“I’ll get the nurse.”
A few seconds later, a smiling middle-aged woman entered the room. “Good morning.” She checked the IV, then put a blood pressure cuff around her upper arm and pushed some buttons on the poll. The contraption tightened painfully, then finally loosened. “That looks good,” the woman said. “Pulse is in the normal range. Any headache or nausea?”
“No,” Maddie said. “Just thirsty. And I need to pee,” she added.
The nurse grasped Maddie’s hand firmly. “Slowly, let’s get you up on the side of the bed.”
Maddie nodded. The room spun a bit, but after she sat there a second, she felt fine.
“How’s that?”
“Okay. Hang onto the poll, and I’ll walk you into the bathroom.”
A.J. stepped out of the way, but stayed close. He was still near when she’d finished, and this time he took her arm to help her back to the bed. “Have we been here all night?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
After she’d lain down and A.J. had tucked the covers up around her, she glanced at the room. “I don’t remember this from last night.”
“They moved you around five.”
“And I slept through it?”
A.J. nodded and sat on the edge of the bed. “They gave you a sedative.”
It was all coming back to her now. The man in the waiting room. A gun pressed to her head. The shot he fired. She felt a tear roll down her cheek, but felt numb and not in control of her emotions. “That poor man . . . is he dead?”
A.J. took her hand and brushed away her tear. “Don’t think about that now.”
“How can I not think about that? He is, isn’t he? He shot himself after he let me go.”
“I’m sorry,” A.J. said. “I should never have brought you here.”
“What are you talking about? You didn’t bring me here. I made the decision to come on my own. Who could have imagined something like this would happen?”
“I should have,” A.J. said stoically. “I know why people come here. I know what they’re going through because I’m going through it myself.”
“Stop. You don’t carry a gun with the intent to do harm.”
No emotion showed on his face. “I don’t know what I might do.”
“Don’t say that, A.J. Don’t.” She felt the tears falling again, helpless to stop them.
“You don’t know what goes on inside my head, Maddie.” He stood and moved to the window. “I did a lot of thinking last night.”
She swiped at the tears with the back of her hand.
“Don’t,” she said. “I know where you’re going with this. Don’t say it. We’ve both been through something, and we’re emotional. We need time to process.”
“You mean you need time.”
“Yes. I need time, and I also need you with me.” She stopped and pressed her lips together before continuing. “A.J.?”
One second he seemed too far away, and the next he was there, holding her the way she needed. With his arms around her, she could do this. She didn’t want to contemplate being alone again. Not now that she’d tasted a life with A.J. in it.
A few hours later, after Maddie had been examined and had given her statement to the authorities at the V.A., they were in A.J.’s truck and headed home. She’d been instructed to take it easy, rest. They’d given her a prescription for a sedative and had offered counseling if she felt she wanted it. She’d called her children to let them know she was all right. Apparently, the incident had made the news. She still needed to call her mother and Alayna, but she was inexplicably exhausted.
They pulled into the driveway of her grandmother’s house. Maddie turned to A.J. “You didn’t want to take me to your place?”
“I thought you’d be more comfortable here,” he said and got out of the truck. Alayna stepped out onto the front porch and approached them. He held the door and helped Maddie down, then Alayna wrapped her up in a tight hug.
“You’re here,” Maddie said. “Why are you here?”
“Where else would I be?” Alayna said. She pulled away and took Maddie’s arm in a firm grip. “You must be freezing. Let’s get you inside. They’re talking about snow, did you hear?”
While Alayna talked non-stop, Maddie watched A.J. He was too quiet—too solemn. He blamed himself. They needed to talk, but she just wanted to sleep. “I think I need to lie down.”
Alayna walked her right into the bedroom. “I made soup.”
“That sounds good,” Maddie lied. “I just need a nap first.” She unzipped her pants and let them fall to the floor, then swept her sweater off. Next, she looked around for something, but wasn’t sure what. She walked over to the closet and pulled out one of A.J.’s flannel shirts and wrapped up in it, then got into bed.
When Maddie woke, the room seemed too dark and empty. “A.J.?”
Alayna popped into the room. “You’re awake. Are you hungry? The soup is still hot.”
Maddie got up and walked into the bathroom to pee. Alayna followed, and Maddie didn’t care. “Where’s A.J.?”
“He went out.”
“Where did he go?”
“I’m not sure.”
Maddie stood and flushed the toilet, then washed her hands. “Stop evading. Is he coming back?”
“Yes, I think so.”
Maddie went into the living room, looking for her purse.
“What are you doing?” Alayna asked.
“Where’s my cell?”
“Here,” Alayna said, and handed Maddie her cell.
Maddie pulled up her favorites and pressed A.J.’s name. He answered on the third ring.
“Where are you?” Maddie said.
“How are you feeling?” he countered.
“Better. Why aren’t you here?”
“I had some things to take care of,” he said. “The doctor said you would probably sleep most of the day, so I thought—”
“Are you coming back?”
“I thought I’d give you some time.”
“Did I ask for time?” she countered, getting angry. “I don’t want to be alone tonight, A.J.,” she said, feeling vulnerable and raw.
