“Get out!”
I’m not the one who just said that. Aria took the initiative and screamed the words that I should have been the one to say.
“W-why do I have to be the one to leave?! This is my place!”
“Stubborn people like you need to be punished! Go out and cool your head! Don’t come back for a while!” yelled Aria, swinging her fists in the air and displaying that cat-like tooth.
I’m not really sure what just took place, but I was driven out of my own home. I went to the convenience store and looked through a comic strip magazine with a scowl on my face, but then I figured I couldn’t just stand there reading without purchasing anything, so I bought the issue before heading back home. It was, indeed, my home. Yet I softly opened the door and stepped inside as if I were a burglar.
Oh? I don’t sense Aria’s presence.
I looked around the living room and the kitchen, but she was nowhere to be seen.
Thank heavens. God hasn’t forsaken me, after all. I’m not sure what happened, but it looks like she left.
I breathed a sigh of relief and headed for the lavatory to wash my hands, seeing as how I just came back from being outside.
That’s when I hear a splash of water coming from the bathroom. Upon investigating, I noticed through the opaque glass door that the light was on in the bathroom. I could slightly make out the small silhouette of a person with their legs sticking out of the bathtub, humming a song. So that’s it. She was taking a bath.
…What?!
…Taking a bath?!
I took a step backwards.
I get it. She got rid of me because she wanted to take a bath.
Nervously looking downwards, I saw Aria’s uniform placed in a plastic laundry basket. In her skirt, which had been turned inside out, were the holsters she kept concealed there and the pistols were sticking out of them.
Additionally, two short Japanese swords were jutting out from under her white blouse, which was also turned inside out. I hear the sound of the silhouette, or rather, Aria I should say, getting out of the bathtub and thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest.
Impossible. This can’t be happening.
Already in a state of panic, I was further distressed by another sound.
Ding-dong.
It was the horrible chime of the doorbell.
T-This way of ringing the doorbell…Shirayuki?!
“Whoaaaa?!” As I ran out into the hallway, I stumbled over my own feet and slammed into the wall.
“Ki-kin-chan, what happened? Are you all right?” came Shirayuki’s voice from behind the door.
Uh-oh. She heard that noise just now. I can’t pretend I’m not here anymore.
“Y-yeah, I’m fine.”
Assuming an air of composure, I opened the door. Shirayuki was dressed in her shrine maiden garb consisting of a crimson hakama and white kosode. She was also carrying some sort of bundle in her hands.
“W-What are you dressed like that for?” I asked abruptly, with my eyes periodically darting back towards the bathroom.
“Oh, this? You see, I was running late because of class, but I wanted to make you dinner and deliver it to you as soon as possible, so I came here without changing first… I-If it bothers you, I can go get changed and come back.”
“No, that’s all right.”
I stopped Shirayuki right where she was because from the looks of her, she really would get changed and come back. The class she was talking about was probably SSR. SSR was short for Supernatural Searching Research, an extremely suspicious specialized course to study those with psychic abilities. I didn't know the details of the course, nor did I want to know, but apparently this shrine maiden was a model student in that area as well. But now wasn’t the time to be worrying about that. Currently, a supernatural phenomenon was taking place in my home.
“Say, Kin-chan. You know that e-mail notification that was sent out this morning about the bicycle-bombing incident? Were you…the person involved in that by any chance?”
“Y-yeah. That was me.” I mumbled the words very quickly, but when Shirayuki heard this she literally jumped up ten inches into the air.
“A-Are you okay?! Were you hurt?! Let me treat your wounds!”
“I’m fine. Don’t touch me.”
“O-Okay…. But I’m glad you’re safe. Nevertheless, the culprit is unforgivable for targeting you like that. I’m going to rip whoever did this to shreds and bury the person in concr…I mean, arrest him!” I had a feeling I heard an odd word surface in the declaration she just made, but I must have been hearing things. Yeah, I’ll leave it at that.
“Don’t worry about it. Shootouts are an everyday occurrence here, aren’t they? This conversation is over.”
“O-Okay. Um…sure.” Shirayuki looked as if she still had more to say, but nodded her head.
I wish a certain twin-pigtailed girl would take an example from Shirayuki and be a bit more compliant.
“…But…um…it feels like there’s something…different about you tonight, Kin-chan.”
“D-Different? In what way?”
“You seem to be a bit more distant than usual…”
Uh-oh. Why is this girl so perceptive?
“I-It’s just your imagination! More importantly, tell me why you’re here! What did you come for?”
What I really need to be doing is getting rid of her ASAP. If Aria comes out into the hallway with nothing but a bath towel wrapped around her, things are gonna get ugly.
“U-Um, I wanted to give you this.” Fidgeting, Shirayuki handed me the bundle she was carrying. “I made rice with bamboo sprouts for dinner. They’re in season now…and starting tomorrow I’m going to be training at Mount Osore, so I won’t be able to make you any meals for a while…”
“O-Oh. Thanks a lot. Well, that’s all you came here for, right? You should hurry on home, now. Okay?”
I accepted the bundle and Shirayuki smiled cheerfully. Her cheeks also took on a cherry-color.
