But there was no sign of the big man. Instead an appreciative whistle greeted me.
“Lookin’ good, Evie, lookin’ good,” drawled Chip McCreighton, Spencer Prep’s starting quarterback. Any other girl would have giggled with happiness, ecstatic that the Big Man on Campus was paying attention, an alpha male throwing compliments. But I felt nothing. Chip was overbuilt, like a gorilla from the jungle and I was sure he was using steroids to get that big. Plus, he was hopelessly juvenile next to Mr. Phillips. His acne stood out, violently red on his neck, and the blue letter jacket looked immature and boyish.
“Um, hey,” I said setting down my books on a desk in the back, frowning. Where was Mr. Phillips? He was always in the classroom when I got there, he had another class right before ours. Had he slipped out to use the restroom? Was he catching a break outside somewhere?
But Janice, our TA, waltzed to the front of the room.
“Hey Chip, hey everyone,” she said sultrily, perching on a stool next to the projector. “I’m in charge today, Mr. Phillips had an emergency and asked me to run through the powerpoint with you.”
I frowned. An emergency? Why hadn’t he told me? Oh wait, maybe he didn’t have my phone number so couldn’t call or text. But still, I was disappointed and worried. I cared about what happened to him and this was unexpected, a huge letdown after a weekend of waiting.
So I dragged myself through class, barely able to pay attention. I’d been looking forward to seeing Stone, smiling at him, our little secret in the air between us, even more charged because of all the unsuspecting students milling around. And now to be going through a powerpoint slide by slide, with Janice literally reading the words verbatim, was a huge letdown. My body deflated and I felt lifeless, the energy seeping out of me with every passing minute.
Finally the bell rung and I got up, gathering my stuff. I was just about to swing my bookbag over my shoulder when a shadow loomed.
“Hey Evie,” growled a deep voice. It was Chip again, towering over the desk, twice as wide as he should have been. The dude worked out way too much, he looked more like a bodybuilder than an agile, powerful athlete. But to each his own and I smiled politely.
“Hey Chip,” I replied neutrally. I don’t think we’d ever spoken before, I hadn’t even realized he knew my name until fifty minutes ago, but hey, there are always surprises in life. Besides, I was distracted thinking about Stone and where he was.
“Was wondering if you wanted to grab a burger after school today?” Chip growled, eyes eating me up. It didn’t feel like when Mr. Phillips eyed me. When Stone did it, I immediately heated, feeling wanted, aroused, so turned on that I was ready to rip my clothes off at his word. But when Chip did it, it was just okay. Not terrible but more like stepping into a pool of cool water when you were already cold. Just okay.
I was already shaking my head ready to say no when I caught a glimpse of Mindy gesturing at me from the corner of my eye. She was waving frantically while nodding her head up and down, eyes almost bugging out, mouthing the words “yes, yes.” I frowned again. I didn’t want to spend time with Chip, he was nothing compared to Mr. Phillips. I was already in love and wasn’t going to “cheat” on my lover.
But Mindy’s words rang in my head again.
People will see Stone Phillips as a predator preying on a naïve, young girl.
You told him you were in love with him? Oh my god, you’ll come off as so vulnerable.
So against my better judgment, I nodded reluctantly. If this threw a wrench in things then I’d do it, even if it meant suffering through a tortuous fake date.
“Okay sure,” I said, plastering a smile on my face. It was literally painful, my lips twisted upwards, no sign of a matching twinkle in my eyes. But the lunkhead jock was no good at reading body language. Instead, Chip just laughed, so self-assured, confident he’d already won me over.
“Okay great, meet you at Burgers a Go Go on Main and Street. Seven tonight,” he commanded, throwing me a wink before striding off.
And a feeling of dread overcome me, reluctant to spend even a half hour in Chip McCreighton’s presence. It was the right thing to do, for sure. After all, a ton of people would see me and the jock at Burgers a Go Go, it was a hangout spot for the Spencer Prep crowd. So it was a beard of sorts, a red herring. No one would think that I was into Mr. Phillips, would suspect that we were making love illicitly if I was seen with the hottest guy on campus, literally one that dozens of girls wanted to go out with. In fact there were already a couple girls shooting daggers at me now, so jealous of my alleged good fortune.
