Living Oprah

by Robyn Okrant

  A note about the monthly accounting charts: I do not include behind-the-scenes project-related costs, such as the amount of money I spent on VHS tapes for the year, or the time I spent blogging everyday. These logistics were integral to Living Oprah, but they were obviously not advised by Winfrey. I felt it would be unfair to pad my monthly totals by adding them here.

  Additionally, the charts show when advice and suggestions were received, although assignments may have been completed on a different date within 2008.

  Photo © Jim Stevens

  Before the Best Life Challenge…

  Photo © Jim Stevens

  This photo doesn’t do the layer of green slime justice. But, that’s probably for the best.

  January 2008 Accounting

  Date Assignment Cost Time Notes

  1/1 Subscribe to O, The Oprah Magazine. (LO) 25.92 0h 5m 1-year subscription for $21.97 plus $3.95 for Jan. 2008 issue

  1/1 Read O from cover to cover. (LO) 2h 30m Mmmm… pretty things…

  1/1 “Quick, name five terrific things about yourself!” (MAG) 0h 5m I’m funny, I’m loyal, I’m a good daughter, wife, and friend, I can laugh at myself, I’m willing to take risks.

  1/1 “Give yourself a time-out. Get into bed with a good book, the Sunday paper, or your favorite magazine… unplug the phone, and instruct, bribe, beg, command your family to grant you a few blissful minutes of rest….” (MAG) 1h 0m I should do this more often, I’m sure, but it’s not in my nature to put time aside for myself.

  1/1 “Reinvigorate your appearance with some great advice on how not to look old…” (MAG) 1h 0m I went through the 25 things on the “gotta go” list and tore through my closet. I think this will be an ongoing, yearlong project.… I’m going to log the initial hour, but know with my taste, it’ll be never ending! (O)

  1/1 “Rethink your eating habits with some absolutely delicious and utterly original meals…” (MAG) 0h 0m I rethought them. I think I eat very well but could spice things up and add more variety. (O)

  1/1 “Just plain enjoy my interview with the dazzling Denzel Washington…” (MAG) 0h 12m I just realized that sometimes she’s going to tell us to feel a certain way. This is weird. I’ll do my best.

  1/1 Blueberry Oatmeal Bars. (SHOW/WEB) 18.31 0h 45m Deceptively Delicious highlighted on Oprah. I visited her website and found this recipe.

  1/1 Mushroom, Goat Cheese, and Caramelized-Shallot Pizza. (WEB) 38.39 0h 45m This created several pizzas for about a dozen people. We kept making them fresh as people ate them. Big hit.

  1/2 “One of the big secrets for women to understand is you have to get things tailored.” (SHOW) 10.00 3h 15m 2 pairs of pants altered. I altered 2 dresses by hand (hem, strap length). Moved buttons on a blouse. I’m a terrible seamstress, but getting better.

  1/4 Use cloth and reusable bags at grocery store. No more plastic. (SHOW) 8.98 0h 5m I bought one bag at Trader Joe’s, one at Whole Foods. We have others as well. We carry bags around with us “just in case.” ($4.99 for one bag, $3.99 for another) (O)

  1/4 Change lightbulbs to energy-efficient bulbs. (SHOW) 56.00 0h 15m The $56 was for the initial purchase. As conventional bulbs burn out, we replace them. (O)

  1/8 “I think in terms of investment, it’s the best thing you can ever give yourself is to have beautiful surroundings.” (SHOW) 1h 0m I spend an hour beautifying and decide this will have to be an ongoing project for me. (O)

  1/9 “I would just say to anybody, whatever secret you’re holding, live your own truth.” (SHOW) 0h 0m This is a major one. I have to ruminate on it daily and also in the evening to make certain I fulfill living my “own truth.” (O)

  1/10 Sharon Salzberg meditation. (WEB) 0h 10m Discovered this audio file when I searched Oprah.com for stress relievers. I liked the guided meditation very much and will do it again. (O)

  1/10 Switch from overhead lighting to lamps. (SHOW) 1h 0m This just took some rearranging in our home. It was like doing a Rubik’s Cube, but finally figured it out. (Oprah-approved Nate Berkus suggestion on show)

  1/10 Put stuff on my walls that becomes art once I hang it. (SHOW) 51.39 2h 0m $5 for antique plate, $44.10 antique vent grills, $2.29 for picture kit to hang these. Also stuck some things around the house on our walls.