“T-To think I made you two meals in one day, i-it’s almost like I’m your wife. Oh, what am I saying? Ha ha. I’m so weird. W-What do you think…Kin-chan?”
“I know, I know! I know, so please Shirayuki get going!”
“‘You know?’ K-Kin-chan, a-are you saying that…I’m like your w-wi…” In response to my reply, which I had not even given much thought, Shirayuki went into a panic and looked at me with her face brimming with emotion. …Splash.
Like an old pond…
From the bathroom…
The sound of water.
Inside my chest, my heart jumped and found a new home somewhere near my shoulder.
“Hm? Do you have company?”
“No, there’s no one here but me!” I pushed her along with an arm thrust like a professional sumo wrestler.
“…Kin-chan. Are you hiding something from me?” For some reason, the light vanished from Shirayuki’s eyes and her face became utterly expressionless.
“No! Of course not! I’m not hiding Aria-! I mean anything!”
“…I see. That’s good.” Shirayuki put on a smile as refreshing as a spring breeze and finally turned to leave.
T-thank God. That takes care of “Scylla.” Going back into the apartment, I set the bamboo sprout rice aside and ran into the bathroom.
No time to lose. Now I gotta do something about “Charybdis.”
Considering Aria’s violent nature, if she found out that I came back while she was taking a bath, there was a good chance she’d mercilessly come after me with her guns blazing. I had to take away her pistols and swords. With this single thought in my head, I kneeled down in front of the laundry basket and plunged my hand inside. And at that very instant, Miss Aria opened the door wide from the bathing section.
“……!”
There was a long silence as we stared into each other’s eyes, and that pleasant scent of gardenias wafted into the bathroom. Aria, with her twin pigtails untied and long hair flowing down around her
completely adolescent body, uttered a single word.
“P-Pervert…” she said as she covered her breasts with her right arm and her lower half with her left. The goose bumps became visible on her body when she saw my hands buried in her clothes.
“I-It’s not what you think!” I stood up and presented the weapons gripped in my hand to prove my innocence.
Doing so was a mistake.
Being the nervous wreck that I was, I didn’t realize that there was a piece of cloth-like material caught on each of the two swords in my hands. One was dangling from the right sword, and the other was dangling from the left sword. I stood there hoisting Aria’s bra and panties as if they were hand flags, each decorated with a childish pattern of symbols from a deck of cards.
“DIE!!!!”
“Uwaah!”
Aria lunged at me before I had a chance to go into hysteria mode and kicked me at an angle that sent me flying backwards with my arms and legs out in front of me. She retrieved her undergarments, but I desperately held onto her weapons. “You really need to die, you pervert!!” Aria finished by using her other leg to land a flying knee strike in my face. I think my head caved in about ten inches.
Lord.
I just have one question.
What did I ever do? Why did I have to go through this?
One more question. What’s the name of this erotic game my life has turned into?
On second thought, I guess this really isn’t the time to be asking such nonsensical questions.
“Cross this line and you’re dead.”
That’s what was written next to the line which was scribbled on the floor I was looking at from the bottom bunk of a bunk bed. That was obviously written with a marker—a permanent maker.
I looked up reproachfully at the second bunk bed on the other side of the room where a single pigtail was hanging down from the top bunk.
Damn it. I’d love to yank down on that as hard as I can.
“…Hee hee…peach bun pyramid…”
Aria must have been in a deep slumber because she was talking in her sleep and I could hear her drooling.
Man, this is irritating. Pyramid? What the hell is she talking about?
This was my apartment. In a situation like this, there shouldn’t be any need to be considerate to a vicious trespasser, but the fact of the matter was, Aria, who had changed into some light, pink camisole-like pajamas (are those what you call negligee?), was in my bedroom, pistols at the ready. I might have been sleepy, but with Aria having regained possession of her weapons I had no choice but to lie here, resentfully waiting for her to fall asleep first.
The reason there were two bunk beds was because this apartment was originally made to house four people. Naturally, Aria occupied the top bunk of the other bunk bed since it was the farthest away from mine, but I think the booby trap lead wire and the devices resembling anti-personnel landmines that I was seeing on the floor must have been due to a hallucination. That’s what I’m going to believe.
But this girl really is a pain in the butt. She selfishly forces herself into my life, sets up her own territory, and then of all things, orders me to go back to Assault and conduct Butei operations with her. There isn’t anything I particularly want to be in the future. I could be anything. Or I could even be nothing. But I know I don’t want to be a Butei anymore. That’s the one thing I’m definitely not going to be. Feeling rather uneasy, those were the thoughts going through my mind as I was gradually overtaken by sleep.
“Kinji, wake up, you idiot!”
I was woken up by a sudden hammer punch to my stomach and subsequently had a foot planted squarely in my face. That foot in black over-the-knee socks was then promptly twisted back and forth. Light was streaming in through the window. It was morning.
“What are you doing?!” The words came out garbled since I had a foot covering my mouth.
“Breakfast! Hurry up and make it!”
“I’m…not…making…your…breakfast!” I grabbed Aria’s ankle with both hands and lifted her foot off of my face.
“If you don't make me breakfast, I’ll go hungry!”