But still … where was Stone? Where could he be? What was this so-called emergency? I was worried and missed the alpha male, but there was always Biology again tomorrow.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Evie
The date with Chip wasn’t as terrible as I’d expected. I hadn’t bothered to change, just gone in my bodysuit and pleated skirt get-up, too lazy to freshen up. But it’d been the wrong move because Chip’s eyes lit up as soon as I stepped into the burger joint.
“Hey hey hey, you look nice,” he said, a real smile on his face, his eyes complimentary.
And I had to smile back. I’d expected something crass and crude like “Yo yo yo, lookin’ fine lookin’ sassy,” but evidently Chip was better than that. And to my surprise, he paid for my meal as well, whipping out his wallet while we were at the counter.
“No worries, I can treat my best girl to a burger and fries,” he said, glancing at my tray appreciatively. “I like a girl who eats.”
And I just smiled weakly. That was one thing Chip had in common with Stone. They liked bigger girls and I certainly fit that category. In fact, my skirt was feeling a little tight, so I was careful to drink only half of my milkshake, saving the rest for later. Didn’t want to bust out of my clothes unnecessarily, this wasn’t the man I wanted to impress.
So I chatted idly, smiling now and then, not paying much attention and just letting myself go on auto-pilot. If this date had happened even two weeks ago, it would have been a different story. I would have curled my hair, put on a special outfit and probably hung off Chip’s every word, listening breathlessly, gazing into his eyes with adoration. But instead, I was only half present. I was in the booth sure, but my mind was elsewhere, dreaming about Stone Phillips, warming inside whenever I thought of the big man’s eyes, hands and cock. It was bad. I was on a “date” with another male, and yet I was dreaming of Stone’s massive prick, eager to feel it inside again, playing with him, letting him play with me.
So when we finished our food, I shot Chip a bright smile, crumpling my paper wrapper.
“Thanks so much!” I chirped. “The burgers were great, weren’t they?”
They were actually nothing compared to Stone’s home-cooking but Chip had no idea. He just shot me an admiring glance.
“Yeah, I’ve never seen a girl eat an entire SuperDuper Special,” he complimented. “Usually when I take girls out, they get the salad or some vegetarian option,” he snorted, nose scrunching. “That shit is disgusting, wilted leaves and alfalfa sprouts. Not that I take many girls here,” he amended quickly, shooting me a worried glance. “My mom gets the salad sometimes too,” he corrected, stumbling over his words.
And I almost laughed aloud because the hottest guy in school was tongue-tied over me, Evie Jones, the curvy girl. But I was understanding.
“No worries, sometimes I get the salad too,” I said nicely. That was a lie. I never get salad, I hate eating like a rabbit and have never forced myself to diet. But Chip looked relieved, glad he hadn’t mistakenly insulted me.
“Oh yeah,” he agreed, nodding quickly. “Even I’ve gotten the salad sometimes, but not often because I need to build muscle,” he said, hoisting an arm up in a bodybuilder pose. “See? I’ve got the guns,” he said proudly.
Honestly, it was kind of gross. His biceps were so huge that his shirt sleeves were almost bursting, the thin cotton no match for the bulging muscles and vein
s. Some girls would have died for that, but to me he just looked like a jungle animal.
“Yeah,” I said faintly. “Nice, must have worked hard for those.”
The jock nodded sagely.
“But I’m smart too,” he said quickly. “I’m going to State next year on an athletic scholarship, but I met all the minimum academic requirements no problem,” he boasted.
And I sighed. The minimum academic requirements were probably a 1.0 or something else ridiculously low. So it was nothing to brag about but I made myself smile again.
“That sounds wonderful Chip,” I praised. “So glad you didn’t have trouble clearing the GPA hurdle.”
And he puffed up again with pride.
“So where are you headed next year?” he asked.