  1/10 Add sea life to rooms. (SHOW) 0h 15m Used stuff we had in closets and drawers: a nautilus shell, a sand dollar, and some stones we collected at the ocean. This is not my decorating style. (Oprah-approved Nate Berkus suggestion on show)

  1/10 Add a fabulous chair to each room. (SHOW) 429.68 4h 30m $160 in kitchen, $19.33 in bathroom, $40 in bedroom, $13.00 in front room, $197.35 in living room. I decided to call the yoga ball I use as an office chair “fabulous” so I wouldn’t have to get something new. (Oprah-approved Nate Berkus suggestion on show)

  1/10 Frame important notes. (SHOW) 1.00 0h 10m I reused some frames I already had. Only needed to buy one from dollar store.

  1/10 Add books about subjects you love to each room. (SHOW) 0h 10m Just took a tiny bit of rearranging. We tend to do this anyway. (Oprah-approved Nate Berkus suggestion on show)

  1/10 Make your rooms personal. (SHOW) 3h 30m Our rooms are in a constant state of flux as we continue “personalizing” them. It’s been fun. I stopped counting the time at the end of January and will simply make this ongoing. (O)

  1/14 Sign Best Life Challenge contract. (SHOW) 0h 2m Download, print, sign. This Challenge will be an ongoing project though the year. (O)

  1/16 See the movie Juno ASAP. (SHOW) 10.00 1h 36m Well, I had already seen it and thought at first that covered the assignment. Then I realized that Oprah’s wording meant I still had to go see it ASAP, so I did.

  1/17 Oprah hopes we will buy Christiane Northrup’s book Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom. (SHOW) 13.91 19h 15m (15 minutes to find lowest price; approx. 1140 minutes to read) This was a great buy. I read this book from cover to cover and have returned to it several times.

  1/17 Read Book Club selection Pillars of the Earth. (BC) 17h 0m I had a copy but can’t figure out where it came from. Did someone leave it at my house? Let me know.

  1/21 Take Peter Walsh’s online clutter test. (WEB) 0h 5m I’m mortified.

  1/23 Make Mustard Grilled Chicken and Roast Potatoes with Lemons. (WEB) 17.54 2h 0m Jim loved this meal so much. It encouraged me to continue cooking in this way. ($17.54 was for all ingredients not already in my pantry… why is it I never have mustard? Is someone stealing it?)

  1/23 “If visiting New York, visit the museums but then go to Dylan’s Candy Bar.” (SHOW) 0h 20m I’ve never wanted a salad as much as I did when I left that store.

  1/23 Oprah wants everyone to taste a MoonPie. (SHOW) 0h 1m Done.

  1/23 Oprah hopes we will watch African American Lives on PBS. (SHOW) 4h 0m Really interesting. Wish Henry Louis Gates, Jr., would research my family tree.

  1/23 “Please don’t tell Bob Greene” about all the junk Oprah ate on the show today. (SHOW) 0h 0m I promise I won’t. But should we be keeping secrets about our food and feeling shameful about it?

  1/25 Read “Feel the Heat” article. (WEB) 1h 0m Trying to build sexual energy in my marriage while working on my MFA thesis is not so sexy. Going to revisit later this year. Will keep the lessons in mind moving forward, though.

  1/29 Read Gavin de Becker’s The Gift of Fear. (SHOW) 9.00 3h 0m Is it ironic to be scared to read this?

  1/30 Purchase Post-It Flag Highlighter Pen from 3M. (SHOW) 8.49 0h 30m Oprah loves these. They seem like a waste of packaging and materials to me.

  1/30 Get Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth. (“Run out and get your book.”) (SHOW/BC) 8.40 0h 10m The first book I’ve owned with Oprah’s Book Club seal on the cover.

  1/30 Register for Eckhart Tolle online class. (SHOW/BC) 0h 5m Wonder if Oprah will be teaching? Moderating? Studying with us?

  Date Assignment Cost Time Notes

  Throughout month Watch every episode of Oprah. (LO) 23h 0m 23 episodes

  Throughout month Do Best Life Challenge exercise. (B
LC) 4h 0m 80 minutes a week × 3 weeks: 240 minutes

  TOTAL 707.01 98h 46m

  Accounting Abbreviations: LO = Living Oprah project task; SHOW = The Oprah Winfrey Show; WEB = Oprah.com; MAG = O, The Oprah Magazine ; BC = Oprah’s Book Club; BLC = Best Life Challenge; (O) = ongoing project

  Photo © Jim Stevens

  I adore this chair. Some day, I might even let someone else sit on it.

