French Letters

by Jonathan Miller

  ESPRIT

  Nasty wit

  The bel esprit was always thought to be the best possible social passport in France. If the English are understated, ironic and perhaps falsely modest, and the Americans oversharing and sometimes loud, the tradition of esprit in France is wit that is razor-sharp, wounding, often cruel, seasoned with unabashed one-up-manship and linguistic pyrotechnics, wrapped in a veneer of phony politesse. Those without this trait d’esprit, even the very rich, such as many of Molière’s characters, are simply laughed at. This is social death by mockery. The film Ridicule, (Patrice Leconte, 1996), set in the court of Louis XVI, exposes the viciousness of the courtiers, vying with their esprit to humiliate others. Esprit lives on in France, but is fading in a culture under increasing Anglo-Saxon influence, especially the importation of notions of what is considered politiquement correct (political correctness).

  ÉTAT, L’

  state worship

  ‘A people accustomed to live under a Prince, should they by some eventuality become free, will with difficulty maintain their freedom,’ observed Niccolo Machiavelli. In secular France, the state has become practically a religion and its citizens required to practice a form of statolâtrie (state-idolatry). The French state is a mighty apparatus with its own secular articles of faith, even its own trinity - Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité. Since 2004, the state’s share of GDP has risen from 44 to 58 per cent, despite the privatisation of numerous state enterprises, although in effect they have become merely paraétatique (semi-governmental). The modern French state is a not-so benign growth from the administrative machinery conceived by the dictator Napoléon Bonaparte, and indeed from the monarchy that preceded him.

  While the precise geometry and competences of the state have shifted through the numerous kingdoms, empires and Republics, the tendency towards dirigisme (centralised state power) has never waned. The state serves not only to control all aspects of French life but also to fund jobs in an effort to pretend that the government has a strategy to address chronic unemployment. President François Hollande was elected after promising to hire 60,000 new teachers - although nobody thought more teachers was the real answer to the crisis in the national education system. He might have done better to fire 60,000 under-performing ones.

  The omnipotence and omnipresence of the state remains the default grandiose pretension of the French, the delusion being that there is no problem for which the state does not have an answer. The state remains enduringly attached to the vainglorious symbolic bling of the Sun King. Presiding at the head of the modern state is a de facto elected emperor, the President of the Republic, housed in the glittering Elysée palace, a fleet of Dassault and Airbus jets at his beck and call, a vast entourage of uniformed flunkies at hand and a female retinue to service his sexual demands.

  The state, from the immense ministries in Paris to its préfecture outposts in every department, is omnipresent and omnipotent. It has influence in every town hall, with its daily bulletins and circulars. Its 5.6 million fonctionnaires (civil servants) staff every school, whose curriculum is decided at the Ministry of Education, in Paris. All of the departmental, regional and local governments depend on central government for subsidies and transfer payments. Decentralisation is an unimaginable concept for the French, who remain firmly attached to the idea of une République unique et indivisible (a singular and indivisible state).

  ÉTUDIANTS

  Rebels against change

  Chatting with the president of an important French regional university, I asked him why his institution couldn’t do better. His answer was blunt. ‘Because we can’t select our students and we can’t make them pay.’ Students are curiously conservative and resistant to change. They demonstrate against any proposed reform, not just of the universities, but of France generally. Writing in 2015 for the Huffington Post French edition, William Martinet, president of the French national union of students, denounced the government’s efforts to reform the labour market (feeble though they are) as a capitulation to the demands of the bosses and an attack on the young. 25 per cent youth unemployment might suggest some need for a more flexibility, but it is safe to say that Mr Martinet will never work a day in his life outside the political bubble that he inhabits as a professional student leader.

  It is an oddity that many university students in France appear to be studying commerce although there is very little actual commerce occurring in France. There are no fees, or at most charges of just a few hundred euros to attend universities in France hence no real economic value has to be put on getting one degree or another. When former president Nicolas Sarkozy timidly suggested increasing the role of partnerships between universities and the private sector, university students declared a strike. Lycée students are equally reactionary and are represented by their own union, invariably led by a left-winger from one of the elite Paris high schools. They practise for adulthood by organising strikes at which privileged students from smart arrondissements demonstrate against reform, while taking selfies with their latest iPhones on Instagram.

  EURO, L’

  France’s Trojan horse

  The euro is mostly hated by ordinary French people, and for good reason. But their opinion doesn’t count, as no mainstream political party ever questions this supreme manifestation of French economic self-delusion. The currency was introduced with a barrage of propaganda. ‘It’s simple,’ said the signs at every French petrol pump, boulangerie and post office in 1998. ‘One euro is 6.55957 francs’ - five decimal places.