“Alayna’s there.”
“I’m not sleeping with her.”
That drew a chuckle from him. “You are better. I’ll be there soon.”
Relief flooded her as she disconnected the call.
In the kitchen, Alayna set a bowl of soup and a plate of crackers in front of her. “You know I love you, right?”
Maddie sat and watched her friend go the refrigerator and return with a bottle of water. “Just say what’s on your mind.”
Alayna sat. “Okay. That man is not in this with you. He’s running.”
“I know,” Maddie said and tasted the soup. “Mmm. Tomato bisque with asiago cheese?”
“Your favorite from Tom’s Deli.”
Maddie sighed her pleasure. “I love you so much right now.”
“I know,” Alayna mimicked her. “And what do you mean you know? Why would you be with a man who’s got one foot in and one foot out, so to speak?”
“He’s working through some difficult issues,” Maddie said, and then bit into a captain’s wafer. The buttery flavor tasted so good.
“Which usually has you saying ‘bye-bye’.”
“Not this time. He’s worth waiting for.”
Alayna sat back in her chair. “Oh my God. You love him.”
Maddie felt herself blush like a teenager with her first crush. “I hear there’s a first time for everything.” She smiled. “I thought I was finished with firsts, but I was wrong.”
“Wow. I’m going to need a second.” She leaned forward and pushed on Maddie’s shoulder. “The mighty Madeline Greene has fallen. Hearts all over Manhattan are breaking. I can hear them now.”
“Stop.” She scraped the bottom of the bowl and licked her spoon. “He’s meeting Dixon and Taylor at Thanksgiving . . . I hope.”
“What does that mean?”
&
nbsp; “He’s thinking about it. One of his issues involves being in New York.”
“That’s a big issue since you live there.”
Maddie took her friend’s hand. “Thank you for coming.”
“Of course.” She took the empty bowl. “Do you want more?”
“No, thanks.” Maddie uncapped the water and drank. “I feel so helpless,” she said as she watched Alayna put the dishes and the leftovers away, but she didn’t have the energy to help her.
“You’ve suffered a trauma. You need time.”
Like A.J. She understood him so much better now. Not that what she’d experienced in any way compared, but she got it.
“You must have been terrified,” Alayna said. “If something had happened to you—” She held up her hand and swallowed hard. “I can’t even.”
“I knew I’d be okay,” Maddie said, “because A.J. was there with me.”
“He’s pretty shaken, too, you know. I didn’t want to say anything earlier, but I had to shoo him out of here. His hovering was making me a wreck.”
“I wish he’d been here when I woke.” But he’d be back soon. She wanted to curl up in his lap and feel his arms around her.
“I made up the guest room. I’ll make myself scarce when he comes back.”
“You’re staying?”
“At least for the rest of the week, and there won’t be any debate on the matter,” Alayna said firmly.
Maddie laughed. “Are you the boss, or am I?”
“It’s fluid at the moment. Want to sit in front of the fire?”
“You read my mind.”
They walked into the sitting room, and Maddie settled into the corner of the couch with a throw over her legs. The door opened and a blast of cold air came in with A.J.
“Hi,” he said, looking from Maddie to Alayna.
Alayna staged a yawn, said, “Goodnight,” and disappeared into the guest room.
Maddie held out her hand and A.J. joined her.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Good, but I think I’d be much better with a kiss.”
He brushed her lips with his and lingered for a moment, but pulled away. “How are you really?” he asked.
With her hand curved around his neck, she said, “I finally feel like I’ve slept enough. My head feels clearer.”
“Still feeling emotional?”
Maddie shook her head. “I’m sad about what happened to that man—Justin. It’s tragic.”
“We should talk about what happened when you feel up to it,” he said, serious—too serious.
“We will, but tonight, I just want you to hold me.”
He sat and pulled her close, then pressed kisses to the top of her temple. “How can you want to be near me?”
She pulled back and frowned. “Why would you say that?”
“I brought this into your life. You could have any man you want, and you’re with one who’s dealing with emotional trauma—one who’s bringing you into contact with others with the same issues. You should go back to your life and forget me.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Hell no, it’s not what I want.” He gripped her shoulders. “I’m a selfish bastard, and I want you right here with me. You make me feel like I can beat this.”
She gripped his arms. “Then I’m with you. Stop telling me to leave.”
“But I can’t keep you safe. When I saw that man put a gun to your head, it nearly killed me.”
“But you stopped him from hurting me. You knew what to say to get him to release me.” She kissed him. “You saved my life.”
“You should have never been in danger,” he said roughly.
“I’m safe. We’re together. That’s all that matters.”
She moved into his lap and wrapped her arms around his waist. When his arms settled around her, warm and tight, she knew everything would be all right.
They sat there like that for a long time, neither talking, just holding each other. Finally, she asked, “Are you hungry?”
He shook his head. His eyes searched hers. His hands on her were tender. She stood and held out her hand. “Come to bed.”
A.J. followed her into the room they shared. She got in bed and watched as he undressed to his boxer briefs. He slid in beside her and pulled her close. “I need to feel you inside me,” she said. When she’d pushed his briefs down, he lifted her leg to his hip and entered her. Neither of them moved. They just stared into each other’s eyes.
