by Shae Scott
“I’m not choosing her. Don’t you know how much I want to be there for you? I don’t want to miss your party, or your birthday. You are where I want to be, but this is important too.”
“Obviously,” I said bitterly.
He sighed dramatically. “Ally. Enough. I know this hurts you. I know that you are pissed and you have every right to be. But I can’t deal with this right now. I have too much on my mind and too much shit to figure out without having to deal with one of your meltdowns.”
I sat in shock for a moment. Did he really just say that? Where did he get off with making me the bad guy in this situation? I was completely entitled to my feelings. He was deserting me on my birthday…the woman he was supposed to be in love with. Deserting me to spend the night schmoozing his boss and his make believe girlfriend. And he had the nerve to accuse me of having a meltdown when I had a negative reaction to the news?
“You’re right, Owen. I wouldn’t want my feelings to get in the way of your success and your stupid job. So don’t worry about me. Just go to your stupid gala and make your millions. I don’t need you there. And right now…I don’t even want you there anymore.” I hung up then, before the angry tears could betray me.
*****
I was still angry when I got to work the next morning. I hadn’t slept much. I had been too busy playing the conversation over and over again in my head. I wasn’t used to this side of Owen. He wasn’t typically mean, even when he was frustrated. The idea that he’d been that way to me was hard to deal with. It didn’t match the man that I made him out to be. Maybe that was my fault, for putting him on a pedestal, but I didn’t like this side of him. This was the hard man that other people saw, not the one I’d known.
I grumbled as Cassie met me in the hall and walked with me to my office. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked giving me a concerned look. I knew my eyes were showing the lack of sleep. My concealer could only hide so much.
“My boyfriend is an asshole,” I said simply. She raised an eyebrow, clearly needing more to the story. We rounded the corner and I flipped on the light to my office. Sitting on my desk was a massive bouquet of flowers. The arrangement was obnoxiously extravagant. I sighed, annoyed.
“Whoa! He must have really screwed up. Look at that thing. What happened?” She walked towards the flowers and handed me the card as she took a whiff. “They smell amazing,” she confirmed.
I sat down at my desk and opened the card, prepared to dismiss anything that was written on it.
I fucked up. I’m sorry.
Well, that pretty much covered it.
I had just finished telling Cassie about the night before when my phone lit up with an incoming call. “Is that him?” she asked. I nodded, deciding if I was going to answer it. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to talk to him yet. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say. “Talk to him, Al. If you don’t, you’ll worry about it all day. Come find me later and tell me how it went.” She walked out of the office and pulled the door closed behind her.
I took a deep breath and answered.
“I’m sorry, baby. I really fucked up last night. I was feeling sorry for myself and I took it out on you when you held me accountable like you should have. I owe you more than what I gave you last night. I was an asshole and I’m sorry.” His words came out fast, as if he were afraid I wasn’t going to let him finish. Granted, I had hung up on him last night.
“Owen, I know that you are in a tough spot. But you have to remember that I am in this too. Each time you choose to be with them it makes me feel like I am second best. That may be irrational, but it’s how I felt and the fact that you dismissed that and made me feel like I was just a bother for it, pissed me off. Don’t take me for granted. Don’t belittle my feelings. You know being at my birthday party isn’t the issue. I wanted you here because I wanted to share the day with you. I want you here when I have things going on in my life. I want you to want to be here. It hurt to hear that you weren’t going to be here, but it hurt more for you to belittle my feelings.” I was proud that I had remained strong and somehow got my words out there.
“I know. I know. Shit, Ally. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to be the one who is disappointing you. It’s the whole reason I tried to stay away from you at first. I was just proving that to both of us. I don’t want to take you for granted. But I have to finish what I started. I have to secure this deal, even if it takes me away from where I want to be.” He was being wishy-washy again. Every time that he showed me that vulnerable side, he would shift back to the selfish side, the one who put success above everything else. Maybe he would never change. Maybe I would always come in second.
