or the street lights, she saw her father's face.
Halloween came and went quickly for Luke. He coasted through handing out candy with his gran that night dressed as a pirate, a costume he'd used a few years back.
He felt like there was a fog over his eyes. The fact that he hadn't had a good night’s sleep since getting the bad news was finally catching up with him. When he sat down with the four women later that night to watch Dracula in black and white, he found himself nodding off.
The next few days he watched his grandmother's health deteriorate slowly. At first she had a hard time standing up, so someone had brought her a wheelchair to help her get around the house. He moved all the furniture around so she could easily get everywhere she wanted. Then one morning he noticed that her eyes were not tracking him as he talked to her. He purposely moved quietly across the room, and she continued to speak to him like he hadn't moved.
“Gran?” he said when he made it back to the first spot, “are you having troubles with your eyes?”
“Oh, well, don't worry about that. I'll be fine. I'm just a little tired. I think I'll go lie back down.” She moved to push the chair back down the hallway. He was there to do it for her.
“We can go see Dr. Stevens if you need?”
“Oh, no. I don't want to bother anyone. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow.”
The next morning, she was still having problems, so he arranged for Aaron to casually stop by before the game that week.
“Mrs. Crawford, Luke says you're having problems with your eyes. Would you mind if I checked on them? I promise no needles this time.” Aaron smiled.
“Oh, well, I suppose so. How's that baby coming along? I just can't wait to see it. You're having a boy this time, right?”
“Yes, ma'am. He won't be showing up until after Thanksgiving some time. I know Lacey and Lilly are really excited to see him.” Aaron continued to chatter as he looked as Luke’s grandmother. Luke didn't like the frown on his friend’s face. When they walked outside, Aaron broke the news that she most likely wouldn't gain her eyesight back.
He tried to bow out of going to the game, but his friend insisted that at least he sit on the sidelines and watch. So he sat there for about half an hour, then quietly walked out the doors. He found himself walking around town since the weather was nice enough. He avoided the grocery store and instead headed down towards the docks.
When he reached them, he leaned on the railing, looking out over the water. He had a small sailboat docked there. He hadn't taken it out in months and probably wouldn't for a long time. He just couldn't imagine going out on the water and enjoying himself while his gran suffered.
“Hey.” He h
eard a voice from behind him, and when he looked, he saw Amber walking towards him, holding a small to-go box.
“Hey, yourself.” He leaned back on the railing. “Taking a break?”
“Yeah.” She stopped right in front of him. “It's my lunch break. Care to join me?”
“Um, sure.” He straightened.
“There's plenty here.” She held up the container. “Let's go over there.” She pointed to a bench and he followed her and sat down. “You're not playing today?”
“No. I decided to take a walk instead.”
“Well, you couldn't have picked a better day for it.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I always love the occasional sunny day this time of year.”
He looked around and realized she was right. “How's work going?”
“Oh, it’s wonderful.” She smiled over at him. “I'm still waiting for something to change. I keep thinking there can't be a job this perfect, there has to be something wrong with it.”
“Do you always look for the negative in things?” He chuckled as she opened the container of food and he saw a huge hamburger. He knew that the restaurant made some of the best, and this one was huge. She was right, there was plenty of it to go around. It sat on a large pile of spicy fries and there were two large pickles sitting off to the side.
“Mark, the chef on duty, thinks I'm too thin.” She smiled. “He keeps giving me too much to eat. Do you know, the other day, he actually made me a whole chocolate pie to take home? I still have several slices tucked away in the fridge.”
“Mmm.” He looked down at the container, “No chocolate in there?”
She laughed. “No, just one of the largest burgers I've ever seen. I don't always look for the negative, no. I guess you could say I'm just cautious.”
“I can see that.” He took the half of the burger she offered him and immediately took a bite. He always loved the burgers there, but this one was better than any he'd had in a long time.
“I know. It's crazy, huh?” She handed him a napkin from her pocket and laughed at him.
“What?” He took another bite.
“How good it is. I mean, I've had burgers before, but this...” She held up her half and took a big bite. He watched her eyes close and listened to her moan as she chewed. Then she slowly licked her lips and all thought of food left his brain. He stared at her mouth and was mesmerized. Her checks were pink due to the slightly chilly wind coming off the Pacific. Her hair was tied back in a loose braid and tiny wisps of hair framed her lovely face. When she opened her eyes again, he noticed how blue they were today. Almost as clear as the sky itself.
“What?” She took her napkin and frantically wiped her face. “Did I get ketchup on my face?”
He smiled and leaned over to place a soft kiss on her mouth. “No, you look happy and beautiful.”
She looked at him, a slight smile on her lips. “Thank you. You look tired.”
His smile fell away. “Yeah.” He picked up his burger and took another bite. “My gran is stuck in a wheelchair now and on top of it all, she can't see anymore.”
“Oh, Luke! I'm so sorry.” She reached out and took his free hand. “Is there anything I can do?”