The truth was I didn’t know. Now that I was involved with Mr. Phillips, everything was different. I wasn’t sure what was next for me, I wanted to be where he was, stay in the vicinity if he was still going to teach at Spencer Prep. I needed to talk things over with him, work things out, figure out our next steps. But no need for Chip to know any of this, so I just hemmed and hawed, feeding him a white lie.
“Oh me too,” I said with some enthusiasm. “My entire family went to State so maybe I’ll head there next year as well.”
It was the wrong thing to say because Chip took my hand, our greasy fingers suddenly entwined.
“Well, I hope we’ll see more of each other then,” he said seriously, his voice low and meaningful. “I’ve had a good time tonight and I hope you did too.”
I colored a little but not from excitement. It was because this was like taking a train to Orlando when you were supposed to be headed to Miami. It was off, but not so off that you were doomed.
So I forced myself to smile, reminding myself this this whole thing was a disguise for my liaison with Mr. Phillips.
“Yeah,” I chirped with what I hoped was whole-hearted enthusiasm. “It’s been fun.”
And Chip just smiled then, his face breaking out into a big grin.
“Oh great,” he breathed, exhaling on a big sigh, the smell of greasy French fries hitting my face. “Great, great.”
And with that, we walked out of the joint, the envious stares of my female classmates trailing my form. Chip drove me home, giving me a quick peck on the lips when I hopped out.
“Evie,” he said seriously, making pointed eye contact. “I had a great time,” he repeated.
And this time, I smiled on auto-pilot.
“Me too!” I chirped. “See ya tomorrow!” I said, hopping out, slinging my purse over my shoulder and practically skipping the steps up to my building. “Bye!” I waved over my shoulder.
And as his car zoomed off, I breathed a sigh of relief. It was finally over. My fake date was finally over and I could relax, let myself dream. It wasn’t that Chip was so bad, he just wasn’t the one I wanted. My alpha male was handsome, sophisticated, an awesome cook and even better in bed. Stone, my mind sang. Stone, my body hummed. I couldn’t wait to see him again and stepped into the elevator, dreaming of the big man.
But he wasn’t in class the next day. Or the day after that. There was no reason really, just that Mr. Phillips had been placed on “administrative leave.” WTF? What was that? People asked questions, our mouths agape, puzzled, confused.
“But why? For what?” pressed Mindy when a vice-principal came in to explain the absence to us. “Did he do something bad?” she said while shooting a meaningful look my way. I nodded at my friend gratefully. There was no way I had the courage to ask the question myself, holding my breath, almost unable to breathe.
But Ms. Henley dodged.
“Mr. Phillips had some disagreements with the administration,” she said firmly. “He’s been put on leave until the issues are resolved.”
That was a non-answer if I’d ever heard one, but no amount of prodding or poking could get anything more.
“Why?” whined Caroline Berman. “He was going to help me study!”
Mindy and I exchanged a shocked glance. Was Stone helping a bunch of female students with their classwork? Caroline was a plump blonde with generous curves, fat lips and a dull smile. What the hell?
And Ms. Henley shot Caroline a sharp look.
“Again, Stone Phillips has been placed on administrative leave and that’s all I can say at this time,” she said smoothly. “Now if you’ll let me introduce your substitute, Luther Wizener taught biology for thirty years in a neighboring school district before retiring last year.”
And the new sub stepped forward, a wizened old man who looked about ready to keel over.
“Thank you, Ms. Henley,” he wheezed, pausing with a hand on a desk to catch his breath. “Let’s start at meiosis. That’s where Mr. Phillips left off, is that right? Cell reproduction, my favorite.”
And I was frozen for the rest of the period, unable to focus, take notes, even pretend I was paying attention.
When Chip tried to talk to me after class, I just shot him a half-hearted smile before fleeing, promising to call him later. But instead, I walked the few blocks to Mr. Phillips’s apartment building.
“Hi,” I said to the doorman. “Evie Jones for Stone Phillips,” I said with as much confidence as I could muster.
And the old man shot me an inscrutable look, stiff in his red and blue uniform.
