by Robyn Okrant
On the flip side of The Secret, our negative thinking has an equal response from the universe. Negativity begets negativity: Getting stuck in traffic, trudging through unfulfilling jobs, being dragged down by disease, and other nastiness are all caused by our pessimistic energy. While I believe we make our own luck, I am convinced there are outside influences at play. If I’m wrong, then every tragedy that has befallen mankind occurred because of our own stinkin’ thinkin’. Perhaps I’m not open-minded or evolved enough, but I just can’t get my mind around this.
Maybe I’m taking this all a bit personally. I saw the video of The Secret for the first time after Oprah promoted it early in 2007. My friend Grace lent me her copy, and while I dug much of it, when it came to the topic of health and disease, my feathers became ruffled. I felt I was being blamed for my own genetics, as if twisted thinking brought on my scoliosis. I became offended and felt the movie implied that if I had a more positive outlook on life, my spine would straighten and I’d live forever pain-free riding my pet unicorn through a field of rainbows.
Lucky for me, Oprah succeeds in delving deeper into the law of attraction, where The Secret fell short. As she is a huge proponent of the principle of attraction in all aspects of our lives, she does several shows on the topic with multiple experts to help explain the philosophy. While The Secret focused so much on the acquisition of material wealth, I’m relieved that Oprah’s emphasis isn’t entirely on that component. She’s not advising us all to make a wish list of things we dream of owning.
Everyone brought on the show to discuss the law of attraction is a cheerleader for the cause. I’d love to hear more than one perspective on this issue but have learned not to expect one. Debate isn’t a feature frequently seen on Oprah’s show.
According to my blog readers, many people feel excluded or turned off by Oprah’s focus on this philosophy. I hear from people who say they stopped watching the show, after years of dedication to it, because of the spiritual path Oprah has promoted. Speaking as someone who, in early childhood, felt excluded by my peers due to my own religion, I can empathize with their feelings. It really stinks to have the most influential woman on television (or the most popular kid in school, in my case) omit you from her circle because your beliefs do not correspond with her own. Still, we all have the power to physically turn off the television if we’re spiritually turned off by Oprah.
I do worry about the possibility that some viewers’ health could be compromised by the areas in which they are applying the law of attraction as seen on Oprah. In a recent rerun, even Winfrey seemed concerned by the effect her powerful message had on her audience. She spoke with a woman who was so gung ho since learning about The Secret from watching an episode of Oprah that she was forgoing conventional medical advice about her cancer treatment. She’d decided to heal herself using the law of attraction. Oprah wanted us to make certain we were receiving good medical care in addition to using the law of attraction to heal ourselves. It was the first and, I believe, only time this year I heard her suggest there are other laws in the universe, and that attraction is just one tool we might utilize. I find myself more amenable to her suggestions when they are flexible, inclusive, and open to debate than when they are delivered as edicts. Unless of course she proclaims I should go to Tahiti. I have no moral qualms on this subject whatsoever.
My goodness, it’s been such a busy month, I never told you that Jim and I are currently living with less. That’s right, I’ve bitten Oprah’s hook and decided to try an optional program she’s offered. It’s called the “Your Family’s ‘Live With Less’ Challenge.” Oprah is on a crusade to get us to stop being so wasteful. I initially blanched at the thought of a woman who owns a private jet, several homes, and gazillion-dollar shoes (that are so painful, she admits, “I have to tell you, no exaggeration, I complain about it every day”) telling me that I’m part of the consumption problem. But you know what? I don’t necessarily think she’s wrong. At the beginning of the year, as a result of a show about recycling and being kind to the earth, I bought aluminum reusable bottles and added to our collection of reusable shopping bags so we wouldn’t be adding to landfills with plastic bags and bottles. Luckily, we already had a jump on this project. Here’s Oprah’s letter, laying out the program to her audience:
Dear Family,
Thanks for agreeing to live with less for a week. Your challenge starts now!
This week, you will be eating at home every meal. No more eating out, no more takeout. And you have to eat your leftovers. If you throw food in the trash, you’ve got to ’fess up.
For one week, you’re going to give up the bottled water habit. Get a water filter — time to get to know your tap.