  In the absence of meaningful structural reform, the euro has sealed France’s only remaining escape hatch to prosperity, preventing the French from devaluing their currency to make themselves at least more competitive on price. The euro was promised to be the launchpad for growth but it is not the case that the average French family feels any better off today than it did in 2008. House prices have barely moved or have fallen, except in Paris where many of the best apartments are bought by foreigners. Wages have not greatly increased; energy and food have risen. France’s share of world trade has fallen. Economic growth is stagnant. There has been no job creation. So whatever promises might have been made about the euro as a ticket to prosperity have not been fulfilled. In theory, membership of the euro ought to force structural reforms on members unable to devalue their currency and hence inflate away their debts. This is what the Germans think, and they have prospered. That’s not been how the French govern and the price has been paid in a stalled economy where private dynamism is harshly punished. President François Hollande believes France can escape the euro straightjacket by creating a new economic government for the euro zone complete with a high commissioner and its own parliament. That would mean more jobs for his friends, but the Germans see the idea as ridiculous.

  EUROPEAN UNION

  Article of faith

  Pay no attention to the EU flags flying outside every government building in France. The European Union is as unloved as its money, except by the elite, who profit handsomely from its patronage. The left hates Europe for its alleged responsibility for the policy of austerity. The right hates it for diminishing national sovereignty. Ordinary people hate it because since its introduction the cost of living, taxes and unemployment have all increased. But as they found out after voting against Valéry Giscard-d’Estaing’s (VGE) proposed European constitution, which was imposed anyway by treaty, their opinion does not count. The European Union is an article of faith for the French political and media establishment and opinions to the contrary are not considered respectable. The French political elite is a winner with their sinecures in Brussels, Luxembourg and Strasbourg, the rest of France is a loser and many voters are turning to a dead-end nationalism in frustration. The many promises made for Europe, not least that the single market would stimulate another trente glorieuses (30 glorious years) of prosperity in France, have proved hollow. Marine Le Pen’s Front National (National Front) is openly anti-European, protectionist and nationalistic. So are many o
n the extreme left.

  EXCEPTION FRANÇAISE

  Alibi for ignoring reality

  All-purpose excuse why France is entitled to ignore economic reality. A central policy supporting the psychotic French belief that they are capable of withdrawing from the world into a contented bubble of their own. It is a guiding principle of French economic diplomacy that the French are exceptional and are entitled to exempt themselves from international trade agreements in order to protect the French language and culture and even yoghurt (see yaourt). Numerous other countries also claim to be exceptional including the United States and Russia but while the Americans claim their exceptionalism represents a manifest destiny to alter the world in its own image, and the Russian claim their exceptional destiny is to reclaim its shattered empire, the French adopt exceptionalism to mean the ability to erect trade barriers.

  EXISTENTIALISME

  France’s enigma machine

  Philosophy identified with Jean-Paul Sartre, re-invented as term used in international diplomacy to describe threats to existence, i.e., existential threat. France faces plenty of existential threats: political, economic and social, but existentialism itself has never been straightforward to define (Sartre’s book on it was titled L’être et le néant: Essai d’ontologie phénoménologique(Being and Nothingness: An Essay on Phenomenological Ontology) and argued that ‘existence precedes essence.’ Perhaps it is unfair to describe this dense work as highly seasoned drivel but it is easy to parody. I doubt Flaubert would take it very seriously and it conspicuously lacks any significant modern following. Ambrose Bierce defined philosophy as ‘a route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing,’ which perfectly sums up existentialism. See surréalisme.

  F

  FACEBOOK

  Wildly popular in France

  One third of French people use Facebook, roughly 22 million. But Facebook has never employed more than a few dozen marketing people in France. In June 2015 I received enthusiastic tweets from the industry minister Emmanuel Macron and the mayor of Paris Anne Hidalgo announcing that Facebook was to open an artificial intelligence laboratory in Paris. Perhaps it was time to re-evaluate my thesis that France was uncompetitive in terms of the new information economy. But then I looked into the story and discovered the number of researchers to be employed was, er, six. And that the number was to expected grow to, er, 12, by the end of the year. So only 3.5 million unemployed people to go.

  FEMMES

  A forty-year lag

  In the land that claims to have invented feminism, women have noticeable second-class status, compared to their British and American sisters. Simone de Beauvoir (partner of Sartre) wrote a foundation text of feminism, Le Deuxième sexe (The Second Sex). Feminist politics in France is largely one of gesture. The French government has banned skinny fashion models as inappropriate role models for young girls. There are some female politicians and even a handful of women patrons (bosses). But in terms of women represented at the top, French institutions look like British ones in about 1985 and French women are still celebrated for their look and style more than for their brains. The average salary of a female engineer in France is 47,850 euros, compared to 59,000 euros for men. The French cartoonist Jean-Jacques Sempé once drew a whimsical cover for The New Yorker magazine titled ‘The Secret Shame of Paris,’ depicting a predawn police roundup of portly women. It was a dig at the then-current wave of books by British and American authors obsessed with French women. Those would be the French women who don’t get fat, raise perfectly disciplined children and always wear matching underwear. Female bosses like the Englishwoman Linda Jackson, chief executive of Citroën, Martine Jourdren, boss of Brittany Ferries, and Nathalie Loiseau, director of the École Nationale d’Administration (ENA) are highly exceptional.