“I love you,” she said.
“I love you, too. So much.”
She tightened around him, and he began to move, slowly, tenderly at first. And then his strokes became surer, stronger. They didn’t kiss. Never stopped looking at each other, until they came together. The release of tension felt healing, right.
Afterward, A.J. slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom. When he returned, he held a cloth and cleaned her so gently and lovingly. Moments later, he turned off the light and pulled her close.
“Stay with me tonight,” she said. “Don’t leave after I fall asleep.”
“Maddie . . .”
“I trust you.”
“You shouldn’t,” he countered.
“But I do.”
He pressed his lips to her forehead.
“Promise me. Promise you’ll be here when I wake.”
His breathing slowed, but his heart pounded. “I’ll try.”
It was enough, and she fell asleep in A.J.’s arms.
When she woke the next morning, she was alone. She smelled coffee, so she figured he must be up already. When she padded into the kitchen, she found it cold and empty. A note with her name on it set by the coffeemaker.
Maddie picked it up and read.
Dear Maddie,
I have to go away to get my head straight. There won’t be cell signal where I’m going, so don’t try to contact me. I’m sorry.
--A.J.
She wadded up the paper, angry that he’d run instead of staying with her. She’d pushed too hard. Asked too much. But if he couldn’t handle being in a relationship with her, there was really nothing she could do about it. It hurt like hell, but she was going to have to figure out a way to accept it.
Alyana stumbled into the room. “You’re up. I was going to make the coffee. Sit and I’ll fix you eggs and toast.”
“Help me pack. We’re going back to the city.”
Alayna scooped up a spoon of sugar and stirred it into her coffee. “Don’t you think it’s too soon to travel? A.J. will never—”
“A.J.’s gone,” Maddie said. “And I need to get back to my life.”
16
The driver put her bags along with Alayna’s into the trunk. In the back seat, Maddie pulled her coat close around her. When the car began to move, Alayna said, “I don’t understand. How could he just leave?”
“It was too much for him.”
“Well, that’s completely ridiculous. You’re the best thing that ever happened to him.”
“He’s a loner. A relationship was never in his plans.”
“Sounds like someone I know.” Sarcasm dripped from the words. “People change. Look at you.”
“Not everyone can change.” At least he’d tried.
“I don’t believe that,” Alayna said. “And I don’t think you believe that either.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Maddie took off her gloves and laid them on the seat beside her. “I’m going to take some time off to get things ready for Thanksgiving. I want the kids to have a nice visit.” She hesitated. She’d imagined something altogether different with her introducing A.J. to them. “Then I want to focus on updating our client list. Set up a meeting with all the account managers. We need to make sure our clients are matched up with the right people. And the Christmas cards, let’s have them hand-lettered this year.”
“So, business as usual. Just forget that you fell in love with the man. In fact, forget he ever existed.”
“Yes. And to that
end, I don’t want to talk about him again.”
“Okay. Are you going to sell the cottage?”
“No. I’m keeping it. I know it’s a small town, but I’ll probably never see him. He doesn’t get out all that much.” Just on Saturday mornings for his runs and the occasional drink at Hale’s.
“You still intend to do Christmas in Jersey?”
“Yes.” It would be hard, but everything was going to be hard at first. Things would get easier with time. They had to. Surely she wouldn’t keep feeling like her heart had been physically ripped from her chest. No. Each day, it would get easier. That’s what she’d keep telling herself.
“What can I do to help you get through—” Alayna stopped, then started again. “I mean, help you get ready for Thanksgiving?”
“Do we still have reserved seating near Macy’s for the parade?”
“Yes. Are you going?”
“It’s a family tradition.”
“But Taylor and Dixon are older now. Maybe they’d rather do something else.”
“Good point. I’ll text them.”
Maddie picked up her phone and automatically checked for missed calls and texts. Nothing from A.J., of course. She did a group text to her children and reconfirmed their flight times. Then she added how much she was looking forward to their visit.
“Save us three seats, in case we need them.”
Alayna had her iPad out and was tapping away. “Anything else?”
She went blank when she saw Alayna’s iPad. She really wasn’t sure what they’d been discussing. “I’ll let you know.”
Seeing right through her, Alayna said, “You still need to take time to rest. I’m going to make an appointment with your internist so you can follow up with her.”
“Yes, Mother.”
Maddie went through the motions. Along with all the fixings for Thanksgiving, she stocked the refrigerator with all of Dixon’s and Taylor’s favorite things. She’d planned a Black Friday shopping extravaganza with them, ice skating at Rockefeller Center, and on Saturday, they’d get away to do a bit of skiing. But first, she’d pick them up from the airport, and they’d make plans for breakfast and the parade.
She’d checked her phone a zillion times, hoping against hope A.J. would phone or text. Of course, he hadn’t. He’d been silent. The pain came in waves, catching her off guard and pulling her feet out from under her. She’d ridden it out—had stayed busy. But it wasn’t getting easier. If anything, each day got harder.
Ridden (Scandalous Moves Book 3) Page 12