“So be hungry, you idiot!”
“Idiot?! Someone like you is calling me an idiot?!”
Someone like me? What’s that supposed to mean?
After dodging an onslaught of punches, I rolled out of bed and darted out of the room the instant I hit the floor.
Why does simply waking up require me to make a daring escape like James Bond?
“I’m hungry! I’m hungry, I’m hungry, I’m hungry, I’m hungry, I’m hungry!”
“If you’ve got enough energy to scream that loud, you don’t need anything to eat!”
While dodging, blocking, and parrying all of Aria’s incoming punches and kicks as she continually griped at me, I got changed, grabbed my cell phone and pistol, and picked up my bag. The whole ordeal reminded me of the hand-to-hand combat training I went through in Assault. When I got to the door, I ducked under a high kick, put on my shoes, and quickly stood up.
“Aria!” With my hand on her smooth, glossy forehead, I held her at arm’s length as she persistently threw punches at me. Thanks to the difference in length in our arms, her punches harmlessly found no other target than the air.
This is good. I think I’ve started to figure out the trick to dodging her attacks. Not that this is something I want to get used to.
“What?” Unable to reach me, Aria calmed down a little bit and looked up at me with a scowl on her face.
“I’m going to wait a few minutes before heading to school. You go on ahead first.”
“Why?”
“For every possible reason. Just try leaving this apartment with me lined up besides you and see what happens. If anyone sees us, it’s gonna be a big headache. This is a men’s dormitory, after all.”
“You’re just trying to come up with a good excuse to get away from me!”
“We’re in the same class, and we sit right next to each other! I can’t get away from you!”
Having said it out loud, I started to lament my misfortune, but it was the truth and there was nothing I could do about it. Aria puffed out her cheeks in discontent.
“Sulking with your face blown up like a balloon isn’t going to help. We’re leaving this apartment separately.”
“I don’t care what you say! You’re not getting away! You're my slave!” Aria grasped my arm with both hands and stood in a way to show how determined she was not going to let me go.
“Let…go…of…me, you little…!”
“Gah!”
Chomp!
Would you believe it? Aria bared that tooth of hers at me and bit into my hand.
“Ow, ow, ow, ow!”
What are you, a lion cub?
Wrenching my hand out of Aria’s mouth, I looked at my wristwatch and saw that it was seven fifty-four.
Crap. I’m gonna miss the seven fifty-eight bus. This isn’t the time to be screwing around. Starting today, I’m never going to miss that bus again. After all, my bicycle was reduced to scrap metal.
“My God, you are the biggest pest ever!”
With no other choice, I left the apartment dragging Aria, who was still clinging onto my arm, behind me.
This girl’s such a nuisance! A huge nuisance! A colossal nuisance! God damn! But she has this nice sweet and sour fragrance about her! It’s so annoying! This is bad. I can’t let things go on like this. My everyday life is currently falling apart because of this incomprehensible “Aria invader”. If I’m going to fulfill my goal of becoming an Average Joe, first I have to reclaim my peaceful lifestyle.
Therefore, I spent all of my time after fourth period devising a plan to deal with Aria. From first through fourth period, general education classes were conducted at Butei High just like any other high school, and from fifth period on, each student went through training in his or her own specialized courses. Aria was probably at Assault, participating in combat training right about now. While she
was busy with that, I decided to go somewhere she wouldn’t be able to find me and work on preparations for a resistance movement. To that end, for the first time in a long time, I went to Inquesta to accept an assignment, which would allow me to leave school grounds.
“Kin--ji.”
Upon exiting the building in which the Inquesta department was located, I fell to my knees in despair to see Aria standing there waiting for me. My plan was thwarted before it had even started.
“Why…are you here?!”
“Because you’re here.”
“That doesn’t answer my question. Is it okay for you to ditch your Assault class?”
“I already have enough credits to graduate,” Aria said, pulling down her lower eyelid with her index finger and sticking her tongue out at me.
Looking at her, I felt like I was going to faint. A girl—a pretty little girl at that—had been waiting for me outside a school building. This was the situation that all high school guys across the country dreamed about. However, when that girl was a ferocious hellcat who threatened you with twin pistols for every little thing, the situation was admittedly ruined.
“So, what kind of jobs do you usually take?” Aria asked.
“It’s none of your business. They’re simple jobs befitting an E-rank Butei such as myself. Leave me alone.”
After a certain amount of training, Butei High students could immediately accept paid jobs from civilians. If students happened to be at the scene of an incident while they were out in the city, they could resolve that as well. It was the achievements accumulated from these jobs and the scores one earned on various tests that determined what rank, from A to E, a student was given. There was an even higher special rank, S, and it was the rank I was given after taking the entrance exam. Well…it was thanks to be being in hysteria mode that was caused by Shirayuki though.
“You’re an E-rank?”
“That’s right. I didn’t take the final exam in the third semester last year. More to the point, rank doesn’t hold any meaning for me anymore.”
“Yeah, I don’t care about rank, either. But forget about that. Tell me about the job you accepted.”
“I’m not obligated to tell you anything.”
Aria the Scarlet Ammo (novel), Volume 1 Page 5