“I don’t want to fight about it. You’ve told me what you have to do. I’ve told you how I feel about it. It is what it is. We’ll just move forward.” My voice remained even, I was willing to let it go for the sake of my sanity, but I wasn’t ready to brush it away completely.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice was soft, but I could hear the turmoil behind his words.
“Then don’t. Just get it all taken care of so we don’t have to deal with it anymore. I don’t want to have to worry about her anymore. I’m tired of there being three of us in this relationship. I won’t do it forever.” I meant it. I wasn’t cut out for this.
“I know. I get it. I’ll fix it.” The resigned tone was back in his voice. And I knew that this was the one obstacle that we may not overcome. I should guard my heart against it, but it was so hard to do where Owen was concerned. I had already jumped in with both feet. Trying to go backwards seemed nearly impossible at this point.
******
I was not going to let my disappointment ruin this night. Owen had chosen work over my birthday. Fine. Was I mad? Yes. But mostly I was hurt. I knew I would have fun without him, but I wanted him here. He was important piece of my puzzle and the idea of celebrating without him lessened the appeal of this night. But I owed it to myself, and to Cassie, who had put this whole thing together, to suck it up and make the most of it.
I had been looking forward to this pseudo birthday party for weeks. I mean, you don’t really get the chance to have many birthday parties as an adult, so I was excited. Then again, my friends were good with anything that gave an excuse for a party. My dress was red. I was going to stand out tonight. It was short, hugging my curves and stopping mid thigh. I studied my reflection in the mirror. This dress gave me some killer cleavage. Too bad the guy that I picked this dress out for was going to be absent. I pushed the thought away before it got me down again. This week had seen me swinging like a pendulum from sad to angry; I didn’t need either of those emotions tonight.
I heard a soft knock on the door and turned to see Cassie walk into the room. She was going to be getting her own attention tonight. Her bright blond hair hung down her back and contrasted perfectly with her royal blue dress. The color matched the bright blue of her eyes and the effect was stunning.
“Damn, Cass….you look hot.” She gave a little spin to show off the look.
“Thanks. But I think you have me beat. You do realize that you forgot the back of that dress, don’t you?” She teased me and I gave her a grin. “That is one sexy dress.” She gave a little cat call. She was right, the dress was a bit out of my comfort zone, but I had been looking to impress Owen when I bought it. In addition to being tight and short, it was also backless, the material dipping low to the curve of my ass.
“We are going to have so much fun tonight. It’s gonna be the best damn birthday party in the history of birthday parties. I know, because I planned it. And well, I am awesome.” She gave me a dazzling smile and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I can only imagine what’s in store for this evening. I have no doubt that we are going to make some memories for the books tonight.”
She raised one eyebrow, mischief in her eyes. “Let’s go. The car just pulled up.”
We pulled up to the swanky club that Cassie had chosen for the party. It was definitel
y upscale and I was impressed when she informed me that she had the whole VIP section rented out for the evening. “We have our own bar, so be prepared to dance on it,” she said.
I laughed. “Okay,” I agreed. There was no way I was dancing on a bar, but I could humor her.
“One more thing…give me your phone,” she said holding out her hand to me. I gave her a confused look.
“What?” I asked.
“I want your phone. If you have it you will spend the whole night texting Owen or waiting for him to call. This is your night, and it sucks that he’s not here, but you are going to have fun and I’m going to make sure of it. Give me the phone, so you won’t be tempted.”
I didn’t want to give her my phone. But she made a good point. She knew me well. I sighed and gave in, handing it over. I watched as she slipped it into her clutch. “Good. Now we’re ready to go in.” She gave me a beaming smile and ushered me out of the car.
The inside of the club was amazing. It was dressed in deep purples and the lights cast different shades against the walls. The color scheme was classy and it felt rich and luxurious. “Wow, Cass, this place is amazing.” I was awed as I looked around.