“Mr. Phillips isn’t available,” he said politely, turning back to his newspaper.
“But you didn’t even call upstairs!” I gasped. “How do you know he’s not available?”
The doorman just shot me another impenetrable look.
“This is the end of my shift,” he said coldly. “I’d know if Mr. Phillips was home.”
I gasped. It was four in the afternoon, where could my lover be? But try as I might, I couldn’t wring any answers out of the doorman.
“Please,” I begged, close to tears. “Just tell him that Evie dropped by, okay?”
And the old guy finally relented a little, nodding reluctantly.
“Fine,” he said shortly. “I’ll give him the message.”
And I trudged to the front door, letting myself out onto the sidewalk, Manhattan suddenly grey and featureless. Where was Stone? He’d been missing for days now, suddenly unavailable, and I was unable to reach him in the only ways I knew how. I was almost resolved to camping out in front of his building except that it seemed too pathetic. Besides the doorman already hated me and was staring at me menacingly through the glass-paned windows. So I took a deep breath and forced myself to start walking, placing one foot in front of another, sightless, numb. Where was my lover? We’d had an incredible time together, our minds connecting, our bodies attuned to one another like two halves of a whole. But where was he now? Why was he inaccessible? My heart filled with dread and I shivered uncontrollably although it wasn’t cold out. I just wanted to know where my man was … and if we could be together going forward.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Evie
A year later …
Chip slung his arm over my shoulders, almost squashing me.
“Heya, big girl,” he said nuzzling my hair fondly. “Ohhh, you smell good.”
And I smiled wanly. Because we’d both matriculated at State and Chip was my wannabe boyfriend. He wasn’t my boyfriend, I couldn’t go that far and made sure he knew it.
“I can’t Chip,” I’d explained halfheartedly one night. “I just can’t.”
“Is it me?” he’d asked, pained, his hulking form awkward on a small dorm couch. “Is it something I did?”
And I shook my head miserably.
“No, it’s me,” I choked. “I’m just not ready.”
Chip had perked up at that.
“Well no worries, that’s nothing that time can’t fix,” he said eagerly, sitting up straight. “If we hang out a lot together, I’m sure you’ll feel more ready as the year goes by,” he said, a hopeful look in his eyes.
And I couldn’t take the puppydog smile, how his eyes pulled dow
n at the corners. So I nodded silently, unable to explain my feelings, how tangled my thoughts were. Because even though it’s been a year since Stone disappeared, my heart’s still with the alpha male. I think of him every day, my body on fire still, lying alone in my dorm bed, dreaming of the big man, his touch, his caresses.
And there’d been more than one instance when I’d moaned his name in my sleep.
“You say some weird things in your sleep,” my new roomie Cara remarked, shooting me a curious look.
“Oh really?” I asked nonchalantly, my heart thumping. Oh god, hopefully I hadn’t screamed anything like “Fuck me Stone!” or “Stroke me here!”
But Cara shook her head, burying her nose in her book again.
“Yeah, you said the ‘The elevator’s on fire’ or something like that,” she said again, avoiding my eyes. “It was weird.”
I colored. It’d probably been something along the lines of “My body’s on fire,” or “My cunt’s on fire,” but good thing Cara had interpreted it as “elevator.” I prayed that I wouldn’t sleep talk again and give myself away.
But that was the extent of my interaction with Stone these days – all in my dreams. I simply had no idea where he’d disappeared to, our Biology sub had become permanent and I never had a chance to spend another darkened afternoon in the locked classroom again.
Instead, my life was totally mundane. I’d graduated from Spencer and matriculated at State, going through the motions, dutifully attending class, studying, even half-heartedly making friends. But I was so distracted that my new friendships were shallow in nature, the girls were more study buddies or casual acquaintances. My only real friend was still Mindy from back home.
“Hey girl,” I dialed her up. Min had decided to live at home while attending cosmetology school because she wanted to be a make-up artist for celebrities, doing camera-ready contouring and even light Botox. I guess you don’t have to be a doctor to administer that stuff, you can be a licensed aesthetician and Mindy was totally into it.
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