No more disposable plates, cups, napkins or paper towels. Try cloth — you might like it!-
For entertainment, you’ll have to rely on each other. For one week, I’m asking you to give up your iPods and video games, and your computers only get turned on for homework. TV is limited to one hour per night — one TV only.
That thermostat is going way down… to 69 degrees. If you get cold, put on a sweater.
Give your washing machine a break — try to wash only clothes that are TRULY dirty.
When you leave a room, lights out. Ditto for fans. When you’re done using an appliance, unplug it. Don’t forget your computer and cell phone chargers too.
Showers are going to be shorter — eight minutes max. Use a kitchen timer to help you keep track.
Want to go shopping? Head to your closets. That’s your wardrobe for the week. The mall is off-limits.
Your final challenge — no buying anything other than food for seven days.
Good luck,
Oprah
There’s no indication that Oprah’s tried her own suggestions, so I can’t be certain if she completed the weeklong program, but I’ve found it enlightening so far. Jim and I definitely have more time together, unencumbered by noise. And even though we’re supposed to do the wash only if things are TRULY dirty, we’re creating more laundry by using many more towels and rags, since we can’t use paper products. It makes me wonder what has more impact on the planet: using recycled paper towels and napkins or using water, biodegradable soap, and electricity to do laundry. It’s confusing. I want to be a good earthling, but it’s hard to do everything right without wondering if I’m going about it the wrong way. Normally, I’d research the topic and make an informed decision on how to proceed, but this year I’m so busy it’s all I can do to follow the leader without stopping to dig deeper into the truth. It makes me reflect upon how many times, before the project, I might have reflexively followed advice seen on TV without stopping to ask for a second opinion.
I like to have my iPod on at the gym, and I miss it. It lessens the pain of my Best Life Challenge exercise to have “Eye of the Tiger” blasting in my ears as I near the end of my workout. I can’t even watch the television hanging on the wall in front of my treadmill because I am allowed only an hour of it each night. Instead, I find myself staring at the timer, which makes my exercise interminable.
As the weeklong challenge draws to an end, I feel similar to the way I did when my 21-day cleanse ended. Voracious. I definitely learned good lessons from deprivation, but it’s these crash courses that make my behavior even more extreme when they’re over. No wonder so many of us are doomed to fail at these projects, whether they are centered on health, weight loss, or lifestyle changes, when there is no follow-up information on how to transition from the extreme back to “normal.” Most self-help is focused on the radical change part of the plan rather than on the maintenance of it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get off my high horse. They don’t allow animals into the restaurant where I’m about to dine, and this wasteful consumer is eating out tonight.
One of Oprah’s greatest skills is that of a motivator. Sometimes she does this with her own oration, but more frequently she inspires her audience by acting as a catalyst for her guests’ inspirational stories.
Oprah is able to draw to her show a wide array of guests we might not see gathered by any other single outlet. From entrepreneurs to criminals behind bars to movie stars, she books them all. Sitting on Oprah’s couch garners a guest insta-respect, insta-profits, or an insta-platform upon which to share one’s brand with millions of eager viewers. And yet it’s the guests who have little to gain who interest me the most this year. It is while viewing one of these episodes that I become more inspired than I’ve ever been by a talk show.
That’s right, I can absolutely say without irony that an Oprah episode changed my life. Was I expecting any of the shows this season to hit me in such a profound way? Not really. Could I have learned about the people I saw on today’s show through sources other than Oprah? Certainly. But I didn’t. I saw them on Winfrey’s stage.
All my judgment over repetitive shows and reruns drains out of my body and I’m actually feeling a little naked. I find myself reconsidering if it really matters how much crap we need to wade through in order to hear one bit of inspiration we’ve never before received. Could it be that all my wasted time in front of the television set is worth it, hearing one thing that changes my life for the better? Maybe forever?
I’m speaking, of course, about Oprah’s episode focused on the Sex and the City movie.
No, I’m totally joking. I just needed to lighten up for a moment.