  FÊTE DE LA MUSIQUE

  A great American idea

  In 1981 the minister of culture, Jack Lang, decreed that the first day of summer should be a national festival of music and since then it has become a joyous global phenomenon, now celebrated in 700 cities in 120 countries. The idea originated with Joel Cohen, an American who was a producer for France Musique, one of the French national radio stations, roughly equivalent to BBC Radio Three. The festival is celebrated in almost every town and city in France on June 21, and often in even very small villages, as hundreds of thousands of amateur and professional musicians perform in the streets. All performances are free and all performers play for nothing. Subsequently, the idea has been extended and in many cities during the summer including Montpellier, Pézenas and Sainte-Maxime there are now weekly estivales (summer evenings) featuring performances, street food and, of course, wine. These events pass without the vandalism and random aggression so typical in British cities on weekend evenings. Perhaps because the combination of wine, food and street music, with a massive presence of families and people of all generations, promotes nothing other than bonhomie (geniality). British binge-drinking culture, fuelled largely by beer, is entirely different. The Fête de la musique, the estivales and similar summer festivities throughout France represent fraternity at its very best.

  FINKIELKRAUT, ALAIN

  Public intellectual

  Philosopher, republican, Zionist, member of the Académie Française, started out as a Maoist before breaking with his friends over the 1973 Yom Kippur war when he supported Israel. Glorious academic career including spell at University of California teaching French literature, returned to Paris where he has published on numerous subjects but especially anti-semitism and, recently, the barbarism of money.

  FLAUBERT, GUSTAVE

  Snubbed by the Académie Française

  Still the indispensable French writer, full of insights that explain ancient and modern France. Nowhere near as prolix as such contemporaries as Émile Zola, or as long-winded as Marcel Proust (À la recherche du temps perdu) or Victor Hugo. But never mind the width, feel the quality. Inspired Franz Kafka, among numerous others. Understood just what strange, conceited animals humans can be. Among many great French writers never elected to the Académie Française. A worldview informed by spells in England, where he learned the language in the best of all possible ways (in bed). Was a law student, hated it and quit. Lived in Paris, hated it and left. Creator of Madame Bovary, the classic tale of adultery and provincial banality, and L’Éducation sentimentale, alongside Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables, in which he tells the story of the Paris commune through the story of a young man and his love for an older woman.

  FONCTIONNAIRES

  Pinnacle of French success

  In France, the height of professional achievement is not to be a successful business person, or professional, but an official of the Republic, a fonctionnaire. There are 5.6 million functionaries of the state from the elite hauts fonctionnaires (senior officials) who are graduates of the grandes écoles, to every other servant of the state including school teachers, gendarmes,officers of la police nationale, and the clerks who intermittently attend to the customer service windows at the motor vehicle registration department, in between cigarette breaks. For all functionaries there are generous pensions and a near-impossibility of ever being fired. The retirement age is between 60 and 62, depending on the official’s date of birth but for those deemed to have physically demanding jobs, it is possible to retire at 55. For the grandest there are additionally all sorts of unpublicised perks such as appartements de fonction (official residences), for which occupants are charged peppercorn rents. At the bottom of the totem pole are the territorial functionaries, employed by the town halls and regional governments, who may pick up your garbage, or answer the phone at the mairie. There are especially spectacular allowances for those working in the overseas departments who get hardship pay in the form of tax-free indemnités (allowances), extended paid home leaves and free housing.

  FOOT

  Football

  Football in France is corrupt, racist and under the influence of deeply dubious personalities. In May 2015, the French football federation ac
tually voted to keep FIFA boss Sepp Blatter in his job after the FBI and Swiss police swooped on the global football organisation accusing it of deep-seated corruption. The then secretary general of Fifa, Blatter’s right-hand man, is Jérôme Valcke, a French former journalist, accused by the FBI of implication in a $10 million bribe to three FIFA executive committee members to support South Africa’s bid to host the 2010 World Cup. The FBI suggests bribes were paid in the run-up to the selection of France as World Cup host in 1998, but doesn’t say to whom or by whom.

  The French football federation was instrumental in helping Qatar win the rights to the world cup in 2022, allegedly on orders from former president Nicolas Sarkozy, who was sucking up to Qatar at the time. Immediately following the decision, Qatar ordered 50 Airbus A350 jets and later was to buy French-made Rafale fighter jets in a 6.3 billion euro contract concluded by President François Hollande. According to the magazine France Football, former president Nicolas Sarkozy held a lunch at the Elysée in November 2010 at which the guests were then crown prince (now Emir) of Qatar, Tami bin Hamad al-Thani and Michel Platini, president of UEFA. Following this lunch, Platini switched his support for the 2022 cup from the United States to Qatar, and Qatar bought PSG, the Paris football club. Qatar also got the rights to launch four sports channels in France to compete against Canal+, which Sarkozy loathed. The Qatari channels have the rights to major football tournaments in France and the UEFA champions league. Platini denies any wrongdoing and is presenting himself as a clean-hands candidate to replace Blatter. Platini’s son Laurent, FIFA executive committee member for France, was subsequently employed by Burrda, a Qatar-owned sports company.