  Blog: First day of project: http://www.livingoprah.com/2007/01/let-experiment-begin.html

  FEBRUARY:

  An enterprising month

  Time spent this month: 67 hours, 8 minutes

  Dollars spent this month: $669.31

  Most inspiring suggestion: “Remember, it’s not just about money. It’s about what you can do for somebody else. Rally your friends, your family, neighbors, and pull off your own Big Give. Be creative.” I’m excited and a little daunted by this call to action.

  Poll results from LivingOprah.com: Have you ever followed health advice seen on Oprah’s show, website, or magazine?

  Yes (53%)

  No, but I’ve passed info along to someone else (5%)

  No (41%)

  ONE MONTH down.

  Weekends have become quite a relief for me. Although I am unwavering when it comes to following my project rules, I’ve given myself Saturday and Sunday off from blogging. Who knew that writing daily could be more draining than my Best Life Challenge exercise? The issue is not the consistency of writing the blog, but that I’m not yet entirely at ease exposing my feelings online. I want Living Oprah to be completely transparent this year, but I twitch whenever I divulge financial fear or other insecurities to the strangers who read my website. Still, it’s becoming less difficult and the anonymity definitely helps. So does my job. Going to teach at the yoga studio is a relief from being constantly “on.” After all, in order to avoid being kicked in the head when assisting students into handstand, I must focus on the present moment (and flying feet), not the Oprah project. The hours I spend teaching allow me to take my attention off myself and be useful to other people. Oprah is right — doing things for others makes me feel great and gets me out of my own head. It’s the one time during the day that I’m not wondering if I’m measuring up or if people think my outfit is unflattering. Also (and I’m really ashamed to tell you this), since watching the show daily and reading the magazines, I’ve been judging whether other women are dressing to Oprah’s specifications. It’s not as if before the project I walked around without comparing myself to other gals — I’m no saint — but now my eyes constantly dart around a room to see if anyone else is floundering as miserably as I am at this.

  Last night while channel surfing, Jim pointed at the TV and said, “That shirt is totally cutting that lady in half. It’s a really bad length for her body type.”

  “Excuse me?” Worried that my husband’s fashion commentary might be a sign of an impending apocalypse, I froze for a moment. Then I calmly asked where he learned to say such a thing and he looked sheepish. “Oprah?” I asked.

  He nodded and flipped the channel to a masculine-looking show about crime-scene detectives. Clearly this project hasn’t only changed me, it’s adjusted the very cells in Jim’s brain. I’m a little nervous that maybe he’s judging me every time we leave the house together. He used to be the lowest-maintenance man I’d ever met when it came to clothing. As long as it fit and had no visible stains or tears, he’d wear it. I am not even sure he would have noticed if I wore a ball gown or a garbage bag out to dinner in the past. Now I’ve given him a bite of the apple from the tree of style knowledge and created a weapon that could be used against me at any moment. Next time I ask him if my outfit makes my butt look fat, he might actually say yes. Eek.

  Whether the topic is style or spirituality, I find myself wavering between being thrilled by each new assignment and having a sort of knee-jerk, stubborn response. My hackles rise if Oprah touches on an area I am more sensitive about, like my home or my outward appearance. On the flip side of the coin, I get a little jolt of excitement when she offers suggestions that apply to physical and emotional well-being.

  Being a health junkie, I am excited to learn that in early February, Dr. Mehmet Oz is is going to lay out his antiaging plan for us. While I am happy to hear that the good doctor is visiting the show, I struggle with the term “antiaging.” Why is the natural process of growing older considered a disease that we’re all trying to eradicate? What a waste of time and energy and money to fight the inevitable. Of course, you should know that even as I wave my PROUD AT ANY AGE banner, I’m a big, fat hypocrite. I wish that getting older in this country wasn’t seen as a fate worse than death, but I totally buckle under the pressure. I’ve been dyeing my hair since I was about 14 or so, when premature grays began to sprout faster than I could pluck them. So while fighting visible signs that I am a human being seems utterly ridiculous, I’m not immune. Neither, it seems, are the folks at O magazine. Copious advertisements for turn-back-time products are sandwiched between articles.