I’m actually referring to a show about two people with incurable cancer, Dr. Randy Pausch and Kris Carr. It is their concentrated energy and their ability to live each and every day with the fullest expression of themselves that is so impressive. I am deeply touched by their stories. They seem more vital and excited by life than most people with healthy bodies I know. Carr says her cancer has been her “teacher,” and I well up with tears.
As someone with a painful, chronic physical problem and as a human being who can be knocked to the ground by life’s hard times, that message shakes me to my core. It is as if suddenly a weight that I didn’t even know I was lugging around is removed from my shoulders (and, people with spinal problems, you know what a relief that is). I start to think about how my pain can be my guide, rather than an enemy. Instead of feeling like my health is presenting me with one obstacle after the next and that I might not have the strength to persevere, my mind floods with the possibilities of how I can adapt my thinking. I’m so overwhelmed with emotion that I can’t write about the show on my blog right away, and instead need to get some fresh air.
Oprah is the curator of her “Best Life” gallery, and I have finally stumbled upon a piece that makes me understand why she has so many devout followers. In hearing a message that changes my life for the better, I’m more excited about the prospect of turning on the show the next day and possibly getting another nugget.
Photo © Jim Stevens
Here they are: all my hopes and dreams pinned to cork board.
June 2008 Accounting
Date Assignment Cost Time Notes
6/1 Read O from cover to cover. (LO) 4h 0m
6/1 “Stop defining yourself by what you see or think you see when you look in the mirror.” (MAG) 0h 0m Goal stated by Oprah in her “Here We Go!” letter (p. 35). (0)
6/2 “Join us for our all-new Soul Series.” (SHOW) 1h 30m More Tolle. Downloaded on iTunes.
6/11 “I think everybody should have a little garden, no matter where you live.” (SHOW) 37.50 1h 0m Gotta turn my black thumbs green ($28.95 for herb starter kit, $8.55 for SH, no tax). I had to do this twice since the first time was a flop. Second time is sad, but I see sprouting….
6/11 “You need a garden tote.” (SHOW) 0h 0m Although she was indicating a specific one, she didn’t specifically tell us to get a brand/model, so I’m recycling an old tote I have for the purpose of this assignment.
6/11 “You need an ergonomic tool set.” (SHOW) 50.40 0h 15m Purchased set online. ($39.99 for tools, SH $6.57, tax $3.84)
6/11 “You need a BloemBox tiny little tin.” (SHOW) 10.90 0h 5m Purchased online. ($5.95 for tiny tin, SH $4.95)
6/11 “You need the Inspired book from Jamie Durie.” (SHOW) 20.30 0h 20m Looked for lower price, couldn’t find one. Pretty book.
6/11 “And you also need a $150 gift card from Lowe’s…” (this was to go into the Summer in a Box garden basket she gave out to her audience). (SHOW) 150.00 0h 5m Ordered online. I’m sure this will come in handy at some point, or I’ll give it as a gift or donation.
6/11 “By the end of this hour… I hope you will agree: It’s high time to reach out, extend yourself, and meet your neighbors. Do something nice for them.” (SHOW) 14.68 1h 0m We were moving out of our old place so were able to write a card to our old neighbor. Still need to do something for our new ones. Stopped by new neighbor’s apartment… met some of his family. Update: We did create Halloween bags for our neighbors with little greetings in them. (old neighbor: card and candy $6.68; new neighbors: $8)
6/12 “Everybody think about this: On the way to work or on the way to do whatever you do during the day… how many negative things.… the negative tape that’s playing in your head all day long about yourself. I can’t do that, I shouldn’t do that, I’m too fat, oh, look at my thighs.…” (SHOW) 0h 45m Did this on walk to work. (O)
6/16 “So if you have a brother or sister, call them or send an e-mail just to let them know you’re thinking about them today.” (SHOW) 0h 5m I zapped Elisabeth an e-mail. This show was on National Sibling Day. Love you, sistah!