“Nothing but the best for my girl,” she beamed, grabbing my hand and moving me towards the staircase that led up to the VIP section. I could hear cheers from the group that waited at the top. My friends. I felt the sudden wave of love for these people who had become a second family to me over the years. They were all here to help me celebrate and I was so happy at that moment that I could almost forget the very important piece that was missing. It was going to be hard not to dwell on the fact that he wasn’t here, but with this group, I was hopeful that I could get lost in the fun of the night.
I was embraced by person after person as I reached the crowd of guests. Cassie was quick to find me a shot of tequila and I lifted it ceremoniously into the air. “Let’s get this party started,” I called as I downed the shot. The warm liquid hit my stomach and I felt the hairs on my neck stand up at the shock. I loved tequila.
The night went on and I was having a great time. We drank, we danced and we laughed. Everyone was in a great mood and our VIP status had us carrying on like we were ballers. At least that’s what Cassie called it. I was feeling loose and happy as we moved back to the dance floor. I had my hair pulled up, my skin hot from exertion and alcohol. I lifted my arms above my head as I moved to the music. The beat was thumping and I felt it reverberating in my chest. I was so caught up in the movements that I almost didn’t notice when arms wrapped around my waist. I opened my eyes to see the stranger in front of me. He was sexy; dark hair, dark eyes, and a natural swagger that probably had most girls falling into his capable hands. He reminded me of Owen. Except for the eyes. This guy couldn’t compare to the deep gray eyes that Owen had. But through my haze, I could almost see him in front of me. It made the ache in me intensify. I missed him so much. I wanted him here. Fun or not, he was missing and I felt it. I could ignore it, but seeing this dark and handsome stranger in front of me reminded me of what this night was missing.
I stepped away from him and smiled, giving him a slight shake of my head. I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea. I wasn’t looking for a substitute Owen. Sexy stranger took a step closer to me, but held his hands up to indicate that he was going to keep his hands to himself, but still wanted to dance. I gave in. As long as he was in his own dance space, it was fine. We moved to the beat, bodies all around us, moving continually from one song to the next. But soon I was thirsty and needing a break. I nodded goodbye to my new friend and let Cassie know I was heading back upstairs.
I had just reached the bottom of the stairs when I felt a hand touch my arm. I turned and saw Mr. Sexy standing there with his panty dropping grin. “Hey, where are you running off to so fast?” he asked, his smirk very similar to the one that I knew so well.
I gave him a polite smile as I leaned against the railing leading up to the VIP section. “I’m going back up to my party. Thanks for the dance though,” I said. I turned to leave again and he laid his hand back on my hand.
“It’s your birthday?” he asked.
“It is.” I gave him a quizzical look and he pointed to my head. I reached my hands up and felt the crown that I had forgotten. Cassie had given me earlier in the night, it read Birthday Girl. I laughed.
“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked, not giving up. “Every girl needs a birthday shot, right?” He flashed his sexy grin again and I could appreciate it. Like I said, the man was gorgeous. I could see his muscles filling out his shirt in a most satisfactory way. His eyes, so dark and dangerous, held me with his intense, yet playful, stare. On any other day, I would be thrilled to catch his attention. But my heart was taken, and no amount of sexy smirk was going to change that.
“That’s really nice. But I’m covered. I have my own bar up there. Thanks for the offer though,” I smiled.
“You’re really gonna leave me hanging here?” he teased, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
“Hey, Al, wait up!” I watched as Cassie came up behind Mr. Sexy. He turned to see who had joined us, and I smiled as I watched his eyes light up at the sight of her. “Well, hello there,” she cooed, giving him an unashamed and admiring look up and down.
“My friend, Cassie, might want a drink,” I said, giving her a pointed look. She looked like she’d rather just take a taste of him.
“Or we could all hang out…together,” he said, his smile wicked. Cassie caught my eye and we laughed.