  I have this totally idealistic dream that one day we’ll all accept how we look as we age and stop spending money for every serum under the sun. And I truly am willing to let go of all my fear and the time I spend looking at the skin on the back of my hands. But I’ll only do it if you do it first. I don’t want to be the only haggard-looking one out here. Maybe if we all count to three and drop our antiaging regimens at the same time, we can create a new normal for women and allow the weight of self-criticism to be lifted from our shoulders. Until then, while I still need to keep up with all you smooth-skinned gals, I’m slathering on the eye cream. Call me if you want to start a revolution.

  I wish I could once and for all separate the goal of a youthful appearance from the value of a healthy body. The aspect of the antiaging war I truly appreciate is when it addresses living, dare I say it, our “best lives” as long and as healthily as we can. I’ve applied my share of sunscreen in my time, but I’ve done a lot of harm, too. I was overweight and had a destructive lifestyle from college through my mid-20s and now, a decade later, I’m no Dara Torres, but I’m in the best shape of my life. And I want to keep getting better.

  When The Oprah Winfrey Show runs promos about Dr. Oz, I have a Pavlovian response (sans drooling). Even if I weren’t Living Oprah this year, I’d tune in to any episode she aired promising a sip from the Fountain of Youth. I know I am in good company. Some of my blog readers discuss getting and staying healthy for their families, or because it gives them confidence, and still others coyly admit to a bit of vanity. I think it’s a combination of all of these for me, and although I don’t have kids who beg to get bounced on my knee, I still want to stop my joints from creaking. And most important to me, my constant battle against the progression of double major scoliosis fuels my fire to stay healthy.

  I have what you might know as an S curve made up of two 60ish-degree angles in my spine. Remember that kid who was always made fun of in junior high because of her back brace? Well, that wasn’t me but it probably should have been. I avoided nasty nicknames because I didn’t wear a brace as a child. I simply bounded about the playground with a diagnosed but untreated condition. That was all well and good for a sprightly and otherwise healthy kid, but it led to chronic pain as an adult.

  My scoliosis is idiopathic, which is the medical community’s way of saying “We have no idea why you have what you have or why it’s getting worse.” Basically, I have two options. I could have my spine fused and rods inserted in my back so the curvature doesn’t worsen. If I do this, I won’t be able to bend or twist — not the most exciting prospect for a yoga teacher. Or I can keep myself as strong and healthy as possible, biding my time until I hear about wild advancements in noninvasive spinal procedures. While the chronic pain sometimes makes me want to give up and schedule surgery, I prefer to keep myself off the operating table. I’m not trying to garner even the tiniest bit of sympathy here, but I do want to draw a clear picture of why I am so rapt whenever
a doctor or alternative medical practitioner appears on the TV screen. I have a secret hope that someone will have information I’ve never heard. And even though I have a pretty strong suspicion that I’ll never learn anything new when I tune in, I still watch without fail.

  One of the reasons I was drawn to Oprah as a subject for this project was my continual search for new ways to manage my pain, keep my self-esteem from faltering, and ease the stress and fear associated with scoliosis. I’ve investigated various therapies and modalities, some physical, some spiritual and emotional, to help me cope with this lifelong journey. Through my research, I observed that several healing methodologies boasted some connection to Winfrey. “As Seen on Oprah!” was boldly posted on health-related websites and advertisements. Even before I conceived of Living Oprah, all roads were leading to her. Back then, I was dubious that I might find true aid and solace in front of the television. But now, fully invested in this project, I have an excuse to drop my apprehension and open myself to the possibility that Oprah’s favored health-care professionals can help me improve my quality of life.

  As Dr. Oz steps onto Winfrey’s stage, I allow myself to wish today, with wild abandon, that I might acquire surprising knowledge to stop the effect of time and gravity on my body. I am disappointed that the info I hear on Dr. Oz’s antiaging episode is data I’ve read, watched, or heard before. But Oprah and her staff have a magical way of presenting material so it feels new. Many folks in her audience look completely amazed by the advice they are receiving, as if they’d never before heard the word “antioxidant” or knew they were supposed to exercise. And who knew — fiber is good for you!

  And speaking of fiber, we’ve all been urged on the Oprah show to strive toward S-shaped fecal matter. Not only do I stare at myself in every reflection I pass to make certain I am acceptably dressed, but now I need to study the toilet bowl to make sure I’m a proper pooper. Clearly, there is no aspect of my life that can remain untouched by Oprah’s guidance. So much for my promise to Jim that I could compartmentalize this project without allowing it to affect my life in a meaningful way. If I’m to do this successfully, I’ve got to surrender more self-control and self-direction than I thought.