6/25 “I think we should be open like Horton.” (SHOW) 0h 0m I commit to remain as open to all possibilities as possible even without concrete proof (at least for this year!). (O)
6/26 Read “the five books everyone needs to read once.” (BC) 25.51 2h 15m Lolita (READ IT ALREADY!) by Vladimir Nabokov
Waiting for Godot (READ IT!) by Samuel Beckett
Things Fall Apart (READ IT!) by Chinua Achebe
Four Quartets (GOING ON THE LIST) by T. S. Eliot
The Wisdom of the Desert: Sayings from the Desert Fathers of the Fourth Century (ALSO GOING ON THE LIST) translated by Thomas Merton
Two books: $20.53; SH $4.98 (75 minutes Four Quartets; 60 minutes so far on The Wisdom of the Desert)
6/27 “Make your own Vision Board.” (SHOW) 12.48 1h 0m I was surprised at how much I enjoyed creating it. But even though I placed in it my living room I forget to look at it. (Corkboard $10.49, pins $1.99. Friends gave me magazines.) I will update this board as needed! (O)
Date Assignment Cost Time Notes
Throughout Month Watch every episode of Oprah. (LO) 21h 0m 21 shows
Throughout Month Do Best Life Challenge exercise. (BLC) 5h 20m 80 minutes a week for 4 weeks
Throughout Month Take A Course in Miracles. (WEB/SHOW) 7h 30m approx. 15 min/30 days
MONTHLY TOTAL 321.77 46h 10m
YEAR-TO-DATE TOTAL 2,655.19 814h 51m
ONGOING PROJECTS
– “Reinvigorate your appearance with some great advice on how not to look old…”
– “Rethink your eating habits with some absolutely delicious and utterly original meals.…”
– Use cloth and reusable bags at grocery store. No more plastic.
– Change lightbulbs to energy-efficient bulbs.
– “I think in terms of investment, it’s the best thing you can ever give yourself is to have beautiful surroundings.”
– “I would just say to anybody, whatever secret you’re holding, live your own truth.”
– Sharon Salzberg meditation
– Make your rooms personal.
– Best Life Challenge exercise and diet guidance
– “I do want you to start thinking about, as I have started thinking about, how much you consume. I mean, like every time you throw away a paper towel. Every time you are, you know, wasteful with food in your house… just think about how much you really need.”
– “Get a lift when you come in the front door.”
– “I want you to savor every meal.”
– “I want y
ou to pay attention to how happy women get that way.”
– A Course in Miracles
– Declutter home/life.
– A New Earth meditation
– “With the arrival of spring, I hope you, too, will reconnect with nature.”
– “When you think that you’re going to get in a car and drive, I want you to think about this mother holding her daughter’s head on the side of the highway. That’s the thought I want to come to your mind before you go to get in the car after having even one drink.”
Accounting Abbreviations: LO = Living Oprah Project Task, SHOW = The Oprah Winfrey Show, WEB = Oprah.com, MAG = O, The Oprah Magazine, BC = Oprah’s Book Club, BLC = Best Life Challenge, (O) = ongoing project
Blog: Regarding Oprah’s favorite turkey burgers: http://www.livingoprah.com/2008/06/oprah-cornucopia-opracopia.html
Blog: Regarding Oprah’s influence: http://www.livingoprah.com/2008/06/im-boss-of-oprahand-so-are-you.html
JULY:
Name that blogger
Time spent this month: 58 hours, 57 minutes
Dollars spent this month: $113.39
Oh, is THAT all?: “Learn to accept all people.”
Words that stuck: “I think O’s audience have stuck with her *because* she’s their shepherd.… Everyone is looking to someone or something for leadership, guidance, protection, and nourishment, so whether we find that in God or Oprah or Obama or Drudge, it’s a need that must be met.” — Comment made by Dawn-Michelle Springer on LivingOprah.com
IAM sitting aboard a Chicago El train with Jim. We’re on our way downtown to do some errands. I have yet to buy the requisite oversized handbag mentioned by Oprah back in January, and I’m hoping to find some sales. He’s been elbowing me for the past few stops as he’s spotted people with the Chicago Reader, a popular free weekly newspaper, open to a story about my Living Oprah experiment. I’m in a cold sweat, trying to use my powers of telepathy to determine whether these folks think I’m nuts or if they’re intrigued by my project. Just as I assumed, I’m not remotely telepathic and I give up the fruitless mind reading.