“Oh, sweetie, I don’t share that well. Besides, this girl is all mine. I’m the only one who gets to taste her tonight.” She ran her lip seductively across her bottom lip as she side stepped him and grabbed my hand. I looked back at the stunned dreamboat and shrugged before following Cassie back upstairs.
We collapsed into a fit of drunken giggles. “That was so much fun,” she laughed flopping down onto the couch.
“Poor guy. He was hot though,” I admitted.
“He was. But you can’t pull out the threesome card upon introduction.”
“Yeah, probably not someone you want to take home to mom,” I laughed.
“No. But I bet he could sure show a girl a good time.” For a moment I wondered if she was going to reconsider Mr. Sexy, but instead she caught the eye of the waitress and ordered another round of shots.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
It was nearing two in the morning before we decided to call it a night I was very inebriated and ready to go home and pass out from exhaustion. I was pretty sure that I was going to regret the amount of letting go that I had done tonight, but it had been worth it. I had managed to let everything go and just have fun with my friends. It was a night I would always remember; an epic celebration with the people who knew me best.
I hugged everyone and thanked them for making the night so special. Cassie practically had to drag me away. We’d pretty much closed the place down. As we stumbled our way towards the car, I was grateful that Cassie had planned ahead and hired us a driver for the night.
The car pulled up along the front of my house twenty minutes later. Cassie leaned to the front seat and asked the driver to wait for her. “I am going to walk you to your door like a proper date.”
“Okay…but just so you know, I am not putting out. I am not that kind of girl,” I laughed. Avoiding the perfectly good sidewalk, we started up the grassy hill leading up to the house. With the first step my heel sunk into the soft soil and I had to grab onto Cassie to keep myself from tumbling over. This had us both giggling. “Damn shoes” I muttered taking them off.
Cassie linked her arm with mine so we could continue to the door. What a good friend. “You know,” she said, “maybe you should be that kind of girl. That sexpot at the bar sure wanted you to be that kind of girl,” she said dreamily.
“Mr. Sexy?” I asked questionably. “He wanted us to have a threesome!”
She shrugged. “I know. But did you see him? Man, he was pretty. I could have to
tally been that kind of girl for him. Did you see those arms? And you know he has those yummy sex muscles too,” she said loud enough for all of my neighbors to hear. To prove her point she made a chopping motion at her pelvis so that I was sure to know exactly what muscles she was talking about.
“Oh my God, stop!” I laughed holding on to my stomach.
“I’m just saying, you could have breakfast in bed on that table,” she said her voice attempting seriousness.
By the time we had made it to the porch we were both laughing so hard that we had to really work to keep each other upright. But my laughter stopped instantly when my eyes caught sight of the figure sitting on my front steps. Lit only by the moonlight, he was stunning. He was so stunning that I was sure I was imagining him. I knew I was drunk, but now I was seeing things.
But then Cassie’s own laughter faded as she said, “Hi, Owen.” I continued to stare at him. What was he doing here? Wasn’t he supposed to be in Chicago, with…her? Why was he on my porch looking all intense?
“Hi, Cassie,” he said. His voice didn’t seem to carry much emotion. Robot. I don’t know why, but that made me laugh. His eyes found mine and I could see that he didn’t seem nearly as amused with us as we were. I studied him. His jaw was clinched, almost as if he were grinding his teeth. He looked tired and irritated. What was his problem? Was he judging me? Was he really standing on my porch judging me for being intoxicated?
“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at a ball?” I asked. His eyes were focused intently on mine.
“Change of plans,” he said flatly. I wrinkled my nose at him. Why was he being so pissy? If anyone had the right to be pissy in this situation it was me. I was the one who had gotten the brush off.
“Oh. Well, that sucks for you,” I said. This made him scowl and that made me laugh…so much for my plan to be impassive and cold. I dug around in my purse looking for my keys. My bag was small, you would think that would make it easier to actually find things, but this was not the case.