He shook his head and looked down at the rest of his burger half. He was no longer hungry.
“Well.” He could tell she was struggling to come up with something else to say.
He jumped in, trying to lighten the mood. “So, do you have family around here?” He instantly regretted it when she sighed and looked off into the distance.
“Yeah. My mom is in Eugene. My dad... isn't.”
“Oh?” He watched her nibble on some fries, and could tell she was deep in thought. “You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.”
“She turned to him and tilted her head as she looked at him. “My father is in a federal prison in Portland. He's been there since I was ten. My mother doesn't speak to me, only calls when I'm not home to leave a message, begging me to rethink the testimony I have that put him there. You would think that she would have chosen to listen to her daughter once in the last seventeen years, but instead she sticks by him and his trail of lies.”
“What happened?” He finished his burger half and reached in for a handful of fries, which were a little cold at this point, but still delicious.
“My father was part of a group of activists. He was caught with some plans which linked him to the murder of a twenty-four year old security guard at the nuclear power plant in Kalama, Washington. I'm the one that called the hotline. I'm the one that turned my father in.” She turned to him, and he could see the tears in her blue eyes, turning them a lighter shade. “I watched him shoot the man in the face. He just pulled the gun out of his coat and shot him like it was nothing. Then he took his nine-year-old daughter out for bubblegum ice cream.” She turned back towards the water. “That weekend was my birthday, and I got to spend an extra hour watching cartoons. But instead I switched the television to the news channel. I saw the report, and they had a phone number at the bottom of the screen. I used my Mickey Mouse coloring book and my new crayons to write it down. Then later that day, I sneaked into the guest room and called it. At first they thought I was just some kid who'd dialed the wrong number.” She laughed. “They kept hanging up on me. But by the third call, I finally blurted out that my daddy shot the man with curly blond hair in the face. That got their attention, since they hadn't released any details on how he'd died, other than he'd been shot. The police showed up an hour later, and I was taken into protective custody.”
“Amber, I don't know what to say.” He didn't. He'd thought he was going through some rough stuff, but to be all alone in the world and to feel the betrayal that she’d felt, he couldn't imagine it.
She looked at him and smiled. “Say that you won't tell a soul. I've moved around, running from it since that day. My mother pretty much left me alone the rest of my childhood. No more birthday parties, no more crayons, nothing. When I was seventeen I moved out, and I haven't seen her since. You were very lucky to have your grandparents. I can see in your grandmother's eyes that she would do anything for you.”
He smiled. “Yeah, she would.”
“Luke, I'm sorry your grandmother is sick. I can only imagine how much she means to you.”
“You know what? We're a bunch of depressing people. Here we are sitting on a dock on a beautiful day, eating wonderful food, and all we can do is talk about sad and depressing things.” He stood abruptly and held out his hand for hers. “I feel like having a piece of that chocolate pie.” She set the almost empty container of fries down and took his hand. When he pulled her up, he pulled her close. “Do you still have some time on your lunch break?”
She looked down at her watch. “Fifteen minutes left.”
“Perfect. But not enough time to go back to your place, so what do you say to me buying you a big piece at the restaurant?”
“I'd say make it an apple pie and add a scoop of ice cream and you have yourself a deal.”
“Mmm, that sounds even better.” He picked up the container of fries and tossed them out for the birds, then dumped the trash in the trashcan, then they walked back to the Golden Oar, hand in hand.
Chapter Nine
By the time he got back home, he was in a better mood then he'd been in all month. When he arrived home he was greeted with laughter and wonderful smells. The four women were in the kitchen cooking. His gran sat in her wheelchair laughing, which caused him to smile.
“Well, there he is now. We were just wondering when you were going to be home. We're just getting ready for some company tonight. Your grandmother thought it would be nice to invite a few friends over.”
His smile dropped away a little. “Gran? Are you going to be up to it?”
“Oh my, yes, dear. I think it's a lovely idea. I always wanted to say my goodbyes on my own terms. None of this hanging about until I look dreadful. I want everyone to see me while I'm still in my prime.” She smiled, causing him to
smile. Yup, that was his gran. Always doing things her own way. He thought it was a great idea.
“Well, naturally we've been in here cooking all day. We even made a batch of those brownies you love so much,” one of the sisters said, causing him to look about the room quickly. “On, no. We have them tucked away. You can have some later. Now go clean up and wear something nice. Guests will be arriving soon.”
He rushed from the room in hopes of getting his hands on a brownie early. By the time he was cleaned up and dressed in dark brown slacks and a green button-up shirt, he thought he heard more voices in the house. When he walked out, he saw the entire Jordan clan, Father Michael, Patty, several of the other church women, and a few other families his grandparents had been close to, all sitting or standing around.
“Good, you’re here,” Annie said, carrying a large plate of cheese and crackers in her hands. “You can help me fill drink orders.”
